#585: I’m Currently Emotionally Unavailable. Please Hang Up and Try Again.

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Welcome. Hi, everybody, it's Summer, and you are tuning into episode number 585 of Flow Dreaming. I'm currently unavailable. Please hang up and try again. I actually had an alternate title for it is Dream. Don't talk to me. Don't ask me for anything. Couldn't pick between those two, but I went with the pun instead. So, yeah, let's dive into this. Emotionally unavailable, closed off. Your energy says, nope, no, thank you. Or maybe it's someone else's energy that says, no, you're not getting in. Just try all you want, but it's not happening. We're going to spend some time looking at this, recognizing, identifying this energy in ourselves and others, as well as learning how to navigate through it. Right? Is it temporary? Is it permanent? Is it something you should worry about? Is it affecting you? Is it healing you or helping you? What does it mean when you emotionally are shut down, when you just have no more to give? Or the same is true for somebody else, someone that you love, that you are very patiently waiting on to come out of it. All right, so a little bit of housekeeping. Hi, Hi. Hi, everybody. Hope you are liking the new format. A little bit shorter, a little bit tighter topics. Yes, we still talk about flow and we may or may not, may or may not do some flow dreaming. If you're curious what Flow Dreaming is, please, please, please go to the website flowdreaming.com there I have a free kit for you. You can download it. It will teach you this whole technique and you'll start to understand sort of the genesis of this entire show, where this way of and the world comes from. Because that's truly where Flow Dreaming will take you into a very strong, rich, empowered space inside yourself. So one more thing. I am starting something new where I am gonna be sharing each week one of the recent reviews that one of you has left about my show. I'm gonna pull em from itunes, meaning if you're listening and found this in itunes, the itunes podcasts or the podcast app on your phone, you should probably see and I'll look at the Google ones as well. You should see a list of things people have written and said about this show over time. So I'm looking for the most recent ones and I'm going to share them with you as just kind of a hats off and a thank you. Basically you're thanking me so I'm going to be thanking you. So our first one that I want to share with you comes from M. Shearer. M. Shearer, thank you for writing this about the show you said I have been listening to Flow Dreaming on and off for eight years and I must say my life has changed for the better recently. I've been listening to Summer's podcasts while I walk, drive or get ready for work and I have been manifesting more money monthly. I received recently a raise at my job three times as much as I was expecting. Wow. Plus my sideline business is getting more orders from my loyal customers. Woohoo. Thank you Selmar for being you and I'm so glad I found you and stuck with you all these years. You're amazing. Well thank you. Im sure you're amazing too for sharing that with me. And again, I just want to acknowledge I do read what you guys say. I take it to heart, I listen. And these little notes that you leave me, it's kind of like, you know, it's kind of what I work for. I will work for compliments. I will work for making a difference. And that's what this tells me. That I'm not just sending my missives out into the void and hoping someone no, I know I connected with you and I made a difference and it really makes me want to show up again and you know, put out another show week after week after week. So thank you. Next show I will read yet another. So let's start popping some of those in there. Especially if you guys have been listening for five months or five years and I've been thinking for a while, hey, I'd like to maybe finally leave a review. I would love it. All right, so topic at hand. I'm currently emotionally unavailable. Please hang up and try again. Remember the old Telephone lady? Does she still do that? I remember being a kid and calling the time lady was like the best thing. I was probably single handedly responsible for more Time lady phone calls than anyone else in my city because every day after school I want to see what time it is. I think I still remember it. It was UL3 1212 and that was the, that was how you had to type it on the phone. I don't even know if it works anymore. I think of course you know that was a long Time ago, cell phones changed everything. Literally. So emotionally unavailable. I'm going to tell you that the genesis of the thought behind today, I was at a luncheon, a gathering, a gala, a gala, more correctly, of women and very fancy high end people in a very fancy high end home in a very fancy high end part of the city. And one of the people there, it was a fundraiser, she was a guest speaker. And they, you know, someone there, of course knew her. And let me just say, she was the former CEO of one of the very largest media companies in the world. And she'd had a lot of experience doing amazing and magnificent things. And when I arrived, I didn't know she was the keynote. She was just sitting at a table by herself. And I thought, oh, well, I can appreciate sitting at a table by yourself. It probably means you're just not sure you don't know anybody else there. And so I just, you know, waltzed right up. Hi, how are ya? You know, trying to make her feel comfortable. I'm like, I don't know anybody else here either. And we spoke and she was very guarded, she was very cautious. She told me her name. I didn't recognize it at the time because I did not know who the keynote speaker was going to be. I