Let Your Erotic Creature Dance with Sheila Kelley

Welcome to Mama Goddess. I'm your host, Alexandra J. Johnson. This podcast is all about rocking your goddess life, creating vibrant health and celebrating motherhood and family life. It's about living an authentically awesome life. Let's have. Today we have an amazing guest, Sheila Kelly. Sheila is a global feminine leader who's passionate about elevating a feminine culture in a male dominated, masculine dominated world. She is also beautiful and amazing and she's an author, a speaker, a philanthropist, and also the creator of S Factor. Welcome.

Hi, how are you?

I'm great. How are you?

I'm spectacular.

I am so thrilled to be chatting with you. I've taken S Factor and I've watched your TED and I just love what you're bringing to all of us women. Just this knowledge is so important.

Thank you. I'm so flattered. Thank you so much for that.

Yeah. So I'd love to start off with S Factor. For those of the people that don't know what S Factor is. What is S Factor? Why did you create it? Give us.

I'm looking for pictures I can show you because they're so visual. S Factor is, it's the language of the feminine body. It's indigenous feminine movement and otherwise known as sometimes called pole dancing. But it's really so much more than that. And it's been so great to, to have launched, to have single handedly launched the industry that is now known as sexy feminine fitness or pole dance fitness, Triptus fitness. Having launched that on Oprah in 2003, 10 years ago. It's been incredible watching the growth of it. But where my heart remains what I'm most committed to, the thing that's deeply changed my life, my relationship to my man, my parenting skills, my friend skills is the journey into the language of the sexuality of my body, is into awakening. What happens when you move your body in a certain way is that you awaken what I call your erotic creature. And every human being on the planet has an erotic creature. And usually it's one of 10 icons that I've created. And it is life altering in the most profound way because you start to delve into a part of yourself that you don't know so well. Maybe you know, I didn't know mine at all. And I found her by accident preparing for a film role where I was doing an improvisational film and I was the character who worked at a strip club. So I had to create the character from my own sexuality and quickly in like the first few days realized, the first few days of rehearsal, I had no idea who my sexuality was. I had no idea how to wear my sexuality in my body, how to move my sexuality through the day. It was a stunning, like a shocking revelation. And that is what set me on this deep journey into discovering the core and the essence and the personality of my sexuality and defining and creating these erotic creatures so that women could start to understand themselves and their own sexuality. And then use that sexual energy in your everyday life, use it as wholesome sexuality as opposed to what we do now is we segregate our sexuality. We go, oh sexuality, sexuality, it's just for sex with men or lover. No, sexuality is something that should be embodied. It should be in every cell of your body. It should be at every moment of your life. It just sets you on fire. When you are integrated that way and you carry all of your allodies together in your life, is that too long a description?

That was beautiful. And there's so many questions that popped up out of that. Okay, so I'm curious on this sexuality and sensuality. You're talking about the movement. How is the movement different than for most of us, how we move our bodies? And the typical fitness way of getting, you know, because we're in our bodies or we run. But what happens to a woman when she starts moving her hips and doing all of that? Give us kind of fire, baby.

Fire starts happening. What you like. Literally moving your hips is like striking a match on a friggin flintboard. It's like the fire starts, it's physiological. I'm a body fanatic. How your body is, is how you are. If your body is linear and pounding the pavement, then you are going to be linear and pounding the pavement. If your body is fluid and emotional and sexual and luscious and curvy and sensual and rounded, then you are going to be that you are your body. And so many times I talk about the life of the mind versus the life of the body. And we live in a culture that's very, very much about the life of the mind. Science, prove it. Facts, measurability. If I can measure it, then it has validity, it has value. If I can't measure it, I'm not sure it has value. And the life of the body is immeasurable. It's an experience, it's an emotion, it's a physicality, it's a deliciousness that you can't monetize in that way you can't say, well, you know, you're. Although the world of the masculine has tried to measure the female body with the 34, 23, 34. Measurement thing. It's immeasurable, though, because when you put any man that's obsessed with those measurements in front of almost any woman, no matter what size or shape or age, and she starts moving her bliss, her sensuality or sexual, they're riveted because the feminine is meant to light the world on fire. If she's lit on fire, she can light the world on fire. And everyone is seeking the light. Everyone is seeking the illumination. Everyone is seeking the awakening. And it lives within the feminine being to shed light, to give joy, to bring you right into the moment.

