738: How to Know If There’s a Narcissist in Your Life & What To Do About It

Is there a narcissist hiding somewhere in your life? All this talk about narcissism and this is a continuation of the last episode, number 737, where I was helping people discover what to do once they are with a narcissist and where to go. But I'm gonna back up a little bit here. We're just gonna find out first of all, who's in your life and do they deserve to be there. And once we figure that out, we're gonna continue with some of those wonderful and beautiful ways to rebuild yourself, strengthen your fortress, and make sure you are never tackled or taken down again.

Flow Dreaming still kinda Woo Woo is just what it sounds like. An escape into the world of woo. Also a ride into you and how to feel happier, wiser and more self aware in every way. It's your ultimate journey into personal growth and inner power. We'll explore ideas like how your energy self influences the kinds of opportunities you.

Encounter, or how your personal growth can.

Drive your business growth, or even how that feeling of being stuck is really always coming from something else. We just have to figure out what. That's right.

We're a dash of woo woo. A sprinkle of of self care, a heap of problem solving and pattern busting.

And a giant cup of encouragement. We're going to relight so much passion, purpose, self love and confidence in you that you practically stagger. I'm Summer McStravik, your host and welcome to Flow Dreaming. Still kinda woo woo.

Hey friends, Summer here and welcome. Welcome to Flow Dreaming still kind of woo woo. I am following up the last episode that we did, number 737, because I realized I simply could not get through all of the points and the observations that I wanted to share with you. I started with this idea of sharing really that I've been helping quite a few people move through and past and heal from narcissistic abuse. Now, I'm not a therapist, so you guys, straight up, I'm a spiritual counselor. I work with energy. I teach manifesting and I teach especially personal power. How to feed it, water it, make it bloom, and give yourself permission to know and be the strong, intelligent, trustworthy, worthy person that you actually are. And that means in many cases that getting rid of the parasites in the garden, getting rid of the bugs in the garden. And that's what we're doing today, helping you discover where are those people who may be drinking your life force like a, like a leech or a tick. And the popular name for them today is narcissus but there's frankly a whole lot of people who fall under that category. People who are soul stealers, psychic vampires. Been a lot of different ways of describing it. And yeah, I encourage you to also check back. I did an Episode number 718 Where I Kind of started this series and I titled it why Narcissists Love Empaths. Well, if you couple that with the last episode and this current one, it's sort of like a mini masterclass in how people who are sensitive and loving and wide open, like many of us are, how and why we get people like this in our world and what to do with them and how we can recover and move on from them with as little damage as possible. And when there is damage, how we heal it and how we thank them and say, I grew from that and I'm a different person as a result. And I really like the person that I've become as a result. So again, we're going to be talking today about how to grow, how to heal, how to not just understand if someone is impacting you like this, but what the lasting repercussion of that is and what you do about it. So I was very much inspired because as I've mentioned before, I've been working with a number of people who have been surviving these kinds of relationships. Whether they are personal, intimate, romantic relationships or work style relationships, family relationships. We have these kinds of people everywhere. And you know, I, I also recognize that the narcissist is not, you know, coming up from the depths of hell. They are people too, and they have certain needs and certain requirements and they get to play a certain kind of. Of. Well, what's the opposite of victim? Right? A terror, perhaps for us. And to us, everybody is in a role with one another. Sometimes we're the good guys and sometimes we're the bad guys. But what ends up happening is everybody is teaching everybody else something about who you are, about what you've experienced, about who you are inside of certain situations. So I don't want to throw everybody off the bus who's a narcissist right now. But I want you to understand that the other side does struggle. The empaths and people such as myself, we do struggle because our desire is generally to lean into feeling like, I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I will give you 1,000 extra chances. I will wait till tomorrow before I decide. I will tell myself that maybe it wasn't really that way. I just thought it was that way. I will talk myself out of so many things for you and on your behalf. However, there comes a point where once we've experienced that, we also change and we're the ones who now say no. Now it's your turn to change and we throw that ball right back into your court so that you have the opportunity to grow through your narcissism or whatever it is that's causing you to need to control or potentially take power away from others. Okay, so let's get back to some of the notes that I have before we do Wishing you all really happy holidays this year. If you are part of the Stardust Society Flow Dreaming Mastermind. Welcome, welcome, welcome. