#567: The Energy of Mid-Life Crises

Flow Dreaming.

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief, and that is what being aware of your flow does.

It gives you a feeling of power.

Again in your lives.

Breathe.

I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome. Welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. How are you guys doing today? Oh, boy, do we have a topic. This is another one of those topics that just sucked me in completely as I started researching it and felt like, wow. Oh, I am. I am learning more than I needed to know. Yes, indeed. Wow. We are talking about a midlife crisis. Yes, an actual midlife crisis. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Do you have to be in midlife to even have one of these? Maybe, maybe not. So this is number 567 in our beautiful row of Flow Dreaming shows over the years that the energy of midlife crises. So we're gonna dig in. I'm gonna give you 16 different signs that you may be in the midst of a midlife crisis. And I don't know why, but today's episode and topic remind me a bit of a show I did a few years ago called Career ptsd, where I basically talked you through the signs that maybe you have been damaged from your career. And we never really think of that because we always think it's a relationship that damages us. We don't realize just the very environment we're in can cause a kind of fallout. So, yeah, we're gonna just kind of keep that in the back of our minds as we look at what the energy of a crisis is. And so some of this, of course, these 16 signs, they're gonna be things you will hear other places in and about the. You know, the web. And, of course, I did my own research and pulled from different site, Psychology Today and Forbes and Women's Day. There's all kinds of sites that give you, you know, information and signs. But as always, in Flow Dreaming, we push it through the lens of energy and flow and personal growth and what it means. Like, what's the deeper level of the midlife crisis and what can you do to get out of it? Because in Flow Dreaming, the biggest. One of the biggest things we teach, of course, is you are never powerless in the face of anything. Sometimes, yeah, you just have to kind of blow through things and flow through things and let the experience ride itself out. However, you are never powerless in any kind of experience that you have. You are always a co creator, you always have options and you always have choices. And today maybe the very best and only thing you can do is finally put a name on that thing that you've been feeling. Because the worst thing is when we feel like confused and lost and unsure and we don't know and it's like we just feel powerless. We don't even know what's going on with us. But the minute you put a name to it, you say, oh, this is a thing. Ah, can you feel it? It's like there's already like your shoulders let down. You're like, oh, this is a thing. You know, this is a real thing. And it happens and it happens to a lot of people. Therefore it's not just me having my own private meltdown, but there is a way through this and this is well established and there are ways I can think and feel and do differently to get me to the other side of this easier and faster and quicker. Of course, using both physical means and non physical means. Because that's how we approach life through our Flow Dreaming lens. So welcome all of you guys, especially those of you who are here for the first time. If you are unsure what Flow Dreaming is, just go to my website, flowdreaming.com. i have a wonderful free kit there where I teach you what it is. And if you're curious about me school, I'm just going to toss it out there. We are enrolling, so this month, next month, month after, let me know, give me a call. And I'm totally happy to talk to you about my flagship program. It is a worldwide school and at this time, at this moment, I am the one picking up the phone. So you never know who you're going to get. But right now it's me. So do give me a call. And that again is@flow dreaming.com. so let's dive in right now to these 16 signs that you may be having a crisis. So some of these are just geared more towards women, some are geared more towards men. A lot of them are of course, you know, gender neutral. Is that the term I would use now? They apply to both of us, all of us, any kinds of us, men, women and, and all of us. I think the very first sign is this feeling that everything is just blah, blah, you know, I mean, I just don't have the enthusiasm I once had. I just, I feel apathetic. I don't feel like whatever. And this can manifest in, in small subtle ways, like I don't like To. I don't really feel inspired to go out of the house anymore. The thought of going to the grocery store is just like, really, Again, boring, Constant. The thought of maybe having friends over, oh, what a lot of work. I don't even know if I want to see them. It's not that fun anyway, right? We. We come up with these little reasons day by day for why we just really don't want to do things. And so we end up just doing the minimal that we have to do each day. You know, if you work from home, you're in your pajamas all day. If you are having to go out to work, you go to work and you come home and you pick up food, fast food on the way, because it's easy. You're just like, I don't know, there's a zip or something that has left you. So ask yourself, are you showing signs of this? Of just not really caring, just not being interested in stuff? The next sign, and believe me, I know this sounds like, oh, is this going to be a downer? No, no, no. We're going to go up, up, up from here. This is all just the identification phase. And you know, I'm really big on that. Because if you can really accurately identify where you are, you can change it. When you cannot accurately identify, then you feel lost and ensnared and powerless. So the number two is you dread getting out of bed, right? Do you go, oh, God, it's Monday. Oh, another day like yesterday. Ugh, do I have to go face all of that? You already have. You know, the moment you wake up, instead of feeling like, I'm gonna brush my teeth and. And do my hair and show