had just shown up. She was guarded, she was polite. But I kept, I couldn't help. I had this feeling she really doesn't want to talk to me. You know, she just kind of wants to be in her own world. And then, you know, they rang the bell and we all had to go fill up our plates or do whatever the next step was. And it was only as I was sitting down did I see her go up on the stage. And she told us who she was. And she told us a story about how in her last line of work she had so many people who wanted things from her. That's all she did all day. She managed things and then she managed people's wants and they all wanted it from her. And how she finally left because she just couldn't handle everybody always needing things from her, wanting things, expecting things. It had verged from a position that she loved and enjoyed, that was spectacular, to a defensive position. What do you want from me? Why does everybody only want something from me? Because of my position, right? It started to get into this feeling of, you don't love me for me, you love me for what I can do. And this thought just stayed with me because I did. I tried to approach her afterwards and just talk with her again and say, oh my gosh, I Didn't know. And you know what? I actually don't need anything from you. I just wanted to say hello to you and just kind of give her some other energy in her life, you know, because I could tell she needs healing, like, and I want to help speed the healing along. Like you can actually know people who don't really care what you did or who you are and they're not looking to get a benefit off of you because you've been damaged and you've got what I call career ptsd. And it's so strange because you got it from one of the most amazing jobs in the world. But you know what? It still happens. It happens when your energy just gets closed off, shut off, don't come near me, don't talk to me. And I felt so bad for her. I still feel bad for her. I feel bad that her probably what used to be an outgoing, fun loving personality had become so affected and so shut down. So when and why does this happen? And you know, this is a big example, but it happens in small ways to us all the time. It happens after we have gone through a long stint caregiving and we are exhausted and tired. We've just taken care of somebody through an illness, an accident and all of our give is gone. We are over given. And then we have to start allowing other people to fill us back up again. But sometimes we forget that and we don't allow them to fill us back up again because we're still locked in this kind of emotional, energetic paralysis thinking that the energy is only flowing out. We forget it will flow in. And if it flows in, it's not because somebody wants it to flow out from us again because they want something or they need something. So here are a few ideas I want you to play with. I'm going to lay out one of my now more and more common lists. I love lists. Can you tell? I am a list maker, a total dyed in the wool Virgo list maker. But I was trying to come up with all of the characteristics. What do I see, what do I feel in someone when they are closed down and they are shut off? Because you know, I work with people all the time. I've counseled thousands and thousands of people in flow dreaming, intuitive counseling, co creational counseling, flow counseling. And you know, often people will come to me and they'll say, I want to fall in love. I'm looking and I'm looking and I go right in and I feel them and I go feel their minds and I say, no, you're not you are as shut down as you could possibly be. And they say I am? I didn't know. And I say, yeah. So I give them a whole list of things to do to reopen their energy because I can see there's, you know, potential partners swirling all around them, but their eyes are closed, their energy is closed, their heart is closed, even though they're longing. So here you go. Here's a list of things that might indicate that you or someone else in your life really is currently, emotionally click unavailable. Either long term or short term. That's a whole other discussion. One thing that I see, emotionally unavailable, emotionally shut down people do and notice. There's no judgment here. We're not talking, you know, people who are evil and wicked and narcissistic and self centered, psycho sociopaths. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about an energy phase, you know, that we kind of go through often for very good reasons. So here we go. Do you date unavailable people or are you kind of unavailable? Right. This is classic when you're dating somebody who's involved with another relationship, either married or, you know, they have a girlfriend or boyfriend or something, but you're still dating them and you're still hoping and wanting, but the fact is you'll never get 100% of them. There's a built in wall, there is a built in separation clause that says it's going to be a tough one to cross. Sometimes the emotionally unavailable person comes across as there one day and gone the next. Hot and cold. They reach out, but then they pull right on back. And maybe that's you. Maybe someone's trying to date you or be a friend with you and you're there for them and then you're not. You're gone. Maybe you leave dates and parties early, you just kind of give up halfway through. I don't really want to be here. Maybe you've seen other people do that and you think, gosh, what's wrong with me? Why did they want to go home so early? How about you're the person who picks the last table in the room, you know, the one at the back, the one where you can be by yourself. Or you choose the last row in the auditorium where there's not that many people sitting in case you want to get up and leave. You're already setting yourself