#604: Defending Your Limitations? I Think Not.

You know, it's weird how we know that we have blocks and we have patterns, and there are stopping points in our life that we hit over and over again. And we know that these are our limitations, right? These are the things that we can't seem to get through. These are the repetitive things. The business that you just can't build, the relationship that just won't happen for you. The health problem that just won't happen go away. The inner feelings of worth and ability that prevent you from kind of moving to your next level, Right? And you're in personal growth, obviously. That's why you're listening to this show, so you know all about limitations. So my question for you is, why do you spend so damn much time defending them? Why do you say, I want to change them, but your actual actions uphold them over and over again? And you say, but, Summer, I know. And if I could just see when I'm doing it. Well, I'm gonna help you today. We're gonna figure out and you're gonna see when you're defending your limitations what it looks like, and I'm gonna point you on a little roadmap on how to stop doing it. That's why we're doing episode 604 of Flow Dreaming. Defending? I think not. Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief, and that is what being aware of your Flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStravik, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Before we jump into our limitations today and starting to uproot some of them, and for goodness sakes, never defending them again, I have a big ask for you guys. Some of you have been listening to this show since 2005. I'm up above 600 episodes of flow Dreaming. I just can't even believe it. Like, how have I. I had that much to say. Sometimes I just kind of blow my mind. But what it means is it's always necessary to kind of refresh. And there are a lot of personal growth podcasts out there right now. And while Flow Dreaming is kind of a big daddy of them all, it doesn't mean that it doesn't need your subscriptions and especially your reviews. So if you were to take a minute and pop onto itunes or Google Play, wherever you're listening to this right now, there will be a place for you to review the show, your review could be anything from I've been listening for X number of years or months or I just discovered it or wow, there's something unique and interesting here, or I hate it. This. This darn lady should have shut up about 400 episodes ago. Whatever you want to write, really put it out there. It helps other people look at it like this. For every review that you write or every time you subscribe to this show, basically you're creating access for about 5 more people to discover the show. That's huge. That's really meaningful. That's five more people's lives. People you don't even know, but you're impacting them and you're setting them on a new track. So reviewing does more than just, you know, giving me feedback. It actually opens the door to other people, and it is the very best way to do it. You cannot buy advertising for a program that in any way equals someone's honest to God review of it. So that would be my big ask in return for some of the good yumminess that I'm hoping you're getting from our show today. So, reviews, reviews, reviews, my friends. And if you're really in a review mood, you can also go to flowdreaming.com and review any of the flow dreams that you you own. Meaning, just tap in a few words about them. Like, I listen to this one every day before work, or, you know, I use this one to help me find a new house, or I use this one to work through some relationship issues. And it was amazing. Any of that. So, so, so, so, so, super helpful. Okay, so with that, and by the way, I'm gonna get back to reviewing some of your reviews. That's not what I meant to sharing some of your reviews. Like I was doing a few episodes back. So we'll jump back into that beautiful little collection of gemstones I can share with everybody. So, limitations. Let's dig in. A lot of what I do in MI School, and MI School is my mentorship program. Some people call it a coaching program. I really call it a teaching program. It's where you go to learn a different way of living, and you get to practice this way of living, and you get to see results in your life because of this way of living. It pays for itself multiple times over in terms of your joy, your happiness, even your income in many instances. And one of the big components that we tackle really early on in the program is limitations and our tendency to want to defend those things that hold us back and hold us down. It's almost like there's this part of us that wants to challenge life and say, look, this is why this happens to me. And I've figured it all out. I know why it happens and it's going to happen. And here's why it's happening. And I totally know this. And then we feel kind of okay with it. Like, yeah, this is why I stop here. And this is what's broken, and this is what I'm healing and what I've been healing for months or years or my whole life. And this is the thing that I just can't get past or beyond. And this is where I'm afraid, afraid. This is where I play small. This is where I retract any of the language that hits you. This is where I get triggered. Ah, I love this. It means you spent enough time exploring and you figured out these pieces. Excellent. But this is often when people kind of stop. They're like, yeah, now that I've seen it, it's great. Yeah, now I want to get rid of it, but I can't get rid of it because I have this watertight explanation for why have it. And the bigger and better your explanation is, the more you trap yourself from