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, make sure to go to flowdreaming.com get on my email list and I will send you an invitation. It is a free group. We talk about power, personal power. We talk about lack and scarcity, thinking and limiting beliefs. We talk a lot about manifesting and of course flow Dreaming. We work with our emotional selves. We become strong, rich, happy and successful. All of my favorite topics are happening there where we talk together for free. And if you want to join at a larger level, you are totally welcome to I teach a workshop every month. I get to see your beautiful faces and lead you through some pretty deep and profound exercises. So with that said, let's jump in here. So I went through four points in the last episode and I'm just going to jump in and kind of continue on from there. And hopefully you can. You can kind of catch up or just dive in here with me because I don't want to repeat myself too much. When you are discovering if you have a narcissist in your life or not, there are so many telltale signs. But unfortunately, when you're with one, you don't see those signs because it's so natural. It feels so normal to you. Especially if you grew up in a home or, you know, a household where there was a narcissist, they became normalized. As you grow older and or after you've been through a relationship or have been in a relationship for a long time or a workplace like this, you start to realize this is not normal. And you know why? Because I feel like crap. I am doubting myself every day. Every day I'm getting angry at myself for not saying what I thought I should have said, for backing down when I should have stood up. I realized that I was avoiding conflict. I realized that it was easier just to make it go away and be quiet and wait till morning than to deal with it it was all these strategies and coping mechanisms really that we develop along the way. And we do this because we don't want to be hurt. It makes perfect 100% sense. And sometimes we're actually physically protecting ourselves and our family with these strategies. Sometimes we're just emotionally protecting ourselves. And oftentimes it's both. You will know if you have people like this in your life, when you are constantly feeling as if you are feeling a way about them and then they throw it right back in your face and say, no, that's you. It's like gaslighting. Especially when they say, oh, you, you said that happened. That really didn't happen. And you, you, you think you're going crazy. What do you mean? I, I saw that. I, I saw that on your phone or I, I heard you say that to someone else. Or, you know, you got home at 3:00am and, and you, you, you smelled like cigarette smoke and, and booze. What do you mean you weren't out of bar? What. When we are cast into this space of constantly doubting ourselves, this is a red flag. I mean, there is a narcissist in, somewhere in this environment, wherever this is. If you're at work and you have somebody saying to you constantly, you're not doing a good job and you know, you're always, you're behind and other so and so is better than you. And I'm not going to give you help, I'm not going to give you resources, I'm not inviting you to the meeting, even though I invited everybody else to the meeting. You've got somebody, you've got somebody who's a narcissist. There's something going on. And oftentimes the, the one best way to see this is to have someone in your life who can give you a point of contrast. This is where we find ourselves going to a therapist or going to a spiritual counselor such as myself, because we're the person who says no. This boss should be saying to you, I really appreciate what you're giving to our community. Your work is amazing. Or I know you can do amazing work. What supports do you need? Because I feel like we haven't given you what you need so that you can really grow and expand here. Can you just feel right there, like the shift in your chest, like, oh my God, yes. If somebody could just say that to me, I would eat that up. I would drink that in. Can you imagine if your partner said to you, I know that you've come from betrayed trail in your past and you're you're unsure, here's my phone and here's my password. And have at it. Take. Have it for an hour. Take. Pick it up whenever you want. And yeah, I want to introduce you to all my friends, ask them all the questions. Here's my family. Go meet them. Of course, you can control your own money or have your own bank accounts, whatever you want. I want us to be happy and joyful together. I don't need those things from you in order for you to prove to me how much you care about me or trust me. Okay. Again, I'm sort of