686: Radical Honesty…Could You Do It? with Brad Blanton

Imagine if when you spoke to somebody, anybody, someone you love, someone you don't even know, the only things that came out of your mouth were pearls of truth, real truth. Everything you felt, everything you saw, everything you were experiencing, unfiltered, like an unfiltered sake. Just bloop right there. He would be like, that's a terrible, terrible thing, Summer. Why would we do that? Oh my God, my family would disown me. I just, ugh, I'd be fired at work. And this, this is kind of my mindset going into today's episode. This thought that if I were really to say what I see and feel, know and think. Gotta keep that under wraps. I mean, gotta moderate it at least, right? It's polite, polite society requires, etc. Etc. So this is, this is really what pushed me to look into the radical honesty movement. Now this has been around for a while, many years, decades. I remember running across it, I don't know, in the 90s sometime. And there was a fellow, his name was Brad Blanton and he had written a great book about radical honesty. And I thought, I'll read that book when I'm brave enough, but not today. And here we are almost what, 20 years later and I got to talk to Brad. Yeah, we chit chatted and I said, are you going to rip me up one side and down the other? Am I going to be excoriated, eviscerated? Are my guts going to fall out and my cover blown? And he said, no, it's up to you. Totally up to you, my dear. I can't even like do a good accent. Honest to God, he is a fabulous person to talk to. Smart, clear. He drops the F bombs as much as I do, so explicit warning, you guys, nothing is bleeped. He's also Southern, which you could kind of tell from the way I tried to do that. But we had a really great talk about what somebody who wants to tiptoe into more honesty in their life looks and feels like, as well as what it's like to live with that mindset of it's better to be honest and open than to shield the people you love from knowing you. And that's really what it comes down to. So in many ways, you know, Brad's message echoes mine. We don't shield the people we love from knowing us. And if we're shielding them, why, who are we really protecting? Us or them? So let's find out. Today's episode, flow Dreaming, still kinda woo woo is just what it sounds like. An escape into the world of woo. Also a ride into you and how to feel happier, wiser and more self aware in every way. It's your ultimate journey into personal growth and inner power. We'll explore ideas like how your energy self influences the kinds of opportunities you encounter, or how your personal growth can drive your business growth, or even how that feeling of being stuck is really always coming from something else. We just have to figure out what. That's right. We're a dash of woo woo. A sprinkle of self care, a heap of problem solving and pattern busting, and a giant cup of encouragement. We're going to relight so much passion, purpose, self love and confidence in you that you practically stagger. I'm Summer McStravik, your host and welcome to Flow Dreaming. Still kinda woo woo. Brad, I am so happy to have you on the show with me today. How are you?

I'm happy to be had.

Excellent. Okay, I'm going to tell you straight off, honestly, you make me really nervous. I feel like you're going to call me on the carpet on everything and I know you won't, but when you talk with somebody whose whole life theme is radical honesty, immediately all the things you think about are all the things you're not honest about. So tell me, what should I prepare for?

Here's your first question is what are you most scared of being out about?

Oh boy, that's a good. I'm not going to answer that. Okay, that brings me to my next question. As long as you're jumping in here, is it okay when you're talking with somebody who practices radical honesty to say to them that's when I choose not to answer. Sure. Okay.

Yeah. And you can say, no, I'm not going to answer that or none of your business or whatever you want to do fine than me. It's better than playing like you are being open and when you're not.

Right. Yeah. Let's start then with the whole what is radical honesty? I mean, you're like the pioneer of this and I know a lot of people listening are hearing it for the first time. So how would you describe the work that you're doing to the radical honesty curious person who was just wondering, where do we begin?

Well, I spent 30 years as a clinical psychologist in Washington D.C. i saw more therapy, more lawyers in therapy than any other profession. So I naturally became an expert on lying. So the environment was one conducive to to seeing what it is that people do by trying to manage their lives, by withholding. And the most pernicious form of lying is simply withholding, which is knowing something and not mentioning it, thinking it, but not saying it out loud. And radical honesty is instead of being careful to make sure that what you let be revealed, you maintain control of, is based on a slightly more liberal principle, which is fuck them if they can't take a joke.

