701: Where Are you in the 4 Stages of Growth and Reinvention?

What stage of inner growth are you in? What if there are 4? 4 basic layers? 4 levels? Are you a striver, a revitalizer, a next leveler, or a long gamer? We're gonna find out today which one you are, what stage you're in in your life right now. So join me and we'll learn how these four layers form, when they occur and and how to get the most out of whatever layer or level of growth you're in, as well as how to successfully shift from one to the next. Are you ready? It's going to open your eyes. Flow Dreaming still kind of Woo Woo is just what it sounds like. An escape into the world of woo. Also a ride into you and how to feel happier, wiser and more self aware in every way. It's your ultimate journey into personal growth and inner power. We'll explore ideas like how your energy self influences the kinds of opportunities you encounter, or how your personal growth can drive your business growth, or even how that feeling of being stuck is really always coming from something else. We just have to figure out what. That's right. We're a dash of Woo Woo. A sprinkle of self care, a heap of problem solving and pattern busting, and a giant cup of encouragement. We're going to relight so much passion, purpose, self love and confidence in you that you practically stagger. I'm Summer McStravik, your host and welcome to Flow Dreaming. Still kinda Woo Woo. So I promised you you in the beginning that I was going to share with you the four layers or levels. I hate saying levels. How about stages? Because it's not as if you have to do one to get to the other or that one is even better than the other. They're just four layers or stages that we all tend to move through or travel through as we grow as humans, as we grow our consciousnesses, as we grow in our lives, with our families and our friendships or marriages, period. As we grow. Now, many of you know because you've been listening for 10 years, 19 years perhaps, to this show and you know that I've worked with thousands and thousands of people. I have a perspective that is pretty deep. My well runs very deep when it comes to looking at people, looking at their patterns, looking at their blocks, their limitations, as well as where they excel, where the road is free and clear for them. And over time I started to sort of quietly categorize people in my mind. I know you're thinking I've talked to you, Summer. Did you categorize me? Possibly. I may have. I did it for a long time, really subconsciously, and only recently have I thought, you know what, there are these buckets. So I'm going to share with you today what these buckets are and you're going to figure out if that's the bucket you're in. All right? Are you ready to go? Yes, yes. Good, good, good. By the way, when you figure out what stage or level you're in, a lot of things are going to start to make more sense to you. And not only that, but you won't try to use the same tactics that you used in different levels. You'll understand that I have to switch. This one doesn't work when I'm in this stage, even though it worked in that stage. And guys, self awareness, that is the key, right? The key to just about everything. So let's begin. I'm going to start right now with strivers. Oh, my gosh. I spent so much of my life in this particular stage. The bulk of my life, I would say. By the way, these stages, they're not always based on youth to, you know, middle age, to being old. They can be, but they're not always. Also, they're not all equal in length. You might be a striver for three years and a revitalizer for eight. We'll see. So take all the concepts of time. Just sweep those away for a minute here and hear me out, strivers. You know how you feel. We feel like I need to make something, I need to build something, I need to prove something, I need to grow something, I need to become something. I need to see who I am, what I'm made of, and I am hungry for it. And I'm gonna figure it out. And I make a lot of moves and a lot of choices. Sometimes they're dumb and I get nowhere, but it's okay because I kind of feel like I can recover. I've got time. I've got time to try things out. Not only that, but sometimes I'm trying things out and I don't even really think about what happens if I don't succeed. That's not really even in my head. I mean, it's kind of there theoretically, but it's not really, really there. Strivers, you know, you're often at that stage where you're getting married and maybe you're having kids or you're starting a career and maybe you're even quitting a career and starting a new career and you just feel like, yeah, I just haven't found my place yet. But I think I'm Just, I know I'm getting there. I'm going for it, I'm going for it. And that feeling propels you not just in work, but again, like I said in your personal life, I'm ready. I want to have this family, I want to have this relationship. I want to get to know myself better. I want to see what I can do, what are my talents, where do I sing in life? That's you when you're striving. And this is a great, good, oh, so incredibly juicy period. A period of energy. It's also a period of torment and loss sometimes because yeah, we hit the high highs and then we hit the lows and then we hit the highs again and then we hit the lows again. But every time we have bounce back, ability, right? We're on a trampoline and we're just like going up. Oh, going down, going up, going down. Still striving, still jumping, still jumping. Does this sound like you or does it sound like a stage you were once in? Again, characteristics. Not necessarily being too concerned about whether you