up not to be engaged, not to be part of the conversation, not to give yourself to the room, to the event. And some of these, like I tend to do that one, right? I pick the last table in the room, the last chair in the auditorium. That's classic summer behavior. I do it because as an empath, I can easily get overstimulated and overloaded, and I like to make a quick exit when I need to, but I recognize it makes me come across as emotionally distant as well. And, in fact, kind of feeds that a little bit, because you're right. I'm not up in the third row staring at the speaker. I'm not at the party closest or the table closest to the stage. You know, talking with whoever's on the dance floor. You wait for people to say hello to you first. Are you that person? Do you stand in line quietly, and then someone says, hey, yeah, are you getting those radishes? I got some radishes, too. And you look at them and you think, oh, hi. You might be responsive and open and friendly, but your energy was closed. Not wide open and shining. Wide open, shining energy. Do this with me right now. Take your shoulders and hunch them over and cave your chest in. Okay, That's. Can you feel how closed that is? Now roll your shoulders back and let your chest expand out. Now your energy is open. There's a physical aspect, a physical response between open and closed energy. And sometimes people notice your closed energy, and they try for it anyway, because often they don't. They're not reading the signs right? They're those people. They're not reading the cues. Like, I'm really closed off. I didn't put my makeup on. I didn't brush my hair. I just had to run to the store. I don't want to see anybody. Please don't let me see anybody. Oh, and now this person's going to chat me up in line. That's the energy. Is it temporary or is this often you or someone that you know or love? Here's another one. Your face often says, I'm not interested. Just not interested. When your face says you're not interested, it's a mood. It's an expression. It's often a kind of lack of awareness. You guys have heard the old saying. Pardon me. This is a really bad saying to. It's called resting bitch face. Right? We've. We've heard that. It's that look that's sort of somewhat pained, somewhat annoyed, somewhat irritable. Yeah, it's that look. We don't know we're doing it, but it's our energy coming out from us. Well, sometimes it's not just that facial expression. It's the lack of what you're even doing with your face. Doing with your eyes. You ever been going out with your friends and you feel like, oh, gosh, I'm feeling down on my body. I'm feeling down on how I look. Maybe I'm worrying about someone in my life. And you're not dressed that great because it was just too much trouble to go out and get, you know, dressed up for girls night or whatever it may be. And you just kind of want to go and tag along and kind of hide. So when you get to the restaurant or wherever you're meeting your friends, you don't really look around the place. You just look at the table. You see them, and you go and you sit straight down, and you don't really have much awareness of what's happening around you. You sweep it in, and then you just shut it down. Meanwhile, one of your other girlfriends who's there is single and looking, and she's dressed up, and her face is bright and open, and she is looking around this restaurant. Her eyes are darting corner to corner, taking it all in. She notices, oh, there's a handsome, you know, person at the bar. I think I might want to go, you know, go, would somebody go up with me and order a drink? And she's getting eye contact, right? She's getting eye contact. She's noticing people, they're noticing her. There's like a current, a current or a currency that's traveling around, and that current or currency is not with you. You didn't even look up. You didn't even notice that there was anybody around. You didn't even notice your energy is closed. Hers is open. And the open energy person is noticing other people noticing her. She's engaged. She's engaged. Here. Here are a few other things that kind of clue you in to the person who's open versus closed. Maybe you're very accustomed to wearing black. Not because you're cool. Is that still cool anymore to wear? You know, you're goth and all of that. No, you're just wearing gray and brown and black and white and blah, navy and any colors that let you just kind of sink away, not show up. Maybe not white. White's pretty. White's pretty show up. But these dark colors are kind of reflective of the shuttered window, right? You put the. You put the shutters on the window. You darken that window. Is that you? Is that someone? How about your body language? Are your arms folded? Are your shoulders hunched? Is that you most of the time? Do you walk with your head down? Isn't it funny? So many people walk with their Head down Nowadays, why? Their phones, their phones. I can walk through an Airport and 20% of people are walking, looking down at their phones. You sit In a subway, 99% of people are looking straight down in their own phones. And in fact, that's another indicator if you are obsessing over your electronic device. And I don't mean obsessing in an accusatory way. I mean it's just always there. It's got you, it's gluing you, you create a bubble around you, right? There is a social bubble and a psychic bubble that surrounds you when you do this. And that bubble says, don't talk to me, don't ask me for anything. I'm currently emotionally unavailable. Please hang up and try again. Now the opposite of that is the person who doesn't answer their phone, who doesn't answer their texts. And yeah, maybe they have a little phone phobia or social, you know, impairment that I don't like texts, I don't like phones. But