And the episode is marked explicit. Actually, I'm a big fan of swear words, so I feel good. All right. So, yeah, this whole. I think a lot of people get real comfortable with the idea that if I just don't say it, I'm not lying. But why do you consider that a form of dishonesty?

Well, it's not the. Dishonesty is not the moral problem. It's not the problem whether they're being honest or dishonest morally. It's that functionally, it keeps you at a space further distant from the person you're relating to than you would be if you were revealing what came across your mind. We're terrified of intimacy. People are more scared of intimacy than they are of anger, for example, and they're plenty scared of anger. But people are scared to death of love because it makes you vulnerable, because you don't. You're not able to control your own flow of feeling toward the other person. And if you talk about it, it gets even more intense. And so basically, you better make sure you guard your words, which means you withhold the right things and reveal the other things. So you're constantly managing, and you're trapped in a life of futile management because you can't manage all that very well. The other person is doing the same thing. So you don't really find much out about each other except what it is you think you want to hide. And intimacy is more fun than that. Depression can be defined as. One definition of depression is being trapped in overly managing.

I think I had. Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

No, it's okay. I was talking too much.

No, you weren't. You're just making me think. The first time I had an experience with understanding how much I was trying to control how other people saw me is I had. I had to go through chemotherapy at one point and lost all my hair and was bald as a Popsicle. And the hardest thing wasn't that I didn't have hair. It was that people were now looking at me in a way that I was really uncomfortable with. I didn't want them to see me as bald. You know, Poor me. Oh, she must have cancer. I realized I had absolutely no control over their perception of Me. Whereas when I had pretty hair and makeup and the right clothes, I felt that I could steer them into what I wanted them to think of me.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Sort of like that. It sounds like.

Yeah. Well, that was an example of radical honesty.

Yeah. You said intimacy people are afraid of. I think I know myself. I almost go the other direction. You're probably gonna tell me it's wrong, but I feel like if I say things, I will ruin the intimacy. I will, I'll create a gap where I could just. If I just, you know, let it go or shiz it over, there wouldn't be that gap between us.

How does that work?

Do you understand that impulse?

But when you try that. I understand it. But have you found it that it works very well?

I think it creates a managed sense of intimacy. Oh, you caught me. You caught me.

Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, we do it in marriages and friendships, you know, if, like I just don't tell my friend that, then we'll stay good friends and I'll get all the stuff from the friendship without opening that divide between us. I guess you're saying you have to take a risk that that divide can be healed or that it's stronger if you do.

Yeah. Like how you have a better time with someone that you care about if you're not so managing oriented, you're not trying to make sure you control it in the right direction. It's like I was at a celebration a few weeks ago of a couple that I've known for 20 years, and they were. They had four boys and they were having a 20 year celebration of their marriage. It was their 20th anniversary and they asked me to come to Florida and be there at the party. And at the party they said they'd had several times in their marriage where they were about to break up and they called me and that I was directly responsible for them being able to stay together. And I said, well, that's okay, thanks very much. And what it looks like to me was you called in the forces that had to do with opening up whatever it is you were withdrawing and withholding from. And so someone in the group asked her, what was the most important therapeutic intervention over that whole 20 years that you all did? And she said, I asked him, do you think we're going to make it? And he said, I don't know. So my most powerful therapeutic intervention is. I don't know. What do you think?

No. No false hope. No false hope.

But I don't know, is a very strong therapeutic convention. Because she said what she thought Then was, well, hell, it doesn't depend on the answer. An expert depends on what I do.

Yeah, yeah.

And that's a real thing. When people get that in therapy, you've made some progress.

Yeah, yeah. It's making me think a lot of people just aren't honest with themselves. You know, if she's looking to you to tell her which way things are going to go and you say, I can't, then she's got to get honest with herself. Do you see? That is maybe one of the biggest problems. Or is problem not the right word?