Beautiful. Amazing. I love that you all. I love that you are the body and that you can't measure that. And I think for so many of us women, we're hungry, as you know. We're hungry for that, right?

Starving.

And do men have that, too? Are men hungry for this in a different way? Like, how do men play into this?

Men are hungry for heterosexual men or men that are very masculine, whether they're gay or homosexual, I mean, gay or straight. They hunger for their masculine body and to cultivate what is masculine about them. And this is a culture that values everything that is masculine. We value the linear thought. We value measurability, we value linear movement. We value football. We value getting the ball in the hoop. We value getting the ball over the line. We value scoring and winning and all these things that are very. We value tall, sturdy buildings. We value less nature. We're cutting rainforests down, we're cutting trees down. We're kind of decimating Mother Earth. We don't value the feminine, which is nature, as much as we value the masculine. So in this culture that is so masculine, we have created all kinds of sports that we value. And we have asked men and boys to step into their masculine body 1000%. Get that ball over the line, score, win, hit. And in the same breath where people were telling my son to be more male, more male, they were telling my daughter, stop it. Don't do that, don't do that. Be less female, be less female, be male. The world told my daughter to be male, and they told my son to be male in her body. You know, play softball, play soccer, play football. It's not that those sports are only for men. They have masculine attributes of scoring, of going from A to B to C, of linear straight movement, of getting ahead. Whereas when she would be sensual or curvy or in the moment of pleasure, going back to pleasure, when she would be in pleasure in her body, it caused disturbance in the air. Of those around her. So those around her cut her down and said, don't do that. And they humiliated her. And they cut her off from her female body's natural skills, shall we call them, of round, curvy, playful movement. I mean, you can watch any little baby girl who has yet to be offended and her little butt will wiggle and her little hips will go. They're just sensual. They touch, they put the heels. They're sensual, beautiful, alive female creatures, we don't value that, we're frightened of that as a culture. So we cut it off and say, be male. That way you'll be able to protect yourself. And unfortunately, being born in a female body, you are born a warrior. If you're not a warrior, if you don't know how to protect yourself, then you may lose your body in one way or another. And so the feminine, the female creature needs to balance and cultivate both her masculine and feminine sides, as I believe everyone should. I believe every human being has the yin and the yang energy within them. And for me, finding my feminine energy fully and so demonstratively and so Deliciously in my 30s was a life changer, game changer, career changer, relationship changer. I'm like 24 years with this man that I'm crazy in love with. I'm like stupid. It's like we look at each other and we're just like, what is this? What's going on? Because I cultivate the S and the S is the feminine. I am cultivating, constantly cultivating my S every day. Like even sitting here talking to you. I'm cultivating my sensuality, I'm cultivating my curve of movement, I'm cultivating my emotion, cultivating these beautiful geniuses of the feminine. And it creates this beautiful sexual polarity between me and my man that you just can't. I'm sorry. I have watched relationships drop like flies over the last 24 years. And mine and mine and he and I only just get hotter and crazier and deeper. And it's. There is something to what I am doing that will create this long term, lustful, passionate, respectful, mutually respectful relationship. In the last 10 years, I have auditioned less and worked more than the previous 10 years because of S factor. It is because of cultivating my feminine in my body, turning my light on, turning my radiance on and living in pleasure of my bliss.

That's amazing. So the S essentially creates us, help us to create like a more deliciously on fire, turned on life.