in some cases it can be a. I don't want to hear it, I don't want you, I don't want anybody else in my business, in my life right now. All I want is to cook myself a nice pot of soup and take a bath and hit the sack. Because I am emotionally over given, emotionally empty. And I don't want to, I don't have any more to give. Sometimes people who are feeling emotionally over given, unavailable, shut down, closed, they actually can be rude. But you know, it's not like the number one indicator. Rude people can be very emotionally open, aggressively open, aggressively in other people's space. But sometimes this rudeness can be like subtle. You ever left a party without saying goodbye to the host? Just kind of, you know, slunk out the door because you're feeling, you're not feeling it. Do you ever say to yourself, I just wasn't feeling it? There's some detachment. That's what you're acknowledging, a detachment. Sometimes it also transfers into the kind of people we surround ourselves with. If I'm feeling emotionally unavailable, I'm probably going to pick someone else who's emotionally unavailable. Maybe a long distance relationship. I already mentioned the one in the beginning about people who are already in relationships. But maybe you never seem to date or make friends with people who live locally. Maybe they're always far away. Isn't that curious? So if you're looking around at the people who surround you, maybe you were born into a family of people who were pretty emotionally closed, who were energetically closed. Now I Want to make a real subtle sort of distinction. Emotionally closed and energetically closed often go hand in hand, but they're not necessarily the same thing. Energetically open is that sensation, that feeling of, I'm open, I'm aware I'm connected into my surroundings, right? My head is up and I'm saying hi to people, and I'm allowing these interactions into my life and into my heart. If a person is emailing me and they need something from me, my response is, how can I help you? I'm energetically open to being connected with, as opposed to, I don't have time for this. I can't do this. I'm already full enough. It's a no, right? That's you shutting and closing your energy. And those of us who have to practice boundaries, we need to do that kind of thing. We need to shut down our energy a lot. Otherwise, we just keep pouring it and pouring it and pouring it and pouring it, and the world will take all that we can pour. Believe me, being emotionally closed is often the same as energetically closed, except sometimes we make an effort to engage and interact, but we don't quite get there. We don't really get what we're needing from it or from the other person who appears to be energetically collaborating with us, open to us, talking with us, working with us, doing that project with us. But there's just something there, some part of them, where they say, no, I'm unreachable. I don't want to give that. Pretty interesting, isn't it? It makes us step back and examine this, like, okay, where in my life am I being energetically shut down, and who else in my life is energetically shut down, and how did they get there and what do they need and what do I need? What can we give ourselves and what can we give them? I'm gonna let you hang and dangle with that question as we go to a quick break. And when we get back, you know me, I set up the problem, and then we go into the solution. When we get back, we're gonna. What does that emotionally shut down? What does that energetically disconnected person need to come back out again, fresh, connected, whole and engaged? So hang on, stay with me, and I'll see you in just a few minutes. So I have a really important question for you. Me, school. You've heard me talk about it, mention it, and I'm just wondering when it might be a fit for you, when you might jump to the next level, which is going from maybe listening to the flow, dreams and playing with them or listening to this podcast and saying there is a next point from here. And I've been kind of playing around this same area for quite a while and I'm ready, ready to see what else there is. And maybe you're nervous and scared. You don't know how much it costs. You don't know what happens there. You don't know what will happen for you there. Look, don't be. Just don't be scared me. School is the most beautiful thing I think I have made in my life. But it's the most beautiful thing because I take you, really you people, just like you, into the program. And I take all the learning that I have been blessed with, that I have been mentored with. And I have been mentored and blessed with some pretty amazing people in my life. And my job is to carry this information forward to then pass it on to you. And what we pass on is how to live well, how to be you, authentically you, how to live into who you are, who you came here to be, how to find that, how to move through your ceilings and blocks and blossom. You know, you're probably looking at this next big chunk of your life and wondering what's going to be there? What's going to be in it? Is it going to be the same as it was before? Well, for it to be different, you need to start choosing yourself. You need to invest in yourself. You need to invest in your growth. You need to consciously say, I'm ready, it's time, I'm ready. Now. That's what we do in MI school. We spend that time and that's what we look at. Personal power, your ability to generate wealth, security, time free. We look at your emotional self. Are you in love with yourself? Are you in love with life? If you're not, let's make that happen. It's just a question of whether you say yes or whether you say no yet again. So jump on over to my website, flow dreaming.com and you'll find there a link, a button, an image. There'll