696: More Weird Hangups that Empaths Have…

I've hired a lot of people over my career, hired them for my own company, hired them for other companies. And I'm thinking about one person in particular, sticks out in my head, not because of what she did, but because what I did. It's another one of those weird things, weird hang ups that we empaths have. We. Which is, that's why we're doing this second. There's more, there's more friends, a second episode on more weird hangups that empaths have. So this woman did great. I mean, everybody loved her, everybody loved her work. And yet after a while, I just started going downhill. I mean, like, really, really going downhill. Like she, she wasn't showing up. She'd say she was working or got things done that hadn't happened, hadn't got, hadn't gotten done. My little spidey senses, my empathic self started to say, oh, Summer, you know, what's going on? She's basically, I don't know, starting a second job while she says she's working with you for you. There's, there's something happening here. She's not here anymore. And then, then I began to hear that she was saying things about me, like behind my back to other employees, to clients, customers, people who, you know, took, worked with, or purchased from the company that I was with. And I thought, oh, that's, that's definitely not good. We need to address this. This is, this is beyond the pale. But this is what brings me to the very first thing that weird like empaths do. That's just weird, not normal. That isn't. It isn't based on self preservation. It's based on preserving others before ourselves. And I've fallen prey. I look for it now. We give people way too much leeway. Like, we let them get away with murder. We let them get away with things that we ourselves would never dare try to get away with. So this brings us to the next set of things we do and things that you can choose to do or stop choosing to do, or things that you're doing now and saying to yourself, I never knew why I did that. Well, come on today's little journey with me and let's open this up. Let's figure this out. Let's explore this. Welcome to. Well, here it comes. Still kinda woo. Woo is just what it sounds like. An escape into the world of woo. Also a ride into you and how to feel happier, wiser, and more self aware in every way. It's your ultimate journey into personal growth and inner power. We'll explore ideas like how your energy self influences the kinds of opportunities you encounter, or how your personal growth can drive your business growth, or even how that feeling of being stuck is really always coming from something else. We just have to figure out what that's right were. A dash of woo woo, a sprinkle of self care, a heap of problem solving and pattern busting, and a giant cup of encouragement. We're going to relight so much passion, purpose, self love and confidence in you that you practically stagger. I'm Summer McStravik, your host and welcome to Still Kinda with We will. So let's get right back to this idea of why, why we sacrifice our own self preservation for others. In my case, it seems weird, like, oh, you're the boss. Like, you know, you're paying her or you're it's coming out of the payroll that you have for your stuff. Either way, why would I do that? Well, as an empath, one of the things we tend to do is we place ourselves in other people's shoes. We feel them, we feel what they're feeling. We literally see out their eyes, depending on the extent or the awareness you have of what you're doing. But we see the world that, the way they're seeing that, you know, there's no way to do that without feeling incredibly compassionate, incredibly empathetic. There is my judgment of what's going on hurtful to me. And then there's my sort of autonomic nervous system, my autonomic empathic nervous system. A part of me that's just clicking along, feeling how she's feeling, seeing what she's seeing, saying to myself, maybe I'd do a similar thing. Oh, maybe I wouldn't do that. Why are you doing that? But I feel you doing that. You feel it's right to do that. You feel. It's just you can see how this causes like a little swirl of controversy, a swirl of confusion. And I think that's what the weirdest thing is that we empaths do. We get lost in the confusion of it. We know we should be looking out for ourselves, protecting the people we love, protecting other employees, protecting our higher ups, our lower downs, whatever it may be. Yet we also feel and see like, well, I get what they're going through. I do. I've noticed and I've learned if I'm getting to the point where I am giving somebody more leeway for behavior that they do than I would expect for behavior. If I did the same thing, then it's a no brainer. It's okay. That's not acceptable. And I know how you feel about it, and I can see through your eyes about it, but it doesn't work for me. And I'm not going to prioritize you and your feelings over me and my own. It's a big, big, big thing to gulp down. And honestly, it takes more than just, you know, a podcast, an episode and a brief glossing over to get that. That's something that you can work on for weeks, months, years, and get through, but it has to be done. Especially if you've seen yourself doing that. Everything changes after you do that. You start to realize, nah, I see what you're seeing, but it's not working. It's wrong. It's dragging