giving it up. So let's. Let's give an example here, like a real life example. Maybe I'll draw it as a composite from some of my students. Not any particular person, just something that I tend to hear. Someone will say to me. And I work with a lot of entrepreneurs, been veering more and more in that direction. They're my team of makers, people who create things. A lot of them are entrepreneurs. And they say, I'm going to build this practice. It's my side gig, or it's going to be my new thing. And I just don't know what to do next. There's too much to do. I have too much information. Yet when I try and do it, none of it works out for me. What's wrong? What's stopping me? How come I'm not successful? You know, it's weird, but I'm often not successful. And so we dig in and I say, well, tell me where you've stopped and why you stopped. And you'll say, well, this week, you know, I didn't get as much done because I had, you know, to take care of my mom and she needed a lot of assistance. And so, you know, I really didn't, you know, my mind wasn't there. And I said, what about last week? Well, last week I put a lot into it. But then I stopped, but I want to pick it up again. But still nobody's really responding and nothing is really happening. And I'm starting to say, mm, mm. What we're doing is we're looking for a pattern. What is it that you normally and always do as you approach this thing that you make? And you might say, well, I often get really excited and I get going and. And then I tend to drop it. And then I tend to get distracted by other things that really genuinely important. I mean, moms are really important. Like. I know, but why did this take you off your target? Well, I only have so much time in a day. I really. I can't. Like. Well, maybe you could rebalance things a bit better. No, I really can't. I've got my mom and I've got my real job and I've got my, you know, my partner, and I've got all in my. And my exercise, which I also don't do. And I just can't do it all. Go. Okay, now we're getting to something. Can't do it all, huh? Well, that sucks. When are you gonna be able to do it all? I don't know, Summer. That's why I'm here in me school. I want you to tell me, like, well, why can't you do it all? Because I never have enough time. Because there's always something that gets in the way. Because. Right. And then this is when the good stuff happens. Because I'm starting to see the list pop up of why you can't, why you can't. And I might even give my student an exercise. Tell me all the reasons why you can't. Tell me all the reasons why you can't. Then we go to the next step. Do you want to keep having this be true for you? Because as long as your heart embraces, as long as your mind embraces why you can't, the more you argue and fight for why you can't, the stronger your building the why you can't. And you say, yeah, but if I just say that I can. I'm bull. Can I say that bullshit, right? Yeah. I'm making it up. It's not really true because I really can't. And now I'm just faking it. Like, okay, do you guys see what I'm going for right here? What I'm trying to really get to? It's this. It's this moment inside of you where what you're saying is there is no possible way for me to change. And here' because this has been real for me, this has been my experience. And now you're telling me that it's not real anymore. You're telling me my life and my conclusions and my intelligence are all bogus and wrong. And I say, no, they're actually not bogus and wrong. They've just been true until now. Do you want to make a new truth or not? And the answer is, well, yeah, I do. I want to make a new truth. I just don't know how. And I said, well, the first thing you have to do is start rejecting the old truth. I don't care how real it's been for you. I know it's been real for you. But nothing's gonna move if you keep sticking with that. This means new territory. This means you're gonna feel wobbly and weird and deeply insecure, oftentimes because you're gonna do things that are not the same as you were doing before. You're gonna do the very things that you have been saying for so long make you fail. Cause you to fail won't work. You don't have time for. You're actually gonna be doing these and discover I do have time for them. I can pr. Simply haven't because of. And then we get into the deeper layers. There's always a because of, but we'll get there. The first part is for you to say, all the reasons why I say I can't are now totally, completely deadly wrong. Now what? Now there's an empty field. What do you replace that with? You've been really invested all this time in these explanations, in defending this. And maybe you've even come to me because you trust me and you've seen me do a lot. I've been through and created and built and made a lot. So you're like, well, Summer got through it. She must know how. Maybe she can get me through it. And you know what? Maybe I can. Because I'm going to show you what I did. That's my job, to show you what I did and what I continue to do and ask you. You can do this with me, or you can continue to tell me why it's impossible, why it won't go away, why it won't change, why it's still broken, why you don't have time for it, why you keep falling short of it, why nobody likes you, why nobody's coming to you, why on and on and on and on and on. But that is not why you're here. That's why you're still listening 13 minutes in when a lot of Other people would have turned it off and said, ooh, that's a tough one. I don't want that one today. I really like that joy one she did last week. And now she's talking about this. What the hell? But this is the kind of fearlessness, this is the kind of growth