659: Manifesting Advice for People in Their 40s - Bonus Episode

The big 4o. Oh, you know what I'm talking about. That moment when you cross the bridge from your 30s to your 40s. That moment when you become infinitely wise. You pass from the priestess to the crone. It's that moment when you realize, oh, oh, I'm hitting the middle road here of my life. Oh, my God. Welcome. We're talking today about manifesting for people in their 40s. It's episode number 659 of Flow Dreaming. And we're going to dig into what it means to live in this era if you're not there yet, what it's going to be like when you get there. If you've already been there, it'll give you some beautiful reflection on what the heck you were doing in it all that time. Stay with me. Flow Dreaming. It's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief. And that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStravik and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. All right, as someone who has very recently left my 40s, we're talking within the last month here. The 40s is very fresh in my mind. And as I do this survey of the decades of manifesting, the decades of co creating, whatever you want to call it, in my world, its Flow Dreaming, I found it to be personally really informative. I've been able to look back and get a real strong understanding for what I was doing, when I was doing it, why I was doing it, as well as the things I did not yet know that I was heading toward. So we're jumping into the 40s. If you haven't listened to the 20s or 30s, please jump in. You don't have to just listen to your own decade. But here in the 40s, or excuse me, most recently in the 40s, I'll tell you, we did the survey of the 20s where you are building, you are searching, you are figuring out, you're taking lots of risks or maybe starting to fall back from them and getting that pattern started. In the 30s, the building intensifies, the families are starting and growing, the jobs are getting more pinpointed and clear. The 40s is where a certain always mess up. This word maturation, did I say that right? Well, I'm not gonna pause and look it up. A certain maturity starts to develop. And by maturity, I don't always Mean wisdom. I just mean we've been through a lot by now. Like, we've done it. Many of us start manifesting in our 40s for our health. Whereas in our 20s and 30s, things may have just started to kind of pop up and catch our eye. Like, you know, I gotta get this baby weight off, or, you know, oh, I've got something on with the skin. Or by the 40s, we're starting to realize our bodies really need us. And there are some things that can start, you know, being a blinking light, losing weight, our bodies shifting, going into perimenopause. If you're a woman, your body starts to take a lot more focus. On the other hand, the things that we're manifesting in our home life also start to shift hugely. Oftentimes it's a period when you're trying to figure out, what do I want personally in my life, in my relationships. Whereas in the previous decades, you might have been thinking more about, what am I building, what am I making? Where's my career going? What am I going to be, you know, known for? In the 40s, you're starting to say, do I want to keep doing this? Oh, my God, I'm trapped in this. Or, wow, I need to start making more money because I've got retirement coming up. The shift is that in our careers, things become a lot more serious. They start to feel more weighty, and the ability to shift and change and flow and glide on the winds of your own inner development and joy can diminish. Because we're paying for stuff now. Mortgages or car payments, kid payments, alimony, palimony, all kinds of things. Taking care of our parents at some point in our 40s starts to come be a thing, and a lot of our focus shifts towards safety. How do I make my career safe? How do I make sure my retirement is safe? How do I get my kids safely launched? How do I safely take care of my parents? Can you feel this? There's like a weight that I'm describing that we often enter into in the 40s. And this weight, you know, it's like throwing rocks in a net, floating in the ocean. The weight can kind of take that net down. It's not floating as freely. It's not flowing as easily. Everything has a bit more calculation to it. I was talking with a ME school student a couple days ago, and she was saying, well, you know, I'm only 41 and I've been doing my career for 15 years, and I suppose I could still switch because I've got at least 15 more years of work ahead of me. And I'm just bouncing down, up and down in my seat here going, yes, yes, you can. Yes. If I were still 41, oh, my God, yeah. I would be like, yes, I can do this. But when I think of myself when I was actually 41, I was like, no, I can't. I can't shift now, boy. No way. It's too late. Too late. But it's not too late. In fact, your 40s is when a lot of people are starting to say, wake up, man. I did this for 20 years. It sucks. I don't want to do it anymore. I'm done with this industry. I'm done. I'm done with this relationship. So the 40s is a real grab bag, right? It's a real mix