BONUS: Confident Dating with Guest Kimmy Seltzer

In a room, we carry an energy with us. It's what everyone picks up on. It's how we're instantly perceived. Sometimes it's called charisma or presence, and especially when you're looking for a partner. As we'll discuss in today's interview, the way you shine or share your energy is incredibly important. My guest, Kimmy Seltzer is sharing a way that she helps people remodel this energy of theirs, their presence in the room. And unlike how we usually look at things here on Flow Dreaming, this time around, the remodel starts from the outside in. Join me as we look at dating, energy, confidence, and how it feels to be beautifully and confidently open and available to a loving partnership. In today's episode of Flow Dreaming still kind of woo woo.

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Hey, friends. Summer here we are going a little outside of our normal arena because today, not only are we talking about dating and love and partnerships and your energy and the way you're expressing or repelling all of the above, but we're doing it from a kind of external or outward vantage point. And that's because my guest, Kimmy Seltzer, while she coaches people all the time on how to find and form long lasting beautiful relationships, she's also very, very keen on getting us to look and feel the way that we want the world to also perceive us. That means how you look, how you present yourself, and I thought it would be kind of fun to take a look at it from that perspective. So a little bit about Kimmy before we dive in because I know you're going to have questions. She has a wonderful podcast called the Charisma Quotient and I hope you check it out. I have also been invited to share with her community there, so you might just discover my interview with her as well. Well, Kimmy's also a therapist. She's a dating strategist and a certified style coach. She works to help people find lasting love and connection, attract success, and build valuable relationships using what she calls a confidence makeover process. So I hope you'll enjoy this as we dive into what is that confidence makeover? How can I discover it or dive into it? Kimmy's here to tell us all about it and of course visit her at her own website@kimmieselzer.com that's K, I, M, M, Y and Seltzer. Just like the water. You can also find that, of course, in our show notes. So without further ado, here we go. Well, hello, Kimmy. Welcome to Flow Dreaming. Still kind of woo woo. How are you today.

I am good. I am excited to talk about woo.

Great. We're going to talk about love, romance and woo all piled up together.

Exactly. Well, there's a lot of woo in love and romance, but I'm very practical if there's such a thing of, like, practical woo. That's definitely me.

Yeah, well, that's me, too, so it works. All right, let's drop in with your kind of signature talk, what you base all of your coaching and teaching around when it comes to romance and dating and finding a partnership and love. You call it the charisma quotient, right? Your magic formula. Let's just lay that out so we can start with it.

Yeah. You know, it's interesting because the way that I have helped people have. There's been a lot of twists and turns, you know, along the way because, you know, my background is being a therapist, and then I got into doing more of the coaching and fusing it together. But also I'm an image consultant, so I kind of have this three prong approach and helping people look and feel their best so they attract what they want. And what is different is I used to work from the inside out, but now I work from the outside in, which kind of raises a lot of hair sometimes. And, like, people are like, wait a second, that sounds superficial. But when I really kind of explain it and also talk about my own story and how I shifted in the way that I help people, and also just kind of the formula that I use, it makes sense. And so, you know, the charisma quotient. First of all, it's the name of my podcast, and that is. I love the word charisma because it's just this magnetism that creates an energy that just draws people to you. And within that, there are three pillars. And I start from the outside, which is your style intelligence. That's like your wardrobe, your body language, your energy, your first impressions. And then I go inward and work on emotional intelligence, which is how we express ourselves, our vulnerabilities, how authentic we are, how we connect with people, but also it's like our self worth. Right. And how we value ourselves. And then the third pillar is your social intelligence, which is how we interact with the world. It's our interpersonal communication. It's our social comfort. I work with a lot of introverts who find some time socializing just really painful and exhausting, and they just want to, you know, kind of sit at home and recharge their battery instead of putting themselves out there. But a big part of What I teach is flirting. So flirting is definitely a big part of my business. And whether you're single or not, flirting is an energy again that creates a lot of opportunity. So that's, that's the form. And I don't know if you're going to ask about my background and my, my story, but really it kind of came from my story when I was like kind of this hot mess and my life transformed and I realized the importance of having this kind of approach where it looks at the outer and the inner when it comes to confidence. It's symbiotic in nature. It's not just the inside job, it's an outside job too.

