#574: The Fierce Pull: Coming Back as the Underdog

Before we jump in today's show, I just wanted to tell you that we had a few technical errors, so the quality of the broadcast is a little bit sketchy in parts of the episode, but it's still such a good episode with good content that we're releasing it anyway. So just soldier through with us and I really still think you'll get a lot out of it. All right, here we go. Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStravik and welcome. Welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Hi. Hello, welcome, welcome. Here we are having another wonderful episode of Flow Dreaming together. My name is Summer McStravik. Welcome to the show. We are hitting episode number five 74. 574. I know, crazy. The fierce pull. Coming back as the underdog, that's our topic today. We're going to be exploring it from the direction of energy, of emotion. Just plain advice from my years in the trenches, having done it multiple times, really, but looking at how it feels to make a comeback. How to make a comeback. So thanks for spending time with me and hope I give you something really fun and kind of enlightening over the course of the hour. Every Flow Dreaming episode, I try to craft a compelling idea or thought or look into some little aspect of our lives and look at it not from a typical or traditional standpoint, but look at it from a non physical standpoint, an energetic standpoint, and then say, how can we deal with this? How can we work with this? How can we improve this? How can we grow this? What does this mean? And that's why I think we've been able to hit almost 600 episodes over the course of the last 13 years that we have been together and that I've been broadcasting. So that said, if you are still unsure who I am or what you're getting into, because I know a lot of you are just discovering the show for the first time and discovering perhaps the Flow Dreaming app, go to my website, flowdreaming.com and I have a lot. I've got blog there. I've got just a whole shop of Flow Dreams. I've got a free dream free kit for you. I have tons of stuff because this website, truly I've been cobbling and crafting together over the last 13 years. So there is a lot there to it now. Many multiple, multiple, multiple pages. So go take a look and that will really explain to you a lot more about what we're about and sort of the flow dreaming movement. Right, the flow dreaming philosophy and the flow dreaming movement. So let's see here. Getting started. We're the underdog. What does that mean? How does it feel to sort of make a comeback? How do you lose your spot in the first place? Well, it happens lots of different ways and it happens many different times. I'm thinking going back to some of the earliest points in my life where I experienced pretty much an epic failure, that's what a comeback means. Comeback means you didn't do so hot on the first round and when you're younger, of course. In fact, I did an episode a little bit about this not too long ago when I was talking about going through a midlife crisis. Let's see, when was that? Oh, episode 567. Yeah, that was a little ways back. But I was talking about how we can tend to lose some of our flexibility over time. And the more you come back, the more you kind of pull yourself back out and return to the game. It's like one of two things happens. Either you get more psyched up for doing it because you know you're going to do it and it's going to work or you get more scared and drift more into lack thinking like I'm doing it again and then it's going to happen again and I'm just getting exhausted doing it and I don't want to do it anymore. People tend to veer sort of in either direction over the course of their life. And I think it's one of those things that ends up making us either be that bright, beautiful, shiny, you know, centennial hunter year old who just says I had the finest life ever versus the cranky crabby centennial 100 year old saying I just want to get on with it and die already because life sucks. They always do these interviews, you know, with, with the older people and you know, the quite elderly, the people who've really like made a mark and just ask them what's the secret to your life? You know, how do you do it? I really think being able to come back, being able to race ahead again and not drift into lack is a fundamental key of not just survivalship, survivorship, but thrivership. I'm making up all kinds of words today by the way. I've been taping for the last couple of hours for MI School some more Content. So I'm pretty much on a roll here. Coming back, like I said, it usually means that something really terrible has happened at one point or another. You've lost a job. You got a divorce. The love of your life betrayed you. You developed a debilitating disease or chronic pain. Something happened that took you down a peg, took you down a notch, Took you down a lot of notches. Something that perhaps you were striving for, that you wanted to create or do or become. Failed on liftoff. And when you hear the words fail on liftoff, you kind of think of like a NASA rocket or something. Do you know how many times. Do you know how many boosters they've lost? How many trials have misfired? It's built into the whole planning. It's not like they're all riding the entire space fleet on every single attempt being 100% success. No, it's. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Doesn't work. Oh, my God. Worked. Worked. How do we make it better? Worked again. Worked again. Doesn't work. Oh, worked again. Right? I mean, that's how stuff gets made. That's how inventions are created. That's how businesses are built. Yet in our own lives, we have this sense. We tend to have a sense of, hey, this is my shot. If I fail this, I am a loser and no good. And I ought to just go back to being a plumber or being an accountant or being a. Whatever. Whatever it is, my dream is gone. No opportunity for failure. No chance of failure. And I want to blow up that thought today, because coming back really acknowledges it means I will fail. I will fail multiple times. I will test things. I will try things. No life does that joke, right? No life comes with an instruction manual. Wouldn't it be horrible if it did? I mean, it's horrible that it doesn't, but it would be even more horrible if it did. Because if life came with an instruction manual, there'd only be one way to piece it together. A way that some other being thought out and dreamed up. And maybe, indeed, it would lead to pure and utter happiness, but it would be the same exact life that everyone else was living. There wouldn't be billions of us. There'd be just one person. Because that's all it would take, everybody. Otherwise, there'd be carbon copies, a billion million carbon copies of the exact same life. Therefore, there is no instructions. Every life is intended to be wildly and vastly unique. Cosmic intention that each life should be wildly, individually unique. This means you get to have your own wild and individual flops and failures. When a failure happens, when we just crash and burn, you know, our first thought is, what's wrong with me? Or what's wrong with you? People didn't want me. People didn't like me. They didn't like my stuff. They didn't like my thought. They don't think I'm any good at it, or what's wrong with me. I'm not good enough for it. I don't make good stuff. I don't know how to do this, I guess. And I guessed wrong, right? We look around trying to point the finger, figure out, not just for blaming purposes, but so we can improve, right? Figure it out, know, understand it. The danger for us comes when we say, I just lost my identity. My whole sense of self was wrapped up in this. Because this was my chance, right? This was my shot. I'll tell you a story. When I was younger, first career that I pursued was in opera. And I actually left high school in 10th grade and I began attending the local state university because I had a vocal teacher there who was affiliated with the San Diego Opera. And she said, you have a good voice. You should get in some intense musical training. And I left school for a variety of reasons. Not just that, but that was kind of my saving reason. How I got back into school was her saying, what are you doing? You should be in school and you should be in vocal training. So I threw myself in. Unfortunately, I came from a background where I never had a single piano lesson in my life, never had a musical instrument, nothing. I did a lot of dance, never played, never even learned. When I got to San Diego State, I never even knew how to read music, let alone sing opera in three different languages. I was good with the languages, by the way, not so good with the music. But the point is, a 16 year old in a college, you know, I mean, I could barely drive at that point. I just learned everybody. All my friends were still in 10th grade. So I was three years younger, three to four years younger than just about everybody around me in the program. Three to four years, more experience than they had. But I said, if I take seven classes every semester, I know I can catch up. So I took seven classes. I know, ridiculous. But I said, I am going to be an opera singer. I'm going to figure this out and I can do it, and I deserve to do it, and I can do it. Fired up. Well, about a year into my training, I am exhausted. I am still struggling. Everyone else is still far Ahead of me. I mean, these are kids who've been in bands since seventh grade. They learned how to read music ten years before me. And I'm encountering these very challenging classes, like, you know, compose a piece of classical music. Right. Music composition, you know, right in the horn section. Like, I don't even know notations for, you know, like, for percussion. It's a whole individual form of notation. But my grade's riding on this. So my grades are starting to skid, and I'm like, no, no, no. I'm not used to that. Nice to that. I'm a straight A student. No, no, no, no, no. So I began sinking expectedly, and then I had a health challenge, had a terrible case of appendicitis that burst, misdiagnosed, became gangrene, went through sepsis, which is where your whole body is basically horribly contaminated by your intestine, which exploded. And didn't know if they were going to keep me or lose me at that point. And fortunately, I did. I pulled through, but it left me in an incredibly weakened state. Just the antibiotics they had to use were so hardcore that my body was just thrashed. My colon, everything thrashed. And I remember at home, lying in bed, and, you know, I had an open wound that was still draining. Like, I could see all the way down into my intestines. It was pretty disgusting and gnarly, laying there thinking, I'm not gonna go back. Like, I just made that decision in my head. I am not going back. I can't go back. And I realized I was not going to be an opera singer, and I was not going to pursue music. And now I had absolutely no direction for