achieve or fail because you'll just do it again. You have more chances. The world is spread in front of you. A fearlessness, a freedom. I'll do this and then I'll do that and then I'll change to this. And maybe you've had some incredible successes as well as some incredible losses, but you know, you're not quite there yet, not where you want to be, but you're getting there. Got it? That is the striver phase. Now, for many of us, this happens as you guessed it. We're in our late teens, we're in our 20s, we're even in our 30s, maybe even 40s. It can be any or all of these decades. But then, then comes a new phase, your next phase. Revitalizers. Now, a revitalizer is someone who's been through a few knocks, right? Maybe more than a few. We've been there, we've done that. We don't know what we want now. We're unsure. We know that where we've been, we're not going back to. We don't know exactly where we're going. It's kind of a lost middle period. This lost middle is actually a really. The word is fecund. I know, it's a weird word, right? It means it's a very powerful stage of growth, of things sort of digesting, assimilating, percolating. It's a stage we have to be in. It's a stage though, that also can be just fraught with insecurity, self doubt, or senses of looking back. Okay, back then it was great. Back then I was happily married. Back then I had my babies that are all grown up and gone now. Back then I had the best job ever. Back then my parents were both with me and my family was close back then. So we can suffer from some look back, but we're also, as we look forward, wondering, God, what do I need? What do I want now? What would make me happy and satisfied? Because when I was a striver, I kind of knew, or at least there was no shortage of things to try. But now, as a revitalizer, I'm not even sure what to try. Revitalizer is the term that I'm using for us, those of us in this stage, because what we're really looking for is to be able to transition into the next phase. And I call it the lost middle. But unless you're in that lost middle, it's like taking a little sailboat from one island to another. There will be moments in the open sea where you have no idea where you are. The old island is done, it's depleted, There are no more coconuts. The new island is out of sight, but it's there. And our goal is to revitalize, refresh, renew ourselves. It is a well known phase of being and it's one that you can maximize and completely grow from. So, by the way, this reminds me, I just wrote a book about this. I know you think, oh, you planned that? No, I didn't plan that, actually, but I did. It's called stuff nobody taught you. And you can find it on Audible, audiobooks.com, amazon, Barnes and Noble, Goodreads, look it up any place. In fact, it just won a book award. Yeah, I'm pretty stoked on that. It won the first place, actually, in the International Book Awards contest in the self help and motivational categories. But it's for you guys who are in this revitalization mode, meaning I'm becoming something else. I'm not letting go of where I'm going or my growth, but I'm just not sure what to do at this point to bring myself back again. Anyway, pick up that book. You're gonna love it. Okay. All right. The point of revitalization mode is, or stage is you must pass through it. And you can either shy away from it, turn your head, or you can embrace it. Now, what happens if you embrace it? It's gonna go so much faster. You're going to reach again that hungry place. Maybe not as hungry as when you were striving. Or maybe you'll go back into striving and actually striving this time for something that you want, not something that other people told you you should want or ways that you should live. Maybe this is fully your own and you can shift back into striving. But some of us are just going to revitalize. We're gonna say, yeah, this is what I wanna try. And I'm ready to get those feelings back in me of, I want this. This could make me happy. I'm going to try this and I'm going to let go of all fear around this. Got it? Does that, does that sound like you? Yes. Good. We're going to keep going because I don't want this to be an hour long episode today. I kind of want to keep it short and sweet. We'll see how well I do. But this reminds me, I'm going to take a moment right now for a station ad break and let you know about a few cool things that are going on in the land of Flow Dreaming. By the way, Flow Dreaming is my company. It's what supports this entire podcast and has for almost the last 20 years. I invite you to go check out flowdreaming.com but as well as that, I have a couple very awesome things going on right now. One is called One Brilliant Thing. It's a free summertime series. We get together, we manifest and we create five days a week, half an hour each day, one week a month, over four months. So total 20 times together, going in there, building, creating, flowing, manifesting. I invite you, it's a totally free thing and it's so full of energy. It's like goodness on wheels. It's amazing to find out how to participate because we've got a couple of months still left and you can drop in anytime. People are still dropping in, right? Even now, even yesterday. Bunch of people signed up for it. So go to flowdreaming.com and you're going to find the signup link for that. Next, I am bringing in a series of private students. Some of them are with me just for the summer. Some are going to be with me all year. My private students, my private clients are ones who make, I mean, episodic gains. Just huge. Just one after another, like, boom, here's another one, here's another one, here's another