#573: How to Get More Clients

It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope.

And joy and relief.

And that is what being aware of your flow does.

It gives you a feeling of power.

Again in your lives.

Breathe.

I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming.

Foreign. Hello, my darlings. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. We get to spend about an hour together today looking into our businesses and our clients and how you make and how you build things. So welcome to episode number 573, how to get more clients. So we're going to dive into this topic, of course, from the energy perspective, emotion perspective, not so much from the, you know, do this, do that, have a, have a summit, go door to door, call people. That's all practical, regular business stuff. You can pick that stuff up everywhere. But how do you get more clients starting from the non physical? How do you prep the energies? How do you sort of, sort of prep your life to generate that for you? And it's a very salient topic for me right now because I'm in the midst of populating a whole network with hosts and listeners, and that means everyone is my client, essentially, because if you're a listener, you're a client. If you're a host, you're a client. So this energy of Build, Expand, Grow, Share. Build, Expand, Grow, Share is everywhere. And I think that's why I decided to sort of drop into this for you guys today. As you know, Flow Dreaming is my baby. It's my business that I started, oh, I don't know, 14, 15 years ago at this point. This network that I'm airing on right now, Inflow Radio, is my newest child, right? It's kind of like having a teenager in the house and having a brand new baby. That's how I feel. But in both instances, I've had to go through the pangs of birth and the monitoring and the figuring out and the changing tax, etc. Prior to that, many of you know that I worked in corporate for 10 years. I worked for a publishing company called Hay House. And that is where I also was in the line of work of having to build something. Right. I started building book covers and products for people and then I branched out into helping them build their programs and then to build their audio programs and their webinars and eventually into their radio shows again. I had to get clients and they were audience, they were again, listeners. So I've been through this routine many Many, many, many times is what I'm getting at. Not my first rodeo, as you would say. So I'm going to share with you today some of the things that I do when I recognize I'm going into this very generative state. Generative meaning growth, oriented, reaching out, receiving in. There's a particular, how do I say, swirl of energy around it that once you learn to recognize and touch, you can just dive right into. If you haven't recognized it and touched it, you kind of feel like you're sitting in the bleachers watching the game and wondering, how do I get there? I don't feel it. I'm not feeling it. How do I get there? Just being able to have the discernment between what energy you're actually in is a big part of this. So if you do want to practice flow dreaming around this, if you do want to practice any kind of energy work, I do have a recommendation right off the bat. I do have a suite of flow dreams that I have recorded and you can find those at the shop@flowdreaming.com or there is a nifty app. I have a couple of apps, first of all. So if you, if you go on your phone, your mobile device, you're going to find an app that lets you listen to all of the old podcasts of this show, and you'll find another app that lets you browse and look through every flow dream I've ever recorded. These are professional, beautifully produced, around 150 of them. And the playlist that I'm going to recommend for you is called My Hugely Successful Business. My Hugely Successful Business. And I've grouped together a number of flow dreams that will help you grow your business, have it thrive, have clients come in the door, have you show up feeling excited, not burned out. So that's just a little side comment for that. Okay, so getting back to the topic again. How do I get more clients? What have I done? What do I do? Well, first of all, as I already mentioned, everybody in the world is a client to me because everybody in the world is someone that I can potentially serve, period. Right? I have something to give. Every single person out there could potentially receive it from me. So I want you to start by sort of blurring the lines between who's my ideal client and what's the widget that I'm selling, or, or, you know, that I need this person to come and, you know, do this service with me. Just pull back, you have something you give. Okay, I'm going to just assume that you have something you give, a service, a talent, something physical that people can purchase from you. It's something you give, right? It's something that you invest yourself in that represents you, that you represent, that you feel the world should have. Right. Be exposed to, even just be offered. Right? It's kind of generous to offer somebody an opportunity, a chance, a thing. Somehow, though, in our world, this all gets turned around in our heads and we forget the generosity aspect of giving, of ourselves and we start to feel weird, like, no, I'm taking. I'm taking. I'm a taker and I'm taking. If I get you to buy this, if I get you to listen to this, if I get you to walk in the door, I'm taking something from you. Like, just stop right, for a second here. What is that? Where did that come from? Where did you go from being a giver to being a taker? And where did you pick that up? You know, it's like picking up a bad habit or, you know, a case of the measles or something. What, what, where did you get that from? That's not naturally who you are. The only time you would feel like that is if you really don't have faith or confidence in what you're giving. Faith or confidence in you. If you don't have faith or confidence in you, then you end up being a taker because you're not really giving. Get where I'm going here. There's a mighty element of self love involved. Isn't that the basis of everything? Like, I could just do show after show after show and it all come back down to self love in the end. Like, here's another way it plays out, by the way, if you're somebody, you're like, I'm not in sales, I'm not in. I don't have services. I'm retired. Summer, the show's not for me. Well, you know what? It may not be for you today. You may not be in any business where you offer services or exchanges with other people, but really, realistically, you know, 90% parents, you're in the business of having your kids as clients because you are giving to them. You are offering to them, and they want you want them to receive from you, right? You're not taking from your kids. You're giving to your kids. Technically, they're your client. Like, really broaden your mind here. So first of all, we are looking at you now as not a taker, but a giver. And you're a giver because who you are and what you are. Is really important. It's vital. And if me saying that you're. You're subtly kind of rejecting what I just said because just like, oh, no, I'm not that vital. I'm just like, I can, you know, anybody can do what I do. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I want you to notice where those feelings come from, because those feelings are defining you right now, and they are literally cutting off the flow of people in your life that you could be helping. So sometimes I refer to this as getting in your own way. Don't get in your own way. But that's. That's really what it feels like. I'm going to stand in my own way. So, givers, what do you have to give? You know what that thing is? Awesome. You don't know what that thing is. Fine, let's go find it. You either know or you're in the state of finding. And all of us who've given our whole lives, we know that you give and give and give, and then you find, find, find, find, and then you give, give, give that new thing that you found, and on and on and on it goes. So this idea that there's only one thing you can do or be or know how to do or are good at giving, again, throw it out. There are many things you know how to do, be, or give. And if you're not in the constant state of finding the next one, then you got stuck somewhere on those train tracks. That train is not moving. So be gentle with yourself when it comes to I don't know what I'm giving. Great. You're finding what you're giving, and then you're going to go back into giving it and you're going to do some more finding, you said. But Summer, I've been stuck. I've been looking to figure out what I can give for 20 years. You've been giving a lot for 20 years. Go back and revise. I bet you gave a lot of love to people. I bet you gave a lot of time to people. I bet you gave a lot of attention to situations. Maybe even if you're a worrier and they go around in your head, you've given that. You've been judgy with yourself. That's the biggest problem. You've been judgy with yourself and you're not appreciating what you've given. So the people that you're giving to, right, let's call them your clients for the sake of this, because this is going to be a more business Oriented hour for us. When I'm looking for clients, when I am looking for people I can give to, I'm really looking for a match, right? I'm looking for people who are looking for me, right? We're looking for each other. It's always mutual. If you think that you are strong enough that you can overpower people's wills, make them take things from you, buy things from you, do things with you, you're sorely mistaken. And I don't know why we're all so afraid of that. I mean, I really don't know many people who are that powerfully, you know, manipulatively full of charisma that they can do that. There are people like that, yes, but not the majority of us. It's something we don't even have to worry about. Most of us fall on the opposite extreme. We have something amazing and we can't even step up and like express what it is and share what it is. You know, we're fully on the other side. So today, let's think about getting you kind of right in the middle, right in that sweet spot. I've got something amazing. My clients out there are looking for that amazing thing. What makes me amazing at what I do. So this for me was a process of self discovery over the years and with all the different things I've done, I've discovered different amazing parts to myself, right? I mean, that's a good thing. That's what I want you to do. Find these different amazing parts that apply to whatever particular career you're working on. So going way, way back, I discovered I was pretty amazing as a designer, right? I could see how things fit together. I was pretty amazing as a writer, as an editor, I seemed to have that whole design, write, product creation. You know, I just like that, like a collection of skills that went together. I didn't know that when I started out, I discovered that. How did I discover that? Because I had clients who asked me for it. You can always trust other people to see in you the talents that you yourself don't know you have. I'm going to repeat that. You can always trust other people to see in you the talents that you don't know you yourself have yet. In other words, give yourself credit for what other people say that you can do. People started asking me at a young age, hey, would you look at my writing? Would you look at my work? I began editing my mother's books when I was a teenager. And my grandmother, she had a small publishing house. Turned out I was good. They Kept asking me, and then they said, oh, could you lay out this book for me? Can you use that PageMaker thingy? Majiggy, that computer that. I've got it. We've got an apple old 2e. Can you. Can you. Can you do this desktop publishing thing? I said, sure. I didn't know if I could do this stuff or not, but I turned it out. And people said that was good. And so slowly I learned what I was good at by respecting the views and understandings of what other people appreciated in me and saw in me. See where I'm going with this? Later, as I was starting to build products and build audiences and build shows, build networks, build studios, I recognize people see in me an ability to organize projects, right? To take this creative, like, you know, puff and draw, like, creative craziness and draw it together into something distilled and clear, something that works, something that grows. I'm like, I'm good at that. And people kept handing me opportunities to do that. Makes sense. So I discovered, oh, this is something else that I can do that people want from me. I allowed the power of other people to show me my own self because I respect and valued the opinion of my clients. I'm not saying to define yourself by other people. That would be a misunderstanding of this. It's more nuanced than that. It actually means, so respect other people that if they ask you for something, it's because they have this incredible innate intelligence in them of knowing what you actually