of energies. But there seems to be two energies that lock heads, that lock horns the most. Safety versus freedom, right? Safety versus freedom. The safety of, I've got to keep building. I've got to get that retirement going. I've got to take care of the parents. I've got to. And the freedom of, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to be in this marriage anymore. I don't want to have to stress about this anymore. I want to find my passion. I want to fill up my well, I want to go my own way. And this starts to be the kind of dominating beat of our manifesting. A lot of our manifesting, in fact, starts to surround the question of what the heck do I want? Like, in what measure do I want safety versus freedom? And maybe can those two both go together? Can I have both? And, you know, a lot of times we think we can't. This is something again. It's one of the core teachings in flow dreaming. In me school and in my programs, it is possible to have so much safety that you are free. And that is exactly what we're going for. To have so much safety that it creates freedom so that those two walk hand in hand and they stop battling one another. Because in the 40s, you can really feel the pinch of that battle. I really want to quit. I can't. I got to stay here a little longer. I've got to, or I'll have to start all over again or. I've been single for years now. You know, my marriage ended in my 30s, and I just haven't been able to rebuild it since then. The forties is where things start shaking out, right? And become more clear. Like the real clear stuff. The real parts of your Heart and your life, they start to rise and float to the surface, whether you want them to or not. They rise to the surface and they start saying, look at me, look at me. Please pay attention. Pay attention, please. Here's what my heart wants. My heart wants to know where I'm going. My heart wants to feel joy and happiness. My heart wants to feel freedom. My heart wants to feel safety. My heart wants to know that the next 10, 20, 30 years of my life are going to be filled with joy and happiness. My heart wants to make sure that all the choices I've made till now are not the things that determine, like an iron stamp, the rest of my life. My heart still wants to maintain this flexibility and this freedom to change and grow, knowing that I will be successful just as I've been successful in the past. You feeling this? If you're in your 40s, you might be just be like, yes, sing it, Summer. You know? Yes. And maybe you're saying, I didn't experience any of those things yet. I'm still trying to get to those things. I don't have the career yet. I don't have the relationship yet. That's okay. In your 40s, it's still going to become a more bigger deal for you. Your manifesting is going to surround this area. I want to feel safe and I want to feel free. I want to feel purposeful. I want to feel direction. I want to feel that I found my purpose or my passion. I want to know that I've made a difference and I'm making difference. In your 40s, you know, we're more grounded. We're starting to notice that things are not taken for granted anymore. Our health, our finances, our relationships, the people we love. We're not taking them for granted as much as we used to. And what that means is we can start to get more clingy with them now that we're aware of the transience of life, meaning the ability of things to kind of flow through, be here and then go away. We try to squeeze on and hold them. And some things we realize we've been squeezing and holding for so long no longer fit us. It's a transformational decade. The inner transformation that you experience in your goals, in your manifesting, is so different than the exploration, the exploratory feeling of your 20s, or the put the stake in the ground and dig deep and build of the 30s. The 40s, is, I gotta transform this. Now I know me. Now I know me. I can't tell you how many people I've Talked to who've said, yeah, I didn't really get to know myself until my mid-30s, 40s. I finally figured out what I want, who I am. You ever had that experience where you discover something about yourself you never knew was there? Sometimes it can be something kind of crummy. Sometimes it could be something beautiful, brilliant. But you say, I'm shocked. I did not know that I was capable of this. I did not know that this was in me. I did not know that I'd be okay with this. I did not know that I could actually ascend and becomeness. That's what happens in your 40s. You go, wow, it's transformation. This also makes sense why so many of us pick up our personal growth in our 40s, right? Because the 20s, we were just having a good time playing, running around, enjoying things, having relationships, having lots of dramatic moments. 30s, God, our heads are down. You know, we're working hard at the potter's wheel. You know, we're just grinding, trying to make something work, build. 