up great, and have a wonderful, fun day. I can't wait. Your thought is again, really, I really don't want to do this. I really don't want to do this. That's that feeling of dread. Here's the next sign. We're gonna speed through these. Okay. All thought, no action. What does all thought and no action mean? Well, you think about things that you want to do, you'd like to do, but you don't do them. You're really not sure if you should do them. What if they don't work out? What if it's not the best choice? What if you start hanging all of these worries and fears on should I do this or not? And if I don't make the best choice, then I'm screw. And you kind of build things up to the point where you're paralyzed and you just keep sitting there Wondering, should I do this? I don't know. I don't know, I don't know. Count the number of times you say, I don't know, or I'll wait and see, or I'm not sure yet. Just how often do those moods flitter flutter through you in a day? Especially as you're thinking about things that may be important to you. Oh, boy, oh, boy. You're like, okay, I'm four out of four. I'm four out of four now. Or three out of three. Whatever. Three out of three. Yes. Here's four out of four. You can't summon the urge to try again. You feel like, I don't have the resilience I once did. Isn't this interesting? Because it seems like as we get older, we should be increasing our resiliency because we have more wisdom, right? We have more experience, we have more to pull from. And so with these greater abilities, this greater capacity, we would be tougher and things wouldn't get to us as much. But instead you find yourself thinking, I already tried this before and it didn't work. I tried it and it failed and it didn't work out. And I'm done with all of my relationships. I'm never gonna try those again. I always get the same kind, and I just don't have the bounce back that I used to have, Right? Raise your hand. Do you have the bounce back that you used to have? Imagine when you were 20. I know. You were on a roller coaster of highs and lows. Life was greater, it sucked. Everything was exciting. But you were bouncing back, right? How about now? Are you still bouncing back as effortlessly as quickly, or is there more of a sigh? Like, here we go again, number five. Oh, I know, I know. You're starting to get to. You're like, oh, God, I might be having a midlife crisis. Number five. You feel like you're on autopilot, right? Just day in, day out, same stuff. Get up, brush teeth, eat, go to work, come home from work, pick up the kids from school, buy the groceries, put away the groceries, make dinner, watch tv, go to bed, next day, rinse and repeat. Are you feeling like it's just this churn of same, same, same, same? Like there's a piece missing and you're not even sure what that piece is. It's just missing. That's a sense of autopilot. How about this one? Your plans just aren't working out. Whatever you've got in your head, whatever you put together in your life, maybe you have a wonderful partner. Great kids, a good house, a good job, but you just still feel like it's not really working out. It's not giving me what I thought it would give me. Not feeling deeply and richly fulfilled. Maybe, on the other hand, you were not able to put those things together, and you don't have any money in your retirement account, and your job sucks and your partner is just so. So. And frankly, you wish you could divorce, but you can't because you're stuck. And your kids turned out to be little rotten rats, and that makes you feel terrible. And maybe not all of these, but all the things you tried to do. You look back and you're like, God, I just. I did them all, but they just didn't turn out the way I wanted. It just. It hurts my heart, and I just feel low. We're going to pause right now because I want to point out something. A lot of these are also signs of depression, deep depression. But when looked at in a particular age range, as a kind of grouping together of certain of these, where things were good and now they just feel like everything is in question. Everything is in question. This becomes a more predictable phase, not just the depression that has swept you along perhaps here and there in life, or maybe your first time ever experiencing depression, but what we're really getting to here is a phase of being a very common. Common phase of being. The next sign you might be is you're making changes, but they seem really out of character for you, right? People are asking, what are you doing? Why did you cut your hair off and dye it? Why did you. Hey, guys, why'd you buy that sports car or motorcycle or, ladies, why did you get a crush on that young guy at the office when you have your old husband at home? What's going on? This is so unlike you. These are changes that are out of character for you. It's like there's something inside you that's saying, please do something, do anything. I'm suffocating in here. Do something, do anything. And so you try to find something that's kind of flashy and big and you think might just change it all up. Getting that divorce or, you know, selling the house. Just anything, change it up. Sign of a midlife crisis. Next one, more common. You guys have all heard this one. You start asking, who am I? Who am I? What am I? What am I here for? What's the point? Am I really being me? Am I really being me? You know, I've seen students and work with clients. You know, they get to be 50 and they're like, I'm divorcing my husband and I'm gay. What? Wait a second. How did you figure this out? I just started to ask that real question, who am I? And when I dug down, I found something. So the who am I? Questions often lead you to personal growth. First of all, they lead you to stop just grinding through the mill of what everybody else is doing. And you start to find yourself reading books you never read before and watching YouTube videos of people you never thought of before used to joke about. Now they're making total, complete, absolute sense to you. Who am I, by the way, I see you guys on hold. Thank you. I know you're there, my lovely callers, and I can't wait to get to you. So just stay with me.