are great at and can offer to them, give it to them. And I've been surprised many times to find myself giving things to people and clients that I had no intention of giving, that I had no idea was even in me to give. They saw it in me and they said, more, please. And I said, oh, you like that? Really? That that's important to you? Case in point, flow dreaming. Ah. It was always a private thing. A little thing I did for myself was just the way that I co created, made stuff, shaped my life. It was a way that I emotionally regulated my mind, pulled myself out of anxiety, and I shared it with a few people, and they said, more, please. And I said, wow, I really respect you. That means this is a thing, huh? And they're like, yeah, this is a thing. More. Give us more, please. Said, all right, well, I'll record some CDs and do a podcast and do a live radio show. And they said, great. More, please. Okay, I'll write some. Write some books about what I'm actually doing and what you're Learning to do great. More, please. Okay, I'll build a website for you. More, please. All right. I'll do some personal sessions with you. You see, it was the more please of what others were asking me that was guiding me, even more than what I was trying to dream up or think that other people wanted. If you do that, then you can end up feeling like I'm shoving stuff at people. I don't know if they want it or not. This is what I want to do. I'm going to shove it at them, and hopefully somebody will pick it up and recognize its brilliance. It's a different perspective than following what people are asking for. Eventually, I realized that a lot of people just wanted to work one on one with me, really wanted that. They wanted to see what I would see about them because I was seeing stuff that they couldn't. And I said, well, I guess I'm reading your flow. I'm reading your life. You know, I'm empathically connected, and that's what we're doing. And so I began working more and more one on one with people. And that's how I discovered that I was pretty all right at teaching. And when I discovered I was pretty all right at teaching, teaching, sharing, guiding, directing, commonly called coaching nowadays, never even occurred to me to go to a coaching school or all these big programs that they've built up around it now. Never occurred to me. People said, I want more of this. And eventually I found myself saying, I don't have enough time in my week to fulfill everybody's request for me. Okay, check it out. This could sound very egotistical, or it could sound like I am valuing and recognizing my audiences, my customers, my clients, the people I serve. I am recognizing their innate intelligence to see something that they know will work for them. I'm flipping it. I'm honoring them. And in so doing, I'm discovering something about myself which propels me and gives me the confidence and faith to go on to the next level. So how do I get clients? I show up and I. And I let them tell me what they need. I let them tell me what I'm good at. And then I give more of that. And if I like it, I give more and more of it. If I don't really like it, then I do less and less of it. Just because somebody sees stuff in you that you can do that you're great at, doesn't mean you have to do it. I decided I didn't want to be an editor after all. Good at it. Really good. At it, didn't want to be it. I stopped, moved into something else. So that's like the biggest thing I want to gift you with in terms of swapping your perspective, right? Swapping your mindset. Now, when you go out and you have something to give people, what you're really asking them is to say, what do you see in me that you like that will work for you, that makes a match for us? Now you see how all the pressure is off me. The pressure's off me, and the pressure should definitely be off you, because I'm not forcing myself on someone. I'm not saying, look at me, look at me, I'm so great, look at me. I'm going to convince you. I don't have to do that. I'm trusting the other person to see for themselves and tell me. Or a match. We're a match. That's the basis of my feeling state every single day when I'm growing anything. So, for instance, if I'm growing listeners for this network, clients, quote unquote, of the network, what I'm suggesting or saying out there energetically is, and this is something I would do, I do do. I go into flow and I can feel, mm, I love this thing that we're making. This is a community. This is a media company here, right? It's not just a network. It's not just an online, you know, station. This is a media company. I've already expanded it in my heart, in my soul, in my universe, to take up a lot greater space. I've created, like, you know, the boundaries for it are hundreds of miles wide, even though right now it only might be a mile wide. I'm like, it'll grow to fill the space that I've created for it, my feelings around it. So I begin offering it, giving it. Who wants this? Who wants this? Who wants this? Who wants this? My only job at this point is to make sure as many people see it as possible so that they can judge for themselves whether they want it or not. Again, I'm not convincing. I'm not forcing. I'm not saying, please me, please, please, no. My job is to simply give it as much exposure, give as many people opportunities to see this as I possibly can. Again, that's coming from a generous perspective. I want to give people opportunities. A lot of them are going to say, nah, I don't like it. Nah, it's not for me. Nah, not my thing. So be it. That's okay. It's not meant for them. Not now, Maybe not ever. Maybe in A year, maybe. Who knows? That's fine. See, I'm not. I'm not chasing after the people who don't match me. What an absolute waste of time. But I am creating as much exposure as I can so that the people who do sit up and say, I like this. This is what I need. Please give me more. I've been looking for you. I've been looking for you. That in itself is a flow, dreamable magic phrase. I was reminded this morning I was working with a client, we did a VIP together, which is like a two and a half hour session, and I was reminded of my magic phrases, and that's one of them. I've been looking for you. If I go into flow and I generate that feeling around whatever my offer is, and I feel someone saying to me, or many people saying to me, I've been looking for you. Like, just drop into that emotion with me for a second. I've been looking for you. Like, that's what you'd say to someone that you're falling in love with, right? That's what you'd say to someone