everybody down. Everybody is going down with you. You know that old saying, one bad apple ruins the batch? It's true. Because, you know, you get like a mold on some tomatoes in your fruit bowl, and the next thing you know, all three, four other tomatoes under it are also like, where they touch, the mold is there. That's what happens. So it doesn't matter if you're feeling soft and loving and concerned. That person's mold is still not what you should prioritize. At the risk of getting preachy in this one, which I sometimes do from the lived experience that I'm just, like, trying to share with you, let's move on. Because really, today I. I want to help you see who you are, see signs and signals, see the weird things that, like, you think, oh, that's kind of weird. I always kind of felt badly about myself for that. I want you to open that up and say, you don't have to feel badly about yourself now. That's just part of the whole thing. It's part of the milieu that we're experiencing as this certain kind of person who has opened themselves to understanding more information, receiving it in whatever form it comes physical, non physical, who knows? The next thing. The next weird hang up is. It's kind of a strange one, but this is one that I sometimes experience. We start hating going into people's minds. I know who. There's probably like 500 people on Earth who could say who could or would say that. But if you're one of them, you. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I love going in people's minds because for me, it's like meeting people. Yeah. Introduce me. Sure, let's talk. Yeah, I want to know and talk and meet you, learn about you. But here's what happens. You have somebody in your life, let's say you know somebody related to you. I'm not going to name names here in my family, but somebody related to you or you have a client or there's somebody, a friend. And every time it's like, would you look into so and so, would you look into them? Would you look into them? Like, really, we looked, we looked like two days ago, but would you look again? It's like, you want me to see something different? I'm not going to see anything different. It's the same as it was two days ago, which is pretty much the same thing I saw last year. I'm sick of talking to this person and asking them that same damn question over and over. I know you're laughing, but this often happens. Typically happens with what does my boyfriend think of me? Why is he acting like that? What does he think today? What does he think tomorrow? And. And it's like, look, you, you, you, you've seen it, you've heard it. You've been living the experience of his feelings of you. You've heard it reflected from me. It's been, you know, 100% validated. So why would it change in two days? Why would it change after that? I'm sick of talking to this boy. I'm sick of talking to this person. I sound so snarky. Oh my God. I feel like some still kind of woo woo has freed my, my snarky self from the deep recesses. But, but I, I do say it with love, but what I'm trying to get across is people don't change until you change your relationship to them. So if you're waiting for them to be different, act different. You've gotta be the one to step in and change the rules of the game. You've gotta be a different person for them to respond to. They won't be able to respond the same way to you if you have changed how you're interacting with them. And maybe one of those ways is to not constantly wonder, what are they thinking? How are they feeling about me? That's why I say sometimes I hate going to some people's minds because it's like I feel like an intruder. It's like, hey, it's me. It's like, slide into those DMs 15 times a day. Hi, it's me. Just seeing how you are. How you doin? Is it all good? You know? Yeah, no, I know what you're doing. You're checking up on me. You're seeing what I'm doing. You don't trust Me, you're this, you're that. And when I'm doing that for someone else, I start to feel that way with them. Like, hello, I don't really want to be here, but so and so wants me to come talk to you again. And I can tell you're getting really tired of talking to me. That's kind of a really down low secret. But anybody who knows that they're empathic or psychic or intuitive, you may have had that experience before. So I had to bring it up. I couldn't just kind of gloss over it and pretend, no, that doesn't happen, you know? And that's not to say, like, I am always happy to look into people for my clients, but again, I'm usually not talking to my clients today, tomorrow, the next day, three days later, four days after that. I make sure we've got good, strong gaps of time. I need to see change. I need to have good, natural conversations, because that's how things happen and move. All right, let's go on this one, you guys already know, but we sensitive people, overly sensitive people, highly sensitive people. Oh, my gosh, there's been so many names. Some are derogatory, overly sensitive people. Some are specialized, special sensitive people. Those of us who feel things. Those of us who are just naturally open to other people, we know them. We feel everything. We hate going to crowded places. This is maybe one of my more embarrassing ones. But as a mom, right, I have two kids, and every year because I'm in San Diego, it's very easy to go up to Disneyland, and that's what