In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the U.S. number, 1-760-456-7277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays, so check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast time. Again, reach me at 1-760-456-7277. Now, let's get back to the show.

Next one. Another sign you might be having a midlife crisis. You have very short patience, a short fuse. You're forgetful. You just don't seem to be all in there. You're not paying attention, or you get easily irritated. Women like us especially, we lose our temperature, temperature, temperature. We lose our temper quickly, quicker than normal. Because it's like there's a constant rub, right? It's like having a blister, you know, it's just constant, constant, constant. So you give a little extra kick, and it's like, boom. And this is. This is similar to the. Don't have the resilience and the bounce back anymore. But that's more like. I'm thinking about getting a new job. Oh, God. I don't want to go through that again. Oh, I'm thinking about moving. I don't want to do that again. I'm thinking about, you know, starting trying to be an entrepreneur. Oh, I already tried that. I'm done. No, I just mean, like, short term. I feel impatient quickly. I mean, things that used to, I used to let slide, now they just get under my skin and they annoy the heck out of me. Midlife crisis. Another one. Sort of like when you make changes that are out of character. For instance, it's sort of similar, but you change your friends, right? Again. You fall for someone new when you're not supposed to anything. Liven up my day. Give me something. You know. And these friends may be friends who are a little more dangerous or edgy or, you know, push you or rattle up the state of your marriage, you know, why are you going out with those people? I don't think they're good for you. I don't care. I want to go hang out with the girls tonight. And, you know, your spouse is like, but they're not good girls. They're, you know, I mean, they're. These ladies are, you know, I don't think they're good for you. You're like, well, we're going to go Club till 2:00am like, honey, no. Well, we're going to do it. I don't know anybody who's 50 who can do that anymore. But nonetheless, that's the idea. You change your friends. You change the people you hang out with. You're looking for stimulation. It's what we're really getting down to. You're looking for new kinds of stimulation in your relationships because you look at the relationships you have, which are often very good and solid and comfortable, but they're too comfortable. They've become comfortably boring. And you are exploding inside with a need for something. Couple more. I know there's quite a few. Are you guys checking this list off? Mm. Maybe your view of the future kind of sucks, right? Just your view of the future is like, damn, I just don't see where we're going from here, you know? The thought that I have 20 more years left in my career is just making me, like, cry. I just can't handle it. I just. God, what am I gonna do? The fact that I have 20 more years married to this person. Oh, geez, what am I gonna do? The fact that I have 20 more years, that I'll probably be single. Like, when you look ahead, what's the feeling in your heart? Is it despair and gloom? That's probably a sign of this phase, not who you really, really are. Another one. Another sign can be you're always kind of bored. Similar to being apathetic, but bored is just like, nothing interests me. You know, I went sailing and I was like, whatever. I took up cooking classes. Boring. Just everything I'm doing is boring me. Same old, same old. Or even if it's new, it just feels silly and dumb and just not very engaging. Hmm. Maybe you are stuck with an overwhelming sense of loss, right? A big sense of loss. This is like looking ahead the next 20 or years, and. And instead you're looking behind. You did an episode a few weeks back called Backwards Looking Girl, you want to look that one up? Backwards Looking girl. I wonder what, I wonder what episode number that is. Maybe I can find that out for you real quickly while I'm looking. Let's see, Backwards Looking girl would have been just for your reference. It was a real good one, too. Yeah, that was number 563. So look that up. 563. When you're looking backwards and having a sense of loss, it feels like this. All the good stuff happened in my 30s. All the good stuff happened in my 20s, you know, when I first got married or I first had my kids or I had that great job for a while, you know, when my mom was still alive and with me, when I had that really great circle of friends, you know, right through college or after college. And I've just never had anyone as close to me since then. All of that is loss. I lost it and I lost it and I lost it and I don't have it now and I don't know that I'll ever get it again. That's a crisis moment inside of you, right? This is a dark night of the soul that I'm describing. It is a phase. It is transitional. This isn't forever. Couple more. Couple more and then I'll wrap up this list because I want to talk to you about it, what you can do about it, how you turn the corner away from this. And then, yeah, we'll do some calls and we're going to do some flow dreaming, some real energy work right here to get you out of it. Maybe you started being really worried about your looks or on the other hand, you just stopped caring altogether. So being really worried is, oh my gosh, I'm getting Botox and I'm getting my spider veins removed and I'm getting a little lipo and I'm getting that neck lifty thing and I'm dyeing my hair and I've got to dye it. And you know, it's this, this, this. Not just general self care. It's more like I am falling to pieces and I've got to shore things up. You know, I'm really concerned that I'm going to look old and I hate that and I can't handle that and I can't have that. I need to look how I looked when I was 30, 25. Or conversely, maybe the other side for you of the midlife crisis is who the hell cares how I look anymore? No one's looking at me anyway. I haven't had a, you know, a member of the Opposite sex. Check me out in 10 years. So who cares? I'm just gonna like wear my old grubby clothes around and, you know, not get my hair done for, you know, four years and just say, to hell with it, to hell with y'. All. I don't care how I look. I don't care. I just don't care because nobody cares looking at me, right? What you're really saying is I don't think the world really cares about me anymore, so I'm just not gonna give them anything to care about. I'm just going to take it off my list because I'm not relevant, right? Isn't that what that's saying? I'm not relevant either. So I'm going to push harder and get all that surgery face done and. Or I'm going to just say, screw it. I'm not relevant and I know it. Midlife crisis. Wish I had a little bell I could ring every time. Midlife