who's fulfilling some perfect wish or desire in you. I've been looking for you. You're it. And now all I have to do is open up and give, right? Great. I'm going to give. I'm going to give. Great. You've been looking for me. I've been looking for you. Let's do this thing. That's the energy that I want to receive from every single person that I work with or that I touch, you know, even through this podcast or through this live show. I've been looking for you. I've been looking for you. So building clients starts from your energy space. You can do a wonderful little test of contrast right now. Think about how you've been thinking of your clients in the last week. Has your mind, has your feeling self been more like, God, I hope somebody calls me. Goodness. I hope somebody wants to work with me. Oh, you know, I've talked to so many people and nobody wants me. And nobody wants what I have. And this thing, they're not buying, buying from me. And nobody's placing orders and. And no one's listing with me. And no one's. Oh, gosh, no one's. I'm not so hard. Nobody wants what I offer. You've just made it all about you. Or you've been making it all about you. It's not all about you. That's. That's if. Oh, you know what I want? No. What I give. No. One wants me, me, me, me, me. As opposed to. I keep offering. My job is to make exposure, Exposure, exposure. What does exposure mean? Well, you know, for something like growing a radio network, exposure means generating a lot of interest, right? Generating word of mouth, you know, asking you, hey, could you tell somebody about this show? Could you tell somebody about Inflow Radio? Could you tell somebody about, you know, the flow Dreaming App exposure means maybe going out there and, you know, getting some Facebook ads going, reaching people where they're at. Getting some YouTube ads going, where are you? Check this out. I want to show you something. Exposure, exposure, exposure, exposure. That's my job. Your job is to decide whether what you're being exposed to is something that you have been looking for. I've been looking for you. I've been waiting for for you. That's your job. So this is the energy you should come at every single client relationship with, period. Go for the exposure. Recognize the innate intellig intelligence of other people to see and value in you what you have to offer. You don't need to ever do any convincing. Got that? Do not ever do any convincing. The minute you start trying to convince, that's the energy of overpowering. That's the energy of you saying, I don't really trust your feelings about me, so I'm going to convince you. Here's how I need and want you to feel about me instead. Now you're dishonoring that other person. No convincing ever. And now it's kind of weird, huh? If I did like a weekend sales training, it would be completely different than anything you've ever heard before. But it works. You know, millions of dollars later, millions of downloads later, three big companies later, this works. It works for me. And I assume it works for me, it's going to work for other people too. I think it's one of the reasons too, that so many people who enter Flow Dreaming stay for a long, long, long time. I talk with people every single week who say, I started listening to you back in 2005. I started listening to you with Dr. Wayne Dyer when you guys had your show together. You know, people scratch their heads. How did you get in that? These positions. Summer Louise Hay is your boss and you're on there with Wayne Dyer, and you work with Doreen and Abraham Hicks. Like, how did you ever get picked for all that? And again, I never convinced anybody. I honored what they saw in me and said, I'm going to live up to that. Okay, Imagine that dynamic. I'm going to live up to that. What you see in me, I believe, and I'm gonna live up to that. And then I'm gonna live up even more. I'm gonna go even bigger in myself. My job is not to be small, but to believe what you see in me and take it to the next level. Oh, now that's a true business builder, right? That's a true person in service. That's a person who can say, I can grow as big of a company as I want, because it's not about how big the company grows. It's really about how much exposure and how much service and how much am I gonna let people push me into the next level of my own development? And I mean push in a. In the best possible manner, because I want to step up. I feel a prerogative, a moral obligation, if you will, to step up. And whenever I get tired and burned out and worn out, what I say is, okay, I've really pushed myself to step up a lot. It's okay, Summer, give yourself a break. Chill out for a while. You've done a good job. Keep the give, but don't over give, because then you're gonna burn out. So I'm gonna leave you with that thought for a minute. And then when we come back, gosh, I'd sure love to hear from some of you guys the number to call the show live. And I know some of you guys are still getting used to my new show time, by the way, Tuesdays, 1pm Pacific, 4pm Eastern, which is generally around 8 or 9pm in the UK and it's absurdly early in Australia. I'm sorry, guys, but really, it's like 6am or something in Australia, at least most months of the year. You know, time changes and all that changes things. So for those of you who did realize that I switched, you can call in because you're there. And the number to call is US number 1760456, 7277. Also, you'll notice if you're listening live on Inflow Radio, there's a little button down at the bottom of your screen, and that button says you can call via the web. So calling being the web means if you're in another country, for instance, and you don't want to dial a US number, you can just press that button and it will instantly connect you to RStudio. Caveat. It only works on desktops. It does not work on your mobile devices. And I'd love to get that fixed, believe me, but it's out of my hands. It's another company that provides that to us. But if you're listening on a desktop, which means, you know, laptop, PC, whatever, you can use that web call button and it's pretty darn cool. So think about giving me a call. I'd love to help you with your business. Look into you, look into your clients, look into where you're stuck, look into what's not working, where that cash flow is, all of that. I'd love some demonstratable, demonstratable, demonstrable. Some people I can demonstrate on as we go forward. And of course, we will be doing a flow dream around all of this too. So stay with me and we'll be back right after this.

