#590: Trust Yourself - You Know What You’re Doing

Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. And welcome to Flow Dreaming. Hi, everyone, it's Summer McStravik here with you for another episode where we get to roll through your consciousness, through the way you think, the way you feel, the energies and the emotions that you work with, that you encounter, sculpt and create with every single day. This is episode number five. 90. That's right. 590. Oh, my God. It's called trust yourself. You know what you're doing. And I'm really looking forward to kind of digging into this topic because it's one of my favorites. Self trust is just a cornerstone for so much of what I teach and where I lead my students. So without further ado, let's jump into what self trust looks like, feels like, how you know you've got it, why you know you can trust yourself to trust yourself. I know. Talk about a snowball effect, right? First of all, self trust, it's that inner knowing, I can do this, I will do this. This will work out. I make good decisions. I know where I'm going, I know what I want. I'm happy and fulfilled with the things that I'm creating. I'm trusting myself to guide myself, to lead myself in my life. Now, these all sound like obvious statements, but what happens over time in our lives is that our self trust often becomes eroded. Things happen. We break trust with ourself when we don't finish something or we start something and then stop it and then get upset about it or start something and then it fails or flops. And we think, why did I do that? I should never have done that. Should never have dated this person, should never have quit that job, should never have moved. Should never have. Right, this. This list starts to get compiled of all the things where we feel we were wrong, where we were in error. And as that list builds and as we fail to forgive ourselves continuously for the things on this list, you can see this sort of lopsided energy can take hold in our lives. Now, you may not even know if this is you, but if you can say to yourself, I want to do things. I have these ideas for things, but I don't get to them. And I Don't reach them and I don't do them. And I hold back from them and I say, I'll wait a little longer. Or I say, I don't know if that's really right or not. I can't make up my mind. Or you say, I just don't know what the right choice is. These are all clues. Those are all states of being that distinctly show you're not in a state of trust with yourself. Because. And this is where you can turn around and look and say, ah. Cause of this, this, this, this and this. So in flow dreaming, you know, we don't do a lot of work looking backwards. Like, what are all the things that broke your trust? Trust in other people, Trust in the universe, Trust in God, Trust in your body, trust in yourself. There's a lot of things you can lose trust in, and you can make a really long list. And then you can spend years, if you want, in therapy picking them all apart, figuring out which ones were the biggest and the baddest and the Boogeyman estate. Or you could just recognize, hey, I have all of the symptoms right now of someone who's out of a state of trust with herself or himself. Okay, I recognize that. And it's time to clean it up. I need to now start building things that will grow my trust and increase my trust. And here they are. Now this is the turning corner. The turning corner. The turning point. This is turning the corner of the turning point. Yes. Acknowledging to yourself, it's time to grow my trust. That's a big deal because what it says is you have seen something happening inside your life that's showing you. I feel stalled. I feel stymied. I feel unsure, I feel at risk, I feel worried, I feel insecure. I feel like I don't know if I can make this work. I don't know if this is the right thing. I'm indecisive. And it's okay to be these states of feelings. Of course, for a while. All states of feelings are good, by the way, right? Even the ones that we look at and we say, no, I don't like those. I did an episode about hate a few episodes back and I thought it was pretty informative and eye opening. Kind of showed you what hate means, right? It's there for a reason. So being in a state of distrust is also really eye opening and really important. It's saying, hey, I'm imbalanced. And when I'm imbalanced, what do we tend to do? Lockdown, right? We go into lockdown. And when you go into lockdown, it's good because it means you can reassess, take a look at things, figure stuff out, right? You're hitting the pause button. You're not just careening ahead without thought, going in all, who knows, God knows what direction. But when the pause button becomes the permanent stop button, that's when you go, oh, I have a trust issue going on. What do I do? So how do you restructure your inner trust using flow and energy and emotion? What's the starting point? Well, obviously recognition, number one, which we just discussed. But number two, the conscious, clear choice. I am going to grow through this, and I'm gonna grow right past this. I am going to start trusting myself again, whatever it takes. Ooh, right. That was a key word right there. Whatever it takes. What do you mean, whatever it takes? What if it takes everything? What if it takes everything? What, are you afraid there's not more there? We're gonna go into some lack thinking here. You need to know so deeply in your gut, in your heart, in your being why you need your trust restored. You've got to know it. You've got to understand. There is a penalty that I'm paying every day in my life for not restoring my trust in myself. That penalty has become bigger than I want to carry. In