crisis. Ding, ding, ding. How about these next two? Last two? You feel older than you are and some things can kick this off in you. You know, you go through trauma, you lose someone you love, it's going to age you. My case went through cancer, mastectomy treatment, multiple surgeries made me feel older. I went from feeling like a 43 year old to a 63 year old. And I've had to remind myself, you're not 63, you're. You're still like right in the middle of your life. Oh, yeah, Scale back my mind a little bit. Get back to that pre trauma way of thinking and feeling. But maybe you didn't have a trauma, maybe you were just suddenly feeling like, hey, you know, I'm 57 and I'm, I'm old, I'm done. I'm pretty much done the next 30 years, 20 years, I don't know, what am I going to do? I don't know. My life is mostly over. It's a place where you leave your mind. It's a state of mind that if it's older than what you actually are, is kind of an indicator you're in a weird spot. You should be right where you are mentally inside the seat of you last. Best years are behind you, right? This is that sense of loss. I've lost things, I lost all of them. But the best years are behind you. It's just more like a knowing, yeah, it'll never be that good again. Never be that good again. So now what? Can you see how that would play into feelings of boredom, dread, getting out of Bed having no resilience, being on autopilot, etc. Yeah, so there you go. That was the most depressing rundown I think I have ever done in the history of these Flow Dreaming episodes. Especially because probably most of us are experiencing a number of these. There is a higher number of people in personal growth in your 40s and 50s than in any other age range. And I think it's often because we are driven to this because of these very things that we're feeling and experiencing. And we feel like we shouldn't say this, you know, for shame. We're supposed to keep our emotions up and our feelings where we want them to be and, you know, but secretly we feel like, yeah, I'm having a crisis and I'm trying to do everything I know how to do to solve it and I don't really know what to do. So now I'm gonna look. Well, you know what? Welcome here. Welcome. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Welcome to us. Welcome to all of your peers. Welcome to millions of men and women all through the United States and around the world right now who feel exactly like this. And maybe it's coupled with a sense of depression and maybe it's just coupled with this overarching sense of anxiety. Anxiety. What the frickin frack am I doing? Here's how I work with this in flow. Here's how I work with these feelings inside myself, because I'm not immune to them. I have a number of these that are on the list. I'm also right in the middle of my 40s, have been through a lot in the last few years, and I'm doing a lot. I'm still raising two kids who are both still in school, in primary school, for goodness sakes. So when these feelings come up, very first thing I do, and I want you guys to do this, please, please, please, is be gentle, be gentle with yourself, right? This is not the end of the world. You are not ruined. You are not over. You are not in the latter half of life where everything sucks. You are very, very capable of renewing yourself. And just because you don't know exactly what that looks like, we've become habituated, accustomed to knowing in advance what it's going to look like, what we're going to get into next, right? We forget when we were, you know, 20, we didn't know what was coming next. We might have known, hey, I'm going to go to college, or, hey, I'm going to go out and get my first job. But really, we just didn't know what was next? After that we had some vague ideas about what would happen. I'll probably get married, maybe I'll have kids or something, know, maybe I'll travel around the world a bit or maybe I'll, you know, become a, you know, professor of, of, you know, insects or bugs or something. I don't know, vague ideas. But it wasn't like we knew, knew, knew. So what is it about us in our 40s and 50s that we have to know, know, know exactly what we're going to be doing for the next 10, 20, 30 years? Why do we get more scared than we did when we were 20? Is it because you feel you won't bounce back? Like when you're 20 you can bounce back. But you know what, you really weren't even thinking that when you were 20. You didn't say to yourself, oh, I can try this, I got the rest of my life. No, you were probably scraping by, you know, and eating your top ramen and living in your cheap apartment with all of your friends and you weren't thinking about, you know, I could try anything I want. You were, you were also stressing. So, so I'm pointing out there is no need to know what's happening in the next 10, 20 years. Now for some reason, if you never really had to know before and if you feel that way, look at your fear. Why is fear saying that to you? What do you fear will happen if you don't know, right? And some of us go into complete loss, right? We go into complete lack thinking at that point. Well, I won't have my retirement and I won't have my house paid off and I won't have, and I won't have, and I won't have. It's like, when did all of this build up inside of you to make you get to this point of complete freaking out, melting down, anxiety? Like how did that happen over time? What was it, a gradual buildup of disappointments? Well, let it go and be gentle with yourself because you see, you don't really have a choice if you keep feeling that way, you will co create that and you will spin yourself further and deeper into it. And we all have friends who are the most negative people and they don't know how they're going to survive. And it's just one thing after another. We look at them and we go, oh God. There for the grace of God go I. So don't be gentle on yourself. I think life will give me something in the next 10 years. I think I might meet my forever Partner. I think I might be financially secure when I retire. I think I might discover something that lights me up inside and gives me tremendous purpose in this world. I think I might find the perfect house that I want to live in for the rest of my life. Right? All of these things you could be saying to yourself instead of all the things that you've been saying. So be gentle. The next thing I would ask you to do, and this again comes from an energy perspective, is be curious. Be curious. What I'm doing right now is I'm offering you key emotional states that you can use inside of flow, inside yourself to emotionally recondition yourself. Basically, I'm teaching, giving you an exercise program for your emotions so that the midlife crisis emotions that you are experiencing or might be experiencing don't crush you, right? You want to weather this phase. It is a phase. It is a phase. It will leave. It will go away. You will exit