my Life. And I'm 17, and I feel like that's my last shot at college because I kind of blew it a little in high school there. And now I can't do music. And I could tough it out, and, you know, I did. I back and I changed majors and I wandered around. Basically just wandered because my whole sense of self was wrapped up in this is who I'm going to be, and now I'm not going to be this. And all my friends are on track to go into their musical careers. And I'm at home every day, and I'm healing and I'm resting and I'm losing my mind. And now all my other friends who were, you know, in high school are starting to graduate, and they're all going off to these great and wonderful colleges all over, and. And again, I'm home and I'm broken, and I'M laying in bed and I'm like £90 and I have no career and I'm not going to be an opera singer, right? That was my first experience losing my identity. It happened several other times over the course of my life since these things I had built up as being me got taken away, yanked out from me, fired, not wanted, had to shut down businesses, all kinds of things. And what it's shown me over all of these years is that I can't forestall this happening. It may happen again, right? Because usually you don't see these things coming, could happen again. But I can't fear it happening because it's happened so much that why would I waste any of the precious time when it's not happening, worrying about it happening? On the other hand, if and when it does happen again, I've had the experience so many times of moving through it that I know that there's another side, and I know that there is a comeback. And the comeback is always something I don't know, I can't see, I can't expect. It's going to redefine me, it's going to reshape me. It's probably going to be in a new area, a new place, a new relationship. It'll be something completely different that I have no anticipation of. So you're like, yes, Summer. That doesn't sound so awesome, the way I'm saying it. But here's the thing. Since I flow dream, right, Since I engage in this kind of emotional preaction, there is one beautiful, strong ribbon of guiding energy throughout all the comebacks of my life. It's an emotional endpoint that I craft every single day. I am safe, I am loved, I am financially abundant. I have a great and loving family, right? I mean, that's kind of it, you know, I'm satisfied. I'm satisfied, I'm content. My family is healthy and content. We have what we need. I love what I do. My entire life could just fit into those series of emotional statements, emotional guideposts I could do and be a hundred different things that could all fit into those parameters that I just said. It's not the career, it's not the particular person, it's not the particular achievement. It's what I'm doing and leading me to that feeling. And if it didn't, if I reach the expiration point on this one particular area of my life, think of it like milk, right? Sometimes milk's only half gone. You smell it, it's bad. You're like, how did that happen? Box says another week. Nope. Expiration point. It's there. Imagine if there were a store where you could walk down the aisle and pop some self love into your basket. Or how about tons of clients? Or maybe you're more in the mood for some relationship repair. Or how about more money monthly These are all Flow Dreams and you can literally put them in your basket. You can use them, feel them, take them inside you and become them. Become these things inside so that the universe starts offering them to you on the outside. Inside in your life. You tell the universe who you are by feeling it first. You can find all of these flow dreams. I have more than a hundred of them. They're@flowdreaming.com in my shop. Browse through, pick the things that you want to become and put them in your cart. Now you can find the Flow Dreaming shop both on a regular computer as well as on your mobile device. On your mobile device you can either use your browser to go to flowdreaming.com or you can download my free app where you can browse through. Listen to samples of all of the flow dreams that I've just been talking about. So go check them out, choose a few playlists, get started. Pick up my free kit that teaches you how to flow dream while you're at it. And that way you can read. Really get started. Changing your life. Now let's get back to the program. In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the U.S. number 1-760-456-7277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays, so check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast. Again, reach me at 1-760-456- 7277. Now let's get back to the show. When you fail, when you lose something, when your identity gets all mushed up and rearranged, you are not as awesome as you thought. Nobody did want you. After all. They fired you. They left you. They ghosted you. You took a chance and you quit your job and you started your own company and you ran out of money in four months. Like all of these things happen and you think it's you for a while, that's just me. That's me. I tried. I failed. I can't. But the underdog, the comeback kid, says not I can't, but I couldn't. There's a little difference. Not I can't, but I couldn't. This. This iteration did not work. This one expired. This path just got cut clean off. It's part of Me, I experienced this, but it's not all of me. It's not all of me. You know, since I got to be the opera singer, and yes, I did get to perform a bit. It was. It was a beautiful