So you said it, baby. The S to me is so much about finding pleasure, even if it's strenuous pleasure, even if it's emotional pleasure. It is for me. Pleasure is not just like hedonism. Pleasure is truth. Pleasure is living truthfully in my body and in my soul and in my spirit. And my soul and my spirit speak through my body. That's what I learned through S is that my soul speaks through my body. And she used to be. My soul used to be trapped up here in my head. And I was like, I'm tormenting myself. Oh, my God, I'm going crazy. I have just too many thoughts. And then I start dancing. My s. It's all going into my body and out into the world. And the world is responding. My man is responding. Casting directors is responding. Businesses are responding. Other women are responding to my energy. It's an immeasurable. It's immeasurable. But pleasure is immeasurable. And pleasure is truth to me. Amazing.

I love that the soul speaks through the body. And I think for so many of us, especially as women, and I know this is a constant dance for me of really getting into my body and letting go of my head because it feels like the head just is. Like it's always, as you said, like.

Just like thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking. Because we've shut the body down.

Yeah.

In the work I do in helping women find the language of their body, I also watch animals. A lot of people I love Cesare Milan, Doc Whisperer, because I call what esogic teachers and I do body whispering because we're just trying to bring the truth of the body out. What I say is, I don't say, here's this very strict technique of pole dancing that you have to learn how to fit your body into. I say to a woman who comes into the studio, show me your body and let me help you unlock her language, her lust, her passion, her pleasure, her beauty. And it is. There's without a doubt a very strong reaction women have to s Vajra. And it is life before and life after awakening. And it's true. We have been trapped in the way that we are out of balance in yin yang, where yang is so keeling our whole culture over. We got to get the yin up here. It's exactly the same. It's parallel to life of the mind and life of the body is killing. We need to balance them both out. We need to lift the life of the body. We got to get people dancing every single day. I dance when I speak. Every single thing we do is a dance inhaling and exhaling is the dance of breath. Talking and gazing is the dance of energy. Moving your body is the dance between you and the air. You in a song, you in music. I mean, even if you don't S. Just get your butt up, put on a song, and just dance. Forget the song. Just dance without. Just dance to birds twerping in the trees. Just move your body and I will guarantee you you can hunt me down. If this is not true, your mood will be elevated when you're done.

Absolutely.

Even if it's just 30 seconds, your mood will be elevated, because how your body is, is how you are. When your body's dancing, you're dancing.

So I'm curious on the just dancing, just in general, in S factor, it's very slow and sensual. What would be the difference? If somebody's, like, just shaking their booty, you know, can you talk? Why is S factor so slow? Like, what do we get out of the slow.

Well, what level did you stop at?

I was only there for level two, and then we moved.

Okay, so levels one, two, and three is about slowing you down so that you can think down into your body. It's about slowing your brain down, slowing your body down, slowing your breath down. It's about taking you out of the cool, crazy rat race of the mind and pulling you consciously into the body to slow you down once I've gotten you slowed down so that you're truly embodying your movement. Because sometimes if we move like this, it's totally unconscious. It's like it's flailing movement. When you move slowly, like I'm moving my hand right now, do you feel the difference of intention, of experience, of movement? It becomes sensual and slow, as opposed to flailing all around now as you mature, because S factor is a lifelong practice. When you start level one and level two, you're really. You're just kind of in the toddler stage of your erotic creature. So when you. It's a lifetime. And when you get to level six, which is the practice level, you have cultivated your EC up to a young adult, right? But she still needs to learn who she is, and that's when the faster movement can come back in. If your body asks for it, if you feel the need to, like, shake your booty really hard and really intensely, and it's connected and you're embodied, then shake that booty. It's fun. You know what I mean? But I think the beginning of S is just to allow women space to take up a lot of space, a lot of breath. A lot of curve. Even talking about it, I get very sensually turned into my S. That's what you want to do, slow down so that you can take up space. When we speed up and we flail our movement, it gets smaller and smaller sometimes, or just flails mindlessly. But that said, if you can't get to me, if you can't get to one of my events, which I'm doing like four events next year, then just dance. I don't even care. Just go dance. Just move. And you will get to me when you can get to me. Buy one of my DVDs, get one of my books. But for now, you gotta move your body. Let her express her joy.

That is so.

Let her express her pain. Let her express her anger. It's all in there.