modeling for you the contrast, the difference, so that you can really start to see and hear because that is often the. The point that really breaks things open. We don't get enough of that contrast. We don't hear that. We've not been environments like that. And as I stated in the last episode, many of us are empaths, right? Which just doubles down on our whole susceptibility to be involved in situations like this. So here you are. You're going to start gaining sources of contrast. That's the first thing I want you to look at. Now, you might run off to a friend and say, so this and this and that happened. What do you. What do you think about that? And you know the difference between a friend who just says, oh, yeah, they're terrible, they're blah, blah, blah, and a friend who can actually point out, well, here is what my partner would have said, or here is what my parent would have said. And the ones who can do that for you, those are the ones you want to go to, not the ones who are just going to reiterate to you, yeah, that was a crappy thing and you should do this and you should do that. If there's a lot of you shoulding going on, the chances are you'll hear it, but you won't be able to really respond or react to it because you can't do something like that until you feel empowered. They're just. They're just shooting noise. They're shooting their breath right across your face as they say that. Not realizing that you have a lot of healing to do, a lot of strengthening to do before you're going to actually be able to say, I'm leaving and I'm not coming back, or I'm finding a job that sees and values me or, mom, you've talked to me like this my whole life. Every time you say this, it makes me feel terrible. And I don't know why you do that, but I wish you would never do it again. That takes some something to say. And we can't force ourselves into that state of power to say that. We have to gently nurture ourselves. We have to grow ourselves into that state of power. So people who have been in narcissistic relationships or workplaces, you have to remember, first of all, you're not a victim. I know there's this tendency out there to say you're the victim and they're the. Oh, perpetrator. That was the word I was looking for earlier. You're not the victim. And there's nothing inherently weaker about you. Sometimes we think there is. They're the stronger one. I'm the weaker one. It's not. You're strong. And I know that because a lot of the, the people that I've worked with have been very, very strong. They have. They have built careers in positions of power in large companies, directing, you know, 10, 20, 30, 100 people. But when they go home, everything flips. There's strength in there. It's something else going on. Someone is holding the power, and it's not you. That's it. Now, power is something that gets tossed back and forth between two people. It's like playing a good game of tennis or pickleball nowadays, right? If one person grabs and holds the ball, you're not playing by default, like, what's going on? Get off the court. Power is meant to be shared and tossed back and forth. I have it a little. You have it some. I have it some. You have it some. The best partnerships, the best workplaces, there is a shared amount going back and forth. So you're. You're gonna let go of this idea that somehow you are the weaker one. You know how I know that? Because trying to control somebody else doesn't take a lot of strength, right? They may be holding the power, they may be keeping you in line, telling you what to think, telling you that you're wrong, telling you how things, how things should be done, telling you that you acted like this or you behave like that and people don't like it, and you should tell me these things. And you shouldn't think that about me, and you shouldn't spy on me, and you shouldn't not trust me, and you shouldn't all the things, right? But I know you're actually potentially very likely the stronger one, because in the end, you're going to be the one doing the harder thing. Leaving takes more guts than trying to control someone. Leaving is being able to look at a situation and say, I am worth More than this. I deserve more than this. Your narcissist is probably never going to do that with you. They're not going to say to you, I deserve more than this. I'm leaving. Because they're getting what they need from you. You're giving all of you to them. They won't do it. You will. And that's frankly what a lot of us are scared of. I will be on my own. I won't know what to do. I don't know if I can survive. I don't know that I want to be the person in the family that no one talks to. I don't know that I can give up this really, you know, well paying position, even though it's breaking me down. But eventually, eventually the chances are pretty high you're going to end this narcissistic relationship. And if you don't, you. We all know relationships that end up being really bad for a very long time. Maybe we even had parents like that. You know where this goes. So the question is, are you going to do it now or are you going to do it later? When are you going to be ready? And when you start to