While we're on break.

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But you will be here in MI School. So if you're curious, go to flowdreaming.com.

And click on MI School. Set up a call and we'll help you see exactly what you can do with your life. And if you choose to come join me in MI School, then I look.

Forward to spending the next year with you as we work together to create miracles. In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the US number 1764, 5 6, 7277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays. So check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast time again. Reach me at 1-760-456-7277. Now let's get back to the show.

Welcome back everyone. How are you guys doing out there today? It is a quiet day, all right. A quiet day in the mid summer heat and doldrums. Boy, I thought. I thought today's topic would get you guys all fired up. And I know, I know it might be because I hear from you. You post on Facebook all the time. A lot of you guys really loved our show last week about the haters and hating and negative emotions, et cetera. So I love to hear from you there, but I love to hear from you on air too. So go ahead and give me a call if you want a little help with your business or creating from that energetic emotional side of things. So while I let you guys get up and call screened and in, let me share a little something else with you about, you know, how I really have worked to reach out and create exposure for what I do. I mentioned earlier getting over yourself, right? That seems to be the biggest thing that, that I encounter with my clients, especially my one on one students and frankly a lot of all students really, my me school students, everybody is this feeling of I don't think I'm good enough, I think someone else is better. I don't think I would feel awkward presenting myself. I would feel awkward asking for people to consider me. It's very self protectionistic to engage in that kind of thinking. You want clients, but you want to protect yourself more than you want clients because you're afraid. What if I'm rejected? What if they don't like me? What if what I do isn't any good? What if, what if, what if? I mean, you guys, you could write up like a whole list of this what if stuff, but it's really, it's all about you. Your navel gazing. You've made yourself way more important than your client at this point. So I strive as much as I can to rid myself of that emotion. Because as long as I feel like that maybe I'm not good enough, maybe someone else is better. Oh, they don't want to hear from me. Oh, I'm bugging them. As long as I feel that, then I'm going to hold back what I have to give. I'm holding it back and I'm not giving it out, I'm claiming it to myself. And this comes out in very practical and obvious ways. Like, you know, I was counseling one of my students last week. You need to go in there and ask them to take a look at your products. Like these people buy for these stores, right? In this case, you know, she has something that shops, you know, would purchase from her and then resell in their shops. So you have something that they have been looking for, but you're not even giving the opportunity to them because you're afraid that they'll say no or you're bothering them. I'm like, this is their job to find great stuff. You're not even helping them do their job because you're in the way. What about those of you who are a coach and you're like, I really want to help people I want to help people. Well, if you selfishly want to help people, then you're going to beg for people. Let me help you. Let me help you. Please, please pick me. Pick me. I want to be. It's all about me. Or you're just going to stand up and say, no, I'm going to reach and talk to everybody and say, I'm available. You can have me. I'm opening my time for you. I'm opening my genius for you. I'm opening up my skills for you. I love you to make your own choice around this, but I want to make sure you see this. I want to make sure you have the option, put yourself in a client's standpoint. Would you rather have the option to say yes or no or simply to never have been given the choice at all? I think all of us would say, well, I want the option to say yes or no. You know what we don't like? We don't like people who are in it for themselves, which is why we hate telemarketing, right? Because it's nosy. And, you know, most of the time it's like, what do you call it? Breaks up your time. You know, it's pushy, it's often illegal, it's scammy, it's scummy. It's not. They we know. It's not in it for us. It's all in it for them. Those are the kinds of things we have resistance to and we should. But you're not that, right? You better not be. And most of us aren't. 99% of us aren't. So I would rather have a lot of great people give me options than have everybody keep their mouth shut and not even give me the shot or the chance to say yes or no to them. Can you see how that perspective also.