Yeah, definitely. And I love that too, because the slowing down, as you were just talking about it, it's really slowing down to listen, as you were saying, listening to our body, right? And like, we're going so fast that we're not even listening at all. We have no idea what is happening. So I love that there's just a beautiful image of a woman going slow and saying, I'm here for you. I'm listening to you.

Yeah. Oh, it's so. And you know what? I would put an S factor, slow moving woman up against any booty, popping, shaking, twerking person any day. And I will guarantee you that this woman who is, in her slow, completely owned, completely conscious, embodied, sensual movement will blow you away more than anybody else because she's. Oh, my God. Watching the beauty of the feminine body in that kind of slow, delicious movement is so provocative and so hot and so powered. You just like, my jaw drops and I've been doing this 15 years. My jaw drops every day. I teach. I'm just like, how can you get that beautiful. And it's fun to twerk and pop and do this stuff and it's, you know, yay. But I do that, like in my kitchen when I really want to feel the power. The true, deep feminine power of pleasure in my body is nothing. Like S. Nothing.

So I'm curious on. Because, you know, this is. This is a movement practice and there's, you know, in the fitness industry. So can you talk about. Because I know a lot of women are very concerned about their body and a lot of us do running or we do strength training or we do different stuff so we have a better booty, etc. So tell us about this. Like, how does this impact our health and our fitness like doing this slow, sensual S factor dancing.

Well, the S movement is geared toward the integrity of the feminine body skeletal structure, a muscular structure. Our hips are wider, they're lighter. The muscles lay across our bodies differently. So much of us is. So much of who we are as living creatures is just a different than the masculine creature. And the movement is long and slow and sensual. So as you are moving and you are lengthening the muscle, you are also strengthening the muscle. So the muscle that you get with S factor is very long and lean, like a. More like a ballerina than like a weight trainer. You don't get the thick, tight muscle. You get nice guns from doing the pole work, you get the most amazing ass lift ever from the get up and the get down. Because you get up off the floor, you take like a minute and a half, and your quads are shaking, your butt is shaking, your muscles are shaking, and you are so sexy and so hot all at the same time. I mean, where else in the world do you get to be, like, incredibly, the sexiest sex goddess on the planet and get the most amazing ass lift and leg strengthening? So every single part of the body, every single part of the body, from the top of the head to the tips of the toes is worked, used, lengthened, strengthened, and toned during the S workout. Now, I do a masculine workout once a week, or not once a week, but like five times a week as well. I do S about five times a week, and I do running five times a week. I like to balance my Yin with my Yang. I like to get that kind of aggressive, masculine energy of mine. I have a lot of masculine energy, and I like to get it out of my body as well. So they both give me something different.

I love that you said that too, because I wouldn't have guessed that you would do the running too. So I love that you said that There is that balance of every woman finding her own dance, right?

That's exactly right. Her own recipe. Her recipe for her yin Yang balance. You know, the yin and the Yang with that beautiful circle is some women's Yang is a little bigger than other women's. Some women's yin is a little bigger than others. You know, what is yours? What's your balance? Maybe you're like, you know, you need to do yin workouts or feminine workouts two times a week and masculine seven times a week. I don't know. For me, I like an even balance. 5 and 5 is good. Nice.

I like that. Okay, so on the erotic creature you said earlier, and I know you Talked about this in your TED Talk too. The erotic creature. So tell us, what is the erotic creature? How do we tap into our erotic creature?