one. We do all the work. We do the growth work. We do the exploring our limitations and lack thinking work. We do the what am I actually capable of? What are my strengths? What Is my greatness work? We do the. And I'm actually able to do these things work. So a lot of my revitalizers and strivers, by the way, are with me right now doing this work. We are doing it together, one on one in this kind of beautiful private coaching. If this interests you, you can email me summerlowdreaming.com Please don't be shy. Sometimes people feel awkward about emailing. Don't. And if you're not into emailing, well, you can try to reach me through my social channels. I'm just not as consistent there because I try to keep my, my brain funneled into only a couple of channels so I can stay focused in my life, if you know what I'm saying. So best way is just to send me an email and, or go to my website and you will see some opportunities for reaching out and getting some personalized recommendations from me. And we're talking about working together. So that's what's going on. I don't always accept new private clients one on ones like this. So it's kind of exciting and I would love to work with you. All right, station break is over. Let us return. Let us return to what stage or phase are you in in your life and how can you use this phase best? Right? That's very, very important for me. How do you best use it? Strivers? You're best using it by staying focused and clear. Right? Your genius comes from the very flexibility right now in your thinking that you take for granted. Revitalizers. The way you use it is you embrace it. You don't fight it. You don't say what's wrong with me? You embrace it and you say, I am in a period of revitalization in my life. And revitalizations could have been provoked by any number of things, any kinds of transitions or just long term burnout or just being done. Even people that I've spoken with who've mastered something, they're at the top of their game and they're like, I'm so done with this. I'm like, you are revitalizing, aren't you? Uh huh, exactly. The next stage though is what I call a next leveler. Right? A next leveler. I love you guys. I have been in this stage several times in my life and next leveling sometimes isn't one that lasts like a decade. Sometimes it's like, you know, eight months or two years or four years. But it's got a certain distinctive, sweet, fabulous quality to it. It feels like this. I am achieving Something, and it is working. I am happy. I have perhaps the relationship that I love, the family that I wanted. I have a good career brewing and going. But there's something else. I'm ready for it. Like, everything is great. I'm not looking backward or trying to fix something right now. It's all going good. If anything, I'm kind of staring out in front of me and thinking, damn, how big can I grow this? Wow. How solid can I make this? Wow. How many people could I impact with this? So I see this a lot in people who have found something, found their calling, found their passion. They are coaches, they are teachers. They are entrepreneurs. They are people who at work have kind of reached those upper levels. And they're saying, now what? I can next level this, I can expand this. An example, I was talking with a woman today. She actually owns a hardware store with her husband. And I said, so where are you going with it? She said, well, I don't. I don't know. Just. It's great. I mean, we're doing really well. I said, well, are you gonna franchise? What? Where are you going? And she's like, I don't know. I said, you need to next level. Like, you're. You're sitting there, like, waiting to next level. What's it gonna be? Wouldn't you like to find out? And there comes a moment in your mind where you think, either I'm next leveling, or I'm just going to get complacent and sit here and ride this wave to the shore. But when you get complacent and you ride the wave to the shore, what happens? By the way, that's a surfing term. I live in California. So you ride the wave to the shore. It means now you're stuck on the sand, you got to walk all the way back out and paddle all the way back out and kind of start over. You don't want to ride the wave back to the shore. You want to catch a wave, catch another wave, find a bigger wave, see what you can surf. That's next leveling. I love working with next levelers because basically, they're thinking, your thinking has taken you pretty darn far, like, really far. But it's maybe kind of plateaued. And you're thinking, there is something more. I am not sure what, but I want to go there, and I want to see. So you've got a bit of striver in you, right? Like, what can I do? And I'm kind of fearless around it. But you're not fully striver because you're content. You're kind of like, I could ride this wave to shore, but I don't want to end up stuck on the sand. I want to keep going. I want to figure out how to make this easier. I want to make what I've been building or doing in my life happen with more joy and more ease. I like what I've made, but I want to make what I've done and how I'm doing it be even easier, be even more impactful. You, you are ready to next level. And when you're in the phase of next leveling, the way you take full advantage of it is you're recognizing I have the ability to take risks and chances like I was when I was striving. But I also have a sweet, solid foundation under me, which means the sky is the limit. I wonder how far I can go. And that's where you end up going. It's an energy, it's a propulsion. And in flow, dreaming, right? Using energy and emotion, which I teach, we figure out, how high can you