Yeah, that's interesting because I always talk about the inside, the inside, the inside. So I am kind of curious. But when you start with someone's physical self, right. Their, their body, I'm assuming by outside. How, how, like, how do you work with that? Especially if you're coming, you know, to dating or finding a partner and you're not feeling very confident about how you look or your, the way your hair is or the wrinkles on your face or whatever it may be.

Yeah, well. And you know, I, I guess I'll throw myself under the bus to answer that and then we can kind of get into it because, you know, long time ago when I had this like life as a therapist and I worked on the inside out approach and, oh, that was my heavy focus and life was kind of going on as planned until, you know, I had a very traditional life at the time. I had a dog, a couple of kids, a picket fence, a husband. I still have the kids, by the way, but you see where the story is going. So ye, we all pick up and we move across the land. The, the land. And we land here in la, LA land, as I call it, Los Angeles. And it was like literally the minute we got here, that's when the record stopped. And my life as I knew it, completely shattered. Because we end up doing what all the other people here do. We get a divorce. I'm joking. I like to blame. But honestly, the truth is I would have been here anyway. Maybe it would have taken a little bit longer, but here I was, all alone in this kind of new environment with no support systems. And I was left to do what I was taught and I believe to be true. And that was working from the inside out. So I got therapy, I went to counseling, I did the work right. This is like what everybody says and I like help people with. But here's the kicker. This is what changed it all? And I think you'll get this. It's kind of embedded in your question. I'll come around to that. I haven't forgotten that. But it's important to understand my journey and how I got here, because I fell into this state of analysis, paralysis. You know, like, people would come to me and they would say, kimmy, like, how come you're not going out there and dating? Like, how come you're not putting yourself out there? And you know my answer? Oh, you know what? I'm just doing the work, right? Like, I would just say. And doing the work ended up being a crutch, because really, in essence, I was scared. I was scared to take action. And I feel like that's what. Sometimes when you're working on the inside for so long, it can become a rabbit hole, because at what point do you take action? And so, on top of it all, I looked like a hot mess. Like, I looked in the mirror, and I was like, oh, my God, what have I become? I was still wearing my nursing bras. I wasn't nursing any longer. I had disheveled hair, flip flops. And my wardrobe consisted of every, like, black. Black was, like, my color. You know, maybe a splash of beige. But so one day, I just had this, like, epiphany. I looked in the mirror and I said, oh, my God, what happened to me? And there's always that moment in your life where something just lights a fire under your butt. And I said, you know what? I got to do something, because nothing's working. And so I. I did something very untraditional, and that was, I go shopping. So I go shopping and shopping therapy, right? And I'm doing all the things that I always do. I'm. I'm collecting black clothes in my arms. But, like, in my mind, I'm. I'm like, oh, yeah. No, I'm shifting my energy because I'm getting new clothes, right? But no, I'm doing the same darn thing.

So the hidden black.

The hidden black. And I. Hidden black outfit. Honestly, I didn't even, like, realize it at the time. Right? Yeah. So I'm going shopping and going through the store, and this personal shopper, she comes up to me, and she's like, ma', am, I've been watching you, and I really think you should try this on. And she holds up a red dress. It looked, like, three sizes too small. And I said, that is really sweet of you, but that's not my size, and that's not my color. And here's the thing, like, I didn't even see my body. That's how in the fog I was, right? Like, I just lost myself. And she said, honey, that is your size. It is your color. Try it on. Boom. Just like that. Like, it's like she hit me over the head with that dress. And I call it my red dress moment. And this is what I help everybody with. Like, even, like, listening to this episode. I hope that you can start having that red dress moment. What is it? It's the time that you wake up. It's the time that you stop numbing out and really put yourself into action. So I grabbed the dress. I'm like, she's right. And I squeezed into it, and I twirled around like Cinderella. And bam, there I was. And there was this, like, visceral response I got in my body. I'm like, wow, I feel differently because I'm seeing myself differently. And that just doing the inside job isn't enough. I said, darn it, I'm going to buy this dress as a costume. And I called it a costume because I still didn't. I didn't believe that it was really me. And I took it upon myself to walk out into the world and wear it everywhere. And I kid you not, like, I worked to the coffee shops. I wore it to the grocery store. And here's the thing that really, I got, like, wow. Not only do I feel different as I'm moving through life, but I am noticing men notice me. And guess what? I didn't like it. Like, that was the kicker of it all. Like, this whole time, I've been wearing the black clothes as a cloak to keep me invisible for men. Why? Because I was scared of being seen. And so it wasn't enough to sit at home and think about things and manifest things, and love will come my way. Like, I had to get over something of myself. And it really was this limiting belief. And because I was scared. So I just had to get comfortable being seen. And I realized that my confidence just started growing. And obviously, there was many other stories after that. But that's when I realized the power of your presentation, that how you market yourself is directly correlated to how you. How you feel and the signals that you send out to the world. So when you ask, like, how do you help people get over that aspect? Because it does seem superficial. It's. It's starting small. Like, you know, like, for me, it was the red dress. Like, I've had other people where I just, like, just put on this red lipstick and just see what happens? And it's the small wins that build the confidence when you start seeing yourself differently and then others do too. And it's not changing who you are. I want everyone to really hear that. This, it's about marketing yourself so that someone gets to know who you are. And that's the difference because otherwise opportunities will pass you by. And this is what my whole TEDx talk was that I did last year. It really makes a difference of how you, like, advertise yourself.