40s, we look up in a daze and say, where have I been? Wait, what am I doing? Wait, do I want to keep doing this? Hold on. What? Transformation, reevaluation and a noticing. Especially, how much of ourselves have we allowed to get safe and stuck versus how much of ourselves are we allowing to be free flowing, growing and reinventing? And there is sometimes a little irritation right there where those two energies clash in our lives. And that can make us feel confused. It can make us feel stuck, grounded down, burnt out, just plain old unsure. But I want you to hear from me right now, this is normal. I mean, this is so normal, I can't even tell you how normal this is. I know, because I would say 60% of the people I work with are in their 40s, which means that 50s, 60s, 30s, and 20s are only accounting for, what, 10% each? Perhaps maybe a little bit more. Maybe 50% are in their 40s. I don't know, there seems to be like a bell curve. Late 20s, peaking around 40s, 50s, and then declining in the 60s and 70s. Because you guys, you're here, you're here with me, right? Like I said, I just turned 50 and I'm shaking my head, saying, what the heck was I doing in my 40s? Very interesting. Now, what should I be manifesting? What should I be doing? What's gonna give me the biggest bang, the biggest effect? Well, one thing is that in your 40s, your energy can often become really clear. You know, it's like it's not as broken or muddled or especially impacted by other people. There's a lot of this shaking your head from the cobwebs type thing. This doesn't always happen overnight. You know, this can be something that was a decade, you know, coming on, but you end up with this reservoir of energy, desire, and sometimes you don't even know where you want to put it. Like, I don't. If I, somewhere, if I knew my life purpose, I'd be. All in all, my energy, though, is just boiling in a circle around having the desire for my life purpose. And I'm like, right there, that's enough, right? You've got the energy. You just don't have a place to apply it to yet. But you've got the energy. A deep, burning, yearning desire for reinvention, for more happiness, clarity on what makes you happy, the kind of people in your life who make you happy, what you really, really want. That's the manifesting energy that you should be jumping into. You know, jump in like you're jumping in a nice hot tub on a cool night, it should feel great. And let go of, what if it doesn't work? What if I'm screwing up? What if I can't reinvent myself? What if this bad thing happens? What if, what if. Let go of all that. If you don't let go of that, if you don't transcend that, if you don't push past that energy in your 40s, then your 40s, 50s, 60s, and 70s will look exactly the same. You will have gotten stuck right there at Bing, whatever age that came up most in you. If you're unhappy, decade number 50 is going to be that way. 60, I don't know, maybe it'll break further down the line. My point is, this is the time to make the shift. This is the time to make the re emergence. This is the time to put your cards on the table and say, this is the kind of relationship I want and need. We're gonna make it together or we won't. It's the time to put your cards on the table at work and say, this is what lights me up, makes me happy, what I'm best at. If you can give me the resources to be able to do this, I will be the best person ever. This is the time to put your cards on the table in your heart with life and say, I'm going for it. I'm going to be richer or buy my house or make the new career shift, or put your cards on the table, commit to that, own that in you. It's the time. Don't let it slip by. Don't wake up in your 50s scratching your head, saying, damn, I should have done that in my 40s. And you might be tempted to say, damn, I should have done it in my 30s. The problem is in your 30s, that wasn't even in your head yet, but it was in your 40s. Again, I just want to say, you guys, I am generalizing these decades. You know, I mean, 30s for you might be 35 to 45, 40s for you might be 45 to 55. It's totally individual. I am generalizing. But what I hope you're really, you know, your heart is responding to is she's nailing a certain thing. I've felt before that I've been in that phase before. Not only is she nailing it, but she's giving me a way to walk through it, to make it to the other side. And not just make it, but make it beautifully to surf to the other side, you know, to, you know, snowboard to the other side, to glide, dance to the other side. That's the purpose of your manifesting. It's about personal power, personal ownership, transformation, becoming clear and becoming fearless, even as you shift and create that greater amount of stability and greater amount of freedom. If anything, I would go out on a limb and say you're getting the most deepest personal growth work done in your 40s. Even if you're full in, all in, in your 30s, in your 40s, there's just more enlightenment, I think, to be had, because you've had now, you know, at least two, two and a half decades of this more mature awareness of yourself, and somehow it seems to start coalescing together right on time. Please remember that if you're feeling this, it's right on time. What do they call it? The midlife crisis. A lot of us had a midlife Crisis in our 30s. I want you to know