the other end. It's like a dark tunnel through the mountain. There is another side to this because millions of people have been through it. You will too. So here's what you do when you're in the dark. The dark tunnels are the mountains, right? You get curious. What does curious mean? Curious means I really just don't know. I don't know how this will be resolved. I don't know what will happen if I try this, this thing again that failed before. I don't know. And I'm very curious to see what it will be like if, you know, I decide to move to a little happier, peppier part of the city. I'm curious. Curious what life still has for me. And so when you get into a state of curiosity, it means that you can't be in a state of dread, right? You can't. You're not having both emotional states here. You're picking one over the other. You're prioritizing. So one, be gentle. Two, get curious. Three, get in there and do your flow dreaming. I am not kidding you, right? I should always be number one, but I always leave it to the last because it's like the finale, doing your flow dreaming. What does that mean? Well, I have a couple of flow dreams. Wondrous change in transition and getting through, you know, looking forward to changes in your life. I created those for myself years ago because I realized that I would start to brace for change. I was looking at anytime something changed, I was like, oh, God, now what? Oh, no. Oh, no. And I thought, oh, boy, that is the way. Wrong way to be approaching this. What if instead I'm like, oh, wow. What if everything changes for the better? What if this is exactly what needs to adjust for the best thing to come in? What if it's finally here? What if the great wonderful change is finally here upon me? And that's the kind of flow dream that you can use in this phase of your life. You're setting yourself up with positive expectations, positive feelings. And then as you set yourself up with these and you start to like, do it and you churn out this feeling state, even if you're churning it out for 15 minutes a day, imagine at the end of the week you have several hours of these intense, good, high end expectations for yourself and your future. What if I find something that lights me up, that I feel so excited doing that I'm like, oh my God, it took me 45 years to find this and I finally did. Oh my God, where have you been all my life? Right? These are the feelings that you can be creating right now. You can be pouring hours of these feelings into your flow and into your energy system every week. When you pour it in, it's like pouring sugar into a pie. You know, if you don't pour the sugar in the pie, it's going to taste kind of ugh. But you pour these feelings in and you end up with something beautiful and yummy and delicious instead of what we often end up doing instead, which is, I'm only going to experience the yucky feelings. I'm only going to experience the dread and the lack and the fear and the positioning and the bracing and the getting ready. And then maybe I'm going to take some drugs for it all too, because dang, it's hard to keep feeling all these feelings. So I'll take some drugs to just try and turn them off completely. Why not add in actual positive feeling? Because if you're waiting for another five years to go by before your life starts to give you reasons to have positive feeling, then you're again, that's what I mean. You don't really have a choice. I mean, for me, that's not a choice. I'm not going to wait five years for life to give me positive feelings till I'm out the other side of this crisis. And I don't know how long these last, by the way. Two months? Five months? Five years? I don't know. I think it's all very individual. But I do know that as long as this dark tunnel is lasting, I'm going to choose to continue to pour more sugar in, not less, because that's the only way that I can mitigate it, that's the only way that I can defend myself against it, to counterweight it. That's it. That's the right word. That's the only way to counterweight this. And if I find myself saying, oh, I don't even want a flow dream, I apathy, apathy, I remind myself there, you know, you gotta eat and you gotta flow, right? You eat for your body and you flow for your mind and your heart. If you don't do one, you're gonna be in a crippled state of being. So flow. It's easy. It's easy, easy, easy, easy to do. Now, what happens when you start doing this? Well, you may still be feeling those sense of being on autopilot or feeling loss or having that short patience or feeling that kind of, you know, itchy needing to just go out and do something new and, you know, buy a new car and take that weird trip you always wanted. You know, that inner sense of pushy fulfillment like, I need, I need. You may still feel all of these things, but you're also feeling good stuff too. And now your flow is getting choices, what it wants to react to inside of you. If you're only giving it one set of bad emotions to react to, it can only set things up to match those bad emotions. But if you're giving it a set of good emotions, it can match too. It can start setting things up like, boy, she's feeling really antsy and bored in her life. You know what? We need to get her set up with some Red Cross volunteering because that is going to do it for her. We need to get her set up with taking that service dog home and discovering that she's an amazing trainer for service dogs. We need to get her set up with going to that art class because she's going to realize that she's been a frustrated artist the first 50 years of her life, and it's. Everything is going to change because she's now giving me good feelings. We will find the thing to match this feeling. And the thing that matches is going to be a now thing, a today thing, not a past thing, not a future thing. It is now. It is addressing who you are and what you need inside of you right now, what you need outside of you to bring into your life, to lift you in, to match those feelings that you're creating for yourself. So the last thing I want to say about midlife crises before we go to some. Some calls and flow dreams is this. Maybe it's happening to you. Earlier than 40, 50. Maybe it's happening to you in your mid-30s. Maybe it's catching up to you in your 60s. Don't get hung up on the age thing, right? These are pivot points that we hit in life, all through life, and they are not on any schedule that we can all look up and agree on. All of our experiences are so individual. So please keep that in mind. And if you like this, by the way, if you enjoyed this topic, send me a little note on Facebook. I would love to know what rings home with you. You can either join my I Love Flow Dreaming group or you can come to the Inflow Radio group page and post there. Okay, quickie, quickie break. And then. Oh my gosh, my call board is excited exploding. I'm gonna get to talk to some of you right after this.