every kid wants to do. And I'm like, okay, so once a year we're gonna go to Disneyland. This is with the kids as they were growing up. We don't. We actually have. We're not. I don't know. The pandemic kind of changed. Changed that, right? But for like 15 years, that's all we did. But it was always such a miserable experience for me. I remember collapsing into the little steel cold metal chairs of the French bistro by the haunted house. If you guys have ever been there, you know exactly the place I'm talking about. They have the clam chowder in the big bread baskets. And I would just feel like, ah, how many more hours are left? And I'd eye the crowds walking by. And sometimes I would just dabble and say, well, I'm gonna just. And I can't help it. I'm looking inside people's heads. I'm like, oh, this person feels like this. This person. It's like my. It's like my. My relax moment. Oh, this person is kind of like drift in and out of people's heads as they walk by. Weird. But another part of me is like, I have just seen way too many people. I have been crammed in lines with people one foot in front of me and one foot behind me for like six hours today. I'm. I'm done. I am cooked. I am overcooked. I am. I have been over steamed. Pull those vegetables off the stove. I'm done. So, long story short, I. I made it. I made it a deal with the kids that I would go to Disneyland once a year, but only for Halloween. One, because I love Halloween. It's my favorite holiday. But two, because Disneyland has a Halloween pass, a special, like, trick or treat pass. And they typically let in one third of the traditional volume of people. That, my friends, is the only reason that I started doing that. So I could just breathe a little as I walked. I could just feel space around me, feel this emotional space, feel this radiance of energetic space. Believe me, you know, one third less people at Disneyland is like, you know, 20,000 less people or 50,000. It's ridiculous. So if you hate crowded places, if you, if you. If you love going to them for now, and then you just dart in, you spend a couple hours, you're like, wee. This is fun, right? Because you don't do it much. It is. It's fun. It's like, whoa, all this energy and people. But if you're in that crowded place day in and day out, if you're an empath and you work as a checker in the grocery store, you come home like your mind is fried. You're blitzed. And it's not from punching in numbers and talking to customers. It's just that constant lines that const. Constant, constant, constant, constant, constant. So we tend to shy away from places where there are big groups of people. Fairgrounds, concerts. When I was younger, I was much more able to handle that lollapalooza. Like, I'm talking way back. If I said lollapalooza, that means a long time ago. But now the thought of being around, it's just hard. I have to. I have to manually restrain myself. Don't feel that. Pull in, pull in. Don't feel that. Otherwise, bloop. I'm out there just touching, touch and touching, touching. Can't. Can't help myself. Like a. Like a kid in a museum with no supervision. Oh, and a touch, touch, touch, touch, touch. Okay, here's here's. Here's one more. Oh, God. All the dirty little secrets, weird hang ups, things that we impals have to deal with, by the way. Oh, God, that reminds me. It's mailbag time. You've got mail now. Lori emailed me after last week's episode and she said, I just love your weird hang ups episode. I have a question. Are some people more naturally gifted than others? In other words, is it like art? Can some people just read things and other people can't? Is this something I can learn? Should I sign up for your course? Okay, Lori, so I edited that a little bit, took out all the. Oh, that was so amazing. This. Right. Thank you. Thank you, Lori, though. Love to you. Yeah, that's a great question. A very, very, very good question. I do think some people are naturally born with this intuitive streak. This. And do you guys know what I mean by intuitive? I try to really futurize it. I don't. I was gonna say I hate, but I don't hate. But I dislike. I dislike the word psychic. To me, it feels clunky and old and table wrappy and occulty. When I do this work, I just say, look, I can feel people. I know what they're thinking. I've learned how to ask them questions. I've learned to kind of walk in and stomp a room and stomp around in their mudroom. And sometimes they invite me in further into themselves and we have a great conversation. Sometimes I just have to glean what the vibe of the place feels like in a person, but it's like I'm talking to them right here in irl. In real life, doesn't matter where they are. Like I said, in a body, outside of a body. And I just do this. My mom does this. I think my grandma did it. Great grandma. She didn't. Well, we don't really know. But we do know that she did astrology. She did a lot of very interesting things back in the 1900s. We have a long tradition of this. So, yeah, I think not only was I kind of born with a bit of this, a lot of this, but because it was nurtured, it was acknowledged from day one, I had no barrier to it. If anything, the barrier was my own being a rebellious teenager saying, I don't want to do any of this psychic stuff. Oh, God, it's so embarrassing. And eventually I realized, oh, my gosh, everybody else is jealous that I was born. I was