realize an inevitability to this relationship ending, then it becomes more and more clear, much more quickly. Well, what am I? What am I waiting for if it's going to happen? What why now? Partly what's happening during the what why period is you're building up strength again. Think of it like, again, to use the word energy vampire. You've got somebody who's been sort of sucking your energy for a long time, topping up their own at the expense of yours. And one day you realize, I need to storehouse some of my own power and energy back here again. How are you going to do that? How are you going to build up enough so that one day you can actually say, I'm gone. No, no more. I'm right and I know I'm right and I feel my worth and I deserve much more than this. You can start with simple things, physical things, consciously building strength. There's physical strength, and then there's emotional, energetic strength. Start with physical strength. If that's the easiest. Start going to the gym, take up kickboxing, take up fencing, go backpacking. Do anything that starts to feel or feel like you're growing your strength, right? That creates a sense of defense that feels authentic for you. Having that bedrock of your body feel strong can catalyze you or send you into a feeling of feeling more emotionally and energetically strong. Energetically and emotionally strong. Is starting to feel things like, I'm deeply lovable. I am a hot catch. I'm somebody who would benefit any of a dozen incredible companies. And when I walk in that room and get on that phone or have that interview, everyone can sense it from me. I would be fabulous on your team. I bring so much to this. And even if I'm not completely skilled up in whatever it is I'm interviewing for, I'm the kind of person who's not going to let go until I am skilled up. You can count on me. You can put your money on me and it will pay off. You will brag about me and how awesome it was that you figured out to hire me. That's how I want you to feel about me. Now, that might seem like a little extreme, I know, but again, I'm trying to model for you. This is the inner power and strength. Now, how do we build that? That's different than taking up kickboxing, right? Well, this is where I use flow dreaming. This is where when I'm working with somebody, we go in and we model these strong, clear, emotional spaces inside of ourself. How do you want to feel in a relationship? How do you want to engage with this partner or this family member? Now, if you know that they may not change, let's say it is a family member. Let's say it's a parent, Right? And you have a choice. I can cut them off. Yeah, that's a choice. But you know, I want to see my siblings every holiday, so I'm not going to completely cut them off. This is all decisions. You get to make all of these decisions, by the way, and they're not right or wrong. So then in that case, how are you going to encounter them? What kind of emotional strength so that you can arrive and not leave feeling like somebody just wrung you out like an old washcloth? Well, there's a tendency to want to go back to our old ways and to just kind of fall in line and fall in place and keep our mouth shut and just let it hit us. However, when you grow to a certain kind of inner, inner power, when you are practicing feelings of, I can speak my truth, I have strong boundaries. People admire me for those boundaries. That's the healthiest thing I can do. You're automatically going to be encountering the narcissist around you differently. They won't change. You do, though. You're the one who ends up changing the rules and they're forced to change in response. That's the last thing they want to do, but they can't help it if you aren't acting the same way. They can't do the same things. So when you're changing inside, they shift as well. And maybe what you're saying is, no, I, I don't appreciate you speaking that way to me or to my sister. And we are not going to listen to any more of this. And we're leaving the room now. And maybe that causes a big, you know, brouhaha because narcissists are pretty good at gathering attention. And afterwards, again, this comes without any sense of you're not getting anybody back or you're trying one up. It's not an argument even, it's just a very clear understanding. It's actually fueled by compassion. Here's a little bit more where the compassion comes in. For all this time, the narcissist has been taught that they need to get what they want from other people. They have to get it from someone else. Get their needs met, get their feelings filled up, get their sense of validation, their confidence filled up by other people. Have other people tell them you're a good person, no matter what horrible things you do, you're still a good person they're looking for outside. And what you're instead saying is no, you actually get to sit in your own feelings and your own actions for a while. And that's the gift I'm giving back to you. You're not going to get it from someone else. You're going to look inside yourself and you get to sit and be with you. Now we in the personal growth world and the spirituality world, we're