Well, it is the right word in the sense that, first of all, you can't be honest with yourself unless you're schizophrenic. You have to have a. You and yourself. So the way you're honest with yourself is by being honest with another person. There is no, like, secretly inside your head being honest with yourself. It's like the difference between sex and masturbation. Sometimes masturbation is better than sex.

Speak for yourself. Oop. Too honest? Too much. I bet nobody ever says that to you, right? Too much. No. There's no TMI in your world, is there? Yeah, I guess. I guess. I mean, not being honest with yourself, like, I can do this job for another 10 years. I have to. Even though I'm dying inside, I can do this marriage for another 10 years. I have to. You know, where we. We try to talk ourselves into something about ourselves that. That is not true to the point where we can just not even realize that we're not being true.

Right. And so it's become so popular that, like, for example, I'm not prejudice against any party, but if you're a Republican, you believe that some imagining is exactly equivalent as something observed as you. There's no difference between what occurs in the real world and what occurs in your fantasy. And that's pretty badly disorienting. That's pretty much what you call justifying being put on the back ward of the hospital.

I guess you have a really interesting perspective on the world news and all of that. Right. What is truth? It's the conversation of.

I do. I think I learned a lot of that from Fritz Perls. I learned a lot of that. But I was in the civil rights movement in Texas when I was 19. I got arrested, I got beat up, I got shot at. Various things occurred that basically showed me that whenever you actually get something, you put it out there and let anybody know. You don't, like, basically try to sneak around and manipulate. That's the way of the managers who cause the society go so wrong in the first place. You take risks by saying, this is what I want. What do you want? If we don't want the same thing, can we work out something where we both get a little bit of what we want? Can we have some kind of an honest conversation and break it up into pieces that work maybe not perfectly for both of us, but work better than nothing at all?

You ever consulted anybody in politics on that?

I have, actually. A lot of politicians have learned this. They're actually saying, you know, at least if you watch msnbc, as compared to Fox, Fox is back there trying to paste some kind of notices about what reality is that they just invented this morning and the others, the MSNBC is like, basically, where'd you get that from? Who said it? Are you telling me the truth? How do you know it's true? Yeah, and I prefer the second.

Yeah.

Because that leads to honesty.

I gotta agree with you on that. I think all of our listeners know I skew heavily toward the progressive side. I wouldn't say skew. I sit there very firmly. What do you think? I'm changing the subject here. What do you think about a white lie? I. I mean, I think I can anticipate what you're gonna say, but sometimes you just want someone to feel happy and good about themselves, and if they can't say it to themselves, you'll say it even if you're not really sure that that's true about them. You know, like. Like, Grandma, I love the shirt you bought me for Christmas, when really you're never ever gonna wear it, but you want her to feel good. Is there any value, any value in that kind of thing?

Well, it allows you to keep having an authentic, intimate relationship with your grandmother. And there's some value to that, I suppose. It keeps you in control of the relationship so that you can keep the distance the way you want it. You can say, basically, I really appreciate you for getting me this shirt, and I know that you want to give me something that makes me happy. I don't like the shirt much, and I'm probably going to trade it in on another one, take it back. She'll probably say, well, that's all right. Good. That's good. I'd rather you get something you like than something I gave you that you supposed to act like you like. She would probably say that. And surprisingly, people say that more than you would imagine. Once you start trying it, you find people really like honesty, even if it's not what you expect they wanted.

Yeah. It sounds like you're a big proponent of challenging the other person to meet you, where you're coming from and not. I always look at it like a form of almost looking down on the other person, that they won't be able to handle my honesty. They won't be able to meet that authenticity. So I have to protect them from it.

Right. It is a very. It's a. It's a condescending thing. You're right.

Yeah.