go? What will it take? What are the assets and resources you've already got inside you? Where is the hidden income? We look for that. That is the next leveler. Which brings us finally, finally to the fourth phase, the long gamer. Now, the long gamer often doesn't happen true until later in life. The long gamer is usually this person, perhaps you or me, we've made something great. We've done well. Maybe as a family, you've got kids and grandkids and everybody's happy and everyone's going to college. You're like, yep, check those boxes. Everybody's doing great. I love it. Maybe it was work. Maybe you are sitting there at the top of your profession or your career and you're like, what do I do now? I don't want to just retire. I don't want to just like sit around. I mean, I'd like to for about a year. And then I want a passion. I want to give back. I want purpose. I want to be interacting with people and having tons of friends and going places and traveling and having a great time. Great. Let's think long game now. It's not only retirees. I talk to people who've been successful in their lives. In fact, quite a few of my clients right now are in this boat. They've done really well. They're still doing well. They got a little dash of striving, still a little dash of next leveling. But I'm turning them and I'm saying, what is the Long game, where are you going to be in 10 years? What's your exit strategy? An exit strategy, it's one of those weird terms that people use in, you know, startups or corporate. Doesn't really trickle down into us in our individual lives very much. But exit strategy is a real thing. And what it means is this. I intend to sell my company. I intend to build it to a point where I can pass it on to my children. I intend to retire, hire with X amount of dollars, and then start my secondary career for pure pleasure. Quote, quote career for pleasure. My long game is to be a mentor. My long game is to be a teacher. My long game is to finally explore my intuitive skills and those parts of myself that I always had to like, shove to the side or just kind of say, haha, funny hobby. But I really want to discover that. My long game is to see who I really am and what I'm giving now that all the pressure is off. Like, who would you be if you had no pressure, no financial pressure, no more, you know, having to navigate the family pressure of maybe raising children or whatever it may be, what would you do? Long game. Long game can be a very beautiful phase to be in because you realize this is the uppermost of my limited thinking. Whatever I can think here is actually what could come to pass and where I prevent myself from thinking bigger. Now I know, like, I reached the top of the building, there's ain't no more floors above me. So long game is really insightful. It's that moment of delighting and treasuring in all that you're doing, but also recognizing, this is it. I think I've reached my capacity. I have sung my song, I have found it, and I will sing it for 10 years, 20 years, 30 years. Again, you can be a long gamer at any stage of your life. All of these phases, they tend to go sometimes in order for most of us, but the revitalizer can pop up at any point, frankly. But chances are you have been or you will go through all of them. Each one of them yields their own specific gorgeous gems. And what do these gems mean or do or feel like a specific kind of contentment, a specific form of success, a specific form of inner safety or freedom. Each one, each one can yield this. Now, each one of these levels, as you've maybe heard me hint, can also have a bit of a dark side. And that's where we get stuck in them, get stuck in each of these levels or feel unable to move past them or through them. If you are Feeling sort of the dark side of being a striver, then you might be feeling like, I'm trying so hard and not getting as far as fast as I want. There's a frustration I. A hungering frustration that can erupt as a striver. I'm being overlooked or not seen or not given opportunities or I'm trying things and they're breaking and falling apart. If you're a revitalizer, your dark side is, when will I ever know? Maybe I'm all done. Maybe I'm washed up. Maybe that's all there is. What if I can never figure out something else? What if I can never become successful? If you are a next leveler, yeah, even your dark side, you're like, I'm sitting pretty. But your dark side is, I think this is all there is. And there's a vague feeling of satisfaction mixed with feelings of, is that all there is? Did I do it? Is that really enough? Am I supposed to be content with this? Because I'm not. And finally, the dark side of being a long gamer is here I am looking to the future, but I don't really want to. I'm kind of afraid of doing that. I don't want to think about my legacy. I don't want to think about how I'm taking my life's work, taking my greatest creations and passing them on or growing them to the next phase. I'm too tired for that, or I'm not sure I want to do that because it might mean I'm done. So you can see you aren't alone. I think if there is anything you're getting from today, you are not alone in any of these phases. They have beautiful sides and they have dark sides. And in every single one of them, there is a way out and a way through. Here is the ultimate goal that we don't not be in one of these phases, because we are going to be in one of these phases. If you are a devotee of personal growth, of your personal best, of seeing, what can I do in this darn single, beautiful, one gorgeous lifespan? I've been given in this body as this personality in me, if that is you, and chances are it's