often the first ones who say that the gift of personal growth is the greatest that you can have. The better that you become inside, the more self aware, the more compassionate, the more the entire world outside you benefits. You're giving the narcissist an opportunity to grow up and grow through and change. That's the most loving thing you can do for them. So if you have the ability to do that in a safe way, that's strong and that's powerful. Now sometimes you don't have a way to do it in a safe way because your narcissist goes into violence, verbal violence, physical violence, etc. And there are strategies out there, you can search them. One of them I recently discovered is called gray rocking, which is interesting because it's a strategy that I've been talking about for many, many years when I flow dream with people and we do energy work together. And you know, partly what I do as an intuitive is I look into other people, including your neighborhood friendly narcissist. And one of the most effective strategies is simply to disappear. To lay out the energetic template blueprint of you're gone. They don't see you anymore. They look for you and they find an empty space. If you've ever had an ocular migraine, I have them. Little bits of your vision will just disappear. Little crescent moons or little zigzags will be like your eyes are open but you can't see. It's frightening the first time it happens. Then you realize, oh, it's just an ocular migraine. It's similar when you are going in there energetically with a narcissist and simply disappearing in their energy, in their mind. It's like they don't even know to look for you because they don't have any reference point for you anymore. You're utterly gone. Now the physical correlation of that gray rocking means that you become very, very boring. Really boring. You're not trying to get them back, you're not trying to punish them. You're simply not giving them any of the stimulation that they normally would get. Oh, you were out till three in the morning smelling like cigarettes and booze. I didn't say anything about it. I acted like it didn't happen. Meanwhile, I'm laying my plans to leave in two weeks. Oh, you, you got angry at me for going out with one of my friends. Okay, right, there's. There's this non giving and almost non participation where you are kind of just shooshing the energies, quieting them. And it has to be done with an intention of quieting, not inflaming. And you know the difference. But this is a way that the narcissist can start to feel like over time, you're very boring and you don't give me what I need. I'm not getting the validation from you. I'm not getting the overdoing yourself for me or the I'm not able to, you know, whitewash your doubts like I was before. Right. All the stuff they're used to doing, they can't do anymore. It starts to become frustrating. That's an option for you as well, and I trust you to use it correctly in your own scenario. Remember, guys, again, I'm not a therapist. I don't do trauma therapy as well. And if that's what you're looking for, I'm a spiritual counselor. I talk about energy. I talk about the way people interact and exchange emotionally, energetically, spirit to spirit, soul to Soul. So the last thing I want to share with you that can really help you on this road to healing. And like I said, this is all coming from my years of experience working with my own clients is iron. I want you to really own your place in the situation because you have also been getting something out of this or you wouldn't stay, you wouldn't just let yourself be pounded down, be gaslighted or gaslit. Constantly feeling self doubt, constantly giving them, you know, a way out. I'm thinking right now, you know, years ago, I remember having an employee once and they just were not showing up the way they needed to. They were saying they were working when they weren't working, they were billing for extra hours that I knew they were not actually doing. And they were saying to me, oh, I am, I am. Oh, it's definitely, I'm sure am. I'm doing all this great stuff. And I was there and. And you know, it exhausted me because I felt like it's not my job to try to catch you in fibs. It's not my job yet you keep asking me to do this. But eventually I realized, why don't I just let them go? We're clearly not a fit. If we were, they would love to be working, they would love the work that they're doing and I would love them. So I'm allowing a non fitting situation to continue where we're both miserable. What is my part in this? And I realized my part. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to replace them, that it was going to take more time. There was a whole list of things I didn't want to. I didn't want the confrontation. And once I examined that, I realized all these reasons for me letting this continue and letting myself suffer with these feelings every single day around this. I wasn't getting what I thought I was getting. It was a far worse deal than I realized. But at least I know or I discovered what was keeping me tied. My own fear of something. So I want you to ask yourself.

What are you getting out of this?