I play golf at a golf course over here where a lot of my friends, about almost half of them, are Republicans, and they know that I'm a lefty. And we have these sort of now and then touch and go kinds of relationships. I walked in a couple months ago, I walked in the door and one of them said, you. And I said, you. We walked over to this. You want to play golf? Said, yeah.

Yeah. You know, I kind of. I kind of. I know that I have a family who's divided right down the middle. I got all the Trump over here and I got all the progressives over here, and we meet at Christmas.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Right down the middle.

Yes.

Mm. Yeah. But we solve it, I guess, the way a lot of families do. We don't talk about politics. It's not allowed anymore. It became too divisive. So we. Yeah, we just shush it over again when it happens.

I know it's easy to make that kind of arrangement and probably not a great idea. If you want intimacy in the family, it's okay to have a fight and get over it. Actually, we can, like, cuss each other up and down and 15 minutes later say, okay, let's go get a beer. And we can go get a beer and enjoy being with each other because we cussed each other up and down. We might even have the conversation. I'd say, well, I'm not as mad about it as I was. I still don't like what you say and what you're doing, but I'm not nearly as mad at you as I was a while ago before I cussed you out. Me either, you son of a bitch, you'll say, but the thing is, we sort of have a loving relationship as one son of a bitch to another.

I guess that's the problem that. Yeah. That people are actually afraid of. If I do that and we cuss each other out or we go into that full conflict, we're going to discover that we don't love each other and we don't have anything in common, and that'll be the end. And I'll be friendless and alone and unwanted and unfamilied. We have to risk that, is what you're saying.

I'm saying that if you're going to have it, you need to risk it down. Then, yes, I believe they say. Well, I say to people often as one asshole to another, that's the prelude to my presentation.

That does soften things up a little bit. Like. I can't argue with you there, Brad. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

Exactly. Yeah.

All right. You keep saying this word intimacy. What do you mean by intimacy? What. What does that. Because it seems like this whole radical honesty thing kind of hinges on that idea.

Well, we were just laughing together. You were laughing and I was laughing and I liked seeing you laugh and you liked seeing me laugh. We both thought it was funny and we kind of came to that place in the conversation. Well, I'm saying we loved each other then. Just that little passing pleasant. I'm happy to be in the world with you right now. I'm glad you think this is funny. I think it's funny too. Is a nourishing thing to me. And I imagine it's more nourishing than just being in a managed relationship. So you're not doing a very good job of managing this interview.

I'll take that as a compliment. That's what I was afraid of. Everything with you would feel ass backwards, and it does. Which is another way of saying, oh my God, I must lie and manage a lot. Oh, no, I actually don't think I do. I will tend more toward being the person who says the wrong thing and puts my foot in my mouth. That old saying which sounds like maybe myself and others should re. Evaluate.

Yeah, I think so. There is a. There is a kind of Werner Earhart I really like. I've done a lot of the forum and those courses and stuff like that. And Warner Earhart said, used to say frequently, until you get that your life is utterly meaningless, you don't get anything at all. It means that whatever you're running a protection racket for is probably bullshit in the first place. And the protection racket is keeping you from being connected and being enjoy being with each other and loving each other and having more instances of joy than instances of grief and anger. And the negative emotions, they come from people who feel free and, you know, you can trust them to say something that they shouldn't say, but you also know you can trust them to say something they shouldn't say. That's very nice.

Yeah. I'm thinking about people I work with a lot of people who will be themselves, risk some honesty, do something that they later regret or feel silly for showing or exposing about themselves, and then they will go around in their heads for hours and days about what somebody else might have thought, what they must be thinking, how they were not able to be in control, and they just. They massacre their. Their minds over it.

Yeah, yeah, all day. Just can't stop thinking about it. Thinking is a highly overroded thing, is a highly overrated thing. Anyway. You don't get enlightened by getting smarter. Getting smarter is not the way to enlightenment. You have to get dumber. You know, basically, after many years of running the eight day workshop, which is my attempt to put a year of psychotherapy into one week, after many years of running, we finally came up with a chant that always leads to enlightenment within two minutes without fail. And the chant that leads to enlightenment in two minutes without fail is this. I usually charge a thousand dollars for this. Is. I'm just giving you for free.