experience. I got to be the opera singer. I got to be the college student. I got to be the book publisher. I got to be the editor. I got to be the art director. I got to be a network director. I got to be a CEO and an entrepreneur of my own company. I got to be a mom. I got to be a wife. I got to be a friend. I've got to be all of these things since then. And the only way I could branch out and embrace and become all of these things is if I went through that failure to get to the comeback. And I know it's like an old trope. It's an old, like, personal growth saying that every successful person has to fail at least once. I agree. I really, really agree. Because if you don't do the failure, you don't know who you are in the failure. You don't know. It's not just what you learn, you know, through the act of failing. And business, or whatever it may be, or in marriage, in a relationship, you get to learn who you are when you are failing. Like, who do you really show up as? And even as devastated as you can get if you discover there's another part in you that says, this is really interesting. But this is not all of me. All of me is bigger. All of me continues. One of my favorite things is the only way out is through. The only way out is through. And I remind myself of that sometimes when I'm facing things that are difficult, when I have to make a comeback, the only way out is through. And it reminds me that I can't clamber and wish and hope and pine. It's gotta be better. It needs to be different. It needs to be like this and that, like, nope, the only way out is through. So whatever's in front of me, whatever is the next step, whatever I did that leads to the next thing, to the next, to the next, knowing my emotional guideposts are there, I will get through. Comebacks are embarrassing, right? They're embarrassing in a way. Well, they're embarrassing until you fully make the comeback. And then it's a stick it to ya. Ahah. I did it. See, y' all thought I was down. Nah. But right before the comeback, I know you are humbled. You are really humbled. And you are really embarrassed. In some cases, you're eating your words. In some cases, you did a bad thing and everyone hates you for it. And your family hates you and your friends hate you and your co workers hate you. Sometimes you are feeling like, I can't. I don't even know myself. Sometimes you realize I have an addiction. Sometimes you realize, you know, I lost, I lost a bunch of money. My money, other people's money that I borrowed. You know, the business owners that I've spoken to who carry the biggest burdens are when they have lost not their own money on their vision, but someone else's money. I borrowed the money from my mom. Now she's old and I'll never be able to repay her back in time for her retirement. Right? That is the dark place. But that's the place you come back out of. Why would life set that up for you that way? Why do you have to come back from the darkest place? Why does it have to be the hardest spot again? Because you see who you are in your darkest place. You see the burden you carry. You see what really motivates you. You learn and discover more about yourself than you ever will. When you're in the most successful place, you get to the most successful place. You tend to be easy breezy, you know, la la la, Everything's great. I'm wonderful, you're wonderful. But when you're in that dark space where you're humbled, you're asking that deepest question, am I really capable? Can I do this? Am I just faking it? Am I truly incapable? Will this really not work for me? And that's the question that life forces you to answer. It needs you to answer that question. It's begging you. Answer that question for me. Answer that question for me. So you answer that question once. If you're lucky, you'll get to answer it again. And maybe you can. Every time you answer it, the answer becomes deeper and richer and more glowing and more beautiful. And the only way out is through becomes easier and cruisier. So you finally reach a point where you realize, I have come back so many times. It's just what I do. My nature is the comeback. My nature is to be the underdog that everyone was disappointed in, that everybody's shunned, that everybody thought was so awful, but everybody didn't trust. And I said, been there, done that, know me and now this, the next and the new. But that only comes from you, right? That only comes from you. Your friends and your family, they can support you in your comeback. You know, I know lots of people recovering from Addiction, friends and family are super important. You don't hang out with the people you used to hang out if you were an addict. You hang out with good people, solid people. People who won't let you engage in that. They'll call you on it, right? They'll support you. But ultimately your comeback comes from you. You're the only one who can do it. You're the only one who can say, I'm coming back out again, I'm coming back into life again. And some people never do, you know, they don't. Mostly those people aren't listening to the show, to be honest, because what I say is so annoying, right? All this stuff about self, power and co creation and life listening to you and following you, responding to you, that's not an easy thing to hear when you're used to living life from a more passive and powerless standpoint. Which is life does things to me. Only if I get lucky, right? Only if I get lucky. Ultimate power leak statement. Yeah, luck is a wonderful thing, but