Helps you really grow?

Right? Because now what I'm saying to my flow is give me a lot of opportunities. I want to work with great people, start having them show up so I can make a decision. Please. I can't have them hide. I mean, some of you have been nursing the secret desire to work with a great coach or a great, you know, someone to show you the ropes show, a mentor, right? You're wishing for this person. What if all of those people you were wishing for were like, oh, well, no, I'm not going to go out there and make calls, and I'm not going to, like, show up like that. And no, they're going to have to work really hard to find me because I'm not going to. Wouldn't that be annoying? See, you are in a position of wanting things, really wanting it. You ever really wanted to go to like Disneyland because Disneyland offered itself to you and you're like, yes, I want that. I want that. Every time you've picked up a piece of jewelry in a store and you said, oh, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, I want this. Thank you, someone for giving me the opportunity to make a decision about it. Can you imagine what your life would be like if you could shift into these kinds of thoughts? 90% of the time, you would be wealthy. Your time would be so full of clients you wouldn't know what to do with them all. You would be forced to grow and escalate your business and your offer to the next level to encompass all of them. Your time would be spent frankly just thinking up systems to handle everybody. How can I make this better? More efficient, faster, more accurate, handle more. Wouldn't you like that problem? Well, here's how you get to that problem, right? I've encountered that problem multiple times. It's a good problem to have, but it's the thinking that gets you to that problem. This is what separates the wishers and the dreamers from the doers and the beers, Right? The wishes and the dreamers from the doers and the beers. We keep asking for the bigger problem and a weird, strange way of putting it, but that's it. All right, that's great. Let's now go to some of our callers. Let's see, I think we've got Melanie in Ohio. Hey Melanie, how are you today?

I am wonderful, how are you?

Great. How is Ohio treating you?

Well, right now the weather is very calm. We've had some super humid days where California has that beautiful weather constantly. The humidity here will knock you over. But right now we're okay. We're all getting ready to go back to school and you know, it's just that mindset right now. Everything's changing. It's like even though summer's here, the season is changing and yeah, we're ready to rock.

Yeah. Well, I gotta say, here in California we have been having our series of heat waves and fires and woo hoo and a strange humidity. So I'm there with your sister.

Yeah, yeah, the humidity is just. My uncle lives out in California in the Newport area and when he comes back here to visit, he's like, oh my Lord.

Yeah, I know, I've had that feeling. I have walked out of the plane in like Texas for instance. That's where I remember it the most. Like walking out in Houston and it's like being hit with a bunch of wet wash rags, Hot, wet wash rags all over. The minute you deboard, I'm like, oh, God, Texas. I always think of dry, rolling hills. No. Anyway, let's get on to you. Let's get on to what you're doing. What's happening in your business? What do you do? What kind of clients are you looking for? You could be my role model or my demo model.

Absolutely. And, well, I'll tell you where I am. I'm a teacher by trade. And for years, I have. I've had my coaching. I've had my coaching certification, and I've just. I've done. I've done so many things, but I've never stepped up as a coach. And all of a sudden, it's like my body, my whole life is saying, it's time. And so now I'm like, okay. As I'm creating a webpage, which always seems to be, like, the first thing, which hasn't even really started, it's still in my mind and putting it together, I want to make sure that I am in the mindset from the beginning that brings the right people to me. It always felt I was. Felt not ready, or maybe I didn't have the right words, or maybe I wasn't in the right flow all the years prior to this. I got my certification in 2011 and.

Your coaching certification?

Yes, and sat on it because I had a job. I have a job. So I think one of the beautiful things is I'm not stepping into this out of desperation.

Yes.

I'm stepping into it because I want to do it, and I feel ready to do it. And all the things you were saying, I'm like, well, that's. That's the beauty of starting it now versus, oh, my gosh, I lost my job. I better try to do this now. Would I one day like to transfer into doing it full time? Absolutely. But what I know now is it's going to come from a very genuine place of saying, I have something to share.