it was the, oh, my God, am I doing the right thing? I need to be seen at work. I'm breaking down. I'm not building the thing I want to build. It's a different kind of crisis. The 40s crisis is, I'm hoping, not a crisis for you. Instead, it's like shaking yourself awake. Rip Van Winkle coming out of that little fairy mound and saying, wow, where have I been? Wow, you know what I want now? I know. I know what I want. And that's where your manifesting really starts to get powerful. Because when I say, now I know what I want, I know some of you are still saying, I don't know what I want, Summer. I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. I know, but I know that you know how you want to feel when you grow up, right? Nod your head. You know how you want to feel when you grow up. We all pretty much have figured this out. I want to feel freedom. I want to feel safety. I want to feel financially safe and secure. I want to feel loved. I want to feel purposeful. I want to feel passionate and jazzed up again about my life. I want these feelings like you will have your specific list. That is the blueprint right there. I mean, I know you've been trying to force yourself to look for something else, the pieces that are gonna fall into that blueprint. But you've got that blueprint now. Now your manifesting is around that blueprint. My work makes me feel lit up, charged up, excited, happy, rewarded, respected. Seen you fill up the rest. My personal inner self, me, I feel renewed. I feel passionate. I feel awake. I feel fearless. I feel like I want to just bite down on those things that I enjoy. I want more and more of that. If I love making pies, I'm going to make pies every weekend. Maybe I'll even have my own pie shop. Whatever it is, I'm doing it. I'm making it. I'm being it. That has woken up in me, and I said yes. And I'm manifesting around that. Fill me up. Fill up my pantry. Fill up my well. I'm tired of feeling tired. I'm tired of feeling worn out. I'm tired of feeling pulled in too many directions. I'm tired of feeling stuck in these things that I don't like anymore. Pull me out. Help me feel this way. This is your manifesting. Are you guys getting it? I'm trying to approach it from all these different angles. If it feels like I'm saying the same thing now over and over, I am. I am saying it from different angles. I want one of them to really hit you, like, get into your heart. The forties is the time when you do this, when all the stuff you've been making really shakes out. And the evaluation point comes, you know, the 40s is when you have your yearly sort of evaluation with your boss, you know, for your raises or your performance. Except we get that not each year. We get it in our 40s. And we are the ones evaluating ourselves and, frankly, making changes based on that. And these changes now start to drive your ship into new waters for the next several decades. Of your life. And it's funny too, because in the 40s, we start to think, well, I don't know, the next few decades of my life, I still feel pretty energized. Like, early 40s, you're feeling energized. By the time you're 48, 49, you're starting to think, whoa, I don't know. I don't have the energy I had at the beginning of this decade. I know, where's your ship going? Maybe you're starting to wake up to things that you're going to pursue more in your 50s, like, what's my end game? Right? How do I really want to finish up my retirement? Or what am I going to do with this body of work or this business that I created? How will I pass it on to the kids or sell it or shut it down? Where am I gonna take all this? How do I wanna be living day to day? How do I wanna give back to the world? Is it gonna be time for me to give back? These are gonna open up for you in your fifties, but you've gotta get through the crunch of the forties. When you get through the crunch of the 40s, if you have doubled down on your personal growth, your personal awareness in your 40s, you can skate through your 50s. At least that's what I'm feeling. This is the era yet that I can't say I've done. But this is what I'm feeling because I know what, having moved through a lot of real tough stuff in my 40s ended up yielding to me. And I'm walking now into my 50s with my pockets full of information that the 40s gave to me. In my 40s, I was able to make the personal agency, the personal inner power, so that when I needed to make a shift, I had the ability to do it. You know what I'm saying? A big shift. For some of you, it's getting married for the first time, or adopting a child, or having in vitro and starting a family later, or getting married, finally finding that soulmate, or completely throwing out an old career and starting over, or dealing with a devastating diagnosis and factoring that into your life, right? You are rich from those experiences. In your 40s, they gifted themselves to you so that in the decades ahead, you could say, I figured those out. I went through them, I did those. I became strong. The 40s can make you really strong. And remember, if you're listening to this right now and you're saying, nope, I feel the weakest I've ever