677: It’s Time to Move On! Stop Feeling Guilty for What You Haven’t Achieved

I think most of us have done this. We get right up to that moment where we know things might break open, go really well, snag that new opportunity, job, client, be seen in a big way. We go right up to the lip of that. We're really excited about it. We are getting there. And then we're like, just put this off for a little bit. I'll get to it next week. Oh, you know, later. And before we know it, we've dropped the ball and we say, oh, I procrastinated, or I missed that deadline, or I didn't make the decision. I backed down or I talked myself out of it. Like, that's classic. I was going to, but then I just talked myself, myself out of it. I decided I didn't need it or it wasn't going to work or I shouldn't. Why do we do that? Why do we do that? So I'm carrying on this week based off of last Week's episode number 676, Dump your fear of success. This week, it's about moving on. Maybe we did that. Maybe we did drop the ball. Maybe we didn't do that thing we wish we had. We're kicking ourselves. That's why I want to welcome you now to episode 677 of the Flow Dreaming podcast called it's time to move on. So stop feeling guilty for what you haven't achieved. Flow Dreaming, it's a show where we talk about the power of your mind to change your world around you, to literally affect the fabric of your reality. We talk about this feeling of hope and joy and relief, and that is what being aware of your flow does. It gives you a feeling of power again in your lives. Breathe. I'm Summer McStream, and welcome to another episode of Flow Dreaming. Something people tell me a lot is that I am a very productive person. Like, you get so much done. You have so many flow dreams. You do so many courses. How do you get all of that done? And I think to myself, well, I like to stay busy. I mean, I like making things. I like creating things. It's easy for me. And yet I know the feeling as well as anyone else. I should have done this. I could have done that. Why did I stop? How come I dropped the ball? Why did I switch directions? I kick myself for things looking back that I wish I had done differently or things that I wish I had attempted at all. And that's why I wanted to go into that today. I wanted to kind of peel back the covers and see what that's all about, right? What is the emotional energy around that? What is the non physical energy of us looking back with criticism about what we haven't done, who we haven't become, the success that we haven't reached? Why do we do that? Is it helping us? How do we stop doing that? Because in the world of creating your future, in the world of manifesting, in the world of embracing your inner power, there is a sweet spot for reflection. It's a sweet spot, right? This little amount, perfect, perfect little dollop of it. And the self reflection is really important because that's where we look and we say, oh, I did this, I didn't do that. Maybe I should have done this. Maybe I could do this differently. We need that, right? We need to evaluate. But when it stretches beyond that sweet spot, as it often can, then it morphs. It becomes a totally different energy in our hearts and our minds, in our lives instead. It becomes something that berates us, you know, nags us, chastises us, reminds us of how we're not good enough, how we don't get what we want. It's all our own fault. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. And I know we do it in every different area of our life. Sometimes I tend to focus a little on achievements, right? Things we make create, maybe professionally, but coulda, shoulda, woulda. I mean, why didn't I clamp down on this behavior in my kids years ago? Why didn't I face my partner about this months ago? Why didn't I, you know, start losing weight the moment I realized I was starting to have health conditions? Why did I let it go so long? How come I didn't? What is wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Any, any of this? This is where that sweet spot of reflection, that sweet spot of evaluation turns toxic. And I'd like us to think today, ask ourselves, is there an area in your life right now where this is happening, where this is actively happening? Is there an area where the coulda, shoulda, woulda, why haven't I, I could have done that better. Why didn't I do it? Is there any area where that is on spin cycle? I can think in my own life of one, maybe two areas where I can look at it and say, shouldn't have switched direction. I shouldn't have dropped the ball on that. I should have dealt with that a lot sooner. I should have, I should have, I should have. I can see it, I can feel those areas. And sometimes when I'm trying to make corrections to them, it's like that's what comes up, you know, like, yeah, you're too late, too little too late. You made the bed, now you gotta lie in it. And then I pause and I say, why? Why am I doing this to myself? Is this being gentle with myself? Is this being loving with myself? What is this form of self punishment? Why have I internalized punishment to myself for weirdly not meeting my own expectations? No one else is punishing me. In fact, most of the time, no one else in our lives even notices that we've missed the bar or missed the mark or did something we shouldn't have or didn't do something we should have. Most people don't even know. This is all our own inner chatter, our own inner expectations, our own inner goal setting. And then when we don't get it, punish, punish, punish, punish. What do you think that does to your energy? What does it do to your emotional stamina? What does it do to those happy, joyful thoughts of I'm moving forward in my life, things are getting better, things are improving, I am creating more, I'm happy with myself, I'm proud of myself. I'm reaching some goals and I'm reaching more and more of them as I move forward. Right? That's our steam engine, right? That's our train of thought and energy and manifesting and being that we want to be on. And when we say coulda, shoulda, woulda, we've taken it beyond the I'm learning from the experience of the thing I just did. It's almost like a part of ourselves is saying, you didn't learn from it, you're gonna do it again, and we're gonna make sure you don't do it again by constantly bringing it up. So it's funny. I'm gonna use an analogy here. Someone I know very well is in a relationship like this with her ex boyfriend, who constantly brings up the crummy choices she made, doesn't bring up all the beautiful times they had together, how