And are you able to admit that to yourself? Right? Maybe your narcissist has really given you a sense of direction or safety or purpose or belonging like you. You have to discover what led you in. Because whatever that is, that's yours now, that's yours to reclaim. Because they're probably not doing that for you anymore. But you can do that for you or someone else can help you and you can do it together. So your worth, your worthiness is really deeply at the heart of this, right? Once you get past concerns about physical safety, okay, let's say you get yourself in a physically safe situation that is always number one. The next step is how do I create emotional safety? And emotional safety means if I am feeling unemotionally safe, that's the thing that I'm going to work on right now. Unemotionally safe means I'm doubting myself. I think I did the wrong thing. I'm afraid they're mad at me. I'm afraid they're going to ruin me with my friends and family. I'm afraid they're going to ruin me with my co workers. All of these are ways of feeling unsafe. All of these are ways of keeping you in check. Threats, if you will. So your role, your number one role is to create emotional safety. And yes, you can practice it through your physical surroundings, through strengthening up, but it's also got to come from you, your words, your feelings. And of course, my favorite thing to do is to practice feelings of that. So this really is where flow dreaming comes in. When we flow dream when we do this practice, which I haven't really talked about much in a couple of episodes now, but it is an emotional, energetic practice where we go into certain feeling states in flow, and we feel them over and over and over. We are programming ourselves, we're programming the universe. It is a form of manifesting. It's also a form of reshaping who we are. So for instance, if you feel fear, okay, great, you felt fear. But imagine, then you feel fear again the next day and the next day and the next day. Imagine you're five years old and every day you're feeling fear. One day you were falling asleep in the dark and everything was fine. The next day you were suddenly scared of the dark. The next day, that fear of the dark got a little bit bigger. The next day there was even more fear of the dark. Then your parents came in and said, oh, you don't have to fear the dark. There's no boogeyman. You say, what boogeyman? There's boogeyman. Now you feel fear the dark even more. In other words, when you get into this habitual practice of feeling an emotion over and over again, it starts to grow. It becomes a big part of you. It's, you know, it's like a souffle or a big cake popping up in the pan and flopping over the top. A muffin gets bigger. Our job now is to recognize that you've had certain feelings in this relationship grow really big. And get really strong and really embedded. And maybe you have actually gotten to the point where you say no more and you've snip, snip left, but then what? And it doesn't matter. Maybe you, you even haven't left. You can start growing the strength wherever you are, but to do it, you have to actually practice the feelings you want to feel instead. So we would go into flow and we would use a flow dream, like strong healthy boundaries or confident or the ultimate self love and self trust playlist. And when you're moving into the space, what you're doing is you're emotionally programming yourself. You're programming the energy, the flow, your higher self. All that is, all of it is feeling from you. Intense feelings of, I'm a great, wonderful person, a partner, a boss, a co worker, a friend. Gosh, they are lucky to have me in their life. I am so worthy of affection, of appreciation. I'm worthy of the truth. And I'm the kind of person who can handle truth. I'm the kind of person who offers truth. I'm the kind of person who says, I'm doing this because it's good for you and it's good for me and we're here to grow together. And I'm the kind of person who is allowed, not even just allowed, permitted, allowed, expected to be in situations with other people where I can say, I am proud to be in this with you. I admire you and you admire me and you're proud of me. And that pride and that love, it extends all through us. The transparency and the clarity and the compassion for one another and the gentleness with one another. This is me. And when I'm feeling this, I am, I am at my best. Like, this is the best me you can get. Not the one that's self doubting and cowed and fearful. That's the worst me you can get. Why would I ever want to give the worst me to someone? Ah, I feel the best me. Okay, so what I just did there is as kind of modeling, you could call it self talk. But I have to talk because this is a podcast, right? You have to hear me, otherwise I just be closing my eyes and feeling these things. So I'm actually narrating my feeling states with you right now. When you practice these feelings day after day, imagine you're a five year old and every day you're feeling like that. I am popular, I'm good at school, my teachers love me. I feel bright and happy all day, every day. I know that I'm loved Every day you're practicing those feelings, you will change. Doesn't matter if you were unpopular and unloved and your teacher didn't like you when you started. You practice those feelings and one day you pop up and you're at school and everyone's looking at you and you're like, hi, do you