born into the Addams Family. And I don't see why would they think that's Cool. Eventually, though, I figured it out. So I do think you can come in strong. However, there are so many mitigating factors, and I've said this before, this will be part of, by the way, my course, my book about this. If you were in an environment that required you to have your antenna up all the time because you didn't know which way the wind was blowing, was mom happy? Was mom drunk? Was dad angry? Was dad chill? Like, we had, We. We had to, like, know stuff. And we were willing to use any senses that would tell us. Some of us, we. We got just an intense training without even knowing what was going. Filled with. Filled with oftentimes a lot of pain, I will admit, but we got an intense training. So many of us who were, quote, unquote, little hurt or damaged growing up turned out to be amazing empaths. Just takes us a little longer to learn how to own our power, right? Plug the power leaks that I talk about a lot in the world of flow dreaming, by the way, if you want to check that out. Flow dreaming, it's the bomb. It's great. Go check it out. That's what we talk about. Me, school, etc. So we have some learning to do to help ourselves. But that said, if you look at, say, a talent like art, some people come in with loads. Some people slowly acquire it, Some people don't seem to have much at all. However, here's the weird thing. Art's a strange medium. You can be terrible at drawing, but have the most amazing sense of composition. How things fit together, how they look. You can design things like costumes and clothing and not be able to draw or paint. Sometimes the art is tactile, sometimes it's. It's visual. Sometimes it's more about patterns and organization. I'm. I'm sort of that way. My daughter, she's the most brilliant drawer illustrator. I mean, the stuff she was drawing at, like, 10 was blowing my mind. I put her in so many art classes, of course she rebelled. She was like, no, I'm never going to do that. I'm gonna go into science. Like, oh, God, you've got more natural skill than I have in my pinky. But the fact is, I'm not a great drawer. But I spent the first decade of my life as a graphic designer because I can see how things fit together. I can see how they work, how they work visually, how they can be pleasing. This is what I'm saying to you. When it comes to being an empath, maybe you say, well, I don't really feel People or read people's minds. Summer. I just. I just don't. However, you know, I've had so many strange, like, premonitions. Like, I've known things so often before they happened. It's like. It's like a part of me just reached into the future a little bit, felt it, knew it. And when it happened, I said, knew that was happening, knew that was coming. We all have. In other words, the particular media that we work in. It's not all the same. That's what's so brilliant and beautiful. Some of us are beautiful interpreters. Some of us can see what potentialities are, futures are. Some of us can look very well back in the past, see describe things, help people reach those past points of ourselves. Anyone who's done inner child work with a gifted practitioner like you know that we all have different areas of excellence. So before you write yourself off completely and say, I'm not an empath, I want you to think, where do you shine in your own interesting way? Look, okay, we're gonna move on. Move on. Mailbag. Thank you very much, Lori. I hope that kind of answered things. And yes, of course, you should take my course. In the meantime, before all of that is ready, do you know what is about to be ready? My book stuff. Nobody taught you 40 lessons from me school to help you stop feeling miserable and start feeling amazing for real. I think this is the best book I've ever written. Maybe I think that because I'm pretty much 20 years older than the last time I wrote a book. Oh, right. Not 20 years. Maybe just. Yeah, almost 20. So, yes, please check it out. Let's go back. Oh, and. And where you check it out is. Sorry about that. Distracted. My dog was just at the do. He was looking at me with those big, sad puppy eyes. Will you let me in? I'm like, nobody. You know where the open door is in the house. It's not in my office while I'm recording. Anyway, you can find the book on Amazon. You can pre order it now. That would be fabulous. I'm gonna have a bunch of amazing and fun things coming out. You'll be hearing about them soon if you haven't already. Especially if you are on my mailing list. Go to flowdreaming.com, by the way. I've got dozens of courses, about 200 audios that are really powerful manifesting activations. They're called flow dreams. That's what I spent my first 680 episodes of this, the last 18 seasons talking about. So do, do, do, check that Out. But I'll be doing some fun things. Book launch parties online with all of you. Maybe some free giveaways. God, I'm just, just. I've got so much planned. Anyway, please go check it out. You gotta get the book to. Well, I don't guess you don't have to get the book, but I would love it if you got the book to participate in all of these wonderful things with me. Okay, that's my ask. Here we go. We empaths. One of our weird hangups. Weird quasi self destructive slash, we feel ashamed, et cetera. Hang ups. This is one of the more heavy ones. But we take too many baths. We drink