much he adores her, how close best friends they've been. Nope, it's always that one or two things that was terrible. She doesn't do this with him. She doesn't constantly bring up that bad stuff because it cripples the relationship eventually. As you can see, the relationship did not last because of this. This is something we do, you know, with one another when we're still trying to get the other person back, still trying to punish them for prior sins. Yet we're not talking about someone else doing this to us right now. Today we're Talking about us doing it to ourselves. When is enough enough? When is enough for you to say, for your heart to say, for that inner part of you to say, okay, I have shoved your nose in this enough. I think you've got it now. I think we're good. I think we're good. That's what I want us to get to. Because otherwise, all the movements we make forward are being hampered by this little pulling back, this little whisper in our hearts and energy. Well, you didn't make it happen before you failed, before you messed it up, before you didn't follow through, before you spent too much money, before you were cheated on, before you were lied to, before you made a bad decision, before it's. Oh, God, the list is endless. And what is a sensible warning, a caution, instead becomes an ongoing punishment. The sweet spot is utterly destroyed. The purpose for reflection and reevaluation or evaluation is gone. Today, my goal is I want you free. I want you free to manifest, to grow, to reach toward your goals, to just hype up the inner power, the inner strength in you. I want that for you, with you. I want you testing and trying new ways to get there and achieve it. I want you dancing happily around your living room at the end of the day saying, everything went great today. I made so much progress. This was fantastic. That's how I want you feeling. And when you are looking back and saying, yeah, but I didn't get there yet. I haven't achieved that yet. That's all unraveled from you to no end. And I guess that's the main thing. It's unraveling you for no purpose, no end. You've heard it, you've got it. It'd be like punishing a child every day for a year for something that they. They got it. Like, they, you know, they. Your kid. I have teenagers, right? Your kid didn't tell you they were gonna go someplace after school. You got upset, worried. You said, fine, I'm taking your phone away for a year. I mean, the kids got it. You take their phone away for 24 hours, they're like, okay, Mom, I will definitely tell you next time. After a while. It's pointless. It's senseless. If anything, it's creating a sense of pushback, of anger, of retaliation, of being misunderstood. That's what's happening when we're doing it to ourselves. So please, I want you to stop feeling guilty for what you haven't achieved. So what? So you haven't achieved it yet. So you haven't gotten there yet. There's no magical age. If you're not married by the time you're 28, if you haven't had kids by the time you're 32, big deal. They're arbitrary. These timelines we set for ourselves, these goals, they're arbitrary. And it's really good to remind ourselves of that sometimes. And I know we have this fear, like, but if I don't constantly like kind of push myself with that, then I won't do it, right? I'll be lazy and I just won't go. I won't get anywhere in life. I know sometimes we have that fear. But I'm gonna tell you this, like, after so many years working with personal growth with people, if you're even listening to this show right now, you probably don't have to worry about that. You really probably don't. You are probably more self initiating, more self aware than 90% of people. So for you to say I have to keep tormenting myself with that or I might do it is baloney. Instead, what it's telling me is there's some really perfectionistic standards in you. There are some standards in you that you're using to force yourself forward. You're using those, the pain of not achieving as your prod, you know, like prodding a cow with a red hot iron. You're using those painful feelings to prod yourself. Who taught you how to do that? Because it's kind of terrible. There are other ways to prod yourself forward. Reward based ways, success based ways. Joy, fulfillment. I love what I do. Therefore I often hit my goals. I'm flowing toward them, they feel easy. If you really are moving toward a goal and you're having to prod yourself toward it with these feelings of because you didn't make it before, because you're not where you need to be yet, because you're behind, because everybody else is ahead of you. If you're using that to push yourself forward, I just want you to stop and think. What's the long term effect of that? Of using negativity to move yourself forward? If you again were to do that to a child, if you don't get good grades, you're going to be a bum living on the side of the freeway. If you, if you don't get good grades, if you don't get into this college, you're gonna, you're never gonna be happy if you don't do this, if you don't lose weight, you're never gonna meet your perfect partner. I mean, these, these are hideous things. I wouldn't say this to my child. I hope nobody says this to their children. Horrible people do, though. And they're doing it often from love in a way. They just don't know any other way. They use criticism, they use fear. They use putting down this kind of language or comparisons or. And then we do that to ourselves. You know, the word would be institutionalized. You know, like the poor people who go to prison, and then when they come out, they can't readjust. They've been institutionalized. They become their own jailers. We do the same. So look around right now. The whole purpose of today's episode is to ask you, where are you judging yourself harshly? Where are you criticizing yourself for not having made that goal? Where are you saying, these big failures in me. These big failures in me. And I can't seem to get my eyes. Can't tear my eyes off of them. I want you to tear your eyes off of them. I want you to experiment and play with and try a new way, which is. I am really proud of where I've come to. I am really feeling high and positive and excited about all that I've been able to achieve. I feel proud. I feel pride of who I've allowed myself to become, the truths about myself. I've embraced, the achievements I've created in my life or for my family or for others. I am so proud of this. I am so proud of myself. I recognize that there are things that, yes, I could have done differently