Yeah, the whole be seen conversation for me is kind of huge. I often talk about it in a different context, such as, you're not going to get that raise unless you are seen. You have to let the world know you and see you. You're not going to move to the next level until you show up at that level. So, you know, we broadcast it energetically. I'm, I am worthy enough to be seen, but that's sort of, for me, the leap I'm taking in my head when I'm putting on a red dress. Okay. I'm letting the world really see and I'm practicing that energy, I'm practicing that feeling. And yeah, I mean, I just see. Be seen, like. Yes. Be seen by a partner, be seen by work. So obviously, like a lot of women that I work with, they do very well at work. They can be seen at work, they can handle projects. They, they feel like my value is seen and known here. But if you ask me to go out and, and date someone or find someone, oh, that's when it all kind of crumbles. Like, they, they like my, my work and my output, but just me, just plain me. Someone's going to like me. So you're suggesting you put on the dress and go shopping at the grocery store as a kind of way of letting people give you feedback that, you know, instead of just being trapped in your head about that feedback. Is that kind of what you mean?

Well, it is. And I work with so many, like, introverts and high achievers. And one of the things that happens when you start going out there is you get in your head a lot, right. And you start thinking too much about, you know, what other people think or what to say or the outcome. You know, like, what's the purpose? And to your point, like, when you're at work, there's a purpose, there's a passion, there's a script. But when that's stripped away from you, like, who are you separate from your identity at work or the script that you have as a parent or whatever that is. And that's the part that, to me, is so beautiful about the whole makeover process. Like, I can't tell you how many times people come to me and they said, like, you know, find me a man. Find me a woman. But in the end, they end up finding themselves. Like, I do these, you know, dating retreats, and I have actually one coming up. It's called Spark youk Sexy, just for women to help them with just being comfortable, flirting and having fun and paying attention to fashion. Like, things that really can help embrace who they are. Because it's like, it's a reinvention often, you know, of figuring out who you are. Because, again, this is not about the man. It's not about the woman. It's not about anybody else. It's about you. And when you look in the mirror and you say, I got it going on, I feel sexy. I love myself. That's when other people do, too. And, yes, that's why I love using just these, like, small actionables that can really move the needle and helping people with their confidence. I mean, it's overwhelming to hear, oh, just go out and date, or, oh, just be more confident when you go out in public. Like, what does that mean again? Literally. And I love that you do the. The manifestation part of it and the. The. It's like the mindset of it. Because that's huge. Because, like, to your point, like, you can't just put on a red dress, but then don't. And you don't have the right mindset around it. That's not gonna happen, you know, because if you put on the red dress and you go out there and say, there's no good men out there, well, guess what? You'll make yourself true. You know, you'll make that be your story. But if you say, you know what. What if I see the world differently and I walk out and just see and notice who's noticing me? What if I just practice making eye contact? What if. What if I just practice smiling, you know, and just starting those little. Little things that make a dent into that connection of others. And from there, you know, obviously, I help people with dating plans and. And putting themselves out there to really, like, connect.