felt, I Feel the most lost. I don't have the sunny, you know, happy feelings that I used to have in my 30s. You still have time. Do it anytime. It just means that you've ground to a halt and not made that leap yet. You will make that leap. You will make that leap into awareness. You have to commit to it, though. You have to commit to not staying in that flat, empty, broken space in your 40s. Things can often break before they renew themselves in a much more glorious and beautiful shape. More clear, safe, free, transparent. But you have to commit to that and say, that's truly what I want. I'm going to give you a referral to some flow dreams that can help you with these processes. And admittedly, I have a lot of these flow dreams in my web shop@flowdreaming.com because frankly, I've made a lot of flow dreams in my 40s, so they're really hitting on some of these themes. I'd like you to take a look at the Unleash Gorgeous New Directions playlist. Unleash Gorgeous New Directions. This is a series of these flow dream like meditations. Very active, emotional, beautiful feeling meditations that help you really own and discover the fact that you can transform. And that beautiful direction is there for you and waiting and you're embracing it and you're feeling it happen even now. There is the Confident playlist, because Sometimes in our 40s, our confidence kind of breaks and shatters and we think, am I still. Is anybody swiping left on me or swiping right? I don't know which way it goes. I've never been on Tinder, but am I still good in the gameplays? You know, Confident is a really good playlist for you. And then there were some meditations like Wondrous Change and Transition. This is one that helps you move through big changes in your life. Or healing my relationship or releasing my relationship. These are all flow dreams for you in your 40s. Making things become really clear, smooth, powerful, rich, purposeful. Making these things not feel like an accident or a terrible thing, making them feel like this is important and powerful. And of course, all the health flow dreams, I'm healing myself, I'm attending to my body, I'm taking care of it as it shifts and changes needs more attention from me. All of these you can play with in your 40s. That is where your manifesting should go. And if this spoke to you, drop me a note, let me know. I love, by the way, your emails. I don't always mention that, but you email me There's a good chance I'm going to email you back. Just let me know if you're enjoying the podcast. You know, another thing that I would absolutely adore is if you found somebody in your life that would love the podcast too, and you shared it with them. And you know what else I'd really, really love? Speaking of, you know, utilizing your network to full advantage, you guys are my network. If you know anybody who works at, say, Apple or itunes, give them a holler. Tell them this is a podcast you should take a look at. Oh, my God. That would be like a blessing from the universe dropped in my lap if you were the one who did that. So I'm going to wrap things up and I'm going to remind all of you in your 40s, manifest, flow dream, Recreate and create. This is when you really get it figured out. This is when the deeper level, the deeper understandings start to really come into being in your life. It is power, power, power, powerful. And if you're already out of your 40s, you didn't experience that, go back and do a little catch up. Nobody's gonna stop you. Okay, my friends, we're not doing a live flow dream today in this episode, but you know where you can find them. Go to flowdreaming.com, go listen to some of my past. Get a feel for this rich and gorgeous technique for manifesting. It's very specific and unique. It's called flow dreaming. And I'll talk to you guys next time. Until then, mwah. Lots of love, big kisses and hugs. Hi, friends. If you enjoyed this episode, then I'd like you to consider what having private mentoring with me would be like. You see, I accept a small number of people each year for private coaching. The question is, what do you want to make? Who do you want to become? We can program and shape any area of yourself or your life. Imagine right now what you would be doing if you had no fear. Imagine how your life would look if there were no patterns and blocks repeatedly tripping you up. Imagine if you were fully healed in your heart, body and mind. Imagine if you also had a map to your success and you could follow it with ease and flow. Well, I look into you and into your life and I feel where you're going and know where the road is open and where it's blocked. I help you make the very best decisions based on what's coming up for you. I'll also show you exactly what I do day to day to succeed in my personal and business life. And we can create a copycat plan for you. So if you're game, you can fill out an application on my website for private coaching. Just go to flowdreaming.com coaching and then let's talk. I mean, the time to go for it is now. So let's just get this started. Just reach out to me at my website, flowdreaming.com and I'll get right back with you.