too much, smoke too much, smoke a little something something too much. We tend to find ways to get it all off us, even if we don't even know what the stuff we're trying to get off is. In other words, many, many years of my life, I used to shower two times a day before I. Way before I started doing my work with other people to the degree that I do now. But I'd get up in the morning and shower and I'd come home at night and shower. And these were not five minute showers, my friends. These were high water bill showers. I even talk about it in my early episodes, my early years here doing flow dreaming. The reason is I just felt grimy all the time. I felt like I've got to get something off me. I've got to get someone off me. I've got to get other people's thoughts off me, other people's feelings off me, other people's upsets, other people's thoughts about me off me. Wash it away. Wash it away. Wash it away. So a lot of us have tended to create weird habits and rituals to, to kind of help with this. Usually completely unconsciously, like we don't even realize that's what we're doing it for. Sometimes though, it can be, you know, a little bit more harsh on your body, a little more destructive. It can be that one glass of wine that is then two glasses of wine that is in three glasses of wine. It could be rolling that little smoke and smoking a little and then smoking a little more. Basically what you're doing is you're removing yourself, you're dulling yourself. You're kind of like, kind of like smearing the filters. You're saying nothing more can come in. I'm taking the windows from the inside and putting soap all over them. Nobody can see. I can't see out. It's all good. I've got My few hours of downtime. So if that's you, I get it. Totally normal, totally natural. Just try to find ways of cleansing yourself that are healthy and sustainable. Because some of these ways aren't really sustainable. In California, if you're showering twice a day, that's definitely not going to be sustainable. Likewise, drinking, smoking, etcetera, is something that's hard to keep up in the long run, Right? No judgment here. No. No shade about this. It's just if you keep it up in the long run, it's gonna dull those windows. It's gonna permanently obscure those windows. So find something. Find a way. Again, I can't go into all of that now, but there are ways. There are other ways that you can get it all off. You just notice the ones you kind of naturally were inclined to do. They could be a sign, could be telling you something. All right, here's. Here's one more. And tell you guys, this thing's gonna go on forever, right? I'll try and. I'll try and speed it up a bit, but when I started writing this list of weird things we do, I was like, oh, my God, I'm here. I go. I'm going more and more and more. I'm like, I've gotta stop or nobody's gonna want to be an empath by the time I'm done with these two episodes. Unfortunately, it's not something you get to pick, right? You just. You are or aren't. We hate it when people say, explain how you feel. Tell me why. You're right. Oh, God, dude, just. I hate that. Usually I'm in an argument with my husband. Tell me why. You're right. And I know exactly what he's looking for. He is looking for a well thought out argument based on logic that will help him see my point of view, convince me to come around. It's coming from oftentimes a generous place. But if you ask an empath, what we're saying is like, our tongues just stop working. I don't know how to explain how I feel. It's my intuitive knowing. I just know I feel it. I know I drink and I know things. Classic Game of Thrones line. Anyway, it's hard for us because we feel like we're being put on the spot. We feel like we're going to be judged. We feel like the strength of our evidence ain't going to hold up. Not for the logic or the science or the history or the person who's like a total nerd about facts. And they know all this Trivia. Oh, my gosh. When I am put in that situation, I feel like a tiny little kid trying to say, but I just know this. And the person looking at me is like, I know trivia for the last 50 years. Ask me anything and I will tell you. I'm like, great, I know that you know this stuff, but I know different stuff. And you're trying to make my stuff be as weighty as your stuff and equal to your stuff. But I can tell you fundamentally disrespect my stuff. And now you want me to not only defend what I'm talking about, but defend my way of knowing what I talk about. It's too much. And hands up in the air, walk away. That's a weird hang up. I admit I fall prey to that too sometimes. The next one here is that we sometimes cringe at that word psychic or medium, which I've already intimated earlier. I feel like people come with a lot of baggage. Like when you're psychic and it's cool, or you're a medium or you talk to dead people or do they hang around your bed? Do they float like little ghosties? There's all this stuff and, you know, half of it is just like, no, that's not how it works. No, that's not how I feel. No, that's not how I know. No, that's just kind of tv. No. So there's this, this side, just the inner side. Like, no, that's, that's not how I do it. It's not how I see it. I don't feel like explaining it all, but please don't call me a psychic because I know what that means in your mind. And I know too, you've got a lot of weirdness