This brings us to the conversation around vulnerability, I think, because when you are saying, look at me, I'm looking at you. That's something that a lot of us. I mean, we've been damaged. We feel like I've been damaged. I barely have all my pieces put back together now, and I'm asking you to look at me. And I'm going to look at you energetically and emotionally. That's a, that's a, A big jump for many of us to make because we're still used to being protective and. Or like you said, I remember after my kids finally stopped getting out of the snotting all over your clothes stage, and I realized all the clothes that I had been wearing for the last three, four or five years were baggy and able to be put in the washing machine at the end of every single day. And that was kind of how I saw myself. And I had to have multiple moment of, wait a minute, I'm actually still pretty young and still pretty fit and still pretty, you know, got it going on and. And it was like, oh, I need to go buy a whole bunch of new clothes now. But I wouldn't have known that because I was so much in the mom zone. But even if you're not in the mom zone, you're in the. My heart's been broken so many times that I've never had a great relationship, and yet I'm going out and saying, look at me. That, that, that energy, that shift, I think is crucial, but you have to be willing to. I don't know what is it, Be exposed or. I mean, flirting is a perfect capsule for that. Because when you flirt, you're not just looking, but you're kind of committing in a way. You're engaging, you're asking. It can be very scary. I mean, how do you teach it?

Yeah, it is scary. I mean, all these things you're talking about can feel really scary, especially if you haven't done it or it's been a while. And this is where the whole confidence thing comes in to the point of what you were saying. Like, you are more confident being a mom. So of course you're going to go back and put your energy into being a mom, because it's a known entity. You know, you know how to do that. But putting yourself out there and then put throwing on, like, some new clothes and being seen and start flirting. Like, maybe either you haven't done it in a while or maybe you never did it at all. Like, why would you do something that you don't really know? And that's why I define confidence as experience. That's it. Like, I keep it very simple. It's not that they're. There's one person out there who's not confident and flirting or all the stuff we're talking about. It's just that you either haven't a had positive exposure to it or B, never did it. So how do you get it? You do it. I know that I'm making it sound so simple, but that's why I like breaking it down and looking at all these things as skills. Like, no one was confident when you first started your job. Like, you went on your first day, and what did you do? You fake it till you make it, and then you practice and you go to work every single day. And now you can do it with your eyes closed. This stuff is no different. And so if it is scary thinking about flirting, it's first. You know, as a therapist, I always ask, well, what's scary about it? Right? Like, where. Where's that coming from? Where's the fears rooted? You know, Like, I worked with a client who had a mom who was very flirtatious, and so she shut it down and went totally the opposite because she was embarrassed by her mom, you know, and she's like, I'm not going to be like that. I'm not going to dumb down, you know, and I don't need no man. And like, there was this whole kind of scri. That she had, and it was really to help her understand that flirting is an energy, and it's not leading somebody on or, you know, doing something that that's bad. You know that. And it has nothing to do with dumbing down. Like, people think it's about dumbing down. But here's the kicker. You want to know, and I talk about this. Yes. How I teach it. I do these flirt workshops a lot. And one of the things I throw out there, as I say, like, what is your definition of flirting? And everyone has their different, you know, associations. But when you look in the dictionary, this is what's so fascinating. It means to behave as though you are attracted to someone without the serious intention of an outcome. Period. End of story. That last part is so awesome because that's usually why people don't flirt, because they're worried about what's next, and that's not what it's supposed to be. It's about worrying about what is. It's just a playful energy. Like how kids are in the playground just playing with each other and creating that magnetism. Like, at the last dating retreat, I made my ladies put on these cat ears and wear red lipstick and go out into the world. And I do these a lot with, you know, just any of the retreats that I have. I do these scavenger hunts where they have to go out and do silly things. And I remember this one woman, she was Very analytical, very spiritual, but very kind of like more of an introvert, you know, like, she just didn't, that all seems scary. She's like, kimmy, I don't think I can do this. I said, well, the fact that it scares you is good because no one changes in a state of comfort. You only change in a state of discomfort. So the fact that this is uncomfortable, it's awesome. That means an area that you should, you know, you need to shift. So I said, look, we're just playing a game. Everyone's doing it. And so with everyone went out in the world and everyone came back giggling like boys and girls. Like, this one was co ed, you know, I switch off and they, their energy and how fun. They just came back and laughing. And the woman who I was talking about, she's like, oh my gosh, Kimmy, I've never had so much fun in my life. And like just learning to let go. And it was so amazing to see the impact it had like with other people because no one really cared. Like, I've been so worried about what other people think. Like, actually people loved like that we had these cat ears on that we were playing. And so it really like clicked for her. Like, really, she became like a different person after just that experience. So when you ask how I teach it, it's like, it's just these little things. And you know, some of it might have to do with your style, some of it might have to do with the emotional intelligence and the way that you express yourself. And some of it might have to do with flirting. It's just practicing these things in repetition over and over again until you become more comfortable and then you move on to the next, next thing. I mean, that's how we build our confidence.