Your erotic creature, whether you be male or female, is. If you're female, it is erotic. You can exchange the word erotic for feminine and creature for body. It is the wisdom and the brilliance of your feminine body. We, as sexually mature adults, men and women, are sexual creatures. We're erotic creatures. You know, we have breasts, we have waist that indents, we have hips that are going out, we have asses that go round, and we've got legs that are curvy and they've got straight, beautiful carved bodies. Sometimes they've got genital equipment that's very masculine. Everything about our bodies are so beautifully complementary. So the erotic creature is the part of you, especially with women, because of the lack of value for the feminine movement early, or the fear of feminine movement early, we tend to shut it down on everybody. So when you awaken it, it's kind of shocking because you may have spent your whole life shut down and not being curvy and round and sensual and provocative and overt because of the society we live in. So when you awaken it, you awaken within this part of you, this dormant part of you, a side that I believe all of you has. Your entire body, your entire being is an emotional creature as well. So when you shut down some of your sexuality, you shut down the emot connected to that sexuality, whatever that emotion is. And when you awaken it, you awaken that emotion as well as that blatant sexuality and through the journey and the practice. And you really don't begin to really know who your erotic creature is until about six months to a year into class, where you start to notice that you're attracted to certain kinds of music or certain kinds of footwear or of certain kinds, certain kinds of clothing or certain kinds of movement. You know, there's some women who like to, like, throw their hair around and accent strong. Do you see that thing up there on the screen? There we go. There are some women who like the really long, slow, calming, gentle movements. Those are the women I would call blissful pleasers. The girls who like to throw their hair around and booty shake with fierceness. I call the dangerous challenger or a naughty provocateur. The women who love to swing on the pole with glee. I call them the joyful playmates. And there's 10 of these icons. And they have very unique descriptions of what the body of that icon craves in a man and who the Perfect fit for you is in a man, in an erotic creature man. And how that erotic creature moves most gracefully through her life. Because once you have those tools and unlock her and awaken her, it's almost like. It's almost like Dorothy landing in Oz. Everything becomes Technicolor and Munchkins start singing and magic starts to happen in your life because you become whole in a way that maybe you never were before. So the erotic creature is your erotic body.

And what scares us about that? Because even as you're talking about it, I'm like, oh, my gosh, what is my erotic creature? And there's like, I can feel the fear of what that would look like. So what stops us from really diving into our erotic creature and our sexuality? And sexuality.

Exactly what you just said. You can feel the fear in your body. Tell me where you feel it.

Yeah, I can feel it in my throat. I can feel it in my chest. I can just feel. Feel every part. There isn't the sensual, like, opening.

It's a very, like, tightening and shutting down.

What would I look like? Oh, my gosh. Like, what am I gonna find out about myself?

It's exciting, though. But here's the thing. What you're experiencing is the reason I think a lot of women have fear. And it's because at some point somewhere in your life, as I said in my TEDx talk, at some point, every single woman on the planet has had a body offense. Shutting down the natural feminine body. And when that body shuts down, it shuts down a piece of you, piece of you, piece of your soul, piece of your emotions. And you. Depending on how old you are, when you are shut down depends on the reaction you might have. But you must have, you know, you could have probably been like, a young girl. And so the thought and opening it back up means that you're going to do something that someone told you not to do. So you're going to be disobedient, you're going to be naughty. You might have the naughty provocateur in you is what I'm kind of sensing. When the muscles start to shut down like that, you know that you've really triggered a truth. Because the muscles. What they do is a muscle will contract like this. And if you have chronic contraction where it doesn't release, then you're holding the flow of your life in that space right here on you. Until you can open that and release that, the whole flow of your being is going to be kind of stifled and funneled through whatever little openings in this Part of your body you have. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. Yeah.

It's massive. And you know, for me, an S factor woman is a warrior woman. She's a wild woman. She's a. She's a woman who will not be tamed any longer. She's a woman who will say, this is my life, this is my body. This is my one shot, and I'm gonna do it 100% and I'm not gonna live 75% anymore in my body. I'm gonna go 100%. And that takes courage. So it takes a real courageous, strong, powerful, kick ass, badass woman to come full journey and go, I'm doing this and I'm going to do this, and I'm going to help other women do this.

Amen.

Amen.

So what do we do? Because I know that there's. And I know that I'm not alone in this. Talking with other women is that even when you do and you open up to it and you start exploring it and then that you get attention, right? So then people start noticing you.

You will get attention.

So how do you navigate that? I mean, because I know for me, I've always felt, and maybe this is just my issue, I felt uncomfortable and there was a part of me that wanted to dim that light down. And I know that I'm not alone. So what do we do? How do we keep that light shining and being comfortable in our sensuality, in everyday life?