Well, thank you very much.

The chant. At least I'm worth it.

Hit me up.

Okay, here's the chain. If you slobber, you can get there in a minute and a half. And if you get just dumber than a stick, you start being a perceiver rather than a conceiver. You. You start noticing instead of thinking. And you bring into your process of thinking a lot of interruptions with new noticings so you don't remain the same as you were because you got new information constantly coming in. And you include your responses back and forth. So you're living a life of aliveness, being encouraged and invited and shared, rather than a life of careful manipulation so that you don't offend or get accused of doing something bad.

Well, when I was imagining your workshops, I was thinking you walk in and you immediately get ripped from the top to the bottom until all your gooey insides spill out. And then you huddle and cry on the floor for several hours. But everybody else is doing the same thing. So then you feel like, well, I guess it's not so bad now they all know that I'm xyz. Because all of your worst thoughts about yourself have come up because you're being honest. Please tell me that's not what happens.

Well, that's not a bad design, I think. Thanks for the idea.

I told you I was afraid of this whole thing. That's what I'm coming in with, Brad.

It wouldn't be so bad. It would be a lot of laughter. It's. It's like what you were saying when you're trying to do things perfectly. I have a thing that I ask people to recite as a mantra for two or three days in a row to go along with the dumb chant. And the mantra is, anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.

So I can be badly honest?

Yes.

That's a good start. Okay, I'll take that. I'll take it. I can be resistant. I can be distrustful. I can be all of that as long as I'm. I'm still.

Yeah, you say, then I don't trust.

Honestly, trying.

Yeah, I don't trust you is an honest statement. And I'll say, well, what do you mean? And you give me more details of what it is that I have said or done that you don't trust, or the way I look or something I said or did or something. And then we're at a more intimate level of sharing our assessments and evaluations of each other rather than using them to guard against each other.

Do you think trust is really maybe the linchpin of the whole thing?

Well, it's a very important part. You have to be able to trust. You have to be able to trust that when you share your being less than perfect, people will accept you anyway, which is probably violating the assumption that makes you work to be a perfectionist. I said another phrasing of anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Anything worth pooing is worth pooing dourly. That's too complicated. It has to do not being.

Yeah, yeah, pooing dowerly.

That you grade yourself about how good a job you're doing about being right, about what's wrong with someone else when you're often telling them what's wrong with them to keep control. And when you talk just as one jerk to another, you can say, well, the best my mind can come up with is this. I don't know if it works or not. What do you think? There's an invitation to an intimate interaction rather than a guardedness against too much loss of control.

And it sounds like you're also allowing yourself to not be right and not come in with I'm right.

Yeah, you can say, I think I'm right. What do you think?

One last question. Well, maybe two. A lot of people, if you're. If you're okay with it, a lot of people become very conflict avoidant. They become heavy managers of other people's perception of them or the relationship because they grew up in really, you know, rough, rough ways. And their. Their survival is dependent on Making sure someone doesn't explode or drink or be, you know, guilt inducing. You know, they've learned how to manage others to live. Do you find that those are the hardest people to break that habit? Or the scaredest? Or do you. How do you. How do you work with those people when you're teaching?

Well, I usually start out with something gentle and kind like, I think you're full of shit.

Okay?

And then as. As one jerk to another, this is what I think. I think you're over controlling everything and there's no goddamn wonder. No one gets close to you because you won't let anybody get close to you because you're lying all the goddamn time by withholding what information you're afraid to share with them because they might not like it. So if you're going to be a bullshit artist and I'm supposed to be a sincere, loving human being, I got to treat you like a child. That's the only way I can do it.

Now there's the brat I was expecting. Yeah, yeah, it's okay.