Yeah. Flirting, as you were speaking, gave me a feeling of, I'm giving you permission to get to know me. I'm signaling that I'm attracted to you. I think you're cool or awesome. You have my permission to get to know me. And as soon, I don't know what you said, but that's clicked in my head and I thought, well, that's kind of cool. That's, that's almost generosity right there. I can approach it like that. I'm giving you the generous opportunity to get to know me. And here's how I'm letting you know.

That'S exactly what it is. Well, I, I, it's like kids, you know, like if you watch kids who are like 4 or 5 years old, they, they haven't developed filters yet. To your point when you were talking about, we've all been hurt, you know, before, and what happens as adults every time we get hurt or we have bad experiences, you know, our guard goes up and the brick walls start stacking. And so then it gets hard to penetrate and then suddenly we have this love shield in front of us where that nobody can make a dent in.

Love shield. I love that I just saw this beautiful golden shimmering shield saying, stay away, right?

And so I tell the women, look, I said, you have to protect yourself on some level. I'm not asking you to take like, get rid of all your armor, but you could put the sword down and maybe like lift up the helmet and peek out and just see what it's about. And yeah, like, because, you know, when you watch kids going back to that, you know, if Johnny sees little Nancy on the playground, he doesn't say, oh, I shouldn't approach her, she looks really busy, blah, blah, getting hit. No, he just goes up. Hi, wanna play? What are you doing? Like, what happened to us? Like, why do we stop ourselves? And when you get in that state of curiosity and fun and playfulness and presence, that's the flirt. Because now you're creating opportunity or as you put it, the permission to say, hey, you can get to know me. My cab light is on and I'm ready to go.

Hey. Okay, so from the frying pan into the fire, we go from flirting to straight up sexiness. And this is not something I even really talk much about in flow dreaming, but it is an emotion. And so it kind of falls within the emotion of I feel sexy. I am sexy. A lot of, I think empaths and highly sensitive people, they're very cautious about letting anybody see that energy of theirs, that I will be hurt, I'll be taken advantage of, I'll end up in a narcissistic relationship. How do you kind of reinterpret that sexy feeling? To be safe and to be something again, that is something kind of outside you, that you're building from the outside.