fact, that penalty is hurting me more than simply restarting my trust and start taking those risks again. Right? The penalty of not doing has become bigger than the penalty of doing. The penalty of not living has become bigger than the penalty of living. When that feeling is really big and inescapable and all through you and you realize, aha, this is it. This is one of the main things happening. You can't help but feel like, I've got to kick this in the butt, man. I've got to get over this. We need to go past this, you know. Time to un. Hit the stop button, hit the start button. Let's go. And here's what letting go looks like. First of all, I counsel my me school students and my private clients in two different forms of restarting the trust process. One has to do with allowing yourself again to make mistakes, to fail to make bad choices, giving yourself an allowance for it. Go ahead, honey, do some more of that. Fall down a little bit more. You ever seen kids learning to ice skate? It's painful. Talk about learning to walk. I think it's worse learning to ice skate, right? They're just falling all over that hard, cold ice and their noses are all red. It just looks miserable. But you Know with our kids and they have one objective. I'm going to learn to do this. This is fun. I can fall all I want. I am going to do this and I'm going to skate just like my big brother. And right. Because they're all in. When you're rebuilding your trust, you're all in. Your feeling is, I'm gonna fall and I'm gonna fail. And I'm going to allow myself to start doing that again. I might have another crappy relationship. I might waste a lot of money. I might make a bad decision. And you know what? Fine, fine. I'm gonna let go of all of these feelings in me where I say never again. I will never. I will never fail again. I will never make a bad choice again. I will never d of person again. Never, never, never, never. Because usually those nevers lead to now I'm afraid to tries. Because nevers mean you have no wiggle room, you have no out. Whereas if you say I allow it, I don't want it, I'm not seeking it. I'm going to do a whole lot of other things to make sure it doesn't happen. But if it does, it means I'm moving again. At least it means I'm going. Right. That is crucial. That's critical. If you have ever had a big fail, and that's another episode I remember doing a while back, the big fails. It's a good show. I can't remember the number. I should know this before I start. But they just pop back up in my head. Right. So go back through the archives, look it up on itunes. I'm sure you'll find it somewhere. If you can't find it on itunes, by the way, I think they do cut the shows off at a certain number, a couple hundred. I do have an app that you can download in the app store and it will show you all 500 plus shows. And there's a little subscription to get the. To get the much, much older ones, but. But well worth it. Anyway, so the other part of this. Remember I said there were two parts to getting the trust factory steaming again? The other thing I tell my students is this. Trusting yourself takes conscious awareness and practice. Especially when you've gotten in the habit of not feeling in a state of trust. So being in the habit of not trusting usually means I'm in the habit of forecasting lack of right. You've slipped from the trust habit to the scarcity habit. The everything's gonna work out and be okay and I'm gonna be okay habit Too. Everything is not gonna work out. It's not gonna be okay. You better freeze up. You better get defensive. You better cut your losses. Habit. You consciously shift into. No, it's good. And how do you consciously shift? It's not just something you do in your head, right? It's something you flow into. It's something you feel. You have to embo. Conscious practice. It's not just a knowing. It's not just a listening to something and going, aha, I get it. And this is where flow dreaming comes in, right? This is where that five minutes a day comes in, where you say, whoa, I'm trusting myself. I'm gonna feel what that's like right now. I am not filled with lack. I'm filled with bounty. There's so many opportunities ahead of me. I feel myself making good choices, choosing a good direction. I feel myself being gutsy and fearless. I feel. I feel this I'm doing. I feel the emotions of this. And what do these emotions lead me to? All the good things that I'm looking forward to in my life. Because that's really what trust is leading you to. We all have these sets of goals and desires hanging and dangling out there in front of us that we want to get to. And we're all like these little ponies on the carousel going around and round. And sometimes we feel like I'm going in circles, but I'm never reaching a destination. But you always have that thing ahead of you, so we got to get off that carousel, and we need to start walking towards those things. And that means feeling a little wobbly. That means getting off the pause button. That means feeling what it's like to say, I'm moving toward this. I'm choosing toward this. I'm making decisions toward this. I'm taking action toward this. I'm putting my money toward this. I'm putting my time toward this. I'm putting my faith in myself toward this. And I'm doing it. And a little exercise for you right now is you think of one thing that you're in a broken state of trust around. Maybe it's your relationship. Maybe you literally don't trust someone else in your life. Probably means you don't trust yourself either. In some format, you're aligned with that. Maybe you don't trust your work, maybe you don't trust yourself that you'll ever amount to anything more than you've got. So your exercise is to go in and write