be something where you can learn more about me. So school and set up a time to talk with me and we will get you going. I'll share and answer all of your questions and hopefully be able to start working with you as you discover what your life is really there for and how it really wants to show up for you. So right now go to flowdreaming.com and just get your time scheduled for us to talk and think about may school and where you're going Next. Just get it done. It's past time. And now let's get back to our show. All right, so how are we going to reopen ourselves emotionally and energetically to the world and. Or help other people reopen themselves to us? Well, half the battle is really recognizing when someone, including yourself, is emotionally closed, is emotionally shut down. Most of us just blindly go about our days thinking, oh, they're just grumpy. They're just, you know, whatever it may be without taking a moment to just look in deeper. What shut you down? How long are you going to be shut down for? Are you shut down because you're in a state of healing? Because you're moving through some health crisis? Because you went through something emotionally traumatic and now you're, you know, pulling back and kind of letting your, your psyche just gently refind itself and regain that sense of joy and happiness that you used to have? Hmm. Let's start with a few very simple things. First of all, yeah, you can flow your way open again. You can close your eyes, get into your flow dream, get into your daydreaming and just feel really connected with other people. I'm open to others. I'm open to mystery. I'm open to wonders. I'm open to connection. I'm open to intimacy. In fact, one of my more popular flow dreams in the. In the shop@flowdreaming.com is called Reawakening to Emotional Intimacy. And it's not usually people's first choice, but it's one I recommend so heavily because again, I speak to people all the time. I haven't dated. I don't, you know, I haven't found my partner. What's going on? And I'm like, well, you're pretty shut down, right? You've been disappointed for so long that now when you move forward, you want it, but there's a part of you that's like, yeah, but it's not gonna happen. And your whole energy is sort of, you know, like a, a half filled balloon just popping around on the floor there? Barely. No, no lift. No lift. So reawakening your emotional intimacy means I'm going into flow. And I'm saying, hey, I am worth knowing. I am worth seeing. I love and enjoy engaging with other people. I'm curious about other people. I'm reconnecting to my fellow man, fellow woman. How do you say that anymore? So that's number one, right? This kind of emotional awareness. Oh, I need to reopen myself. I have been shut down for a while. I've been Closed down for a while and we already went through the list of how do you know that you've been that way? Well, maybe you used to go out a lot, now you don't. I was talking with a client just this week, and she's been doing a lot of cleansing, a lot of detoxing, months and months of it. And she was saying how she just doesn't really want to go out with her friends much. You know, she doesn't want to go out to, you know, after work bars, and she just, you know, she just doesn't seem attractive. And I said, yeah, because you're, you're emotionally and energetically closed right now. Because you're cleansing, right? When you're trying to release toxins, whether they're emotional toxins or physical toxins or both, you don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're bringing more stuff into you. You know, you're on outflow mode right now. You're on release mode. But when that's done, you'll notice you'll tend to want to go out again. Right? That will come back to you, that desire to engage with the world. So that's number one. Flow. Flow yourself open before you do anything else. When you start with that emotional work, first life listens to you. Your external world hears what you're doing, shifts around to match. And the external world will now start to say, well, we know you're not ready for that late night comedian friend thing. You're going out with people, whatever. But we do think that you would really enjoy the brunch at church with your friends. Okay. And you'll say, yeah, that's what I want. That's where I want to reengage and go out. That's my stepping back into connectivity, where I'm not going to feel overwhelmed or like people want something from me or I'm trying to get something from them and I'm not. Mm, mm. Flow your way in to the re. Engagement. Flow your way in. Now I want you to carry this through with some more physical ways of being connected and staying connected. So something along the physical realm would be start smiling at people. I know, so simple. But do start smiling at people, right? Smile, you're in you. Like I said, you're at the cash register. Smile. Smile at the person behind you. Smile at your child's teacher. Smile at your co workers, smile at your boss. I know they're going to think you're weird and like, what's wrong? Are you losing it? Smile at them anyway. Have A friendly, open demeanor. And notice, especially when you don't, those of us who've become over busy in our lives, our friendly, open demeanor is the first thing that goes. Because we just don't have time for it. We're so busy, we're thinking about the next thing and all the stuff that has to get done and we're overtired and we're stressed out. We don't have time to smile at other people. My God, if I did that, they might want to talk to me. And if they talk to me, I don't have time for them, you see. But I don't want to end up living that way. I don't want to be that person. So I'm gonna smile. I'm also gonna reach out and do something helpful for other