While we're on break, have you checked out MI School? In MI School, we travel together through a year, through everything that you are. You get to discover what drives you, how you're made, and how powerful you are actually are. We play with intuition and Flow Dreaming and dozens of other techniques as you go through one of the most potent, powerful and pleasurable personal development experiences you've ever seen. We continually co create your future and I ask you to bring big goals to the table. Things that you want to become inside yourself. And you'll reach these using the tools that you've probably never been exposed to.

Before in your life.

But you will be here in MI School. So if you're curious, go to flowdreaming.com.

And click on MI School. Set up a call and we'll help.

You see exactly what you can do with your life. And if you choose to come join.

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Forward to forward to spending the next year with you as we work together to create miracles. In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the U.S. number, 1-760-456-7277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays, so check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast time. Again, reach me me at 1-760-456-7277. Now let's get back to the show.

Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. Let's jump right into some calls and see if we can't debug your midlife crisis. If that's in fact what's going on. Let's go ahead and start with Maria. Maria, Maria. Are you calling from la? Is that what I'm seeing?

Hi, Summer. I used to listen to you. Since 2001. I have a few collection. A good collection of the Flow. Dreaming.

Wow.

And when I used it, it worked.

Oh, good. I love it.

Especially the Prosperity Challenge. I found money on the floor. Hundreds of dollars. So I'm in a place right now that I'm prompted to knock on that door again to listen to my beloved Prosperity Challenge collection. But, yes, it works. And I am calling you to help me get a little clarity and whatever is that the flow can tell me about a relationship that is on and off is what I thought this will be, is to me, to my heart, the forever relationship and the man I love so dearly.