Yeah. What kind of coach do you want to be?

That is undetermined.

Okay.

I, you know, I've been through.

Love it.

Yes. Okay.

I do. I really do. I'm not just saying that.

Okay, good.

Sarcastic at all. No.

Because when people say, what's your niche? It makes me cringe. Like, why does it have to be just one thing?

Yeah.

Well, I'm with you. Lead me.

This goes back to what I was Saying at the beginning of today's episode, let your audience describe your greatness to you. So when you say, I'm a coach, I don't know what kind yet, you're gonna say, okay, I'm gonna bring in a bunch of people and we're gonna start working together. And then you're gonna discover, huh, it's funny how many single women I've worked with and I'm teaching them all about relationship stuff. Interesting. And then you'll realize they'll say to you, you're so good at relationships. You're so good at like just grounding us and, and repositioning our thinking and opening our hearts to intimacy. Again, of course, they won't say that, you know, verbally too often unless they're very self aware clients. But you'll just start, they will start to show you this is what you, this is where your thing is. And it's a really different model for evolving your business than here's my product, I'm going to do it, I'm going to send it out there. I hope you take it. It's the opposite model. So you would start coaching and people say, well, what kind of coaching? You'd say, well, what are you looking for? Let's try it. Of course, you have to feel comfortable like, well, I could handle that. You know, I don't coach people how to climb to the top of Mount Everest if you've never climbed before, but if it's in your ballpark. Right.

But I think you also know that so many things come down to relationships, come down to this, but ultimately always come back to our relationships with ourselves, of course. And so in a lot of ways, could I business coach somebody? Not right now, but could I business. Could I coach them into getting started or getting a, you know, getting the courage up or helping them with their journey. Absolutely. So I think a lot of times a lot of it comes back to the relationship they have with themselves, which is something I am very good at. I'm good at those things. But you know, when you say relationship coach, that sometimes eliminates people because they think it's something.

Yeah, yeah. So to help you just, you know, continue on this clarity that you're already, you know, more than halfway there as a teacher, you already know that you're very good at communicating and inspiring others. Okay. And you're recognizing, I haven't built a big company or I built any kind of company, so I probably wouldn't teach that. Probably people wouldn't say you're good at teaching that either. Because you haven't done it. You see how it kind of works. It's like it becomes a very obvious thing. So, yes, you have a wonderful cushion in that you have a job, you've got a good job. And flow your life is allowing you to build on that cushion. Bringing in two or three people or four or five, or saying, hey, I'd like to start a group of five gorgeous beings and see what we can develop in ourselves. And then they're gonna give you five points of feedback. And you'll discover from that feedback, this is where my excellence comes out. Because this is where these people were able to change the most. Right. Their change is what tells you what you are best at doing. So an example is, you know, I can teach people how to be empathic. I can teach them how to co create. Turns out I'm really good at teaching people how to find their inner power. Right. Five years of teaching me school has shown me that over and over again, more and more people are coming for that purpose because people are walking out with this tremendous inner power that they didn't have before. And so I'm. And so now I'm starting to recognize, gosh, I'm a teacher of inner power because that's what my students are becoming like. They're showing me. You get it?

Yes.

Yeah.

I'll tell you, one of the dumbest little hurdles that I had was I don't like the word coach, it seems so whistle coach, you know, and so I, I don't know why I wrestled with that. And finally one day I just said, oh, well, so you're a coach. It'll change when it's time. And that like, set me free. Like I had to accept with. That's a word that people, you know, because I couldn't figure out what to call myself either. And so I was tripping over all these little things instead of just allowing them.

Yeah.

And I really do want to set myself up in a good place.

So tell me what you're going to do with exposure now, because that really is your next step. How are you going to create exposure around what, what you give? See, and that's the litmus test for most of us. Because if we're like, I don't have any plans for exposing what I, what I give, then I can look back and say, well, sounds to me like you're still in a state of getting comfortable and confident about what you give. Otherwise the exposure would be pretty easy. You'd be so ready for it.

Right. Exposure. I think the first Thing obviously is social media. I guess if that's the lane you're looking at, I just think in a way that's almost the easiest, but it's also the one that seems the most the right way right now anyway.