Yeah. And obviously, like, as a therapist, I've dealt with this, this a lot, you know, especially like women who get in patterns where they have attracted a toxic relationships, whether it's narcissism or abuse or whatever it is. And it is scary. And the thing is, is sexy, that word again, it has different associations for different people. Like, I'll ask, how are you defining sexy? And some people are like sex, right? Like, they go right to that. Some people confuse femininity with sexual appeal. And so it first, really is getting clear on how are you defining sexy and are you associating that with a man and sex or is that something just within. You know, it's hard. Especially like, as you said, if you're like highly sensitive or empath. There's been a lot of women that I've worked with who become more sensitive because of the abuse that they've experienced early on. And so, yeah, like, the anxiety is high when it comes to this stuff. And so again, I never like to throw anybody into like a big pool of water and start swimming. Like, you have to just dip your toe in the shallow end and just get a feel for it and be comfortable. Like, I remember there was this woman who I worked with and, and like, had I not seen her in person, I don't think I ever would have known it. But, you know, I do a lot of in person stuff. Sometimes I'll work with people one on one and we'll go out in the field and I help them flirt and we go shopping and it's super fun and because that's what gets people out of their heads and into action. And she, I remember we were walking into this bar and she started talking to men and she said, kimmy, like, I've done a lot of work. Like, I'm good there. You know, I, I just want to meet men. Men never approach me. I don't know what's going on. And I saw exactly what was going on. Like, as she was approaching just the room and guys started talking to us, she kept backing up with her body. And it was her body language that she didn't even realize was so highly sensitive because she, she ruled everything intellectually, but she didn't realize the impact of that the body had, you know, in signaling to these men, hey, I'm open, I'm available, I'm comfortable. And that's what's sexy, by the way. That is what's sexy. When you're comfortable in your body, you're. You're comfortable in who you are. It's super attractive. You know, again, we're not talking about beauty, we're talking about sex appeal. Different. And again, like, everyone has their own associations. But what she told me, she's like, kimmy, I had no idea that I was doing that. And something I didn't tell you as I was sexually abused when I was young. And yeah, I get this like knee jerk reaction in my body and I had no idea that it was leaking as I was out there. I mean, 93% of communication is non Verbal. That's what's crazy. So, like, we concentrate so much on the dialogue and the conversation and the inner work, yet paying attention to the signals that you send in your body is huge. And to me, that's awesome because it's easier to. To hack that, in fact. So we just got her. It was like exposure therapy. I just had to get her comfortable being around men. That's it. Like, we just started with that. Like. Like, let's just stand a little closer when we're talking to men. Like, let's just start there. And then we moved up to, like, eye contact and. And being comfortable, like, talking close. Because, like, when you're on a date and there's this huge gap and distance between you and the man, the man doesn't feel the attraction. So it was exactly.

No permission.

No exact permission.

Exactly, yeah. Oh, that's just interesting. All right, so what would you give me? A little bit of advice to that person who is single, who is just about ready to step out and be seen again and to start possibly flirting and to start looking. And, you know, they're still coming off that either emptiness or rocky relationship, so they're not quite 100% on their confidence, but they're ready. Like, what's the first thing you say? Do this, do this. I mean, go buy a red dress, something like that. Paint your nails red? I don't know.

Well, first. First is doing a good sit down. I always do, like, a strategy session with everybody that I work with to really understand their journey. This is the therapist in me. Like, I just don't believe that there's a cookie cutter approach to this. Like, it's not one size fits all. Because what trips you up might trip might be totally something different that somebody else is working on. So I always look at the three pillars. The style, the emotional, social, intelligence, and going back in time and learning, you know, people's history and doing kind of, like a pattern recognition type of thing, because to me, it's all about patterns. That's why I call myself a strategist more than a coach or a therapist these days, because I just think we all fall into bad habits or just habits. And so if you want to change a pattern in your life, we first have to understand and uncover where it comes from. And then that will help us kind of develop goals and homework and all of that, helping you, like, move forward with the action pieces. So, again, it's different for everyone. But one of the first things I always have people do, and this is for everybody, is to create What I call a mission statement. You know, we do this in business, right? We sit down, what is the mission of the business, and what are we set out to do? And. And I can't tell you how powerful it is because, you know, I'll say, well, what is your mission in the. Just the next three months? And most people can't really tell me. Like, they need a lot of help. Like, a lot of people, again, they go to the. The woo or the. The find. I. I want a soulmate. I want a boyfriend. You know, they. They go to the end game, you know, And I said, well, that's great. Like, we'll get there, but there may be some things we need to do in order to get there. And so especially if you're a relationship person and you've never even just had a time to just date without getting attached, it's crucial that we start there. And I always bring people back in the playground. In fact, I tell people, while you're under my watch for the next three months, I don't even want you to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Like. Like, let's just practice your skills and build your confidence first so that you really get clarity in what it is that you're set out to do, what it is you want and what you need to practice. So, again, that looks different for everybody. I mean, it could be flirting for some people. Some people, it's the opposite. Some people are too much of a flirt, and then they don't have enough of the emotional intimacy or connection. So then we have to start more with, like, expression and emotional connection. So that's why, again, it's different for. For everybody. But the theme, as I think you're hearing, is starting small. I never throw these big tasks at people. Like, just go online and start flirting. Like, no. Like, if this is new for you and you're just getting started, let's start with building a profile and looking at your wardrobe. So I do these virtual makeover sessions, which are super fun, and I assess people's, you know, wardrobe and dating looks and see how they're marketing themselves. And I pick out outfits for them to maybe do a new photo shoot so that they feel empowered that they have great advertising. You know, a lot of it's just like doing an audit in the beginning and then seeing what is needed.