or better. There are goals or high points that I am still working toward reaching. And that is perfectly okay. It is perfectly okay. Every day I do better. Every day I'm seeing myself more clearly. I'm seeing myself with more love. I'm giving to myself more, supporting myself more. Every day I'm recognizing what I'm doing that's working. Every day I'm recognizing my inner power, the ability that I have to actually reach and hit those goals of mine. And if I haven't reached them yet, it's okay. It's all right. I have a life, a lifetime. And if I'm looking back because you're thinking, oh, you don't know. I'm 89 years old. That lifetime is. You know, all those days are up. Then look back and look at all the things you did do. Look at the things you learned from. Look at that. But please, I know most of us aren't 89 or 95. We are 35, 45, 55, 65, and we're still looking ahead. How do I want to feel next what are my achievements giving me? How are they making me feel? Your achievements should make you feel wonderful. Shouldn't make you feel the opposite. I didn't do enough. I feel guilty. I never got this. I never made this. I never had that family, I never had that job. I never switched careers, blah, blah, blah. Only you can choose to let these feelings go. Only you. No one else can do this for you. You are the only one who can do it. And that means the power is in your hands. Means you can do it today. And I encourage you do it today. So as I wrap up, I would love to encourage you do some flow dreaming around this, right? Flow dreaming. Gorgeous, beautiful, positive, active, emotionally energetic, kind of meditation, kind of daydreaming, manifesting work. Go in there. I have hundreds of them at my store. Hundreds, hundreds. And there are ones for inner forgiveness. There are ones for success and achievement. There are ones to inspire you and motivate you from a place of joy and feeling confident. A whole, whole playlist, in fact, called Confident, that steers you, that reteaches you a new way of motivating yourself, as well as starting to replace and condition the energies in a new and different way. Use them. Ten minutes, that's all it takes. That's why I made them for you. And with that, one final little request. If you love this podcast, please think about not only subscribing, which is very easy, just tap that subscribe button, but also rate or review it. And no matter where you're listening, there should be a place for you to rate and review. It means so, so much to this podcast, ability to get out there and reach more people. So if you love this, I talk about stuff like this every single week. The last few years, I've skew more and more toward these messages of personal empowerment, inner potential and energy, resetting our minds and our mental health, utilizing physical and non physical energy, and of course, the energy of flow. But if you go back in the archives, I go into so many different areas, you guys. There's 18 seasons of this program. 18 years. We go everywhere. We talk about spirit, spirituality, purpose of life, the universe, empathic intuition. Oh, we go everywhere. Flow. What? Flow is lots. So please dig into your heart's content. But this week, I just want you to practice a little forgiveness in this, this area. Right about you, you, you. You are enough. You've done enough. You're doing enough. Now if you want to ratchet it up and do more, go for it. Absolutely. But don't look back. Yesterday, as they say, yesterday is gone. It is. It's gone. And your moment of reflection was just that, did I like what I did or not? If I don't, great, I'm gonna do it differently next time. End of story. No self punishment, no regret. And with that, I give you all tons of love. Thank you for being with me this week for this little heartfelt pick me up and I'll see you all next time. Next week, in fact, for another episode of Flow Dreaming. So I have a really important question for you. School. You've heard me talk about it, mention it, and I'm just wondering when it might be a fit for you, when you might jump to the next level, which is going from maybe listening to the Flow dreams and playing with them or listening to this podcast and saying there is a next point from here. And I've been kind of playing around the same area for quite a while and I, yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready to see what else there is. And maybe you're nervous and scared. You don't know how much it costs. You don't know what happens there. You don't know what will happen for you there. Look, don't be. Just don't be scared me. School is the most beautiful thing I think I have made in my life, but it's the most beautiful thing because I take you, really you people, just like you, into the program. And I take all the learning that I have been blessed with, that I have been mentored with, and I have been mentored and blessed with some pretty amazing people in my life. And my job is to carry this information forward, to then pass it on to you. And what we pass on is how to live well, how to be you, authentically you, how to live into who you are, who you came here to be, how to find that, how to move through your ceilings and blocks and blossom. You know, you're probably looking at this next big chunk of your life and wondering what's going to be there? What's going to be in it? Is it going to be the same as it was before? Well, for it to be different, you need to start choosing yourself. You need to invest in yourself. You need to invest in your growth. You need to consciously say, I'm ready, it's time, I'm ready now. That's what we do in MI school. We spend that time and that's what we look at. Personal power, your ability to generate wealth, security, time, freedom. We look at your emotional self. Are you in love with yourself? Are you in love with life? If you're not. Let's make that happen. It's just a question of whether you say yes or whether you say no yet again. So jump on over to my website, flowdreaming.com and you'll find there a link, a button, an image. There'll be something where you can learn more about MI school and set up a time to talk with me and we will get you going. I'll share and answer all of your questions and hopefully be able to start working with you as you discover what your life is really there for and how it really wants to show up for you. So right now, go to flowdreaming.com and just get your time scheduled for us to talk and think about MI school and where you're going next. Just get it done. It's past time. And now let's get back to our show.