not only if you get lucky. How about I'm always lucky, I make luck, luck comes to me, luck loves me. I'm lucky, lucky, lucky all the time. I don't wait on luck. I do my thing and luck comes in and it's like the ice cream on the cake. So coming back, what's the first step that you need to do? One, of course, acknowledge the epic failure. You did great. Doesn't matter if you succeeded or not. You did great, you took the chance. Next thing you do, acknowledge that your identity may have just gotten blindsided. You are not who you think you are. You had faith in this dream and the dream is gone. Someone else had faith in you and you broke it. You thought you were lovable and wanted and you were getting married. And then he left, right? Acknowledge this. Acknowledge the hurt and the disappointment. Acknowledge the fear. Next step. How long do you want to stay in this? And this isn't something you can always put your finger on, right? You can't say, I'm going to do two months of healing and then I'll be right as rain again. You might do two years of healing, right? Some of the biggest calamities take two to three years to really process through. That seems to be a timeline for me. Two to three years of, I call it licking my wounds. And I try to get out of it, but it's always hindsight that tells me, nah, I didn't really get out of it for about two to three years. And I know because that's when the Energy began to shift and change and things started to open up and bloom for me again. So when you ask yourself the question, how long do I want to stand for this? How long do I want to experience this? What you're doing is you're basically giving yourself permission. Like, I don't want to, you know, be in this state five years from now. I'll let myself process it, but if I find myself lingering, I'm going to like do a little check in with me and say, ready to move on yet? Are you ready? You ready? Next step to coming back, acknowledge that you're humbled, right? Acknowledge that you know you just got beat or you just had a breakdown or whatever that self blame might be in the situation. Just acknowledge that. Acknowledge it to yourself, acknowledge it to other people. Just acknowledge it. It's okay. Finally, what's next? Now when you try to make a comeback, before you know what the comeback is, you say, I don't know what's next Summer, Honestly, I'm just, I'm just at that point where you just described all those things. I've been through them, but I have no idea what's next. If that's the case, then your next point is to say, what do I want? Who do I want to be? How do I want to feel? Where do I want to go? What's my emotional endpoint? What do I want flow to gift me with? What's the next beautiful experience I want to tear my teeth into? What's that? Identify it. Don't be perfect about it. It doesn't have to be 100% right. Don't say the whole, my whole life is riding on it. Don't make it a huge thing, even make it a small thing. I just want to find a great place to live or I just want to lose that £25. Go with that. That can be a small comeback. And then when you're ready, when you know what the really big comeback is like, nah, I'm going to nail it this time. I'm going to get it. I talk to a lot of coaches as an aside, a lot of them blindly rush into coaching. They get a mentor who says, Charge $5,000 a month and you'll get 50 clients. And they all rush in thinking that's exactly what's going to happen. And then it doesn't happen. They're like, but Summer, I'm co creating this. I'm like, you're co creating. You're laying an emotional and an energetic foundation for this, but you got no other foundation. You Got work to do. You've got action, you've got time to put in. You've got networks to build and knowledge to acquire. You get all that in place and you get your pre action going, unstoppable. But that's not happening next month. And so they quit. Like, oh, I can't do all that. I've lost. I've lost my nerve. I've lost my nerve. And then a year later they go, you know, I think I want to try again. I think I want to try again. This time it's going to happen like this. And a new plan is hatched. And everything that they went through before, they're using. They haven't fully left the identity of what they wanted to be. They still want to grow into it, but it's been modified, altered, changed. And they are humbled by that first experience. Believe me, they are humbled by it. But it's that very humbling that helps you recommit to who you are and what you are and what you're good at and what your next thing to explore inside of you will be. If I had become an opera singer, I would have been very unhappy. Looking back, I can see it's not the lifestyle I wanted, you know, I would not. I don't like high drama careers, and opera singers are notoriously high dramas. Where do you think diva comes from? I would not have fit in. I would never have learned about my skills writing, my skills in flow, dreaming and teaching. I'd never have learned about how to build businesses, how to build radio networks, how to build products, write books. Never would have seen and discovered all of that in me. Only by coming back, pulling myself out, did I get to find all that stuff. And like I said, none of it shows up right from the get go saying, hey, here's the prize. Check it out. Uh, when you start that comeback, you just start walking again. You start plugging ahead, you start saying, I want to feel like this. And then you pick up that dream again. Same dream, different