Yep. So the first thing you did is you created exposure to yourself by claiming your title. Okay, I'm a coach. And a lot of people listening right now, they haven't even said that about themselves. I'm a coach or I'm a writer. Writers often have this hang up. They're like, well, I write a ton, but I've never published a book. I'm like, oh, you're an author. No, I'm not. I'm like, yes, you are. If you've written, you're an author. Who are you waiting to tell you? You have to self claim it and then you can expose it to everybody else. Okay, so you self claimed finally that you're a coach. After, you know, seven years. Now the next step for you. Yeah, sorry. Is the exposure. And this is where the action steps are really, really critical. Get in there and start doing it because you will show yourself if you hold back from actually doing it. What you're actually showing yourself is there's still stuff in me that I gotta get through. Let's go find that. I mean, it's like in the students I work with, a lot of them have been through business coaching programs already or are simultaneously enrolled in business coaching programs. And I know exactly why they're here. Because they're learning all of this stuff that they can't apply. They're like, I learn it, I know how to do it, I should be doing it. I kind of half assed it. Why can't I actually do it? I say, ah, because that's the inside stuff, right? You've got the knowledge. But can you give your, can you do that exposure? What's that? And then we go in and we find those pieces. I think that's where you're at right now, right? You've got the technical knowledge and you've been sitting on it. So I would say to you, and this is my little flow dreaming prescription for you, you need to go out and self identify in at least five groups or five to five people. Social media friends, put up your own site, whatever it is. I am a coach or I am a mentor or I am a leader. You can say whatever you want. Teacher. You are a teacher. Literally. Yeah. Identify that and begin exposing it and let yourself get into the initial discomfort while you're allowing people to Start seeing you for who you really are. Okay. Yeah.

It's either do it or I feel like I'm just at a do it or don't point. It's like, if I'm not gonna take a step forward, then stop talking about it.

Well, there's a phrase for that, but I really can't. Can't say it on radio.

Poop or get off the pot.

Is that true? Yeah, something like that. Poop or get off the pot. I say that a lot, actually. All right, Melody, well, I'm gonna let you go. Thank you. You thank. Thank you for being my little example student today. And so you know what you're gonna do now? You're gonna go out there and you're gonna get some exposure. You're gonna claim it, and you're gonna start allowing other people honoring them enough to make their own opinion about you. Stop trying to control them and what they think. Okay?

I love that. Thank you. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

Yeah, you're so welcome, my dear. Okay, take care. Bye now. Okay, I believe. Let's see. How much time do we have left? I think it is not very much. Oh, Holy moly. Okay, so we're going to do a quickie little flow dream. I just want to get you quickly into that energy space. So I'm sorry, everybody else who was on hold. We spent a little more time with Melanie, but I thought that was good because she was a great model for what we were talking about. So eyes closed. Relaxing. Relaxing. Releasing, Dropping into your flow. Not meditation. This is emotional. I want you to feel this. Go ahead and feel. You are really good at something. Really good at it. You've honed it. You've sculpted it, you've cultivated it. You've practiced it over and over. It still excites you. It's something you've been given. It's your own personal gift. Something you have no comparing it to anybody else. And you are good at this. You are good at this. You're so good at this that if you don't give it away, if you don't share it, if you don't allow other people to see it, why, the universe would just think you are selfish. Why did we waste this on her or him? Now you are showing it. You are showing it, giving it, offering it. You have to. You are meant to. The next step for you is to let other people see it, claim it. These become your clients. They become your friends. They become the people who populate your life that you can give to. And they'll give back to you as well. No censoring what they are allowed to decide or see or think or feel. Don't censor it. Don't hide it from them. If you're not actively seeking them, then you're actively hiding from them. There is no middle ground. There's no middle ground. Feeling it that way. You know your next step is to say hi, here's what I do. Hi, here's what I do. Hi, how can I help? Hi, here's what I give hi, I've been told that I can Da da da da da. This is how you see yourself. This is how you feel about yourself. That's what you hold, you feel inside as you return from Flow. And we get to wrap up another beautiful episode of Flow Dreaming. So I'll see you all next time next week, same place, same time, 1 o' clock Tuesdays, 4 o' clock Eastern for more Flow Dreaming.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening today. One request before you go. Please rate this podcast either in itunes or tunein.com or wherever you listen to it. It'll only take you a minute to do, but you're ready. Rating There is the number one way that other people discover this show and the more ratings, the more people who will find and get turned on to Flow Dreaming. While you're there, you might also want to download my free Flow Dreaming podcast app. With this app, you can listen to the show anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search through listings of all of my episodes and bookmark your favorites. And if you want want to listen to Flow Dreams, actual Flow Dreams on your phone, there's even another app, it's my Player app and it will let you browse and sample Flow Dreams from the shop. There's even an oracle inside of that app to help you see and discover what you need to know most or what Flow Dream would be best for you in your life. Right now you can find these apps on itunes or in Google or your Amazon App Store.

And again, thank you so so so.

Much for giving back.

Love you.

Bye.