that I also practice and preach. And the strongest people in my sphere, in my life, do this too. These are the strongest people. There are, people I personally rely on, come to talk with. They do this and they feel this way, and they're not different than you. If that's one of your limitations too, get rid of that one. Not as good as, let's get rid of that one too is the very first thing. And this is all we're doing in today's episode, getting you to recognize. Are you coming to someone like me so that I can override your limitations, so that I can actually make you be wrong? Do you need my authority and power to bring you to that point of revelation because you're such a fighter? You need someone stronger than you even to make it real clear? If that's what you need, fine. I'm down for it. Maybe not, though. Maybe you're able to just do it on your own. In which case, tell me, write down, think about it. As soon as this episode is over, don't just flick on another episode immediately. Spend some time thinking, where do I always tell myself I can't and it won't work and it's never worked and everything I try fails. All of those, those right there, that is forming the ceiling that you can't get past. Believe me, there is a ton above that ceiling. Your whole life is waiting for you to get beyond that ceiling. But this is a big nut to crack, and it's very crackable. That's the irony, right? It's so crackable. There's tools, there's ways of doing this, there's methods. You know all that done for you formula, stuff that's out there. Well, if I could borrow from all of my business coach peers, there's a done for you formula for cracking the seat, getting past limitations. But it takes thought, takes effort. It takes a joyful embrace. It takes you saying, damn it, I'm actually I'm ready. I'm tired of saying, I'm almost ready, or next year, I'm ready, or as soon as this other thing is over, I'll be ready. All of those are delays. I don't have time. I'm not ready. Delay, delay, delay. Cause you're trying to make Yourself feel more ready. You're trying to weight it so that you can feel weight W e I G H t and W a I t. You're trying to weight it so that you have the best chance of success. You know what often happens, though? Well, the very fact if you're not progressing your flow dreaming, practice and, or in me school and, or you've been loving these teachings and, or you like what I'm always leading you into, then it's obvious the universe is shoving something in front of you. You saying, why are you waiting to try to get a better position to go in? Maybe that's one of your ceilings. This fear of failing, of not being ready, of crashing and burning again. Let's get through that one. Don't wait, don't wait. Let's look at these limitations. Let's crack them up. Start with here's why I can't. Here's why it doesn't work. Here's why it never works. Let's start with those. Those are beautiful openings. Those are doorways in and through. They're not things to reject or not think about or put down. They're your first doors to move through. All that beautiful stuff that you're after is on the other side. And I know because I've been taking people to the other side and I've been watching them walk through themselves to the other side. Don't all just think it's me. It's not. It's you. But I've been doing that for more than a decade. I've seen a few things. I've been. I've been in one or two rodeos. So please, if anything, trust me that it's. It's real and it's true and there is a path and there is a pretty clear way. So I'd be happy to take you into that, to take you further with it. All you have to do is go to my website, look for me, school, and get a hold of me, and I'll have a real conversation with you on the phone about it. And if you're still like, whoa, this is my first ever podcast. What is she talking about? Why should I do this thing? I was loving everything until she said I had to go join something. Fine. That's okay, too. Wherever you're at is good. Listen to more podcasts. Play with some flow dreaming. Get into the technique, see if it works. If it does work, take the next step. If it doesn't work, move on. We're all unique and individual, but if you're here and if you really have reached the end of this episode, it's telling me a lot about you. It's telling me you're bold and you face things and you're fearless and any of these limitations are cotton candy and let's get through them. So I'm gonna wrap that up, wrap up our episode, wrap up our show today, tell you how much I love you and adore you. And you, in turn, love and adore everyone around you, even the people who drive you crazy. They're there for a reason, too. And with that, I hope to hear from some of you. And I also am happy to see more of you next week for another episode of Flow Dreaming. Hey, friends, let's just take a second to point out a few really awesome resources for you every week. You hear me do this program as I wax on about some particular aspect of energy or life or growth. But I also have an amazing website that's filled with a decade of information all on the same things, including the Flow Dreaming shop, where you can find all sorts of flow dreams, over 150 of them, that will help you fix up and shape up all different areas of your life. By the way, all the Flow Dreams can be listened to on your phone or mobile device. You just have to have the app for that. So if you don't have that yet, just open up your app store in whatever kind of device you're on and download Flow Dreaming. You'll find a couple of apps. Actually, they're both free, and that will help you get even more deep into the world of Flow. And with that, we're back to the program.