dream, doesn't matter. You pick it up and you look at it and you say, okay, I'm going to go in again. I may be the underdog, but there is going to be a day just like that NASA rocket booster. One of these tests is going to work. And when it does, I'm going to bask in it and bathe in it, cherish it, roll around in it and absolutely love it up and let it become part of me. And then I'm going to keep growing from there. So for me, that's sort of the art of the comeback. Those are the steps in the Comeback. A lot of it really just has to do with that initial tough work. Realizing that your identity is getting squished. It's not just the thing you attempted, it's your identity. Or in the case of a health condition, you went from a healthy, vibrant person to someone who is now perhaps permanently disabled or in pain. Okay, you can come back from that. You learn to live in a different way. You learn to see yourself in a through different lens. You begin to treat yourself differently, different habits, all kinds of things change. Shift adjustments. We gotta commit to the comeback energy. You've got to commit to. It's getting better. It's all getting better from here. So I want you to hold that thought. We're going to go to a quick little break and you might even want to explore my shop while we're at it. Especially if there's things in you that need some healing, need some fixing up so you can get to that next stage in your life. Go to flowdreaming.com check it out. You might also want to check out me school. Mi school, of course, is my flagship unbelievable, awesome program. It's 12 months. I have invested years of my life into creating this. Every year I tinker with it, I change it. It is not just an info product that you download. It is a live, real exchange teaching experience, a growth experience. You might want to check that out too. By the way. Yes, you can come in now. In fact, there's going to be a big fall rush of students coming in. So please, please get a hold of me. You'll find that on my website too. So quick break and when we come back, we'll return with more Flow Dreaming. While we're on break. Have you checked out MI School? In MI School, we travel together through a year, through everything that you are. You get to discover what drives you, how you're made, and how powerful you are actually are. We play with intuition and Flow Dreaming and dozens of other techniques as you go through one of the most potent, powerful and pleasurable personal development experiences you've ever seen. We continually co create your future. And I ask you to bring big goals to the table. Things that you want to become inside yourself. And you'll reach these using the tools that you've probably never been exposed to before in your life. But you will be here in MI School. So if you're curious, go to flowdreaming.com and click on MI School. Set up a call and we'll help you see exactly what you can do with your life. And if you choose to come join me in me school, then I look forward to spending the next year with you as we work together to create miracles. In case you missed it, the number to call to talk to me live is the US number 1764-567-277. Flow Dreaming airs live on Tuesdays. So check flowdreaming.com for my current live broadcast time. Again, reach me at 1 7745-67277. Now let's get back to the show. Welcome back to Flow Dreaming. So we have just a little bit more to go here in our show today, and I see that y' all are quiet out there on the airwaves and I have even failed to mention to call in and call me. I know you're listening because I can see you guys. But I wonder if you know what, we could probably take one call. So 76 04, if you want to talk to me about your comeback or what you need, if you want me to look into your flow, look into what's out there potentially for you, your future, that would be awesome. If not, then I have a few more words to say about the comeback. And I want to do. I want to do a little flow dream with you as well. So we'll get to that flow dream shortly. But until then, a few more points about making an amazing comeback and really getting yourself in the frame of mind for the comeback because we spent a lot of time talking here about failure and how you feel and what it's like to kind of move away from it. But what is the mental emotional flow state that you need to be in? Well, first of all, you don't come up with reasons why the failure happened. Yes. You have to come up with some reasons generally so you don't repeat it again. But there's this process that some of us get into, which is I'm just going to find all of them and I'm going to find. We call them excuses. Well, it was this other person's fault or it was the wrong timing, bad timing in the marketplace or I wasn't prepared enough. Right. I mean, good to know. Good to know. But don't let these become power leaks for you. Don't let them become. I would have succeeded except for finger pointing something outside of you. Right. Some. It may have been outside factors that contributed very well. I mean, you're not in control of the whole world's economy. Right. But the more power you can take back into yourself, the more responsibility Inner responsibility for the failure. The faster and the easier it's going to be for you to recover it, recover from it and get into that mindset of oh, I've got this, I can come back from this. You get it. If the power's in you, then you can come back, right? Because you're the one who's got all the self determination. If the power's