around it. You think maybe your angels are not going to like it. You think maybe you're, you know, you're not going to go to heaven because you talk to me. I like, I just, like, there's so much I just want to quietly tiptoe away. So if there are words or ways of referring to you, your ability, your knowledge, your inner cunning that you just rankle at, you have just an instinctive kind of, ugh, it's totally fair because you are reading into those words, you are reading into those terms and your terms are not going to be my terms. Or maybe they will, I don't know. But you know, like, you know. And here we go, the very, very last one. The weird things that we empaths, like, kind of do feel hang on to. Some of us haven't gotten over our religious ideas. So I'm going to call religion a hang up. I know this will get me in trouble with some of you. I will take your hate mail. But really, religions oftentimes have very structured, very codified meaning written out in no uncertain terms. Ways of defining what is legit, real godly communication and everything else. The flames of hell and we tussle and we pull and we tug and we want to go into it and we have shame around it. And it's like, but I feel this and I am this. But maybe it's not really real or it shouldn't be real, or maybe it's gonna get me in trouble or may I'm gonna have satanic visits. Look, it's a weird hang up. Let go of the religious stuff. Around your intuitive abilities, around your intuitive self. Honor all of the feelings that you have. Honor all of the knowing that you have. Ask yourself real deep and hard, would whatever faith I believe in tell me it is wrong when I am literally being given extra information, information that I could do very good, powerful work in the world with? Wouldn't it be weirder to turn your back to that out of fear or threat? This is why I feel intuition, mediumship, empathic intuition, talking to people as I do, living dead, wherever they may be. This is why I feel it is almost exempt from religious theory. Information is information is information is information. We are in an information age, folks. It's all we do, most of us is we just ingest information for hours and hours a day. Whether you're on a computer or you're at work talking with people. Information going back and forth. And then you get on your phone and you're scrolling through your Instagram and your TikTok and then you're looking for your online dating and see who's reached you. Information, it's going back and forth and back and forth. And somehow it's okay if it's coming through a phone, if it's coming through an app, if it's coming through a computer, but it's not okay if it's coming through your own dang brain. Your brain which preceded all of those, your brain which created all of those, all of those things, your phone, et cetera, are babies of mankind's humans, humankind's intellect and evolution. That's the primo supremo, top layer level. So you're, you're saying what I know the communication that I'm having in my heart with all that is with God, with, with people I love, with whomever it may be what you're saying is. No, I would say yes, yes, yes, yes. That's the number. I want more of that communication. That is the best communication. So I want you to think about any weird hang ups you might have around that. So this, this wraps it. I. I know I only did the one segment, the mailbag. I'll do some more. I'll do some more. I know you guys are like, what's your personal life update? I think it. I can't. I still can't believe you guys are so curious. But okay, yes, I will slowly let out a little more about me. I know you want to know about Flow Dreaming and my company and how I built it and where I'm going next and etc. I know, I know my family, which I'm always a little like. I can sometimes sometimes say stuff, sometimes not because still try to protect their privacy, but nonetheless. I'm gonna wrap, I'm gonna wrap and I just, I just want to say love to you guys. Thank you for hanging in there with me. If you are interested in your intuitive abilities, please reach out to me. Please email me summerlowdreaming.com@the very least, someday we should have a session together. You can see how it works from the way I do it. It's instructive. Not just because I get to tell you all about who you are and what your life holds and what your potentials are and more. But you get to see a way of like being completely open and owning this. And maybe that's something that you can step into as well. I firmly believe the more of us who are intuitively owning ourselves, all of us, all the information we receive, the better this world is going to be, right? The less fearful, the less scared, the less toxic. So I'm on a mission. I'm on a rampage. And yes, someday, someday, someday the book, the course will come out. I'm teasing you with it now because I'm just in the thick of writing it. But I do have a great book coming out. Stuff nobody taught you. Please look it up on Amazon. Please also get on my mailing list. Go to flow dreaming.com if you haven't already check things out. I have such a beautiful library. Hundreds of things we can work on for you in your life. To change, to grow, to expand. All right my darlings, that's it. I will talk with you again for another episode of. Oh God. I was about to say Flow Dreaming but I'm now going to say still. Still kind of woo woo.