The harshness is okay as a part of the whole context of contact and withdraw. We all want contact with each other. We want a high degree of contact, and then we get to where we want to withdraw. We get enough contact, we want to get the hell out of there. The problem is when I want contact and you want withdrawal, or you want contact and I want withdrawal, we have to communicate that well and have an agreement that allows us to withdraw when we want to, when the other person wants contact and so forth. We had to work out our agreements about contact and withdrawal. I don't feel like talking now. How about give me an hour? Okay. Well, an hour later we get together and talk. And I believe that probably people like when it occurs, but it's almost accidental. And then they're a little afraid to try it again when they learn how to be intimately descriptive of what they've done, what they think, what they feel, what sensations they have in their body. So what we share is what we can be aware of. And the whole awareness continuum is easily divided into three parts. You can notice what's going on inside your own body right now. Sensations, movement, warmth, tingling, itching, things like that. Second area is you can be aware of what's going on across from you. I can be aware of you blinking your eyes, looking at me with your eyebrow wrinkled up on the right a little bit, and you're looking like straight at me. And then the third aspect is what's going through your mind. That's all there is, I call it inside, outside, upside down. That's all you have to notice and report. You notice what's going through your mind, you notice what's going on in your body, and you notice what's going on opposite you, and you share what you noticed. It's very simple. It's hard to do because you've been trained for hundreds of years not to do that because people are terrified that their kids are going to get hurt by making a mistake. So you just tell them to be on guard at all times. It's probably the end of humankind if we keep operating that way. Because unless we get where we can do a better job of taking care of ourselves and each other, we're about to ditch ourselves permanently.

Yeah, that's. Yeah. I was going to say your book you're writing about that must be top of mind.

My new book is Touch and Go is about that.

Touch and go. Do you know when that's coming out?

Oh, Lord. The end of this year.

Okay, so if you can't get it yet, I'm sure you can pre order it. Everybody. But you've written a lot of books. What do you think? What would you say is the best one that someone should get who just is intrigued by this and they want to step in and learn more?

Radical Honesty is a good book. Practicing Radical Honesty is the more pragmatic one about designing your life according to an announcement that you're going to be honest to people and. But my favorite is called Radical Parenting, where I say that the fundamental thing to do when you're a parent is to learn from those children what you've forgotten. That they're the teacher, you're the learner. So I like Radical Parenting.

I don't know, Brad. I've got two teenagers and it would be really hard for me to say, I'm going to learn from you both right now.

Yeah, I mean, you gotta start out when they're small.

Are you saying all is lost? Yeah. Okay. All right. I'm kidding with you.

It's too late.

I'm kidding. No, I've got good kids, but they, you know, they. They challenge as they should at this age.

Yeah, good. Yeah. Teenagers generally like Radical Honesty. Gives them permission to go ahead and be a teenager.

Yeah, Got it. Brad, thank you so much. This has been a wonderful interview, actually. I really enjoyed it. And you're not half as scary as I thought you might be. And I seem to have all my. I have all my insides still inside. Gooey. No, I. I guess I really Hear what you. You're saying about. It's our need to control others that usually causes us to be dishonest and to risk the potential of losing those people if we want to go for more intimacy with them. But if we lose them, they're probably not our people, is probably what you would end up saying.

I would say that the odds are you would be scared of the degree of intimacy that suddenly you felt and would back off a little bit, and they would too. And unless you all have some kind of agreement that transcends that, that would be what happened. I asked people to make agreements about being honest with each other, and if both of them agree, then the door is open.

So it kind of you. You create a container to hold this in. So it's not just like one person's going off on honesty and the other person's like, what the hell is happening here?