down this thing that you've broken your trust with, and then write down three actions you can take around. What would I do if I did trust this? What would I do if I did trust it? And trusting means I feel pretty comfortable and confident. Trusting means it will probably work out, but even if it doesn't, I'm going to survive and it's going to be really good for me and very healthy for me to go through this. Right? Trusting doesn't mean blind faith. I only think it's going to work out. Nothing else is even a potential. Because again, when you say that to yourself, what you're really doing is setting up this really high, high bar for you to jump to the point where you freeze up and you won't risk jumping it. So you lower the bar and you say, it may not work, probably will work because I trust myself. And if I do this enough times, over and over and over, what happens is the trust ability. Trust ability, two words inside you begins to grow. You are more and more able to trust yourself because you do it a little and you do a little more and you do it a little more and a little more and a little more. Now, the biggest high flyers, the game changers, the people who are playing at the biggest levels out there, and I know a lot of you, your number one goal. I want to go big. This is my year to turn things around, to make it, to get steady, to get secure, to grow my company, to shift gears, to go into what I really want to become or be or get that relationship, get that body right. We've got these big feelings for ourself. To get there requires you to reboot and restart that trust machine in you. There is no other choice. I mean, if you're fooling yourself, if you think you can do it without making sure that your trust is really strong and vibrant. Right? I've made choices over the last five years, some of which have been calamitous. I mean, just terrible. Huge money losing choices. 70, 80,000 I've probably lost in the last five years just on making bad choices, going in directions that didn't really work, that ended up being not what I really wanted, that didn't give me the emotional endpoints I had been looking for. Should I stop? No. Why? Because I also made a lot of really good choices, Great choices, beautiful choices. Choices that led my family to be closer and more trusting and loving of each other. Choices that did grow my company, did grow, my work did grow, my visibility out there in the world with flow Dreaming and me, school and inflow radio made a lot of good choices, made a lot of cash flow More than much more than what I lost. Good choices in getting a beautiful home that I love. Good choices with my body and my health. Made a lot of good choices. I made some bad choices, but I made some good ones. The point is, I will keep making my choices, knowing some are gonna work and some won't. But I cannot stop making them now. Why do I center so much on choices, choices, choices, Right. Why does that become a centerpiece of trust? Well, I have discovered that trust really can be measured in terms of choices. Right? The choices that you take, the choices that you make directly show us whether or not you're able to trust. No choices, no trust. Lots of choices, lots of trust. So choices to me are the action point. They're the signaler that says you're on track and you're doing it right now. With that, there is one last piece that we couple, and as soon as we get back from break, I'm going to share it with you and maybe we'll just get into that feeling state in our flow of total, rampant, gorgeous trust. So stay with me because I want you to leave today's episode feeling magnificent, in a high state of attunement, a high state of trust. Ready to do that thing that you wrote down earlier that you know you want to do, that you've been waiting for permission to do. We'll be right back. We're on break. And while I give myself a second to regroup, I'd like you to consider what having private mentoring with me would be like. You see, I accept a small number of people each year for private coaching. The question is, what do you want to make? Who do you want to become? We can program and shape any area of yourself or your life. Imagine right now what you would be doing if you had no fear. Imagine how your life would look if there were no patterns and blocks repeatedly tripping you up. Imagine if you were fully healed in your heart, body and mind. Imagine if you also had a map to your success and you could follow it with ease and flow. Well, I look into you and into your life and I feel where you're going and know where the road is open and where it's blocked. I help you make the very best decisions based on what's coming up for you. I'll also show you exactly what I do day to day to succeed in my personal and business life. And we can create a copycat plan for you. So if your game, you can fill out an application on my website for private coaching. Just go to flowdreaming.com coaching and then let's talk. I mean, the time to go, Flora, is now. So let's just get this started now. Let's get back to the show. All right. We talked about what trust is, how you know it's broken, why you need to re cultivate it and repair it. The imperative of taking action around your trust, as well as the reason why making lots of choices signal your state of trust and your state of momentum around rebuilding trust, whether you're doing it or not. So the last piece that I want to share with you, I bet you guessed it, yes, it centers around flow, right? Energy. It centers around this inner knowing, this practice inside yourself of. I feel in a state of trust. I act in a state of trust in my day, but I also feel it. I feel it in my energy. I feel it in my flow. So here's