kind of you. Because, like, we're all birds of a feather on this particular podcast, right? Chances are, if that's you, what you're saying is I want to take whatever phase I'm in and I want to dig all the beauty from it. I want to get all the riches from it. I want to move through it at whatever pace is right And I'll shift around through all of these different ones. But I want everyone to feel like, mm, that was tasty. Mm. I did that. I wanna feel like if I'm striving. Oh, I am striving because I feel joyful, I feel secure. I feel like I could take some beautiful, moderate, healthy risks. I can start over. I've got the world in front of me. I've got time. If I'm a revitalizer, I wanna feel like, yeah, this is the moment when I'm sitting, sitting here and the tide is low and I'm looking at all the shells on the beach and wondering, what am I doing? What have I done? Where am I going? And you know what? I walk right through it and I discover what's on the other side. And I say, oh, really? I found you. Here you are. I always knew you were there. I knew it. If you're a next leveler, I want you to feel like, you know, maybe I wasn't even thinking big enough like I thought I was, but now that I'm really here, oh, my God, there was so much more. So much more I could do or give. There's so much more security I could arrive at in myself, in my heart, for my family. There's so much more. And I can. And if you're a long gamer, I want you feeling like, wow. Everything I did had a beautiful and gorgeous purpose. I was truly a gift to this world. And of course, maybe not all the time, because we always feel like we stumble and fall, but overall, what I gave was good and it fills me and I'm content. And there is a smile across my face and it keeps giving. And I was important in my own small way. This. This, my friends, is what I want for all of us. And this is what's possible no matter where you are at. So please, please, please take comfort right now in whichever one of these phases you're in. Take comfort. It's not weird. It's not bad. It's right on time. Ding, ding, the train arrived. It is right on time for you. And if it has arrived for you, whatever phase it is, it means that a bigger part of you, perhaps what you would call your soul, part of you, Your greater part of you, said, hey, it's time for this now. Here we go. Here we are. This is perfect. Can you be in this? And your answer is to nod your head up and down, yeah, I can be in this. And then double down on that, nodding and say, not only can I be in this, but I want to be in this. And if you can't say that, then you say, I'm gonna do whatever it takes for me to want to be in this. Because there's something beautiful here. There is buried treasure at the bottom of this sand pit, and I will find it. That is personal growth in a beautiful nutshell. I mean, there's more to it, of course, but I think this is one nice paradigm, one way of looking at it. That really feels good, that reminds you that where you are right now is great. It's perfect. It's wonderful. It's no better or worse than any of the other phases. What are you gonna do with it? Life gave it to you. What are you gonna do with it? And that's what I asked myself every day, every year, every number of years, as I shift and flow between all of them. And when I work with my students, we're doing the same thing. Where are you? What do we need? What pieces aren't working? What pieces are working? Let's double down on the ones that are, and let's figure out the way through or how to embrace the ones that aren't so that they no longer are really any issue at all for us. That is what I do. That's what you can do. And with that, we're gonna wrap up today's episode of Flow Dreaming. I know today was mostly about mindset, big picture stuff, but I think it's insightful. Like, the more you know about yourself, you know, dang, the better you are in life in every single way, the better you are around the people that love you and know you. And that's always been my goal. Be a better person around the people who know me and love me and be a better person to myself. So with that, I'm gonna say love to you all. I will see you next episode. I sure, sure, sure hope some of you reach out and maybe we'll talk about doing some coaching together. Right? Everything I just described. If I talk to you and talk to your soul, you probably know I've seen this and done this and worked through this with many, many people. Not just you. You would not be my first timer on this. You would be someone I've worked with many times before in a very good way because it means that I can see this pretty quickly and show you. Oh, walk over here, Go over here, do this, do that. Yeah. Here's your next step. So there you go. Lots of love to you. Thank you for spending time with me today. And I'll see you next week for more beautiful gorgeous mindset, insight, Flow Dreaming, energy work, emotional growth, manifesting, and more. With Flow Dreaming still kind of Woo woo. So this show is in its 19th season. 19 years, folks. Which means if you want to see Baby Summer and all that she was obsessed about you, can I just put 10 seasons of archives up into Apple Podcasts and at the moment there's a seven day free trial. This means you can binge to your heart's delight. You'll hear hundreds of Flow Dreams, all kinds of specialized manifesting topics. So much all you do is go to Apple Podcasts on your iPhone, or get the Apple Podcasts app on any phone. Or even just google the search words Apple Podcasts Flow Dreaming. Anyway, it was a big endeavor, but I'm so happy to re release so many hundreds of episodes for you. Check it out.