Yeah, occasionally I've been in the civil rights movement. They used to start bringing us in and keeping us in this police station instead of jailing us because we were getting too much press. Interview. So they brought me in as a second or third time. Ben brought in to four or five other people, and the sergeant says to this guy at a desk, the detective, keep it on. These guys. We're not going to put them in the jail. We're just going to keep them in here. Said, okay. So I said, I saw a cigarette machine coming in. I'm gonna go out and get some cigarettes. And the guy pulled out a pistol and laid it on the desk and said, you're not going anywhere. And I said, fire away, motherfucker. And turned and walked and counted 23 steps to the door, waiting for the bull to hit me in the back, and it didn't. I went and got some cigarettes, took one out, lit it, came back in, said, what's the matter? Did you lose your goddamn nerve? He said, just sit down and shut up. I said, okay. And we worked it out. I'm just saying most time is not that risky. But that I took that risk encouraged me the rest of my life to be the same kind of asshole I was there, which I found to be quite fruitful. So I recommend the Life of an Honest.

Say no more. That is the absolute perfect ending to this interview. If I could title it that I recommend the Life of an Honest Asshole, I would. I don't think I'm gonna let me on itunes.

I think it's a great title.

Yeah, well, you got another book in you, I'm sure, so save it for that Again, Brad, thank you. I really appreciate your time and. And I'll be putting up information for people. They can, you know, find what your books are and definitely find out more about you. Go to your website. I guess we should give that as well. Radical honesty dot com, right?

Yes. Huh.

Okay. And you do train people in this. You train practitioners, you train people over.

In the upcoming six weeks in front of us, we have 60 different online and live workshops in 11 countries in three languages, right? This next six weeks.

Yeah. That's incredible. Well, I guess you're right. Your radical honesty has been very fruitful. And hopefully you're making a dent in the world. I mean, I'm sure you're making a dent in the world. Make a bigger dent. Keep working.

Okay.

Okay. All right. Thanks so much, Brad. Take care.

Bye.

Oh, man. Aren't the cockles of your heart just warm and glowing right now? Such a surprising interview for me to do. As I told you going in, I was pretty nervous thinking, oh my, here's a person who for the last 30 years has been kind of x ray visioning people right down to their bones. And we're gonna do an interview. Great. But so what does it mean to give up all of your need to control other people's ways of seeing you? What does it take to allow a deeper level of intimacy to empower the people you love with the opportunity to see you in a new, true and different way and you them. So Brad and I kind of talked about that and I feel pretty good. If you're feeling the same way like you, you know, Hitcha, please do look him up. Brad Blanton. He is@radicalhonesty.com his book Radical Honesty, I believe, should be up there with the echelons of energy, healing and the artist's way. And so many of those books that came out during that era to wake us up to tell us things. I have escaped relatively unscathed. My innards are still inside me for the most part, but it gave me a lot to think about and I hope the same is true for you. And that's the goal of our show, right? Flow dreaming still kind of woo woo Exploring or explorers. Who's got something great to say? Share with me and we'll see what that is and how it can change us. So I'll see you all next time. Thanks for spending some time with me until we meet again. Sometimes we need a good old cathartic do over. We've been flatlining, emotionally spent and wrung out like an old washcloth. We want to feel a different way, be a different way. We've plateaued. We're stuck. We need to gain purpose and direction and feel good again. We want to find the self worth, confidence and inner strength that got wiped away from years of frustration, disappointments and emotional depletion. We're ready to uplevel and go bigger and when we do, we want to know that we'll be wildly successful at it. This is what's kept me busy these last couple of years. I wrote a book all about how to reinvent yourself up level and find your path again. I wrote three books actually, but only one is on its way to you. It's called Stuff nobody taught you and I took all the lessons from MI school and wrote them out. Not only that, but I go through me school in the book with you right alongside you. We both reignite and maybe even reinvent ourselves by the end. There are 40 actionable lessons. I want you to read just one small chapter a night and then do or think about whatever I ask you to do at the end. It's a formula and it works like crazy. If you pre order the book today, I've got some fabulous bonuses for you. You can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Kindle, wherever you get your books. If you're listening to this and the book is already out though, don't worry, I've got some goodies for you too, including downloadable worksheets that will make reading it so much easier. So here it is. Stuff nobody Taught you. I sure hope you love it.