what it looks like when you're trusting yourself. Let's just say that you have a big goal. Let's say that you're supposed to put on a fundraiser and you need this to go really well. And you need to trust that people will love it, that they'll show up, that they'll buy tickets. You need to trust that you'll have lots of donations and you'll raise lots of money. You need to trust yourself that you can pull this off and it's going to be a great big success. So you realize I haven't been making choices. I've been putting things off. I've been kind of slow on this. I've been right, you see, We've been trying to go in all any other direction than jump in, do it, take a chance, make it happen. So you say, okay, I took some action. I really got the action rolling. I started making choices. We're going to have this vendor, we're not going to have that vendor and this caterer. And then we're going to have these people speak and then we're going to have this music and then we're going to do this and that choice, choice, choice. Every time I made a choice, a part of me said, was that the right one? Do you trust yourself? Is this going to work? And then I realized that every time I made a choice, this little lack thought was coming up in me. Like, I don't know. I don't know if you can. I don't know if that's the right one. I don't know if that's gonna be the best. I don't know if that's gonna work out. But you made your choices. Anyway, because you said, I'm gonna stay in a state of trust, which means a state of action. But you can't do all action without preaction, right? You can't do all physical without non physical. And this brings us to this key last point. The feeling state of trust is this. I am making the best fundraiser I have ever made. I am making a fundraiser where people are excited to go. They have one of the best times they've ever had. They love it, they're excited to be there. They speak highly of the whole thing. They are so willing to donate. They are so willing to be part of this, to chip into this. They feel personally involved. This. The climate that I've created is so welcoming, so genuine. Everyone is loving being there. I'm loving being there. I'm loving this whole process. I'm just glowing with joy around this thing that I've created, this fundraiser, this event. I'm just glowing with a feeling of pride. I did this and it's working out and I'm very happy. And I would do this again. I will do this again. I'll do it again and again. This is part of my work or part of my life, my future, what I'm going for. I'll do it as I can do it now, because I know, I know I can do it now. Feel that. Ooh. Just speaking those words makes me want to have a charity event, right? Feel so good, like, oh, I trust myself. Yeah, I love that feeling. Now remember, when you create feelings like this in yourself, what does that do in your flow? What does that do in your energy? Like, begets, like, you create more things that you trust yourself in. The universe trusts you more. Other people trust you more. Everything begins heightening up, scaling up, growing, going bigger. Let's say something happens that knocks a little trust out of you, knocks a little wind out of you. As you're putting the event together, do you swing back into that state of non trust? No, you roll with it. What if the whole event doesn't come together? Worst case scenario, worst case, you're like, no one came. Isn't that the worst feeling that, you know, we foreshadow, that we are concerned about? It didn't work out. I'm not good. I lost money, I looked bad. I didn't fulfill my promise to these people who are doing it with me, whatever it may be. Can you go through that without breaking trust in yourself? Can you go through that and still trust yourself? I could try it again. I could do it again. This isn't all about me. It's about everything. And I'm gonna try. I'm gonna. I'm still going forward. This will not stop me. I can handle this. I am handling this. Next, next, Next. By the way, one of the most powerful words, in fact, our whole next episode is about the power of next. Stay tuned next week. So that's the feeling of trust. Practicing the feeling state. Now, don't rely on just having your actions. You give you this feeling state. I love it when they do. And I want you to have a lot of actions to generate this in you. But I want you to feel it before you even have actions to back it up. Right. Sometimes you want to feel it first and let flow. Come up with ways to help support this feeling. And this is what flow dreaming is. You move into flow and it kind of feels like this. We'll do this very briefly. And if you don't know how to flow, you've got to get my free kit. It's on my website. Teaches you all about flow dreaming. Not a meditation, not creative visualization. It's really a supremely emotional connective method to transform yourself energetically, emotionally, as well as your life. So you close your eyes and you drop into flow state. You relax, you release, you let go. And you start thinking about that thing where your trust isn't quite there. Can I do this? I'm stalled out. I haven't made a decision on this. Maybe there are some trust things here. What if instead I feel really positive about it? What if I flip it? I flip flop the whole thing and I'm feeling excellent. I'm feeling bright. I'm feeling upbeat and buoyant. I'm feeling right now like I've got this. I'm feeling like I'm a natural for this. These feelings are bubbling up in me. It's like I'm at the bottom of a glass and I'm a little fizzy tablet. Bubble, bubble, bubble. Up I go all through my energy, all through my flow. And I feel myself rocking and moving forward. And in the flow of my life, I'm a little