Mm. Okay, so you're having. By the way, how old are you? Are you having a midlife crisis? Or are you in the danger zone? Age group.

Check, check, check, check.

Okay. Yes. Just had to ask. Just had to. Okay. This relationship that you're. That you. Are you currently in, it. Is it. Is it. Is it going through some hard times?

Yeah. Going through some hard time. Yes. We have reconnected. We fall apart again.

We.

Yeah.

We want to stay together, but so.

Okay. And this is not a marriage. This is just a relationship, right?

Yes.

Okay. Can you give me his first name?

George.

George. George. George. Okay, George, George. George. I'm going to ask you about Maria. George, Maria. George, Maria. I feel like you guys can get explosive or very temperamental. Or maybe he can. Or maybe he's a silent temper kind of person.

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I just like. It's like a cartoon where the guy's face gets all red and steamy inside.

Yes.

Yes. Yeah. Okay, I have him. So what happens is you guys just provoke each other into these, like, kind of like inner explosions. And for him, it's more of an inner thing, you know? For you, it's just like, oh, here we go again. You're more expressive about it. And I feel like it's. Whenever you guys are navigating to the next step, like, you're making real, real plans. That's where this starts to happen. And so then you shy away from making real, real plans with each other. And by real, real plans, it's like, are we gonna live together? Do you wanna be. Are we together, together? Are we going to. What are. Where are we gonna go together in our future? So whenever you get to these moments where you're making a big decision, that's where things kind of hit a rocky place and then you fall back, and then you have to start over again and get to that big decision point place again.

Correct?

Yeah. Okay. So it's like a pattern, right? You're. And then, of course, it's the question of, should I be with you? And why can't we just. Why does it get hard? At this point, it's easy, and then it becomes too difficult. So maybe we just shouldn't. You know, I think what I would say, what I'm going to say to George, too, is you guys just need to be very easy with one another for a while, right? You don't have to make the big plans. You don't have to make the, are we going to move in? Are we going to get married? Are we going to do this? Are we going to do that? Make plans that are, first of all, continuous. No dropping out of sight for two months, but make them be easy on you. Nothing hard to shoulder. Like, we meet every weekend and we have a movie or we have coffee or we have something. We see each other about once a week. And we just get used to that rhythm, right? I'm trying to figure out what would it take to create a kind of normalcy so you stop reaching these peak points of pushing.

That was the plan. And it worked up to a point that it didn't, because. So you picked up correctly. My question is, is this going to get better? Continue, or where are we going?

Yes, yes, yes. Good question. Then, okay, because. Okay, so I'm seeing what you're like, and I'm seeing what you're trying. Or what I would. Maybe I'm reading that from you. So beyond that, you know, it's really kind of clouded because he doesn't want to get to that point of being super angry anymore, which is why he just feels like dropping the whole thing. So you have to come up with a way that you get your needs met. Because your needs are. You want to feel secure, right? And there's certain things that come with making you feel secure. Like this relationship is secure. I can count on it. It's not going anywhere. And that means more from him. But on the other hand, you know, when you guys get to that point of making those bigger commitments, he gets a little upset or unsure or unclear. It's not unsure. It's more like you guys trigger this conflict in each other. So, Maria, you know what? I'm not exactly sure what you should do with this fellow. I wish I could say more. I feel like. I feel like one just knowing that you have a pattern that continues. Maybe the next time this pattern pops up, instead of going into it and letting the whole thing explode again, you just go, oh, we do this all the time. Did you notice this? This is what we do. And I'm not exploding this time. I'm just being at ease with it. And we will just back off a little bit and see if we can avoid the explosion and then see what happens. Right. It's like making these little turns, little adjustments. That's probably what I would do. Right, my dear? I mean, George seems like a good guy, but he just. He's, you know, he does bottle up stuff until he gets to. And then he just. He's quiet and gone and done, you know?

Is there a hope that we gonna reconcile for good?

Let's see. Let me ask him one last thing and then I gotta let you go. Let's see. George, George, George. Yes. Are you gonna reconcile for good with her? Are you gonna come back and try it again? Oh, he's kind of like an old dog, you know, he just keeps coming home for dinner. You know, he may go out and wander, but there's a good chance you'll see him again. You know, he's used to you. He's used to you. And he's not thinking through so much. What's the big end picture? He's just more reacting in the moment to what's going on. So I think there is. I do think you're gonna see him again for sure. It's just a question of how are you going to handle that next peak point when you just get to each other. That's got to be what changes right there at that moment. Okay.

You're awesome, right?