Yeah, that makes sense. Of course, one size does not fit all. Kimmy, where can people find out more about you if they want to take these next steps and you're getting everybody excited about. Well, maybe I actually can do this. Where should they go first?

Well, the first thing in getting started, like how I was saying the actionable piece that that people could do is just go and download my style guide. And that is a great action piece where you can learn about your body type and what clothes flatter you, what clothes to stay away from. For women, there are five body types. For men, I have a man's fashion manifesto so that men can also learn about their fashion needs. And you just go to Kimmy Seltzer.com forward slash style. That's Kimmy Seltzer.com Forward, forward slash style. You can download that. And Kimmy Seltzer.com is my website, so you can pretty much find everything there. You can also all my socials are at Kimmy Seltzer and I have a lot of workshops coming up, you know, around that. And then also the name of my podcast which you are on is called the Charisma Quotient. So check summer out over there as well.

Wonderful. Thank you so much, Kimmy. You got a lot of of stuff to think about here. I've been married for quite a long time, but I'm still fascinated. Like, yeah, you know, it is about the inside and the outside and action and pre action and so much that we already always talk about here in Flow Dreaming. So thank you so much. This has been wonderful seeing you and having you here.

Thank you so much for having me.

You're so welcome. Take care. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go out and buy myself some bright red clothes and shake my booty. I hope that today inspired you not just for, you know, being attractive to a potential partner, but being attractive inside yourself, showing the world via your skin and your clothes and your hair and your scent, everything about you. We are made of energy, but we're also made of very packed, dense physical energy. And that is this body that we present to others day in and day out. Kimmy has some really interesting ideas, I think, about confidence coming from the outside in as well as the inside out. And you, you know me, I'm a big believer in balance in all things. Again, if you want to reach out to Kimmy, just check my show notes. You can find her website there. Of course, the Charisma Quotient, her podcast. Now, before I leave all of you, I just wanted to put a little birdie in your ear mentioning that this podcast is in its 20th year. I know, 20 seasons. It's crazy and, and I forget too much too often to ask for you to just pop in to wherever you're listening and leave a short review. Even if it's just some stars, words are always even better. And it doesn't matter if you've reviewed this before, it may have been a long time. And reviews from 18 seasons ago, well, they don't really get seen now. So if you put some words up there in your Apple podcasts or on Spotify or wherever you're listening, I would be so deeply grateful to you. Every little bit helps. There's only so much I can do to get this show out into the world, but you can do a lot. Every single review advances the amount of exposure it gets. So my gratitude and thanks goes to you preemptively for gifting back that little bit of your time as you just scroll over and leave a few words. All right. With that, I hope to see some of you@flowdreaming.com and I hope to see even more of you in my monthly live workshops as the Flow Dreaming Mastermind, where we really go deep into energetic practices manifesting and just creating all the best things in our life. In fact, stay tuned and I'll tell you a little bit more about it right here. Maybe you remember one brilliant thing. My Summertime Manifesting Challenge. Well, I wanted a way to keep that energy going all year round. That's how I ended up creating the Flow Dreaming Mastermind. This is different than any any other program I've offered. For one thing, it is packed with teachings. Not only do you get immediate access to 36 courses and all the accompanying Flow Dreams and worksheets, but you and I will get to Flow Dream together each month. Live Each month I plan a special event, a Flow Dreaming session coinciding with the full moon or other potent day and we gather to create huge manifesting energy. Think of it like a series of special events and you're invited to every single one as a Flow Dream Mastermind member, a Flowy if you will. And best of all, it's affordable. Costs as much as taking a family of four to Applebee's each month. No kidding. You'll get to connect with like minded souls around the world for Flow Dreaming parties. Joyful Energy Cleansing Flow Dreaming. Some woo woo rituals that show a little of my witchy side and just a heck of a good time. Because the lighter and brighter you are, the lighter and brighter your life is. Check out the Flow Dreaming Mastermind at Flow Dreaming because our next special event and party is just around the corner.