outside of you, it's gonna be much harder to come back because you keep feeling like I'm fighting against the world and gosh, the world's bigger than me. So this is why blame, excuses, finger pointing, be very cautious with it. The reasons I'd rather you see are, hey, I could have done this better, I should have done that better. I should have been aware of this from the get or what contributed to this, what wasn't I aware of? Or you know, those are the questions really that you should be asking. So to make proper comeback, you gotta get your mind right, right. You gotta take your power back, you've gotta get your mind in the right space again. And that right space really is saying I will do it again, I will do it again and I will do it again and I will do it again and I will do it again. And I don't have fear about doing it again. I don't feel like each time I have to make a comeback, it's a little harder and a, oh, I'm a little more worn out and it's a little more, you know, like a very slow getting kicked in the head very slowly over time. Nobody would look forward to that. So you reframe what the comeback is, right? This is my comeback. This is where I get to go in a new direction. This is where I get to try something brand new and different. This is where I get to learn from what I did before. This is where I get to add together all the stuff that I have learned in my past from the successes and the failures, see where I'm at exactly now and jump off from that point because you know it's gonna be different than where I left it last time. It's just going to, it's not gonna be the same. All the circumstances, everything out there is different. That's the mindset, that's the one that can carry you through. Especially when you realize I have to make a comeback. Right. A lot of us, we feel that, you know, maybe we're mid career or you know, we're young and we've, and we've recently lost our partner somehow and we have to make A comeback. You know, we're not going to be satisfied and settled for the rest of our lives to say, no, no more for me. No more for me. So determine, Put your. Wrap your head around, get that space going of I will do it again, and I will do it better, and I will excel and I will shine, and this will grow and this will work, and this is working. And I'm 100% committed to figuring out how to make it work even better this time. Right? You don't even have to put it through the lens of failure or loss. Just say, I'm committed to figuring out how to get it to work better this time. Better this time. So one other thought here. One other thought. Remember, you're not alone. You really aren't. We have all done this. Your friends, your family, your kids, parents, everyone, bosses, everyone has made a comeback. Like, take a moment sometime when you're out. There's people around you. Look at them. Like every single one of these persons or people has been knocked to the ground. And they've picked themselves up again. And some of them are granted the walking wounded. They're still healing, but some of them have picked themselves up again and reached that spot of this is working for me now. I learned, I saw, I discovered, I became. This is working for me now. That that is where you want to go. That's the understanding that you really are looking to have. It's working for me now. Every single person around you, you are not alone. You are in the thick of what it means to be human. This wasn't personal. It wasn't you. Isolated, only ever happening to you. Everybody else got a pass. Not, not, not true, right? Misery loves comfort. No. Comfort loves misery. No. Something like that. Well, here you go. You're in the same boat as all of us. So it's not something that's special or that you have been specially tortured or tormented or especially epically failed. You're normal. This is part of it. This is part of the whole game. So make that comeback. Make it now. You can do this. It's time. It really is. It's time. If you haven't done it, when will ya? I would say do it now. And with that, I think it's time for us to go and do a flow dream. Maybe this flow dream will help you solidify and get really deep into the comeback space. All right, so you ready? Here we go. Go ahead and close your eyes. Take a nice deep breath with me. Relaxing, releasing. So flow dreaming is a technique. It's not meditation. What's happening is you're getting into a real emotional state. Dropping into your feelings, releasing, going into flow. We use daydreaming, emotion and flow and flow. So let yourself just drift, drifting, drifting in the waves of sound. Drifting. Imagine that you're looking out on a very still and beautiful body of water, body of energy, looking out. There's the beautiful sun. It's a sunrise, not a sunset. Sun is coming up. And you can feel this tug, this pull into the light, A tug, a pull into your future. The light is coming up, the sun is rising. And you've been there. You've been in the dark. You've been in the loss. You've been in the trauma. You've lost, perhaps how to define yourself. You've lost, perhaps, faith, trust, all the little broken bits. But they're behind you, behind the you. The sensation of drifting forward, floating forward into your future. Feel that? Forward you go. Forward you go. And you realize it's all good. It's all good. You're good. Everything that you felt is behind you. The collapse and the loss, the drama, the difficulty, the disappointment, the deep disappointment behind you. You are already in the midst of