want to play? And you're smiling and you're loving and you're open and you believe me, there are going to be kids around you who say, oh, my God, I want to be your friend. I feel so safe with you. You're making me feel seen. Oh, you are wonderful. And now you have friends. That's just a small, you know, metaphor, analogy for it. But it's the same idea. It's the same exact idea. You can and will grow into this person. And the road, I have to say, can be long, it can be short, it can go fast, it can go slow. It's really up to you. There is no one set model. But once you've reached that point where you feel like, okay, I've parsed a lot of the trauma and I want to go to that next place now, then I highly encourage you embark with flow dreaming and get into this process. Call me, reach out to me. Let me help you. Let me introduce you to others who've been through these situations. And we will help you become equally, wholly rounded in that inner strength, in that inner power, so that all aspects of your life are now firing at the same high and beautiful level. And, gosh, when that happens, ah, the sky's the limit. The sky is the limit. I mean, we're talking self love, but it's even beyond self love. You guys know I worked for Louise Hay for 10 years, right? The queen of self love. I heard self love day in and day out. This is self love, but it's next level because there's a wellspring of inner just knowingness in you. I will never be hurt again. I will never find myself in that situation again. If it even gets near to me, I will sniff it out and flick it away with my fingertip like an old fly on a windscreen because that's who I am. And I align to things that align to me. And I am the defining word there. I align. So it's me, that old nasty stuff. It can't align to me anymore because I'm not there. I'm not at that level. I'm not playing in that game. I left it. I left it a long time ago, and here's where I am now. So I'm going to leave you with that super empowering message. I hope it makes you feel really good and rich inside. And if this isn't you, I hope you listen to this on behalf of somebody that you love and care about. Somebody that you suspect may not be feeling the way they want to feel about themselves in. In some area of their life. And whether they. You call it a narcissist or just plain old abuse, you know, and I'm talking again, workplaces can be incredibly toxic, and abusive families can be toxic and abusive partners, friends, can. I even once worked with a woman once whose gardener was a toxic, abusive narcissist. And she said, I'm so embarrassed that we're spending a whole session talking about my garden. I can't. I'm so ashamed. And I said, please don't be. You're lucky that the person in your life, that the life and the universe sent you was just the gardener. Could have been way worse. But the gardener was enough for you to work through this and power up. Oh, my God, how thankful. Let's just take a moment to be thankful, right? And we change from there. So thank you. And for anybody who needs to hear this, share this with them again. There's a set of three of these now episodes that I just mentioned. I forgot what they are again. 738, 739, and I believe 7, 18. And I really, I want you to just go forward and remember that last thing. You're gonna leave this narcissistic situation. There's no way you're gonna stay in it to the bitter end, to your last breath. You won't. So the question is when and how long? That really sharpens the point of the pencil, doesn't it? And it means why not now? Why not now? All right, my darlings and my friends, have a beautiful holiday season. Lots of love to you all, and it's wonderful seeing some of you in again. The Stardust Society, which is the Flow Dreaming mastermind, the Rising Light leaders, if you're that level, will see you at our workshop this month. You bet. We're getting to celebrate the winter solstice. And we have some ritual to do. We have Flow Dreaming to do, we have journaling prompts to do. And we have some beautiful releasing and letting go. All the stuff this year that you don't want to carry forward into next year. Oh, yeah, we get to put that down. We get to throw those little scraps onto the fire and watch them go away. So very, very powerful work we do. Every single month. Reach out to me if you're curious what that is. Or go to flow dreaming.com. you are absolutely, completely invited. And again, if you want to talk about maybe your situation with me personally, I do work with people one on one. I love to. In fact, it's my very favorite thing. So reach out. All right. Take care. Love you all.

I love the opportunity to work with you one on one because this is where I see the most remarkable growth in my clients. When we work privately, it's more than coaching. It's mentorship, energy work and intuitive guidance. And what I offer, well, it kind of goes beyond coaching. Together we'll access insights and information you wouldn't typically have, leading to real transformation. We'll start with a life assessment. What you desire, where you've been and where you're going. Then we'll align your desires with the universe with a personalized Flow dream that you can use over and over. You start with an introductory private session or a deep dive. Or of course we can work together. Ongoing visit flow dreaming.com and search for private sessions. Or just reach out and email me. I can't wait to meet you.