boat on a stream that's flowing and floating forward. I can feel that movement murmuring around me, carrying me feels so good. I feel so effortless. My life is just carrying me forward in every second, in every moment. And I'm feeling how what I'm doing, what I'm doing, thinking of what I'm putting myself into is really working. And I'm really proud and really happy with myself as I do this. I feel so generous and at ease with myself. So trusting of myself. I don't know if I'll be successful or not. That's besides the point. What I am feeling is that I trust myself with this. I've got this. I've made a really good decision. Because whether it works out or not, it's mine. And I love it. And I'm in for the long game here. And my long game means more feelings like this. Hey, life, future. I trust myself. I trust you. I trust that things are working out. I trust things are going splendidly. I trust that I'm supported. I trust that I'm directed. I trust that I. I'm growing. I trust that I have plenty of everything that I need. Plenty of resources, plenty of support. I just trust. I trust and I trust and I trust. And it feels so good. And why not stay in the state of being? Why should I feel any other way? Why would I let fear chip in? Why would I let worry and doubt and reactionary feelings come into my life? What are they gonna do for me? Nothing. A big fat nothing. They're just there to scare me. They're trying to make me be cautious. I can be cautious without them. I can be cautious and in a state of beautiful and gorgeous trust. That's what I'm practicing. I practice cautious, beautiful, deep trust. And I'm feeling it now. Yes, I'm gonna go for it. I'm gonna do it. And I can just feel. It's like a little wheel turning, something clicking into place. It just goes right there, click, inside of me. The little knob turns. And yes, the decision has been made. The choice is chosen. The thing has begun. I move forward. I'm in a state of gorgeous, beautiful trust. And I will stay that way in myself. I promise. There is no other way. I want to live. I want to be. That's how I feel. I feel it now. I feel it in flow. And I stay there. Even as I realize I'm coming back out and returning my awareness back, back from flow. And I open my eyes, There you are. How do you guys feel? Feel right? Different. Changed. At the very least, you should feel as if your energy has opened up in a different direction. It's going in a little bit of a different way. You should feel at least a little bit different than when you started listening to the beginning of this episode. On the other hand, if you really got it, you're raring to go. You realize that everything that you felt and that you saw in there made perfect and total sense. It was actually very rational and therefore you're all in and you're raring to go now. What if you gave your life this energy, this kind of flow, this five minutes every single day? You poured this into your life over and over and over again. Don't you think you as a person, as a being would start to change? Wouldn't you change? You would have to change. It would be like if you screamed at someone in anger every single day. Don't you think you as a person would start to change? You'd say, well, yeah, I'd probably become unhappy and bitter and upset and frustrated and. Right, you would. But what if you feel the opposite? What if you do the flow? What if you did what we just did every day? You would become that person. It would become second nature. It would become super easy for you. And what's more, your life would then reflect that back to you. And bingo. That is the whole point of what we do. So, you guys, that wraps my show for today. I want to invite you, those of you who are participating in Five Days in Flow with me. It's something that I'm doing right now. If you're listening within a day or two or the week that I have released the show, then come join me. I'm in Facebook right now and I'm doing some Facebook lives where we're getting together in video and we're doing this process totally free. And I've picked a theme and we're exploring it each week. So come check it out and if I'm not doing it, come to my website and get my free kit. Get on my email list. I know email is so old fashioned, but it's still where I do the majority of my communication. Because I'm old school. I like to write stuff out. I like to write out my thoughts. And if you don't like that, then come to my Instagram. I'm ummermcstravik. Now, today, I did not read one of my itunes reviews like I normally do. I will get back to that shortly. But for those of you who have left a review recently, I really love you guys. You get my extra special sugar and spice and love and energy tossed and sprinkled at you because you've really decided to kind of help me back. If I've helped you, you say, all right, I'll do this back for you. And I love that so much. So please, please, please subscribe and write a review on itunes. Even if it's just to give it some stars with no words, it still counts. And my big, big, big thanks. Okay, everybody. Love you all, and I'll see you next time for more Flow Dreaming. That's but if you want to keep things going, then download my free Flow Dreaming apps. That's right, there's two of them. The first app allows you to listen to this podcast anywhere you want on your mobile device, as well as search and favorite episodes. The other app hooks you up with my Manifesting Store, which includes an oracle to help you see what direction you most are in need of of right now and advice. You can also sample all kinds of Flow Dreams and put together a library of your own. So to find these apps, just search Flow Dreaming in itunes or on your Google App Store.