your comeback. You are in the midst of pulling ahead the underdog that everyone is now turning to look at and saying, what? How are you doing this? How are you doing this? Who are you? How are you doing this? And you can feel this slow smile creeping through your essence, creeping through your being, unfolding inside of you. A smo slow. It's like a Mona Lisa smile. Like your secret. This is your comeback. It happens at your pace. It happens in the way you want it to happen, how you want it to happen. This is your comeback. And it's already in motion. It's already happening. Things have already been lined up and put together. The outline, the sketch may feel wavy and may feel sort of like a little distortion in the light ahead of you, but you can see it's there. My comeback. My new way of being, My revision, my reveal. It is all coming back different. New new plants, new trees, new people, new circumstances, new place, New, different. But oh, so good. So, so good. You can feel that it's a stirring deep down in your gut, deep down inside your soul and your being. It's starting to sing. There's a sound, there's a tone. And you are saying, singing back with it, singing to it. There you go. There you go. Singing with it. Singing to it. Yes, you say, humming my way into my comeback. Mmm. I hear myself. You hear your own sound as you come back, lifting up solid ground. It's only now feeling yourself on the solid ground, reaching the shore, stepping ashore right where the sunrise is coming up. Right there. You start to see what it looks like. It's like having to walk far enough that you can see over the hill. You're just starting to see over the hill, what it looks like, what it feels like. But it's there, it's always been there, and you're heading straight for it. You hold that knowing, that deep inner feeling even now as you find yourself coming back and returning from flow. We're on break and while I give myself a second to regroup, I'd like you to consider what having private mentoring with me would be like. You see, I accept a small number of people each year for private coaching. The question is, what do you want to make? Who do you want to become? We can program and shape any area of yourself or your life. Imagine right now what you would be doing if you had no fear. Imagine how your life would look if there were no patterns and blocks repeatedly tripping you up. Imagine if you were fully healed in your heart, body and mind. Imagine if you also had a map to your success and you could follow it with ease and flow. Well, I look into you and into your life and I feel where you're going and know where the road is open and where it's blocked. I help you make the very best decisions based on what's coming up for you. I'll also show you exactly what I do day to day to succeed in my personal and business life and we can create a copycat plan for you. So if you're game, you can fill out an application on my website for private coaching. Just go to flowdreaming.com coaching and then let's talk. I mean the time to go for it is now. So let's just get this started now let's get back to the show. Alrighty, my darlings. So looks like I put out that call to call me a little too late because now my call screening board is filled up with calls and I've only got two minutes left. I'll be sure to do it earlier in the show. Don't wait for me to ask you folks, just give me a call right from the get go. I like to do calls early and flow at the end. Unfortunately today I just missed my timing, missed my mark a little bit. So keep that in mind for our next show. And by the way, I'll give you a little heads up. In fact, our next show is episode number. Oh gosh what is it? Episode number 575. Is there light? Where is the future going? Right. Where are we headed to? Politics, economy, environment, community, social norms. How do you grow inside when the world around you is always falling down? Right. We're going to create some light and hope today because I've been speaking with way too many of you recently who tell me you guys are just, you know, nutcases of fear and anxiety right now about everything. And what you are on the inside is what gets created on the outside. So we're going to fix that up and get us all back into states of hope and empathy and charged up, excited, delighted, action, all of that. So stay with me and we will have a little bit more Flow Dreaming next week. Hey everyone, thanks for listening today. One request before you go, Please rate this podcast either in itunes or tunein.com or wherever you listen to it. It'll only take you a minute to do, but your rating there is the number one way that other people discover this show. And the more ratings, the more people who will find and get turned on to Flow Dreaming. While you're there, you might also want to download my free Flow Dreaming podcast app. With this app, you can listen to the show anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search through listings of all of my episodes and bookmark your favorites. And if you want to listen to Flow Dreams, actual Flow Dreams on your phone, there's even another app, it's my player app and it will let you browse and sample Flow Dreams from the shop. There's even an oracle inside of that app to help you see and discover what you need to know most or what Flow Dream would be best for you you in your life. Right now. You can find these apps on itunes or in Google or your Amazon App Store. And again, thank you so much for giving back. Love you. Bye.