You're awesome, too. Thank you, Maria. Good luck to you both. He seems like a good guy. Okay. Bye, my dear.

Bye.

Bye. Oh, all right. Well, let's see. How about Diane? Hey, Diane. How are you? Are you Chicago? Diane from Chicago.

I'm here.

Hello. You're on air. How are you?

Oh, awesome. Yes.

Summer, it is so good to talk to you again.

Oh, good. You have been a student of mine.

Yes, I have been. I was a diamond.

Oh. Oh, okay. Excellent. Oh, good, good, good, good. Wonderful. Sometimes people don't always give me their true names or whatever, so I'm always trying to identify by voice. Yep.

Diane from Chicago, former diamond student.

I know you. Tell me where you're at.

I know you know me.

What's up?

Well, my darling, well, since we're on air, I'm going through a midlife crisis. You described it perfectly. I'm 51.

Yeah.

I am going through a divorce. My court date is next week. My anniversary is today. 25 years of marriage. So it's kind of a rough day. And yeah, just, you know, my intuition says, hey, let's see if summer's on air. And lo and behold, here you are. Here I am, meant to be. So I was wondering what was next for me and there's somebody that I'm crushing on too, Summer. So I wanted.

How is your daughter? Is she good? She all good? Yes. Good. Yeah. Okay, so you're wondering what is next, where you are? Just so. Okay, you know how I said in that list resilient? And it's funny because you and I, I know we've talked a lot about burnout in various ways, but you actually are very resilient. You know, you. I don't know if you realize how much bounce backedness that you have, but you do. And looking at you, that's the very first thing I see. It's like you're cutting ties, you're cutting loose, you're cutting the marriage, which served you for a long time. And then you outgrew things and you decided, I don't want to babysit. Right. I just don't want to babysit.

Oh, that is such a good way of describing that.

Yes. Sorry, that's what I heard. Okay. You know, that's not the latter half of my life, so. What is the latter half? I see you actually traveling. I see you speaking and talking with people, speaking to groups, national groups. I see you being very much out in the world, on the move. I think that, you know, as you, I don't know if you've even thought about this, but you, you will have the opportunity to really get out there and travel around and maybe some of this is just traveling with family, but it's sort of like this reinvention that you experience is going to be very much involved with who am I in the world. I as an individual, myself, not part of a bigger unit. Me personally, it's very eye opening. It's exciting, I gotta say. Yeah. So I'm gonna give you a little love here and a little good boost. And you have been very brave. All of the changes you've made in the last few years, very brave. But you're making them because you do have a deep inner knowing that there is a second half. It's kind of like intermission during the play. You've got a whole nother long second half. You better make it interesting. Don't let the audience fall asleep. Okay, You've got all of this ahead of you. What is going to be in it? It's going to be a very different texture and taste and tone than the first part. I see a lot of personal reward, though. Okay. All right, my dear, I gotta let you go. My producer just told me I'm almost at the end of my show. I did not realize this, so I will let you go. But I wish you well and thank you. Thank you. Okay.

You're welcome. You're welcome, Summer. And thank you for everything. You're amazing. For those of you who are out there, connect with this woman and stay with this woman. She's so, so good.

You guys are got it to Love Fest today. All right. Bye, Diane.

Bye.

And to my. To my other callers who are on hold, Sarah, Ann. Sarah and Ann, I'm very sorry. Oh, I was. Oh, I thought I'd get to everybody and of course I didn't because my topic ended up being a longy. Please try me again next week, though. I would love to talk with you and hopefully I can still solve your problem or help you or you can just contribute whatever you feel like. But please, please, please do try again. And that's it for me. It's a wrap for the week. Love all of you. And just go get yourself out of that midlife CR right now. Go do some Flow Dreaming. Take care.

Hey, everyone. Thanks for listening today. One request before you go, Please rate this podcast either in itunes or tunein.com or wherever you listen to it.

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Do, but your rating there is the number one way that other people discover this show. And the more ratings, the more people who will find and get turned on to Flow Dreaming. While you're there, you might also want to download my free Flow Dreaming podcast app. With this app, you can listen to the show anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search through listings of all of my episodes and bookmark your favorites. And if you want to listen to Flow Dreams, actual Flow Dreams on your phone, there's even another app. It's my player app and it will let you browse and sample Flow Dreams from the shop. There is even an oracle inside of that app to help you see and discover what you need need to know most or what Flow Dream would be best for you in your life.

Right now.

You can find these apps on itunes or in Google or your Amazon app store. And again, thank you so, so, so much for giving back. Love you.

Bye. Bye.