people. I'm gonna get the door for them at the post office when their hands are full of packages, right? If it's my neighbor and they're struggling to get their car out of the snow and I have a few extra minutes, I'm gonna say, can I help you? Can I help you? What can I do? Can I help? Even these little small bits of civility, small bits of help, somebody wants to merge into traffic. And you kind of, every time you do this, do you see what's happening? You're reopening your one awareness of other people's needs, desires and wants. And you're acting on that awareness. Every time you do that, there's like a little energy bridge that gets built going from you out into the external world. And that's what we need to start doing, building lots of these little tiny energy bridges between us and outside of us. Because once all those energy bridges are smashed, you're no longer connected. And look around, right? That's another very easy thing you can do. Look around, try to take in what's around you. I can't tell you how many times, you know, I've walked up to my kids school, I go straight to the office, I got to check them out, we have got to go to like orthodontics or something. And I barely look around that campus. But if I walked a little slower and I took it in, right, I'm taking in, oh, this is what's going on over here and those classrooms and there's some kids over here, right? The very act of my vision is me letting my energy land on something external to me instead of being all wrapped up in my bubble. Looking around is the most basic, obvious, simplest powerful way of moving you outside your bubble and starting that reconnection. Now you can get more complex from here, right? You can start doing things like I'm going to call someone and have a nice conversation that I haven't had in a while. I'm going to send someone an email and make a connection with someone in my work, field of work whom I haven't spoken with in a while. And I'm not going to ask them for anything. This is just a, hey, we haven't spoken in a while and I miss you. And how are things going, right? Creating connection for the sake of connection. Because when you do this, it opens your energy. And when you walk around with wide open, beautiful, sparkling clean, shiny energy. Ta da. What's the end result? A damn good life. Yes. The result is your energy is open and wide. It's receiving it's receptive life flow. Everything in your future can then say, huh, we can give this person something, they are not going to bump it away. And I think that's where we all want to head, right? We all want to be in a generally open, receptive, allowing, connected state of being. Because that's, you know, that's what we're human for. We are not human to walk around in our little bubbles on our phones with our head down, with our shoulders scrunched, with our emotions closed, unengaged. And if the world, if life has done that to you, if things have happened that have led you to that point or someone that you know, the response to that is, how do I get myself out of it again? It's okay, I forgive myself, I'm gentle with myself. I went through some stuff, but I don't want to stay that way because I want my life to be rich, filled, full, interconnected, transparent, loving, joyful. So that's what I'm going to do. So if you want to make a vow right now, what are you going to do the rest of the day? Are you going to say hi to somebody? Are you going to smile? Are you going to look up and look around and really absorb your surroundings? Are you going to start dressing in some brighter colors? Right? You put that yellow shirt on, people are going to look your way and if you're still shut down, you won't see them look at you. But if you're awake and open, your eyes will glance right back, meet theirs and maybe you'll just smile. And that is such an energy shift. It's one of those, you know, slap yourself on the forehead because it's so simple. Energy shifts that end up having a profound change on your life. So to go back to this lovely lady at the party, if she had smiled, if she had reached out, if she had looked around, if she had been open, if she'd said, yeah, let's talk or I'd love to help you or right. It wouldn't have been for me. It would have been because I know she was healed inside. She was not on the defense anymore. Right? She would have been past that. No need for defensiveness. She's got her strong, healthy boundaries. She's not going to cross them. But she also doesn't have to shut everyone down and bump them away with this barrier that's like a two lane road around her you can't get past. That's what I would have loved for her. And I still want this for her to let her energy be wide open and clear. Her boundaries strong but yet have nothing there blocking the world from her and her from the world. So that is what I want to leave you guys with today. And if you want to do some flow around it, I do recommend the Good Friends and Emotional intimacy playlist@flowdreaming.com it does include that flow dream reawakening to love and intimacy. So let's all get our energy bright, wide, shiny and open. And I will talk with you all again next week with more Flow Dreams. That's a wrap for today, but if you want to keep things going, then download my free Flow Dreaming apps. That's right, there's two of them. The first app allows you to listen to this podcast anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search and favorite episodes. The other app hooks you up with my Manifesting Store, which includes an oracle to help you see what direction you most are in need of right now and advice. You can also sample all kinds of Flow Dreams and put together a library of your own. So to find these apps, just search Flow Dreaming in itunes or on your Google App Store.