There are so many techniques. You know, I teach a bunch of workshops and events throughout the year, and I would so recommend, I would recommend you encouraging your listeners or your watchers to come to one of these events. I encourage you to come. It'll change your life. Because I take the philosophy and I verbalize it, and I give you a lot of tools to navigate this extremely masculine world while maintaining your radiance, your power, your beauty, and yourself 100%. So there's a thing I call the five layers of a sexy life. The five layers of the sexy life are flatline. And usually people are unhealthfully flatlined because of offenses or restrictions or laws. Whatever it is that makes you unhealthily flatlined, you've stopped developing your sexy life there. Then there's presentational. And that's literally what does the outside of my body look like? How do I present my body and the voice of my body in the world visually? And that's where a lot of women get stuck there. They stop right there. Okay, because why? Because we live in a masculine culture. And what is the Masculine's most powerful quality, their sense, their most powerful sense is vision. So women get rewarded for looking good, but then they stop there and developing. The third layer is animated. That's the voice of the visual, that's the movement, that's dancing, it's shaking your booty, it's twerking, it's s, it's hula, it's just being comfortable in moving your overt body around. Some women stop there and this can be either a very tense and forced version of moving or S factor. Slow, sensual, organic movement. Then there's this bridge. And this is where most people don't know how to cross this bridge. This is the emotionally sexy life where you start to feel all the emotion in your curves, all the emotion in your sexuality, all this badassness. What I am just a friggin rainbow of emotional yumminess. And some women get stuck there and sometimes that can cause for a very chaotic life. Someone like Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, you see them living out their emotional sexy life because they're like here, they're there. It's when emotion takes you and kind of throws you around a little bit in its teeth. And then you get to the soulfully sexy life. And that is when you identify who your core emotion is. What emotion am I inside? What emotion is the essence of my sexuality? And you own it. And you have the emotion. The emotion doesn't have you. And that is the richest, deepest way of living life. Now what I teach women once they get to these later stages is you can go back to flatline because this is a strong, powerful tool and you need to learn how to use a healthful flatline. This is a healthful flatline for me. Boom. Button it all the way up. You can see my little shirt. Look, I got a healthful flatline on, right? I can take it up over my head and go back this way. Watch. I can helpfully flatline. I'm walking somewhere, I don't want anyone to bother me. I'm healthfully flatlined. I want to put a baseball cap on. There are lots of ways to healthfully flatline so that you feel safe, so that you're. It's a point where your body just doesn't want to be seen right now. It doesn't want to communicate at the moment. It wants to keep it for itself. So those are tools that I give women in the Sheila Kelly Live events that I'm having next year, the retreat that I'm having in January. There's so many amazing tools to living the Richest, deepest, most fulfilling feminine life that I wish I could give in just one telestummit. But I can't. There's too many.

They could come see me and it takes work, right? You can't. It's like the practice.

It's a practice. I call it the three Cs. Constantly consciously cultivating your feminine geniuses. We didn't even get to that yet. Through the five layers of sexy, of a sexy life. That's what I do. That's my practice. That's what I do. That's what creates this nirvana, this kind of state of ecstasy that I get to live in every day. Because I cultivate that, because I see that my body had an experience of awakening to her brilliance. And I never, not ever, do I ever want to go back to the other way of living, which was more black and white, sepia tones, dingy, dusty. In my head, trapped up there, constantly questioning, constantly doubting, constantly castrating my man, constantly challenging my man, constantly. And not just living for my own bliss, hoping someone else would give me bliss, but now Svat gives me the tools to have my own bliss and gives you the tools to have your own bliss. And then we can see and feed off of each other's radiance and beauty.

Do you think that, as you were just saying that with your man too. Do you think that women and men are different? Like, men are cooler or it's better for them to be in their heads? Like, do they have a different experience than we do?

I think men have a very different. I mean, if you've read either of Louann Brizendine's books, the male brain, the female brain, you will see that the hormonal differences and the neurological differences, even though neurologically we're 99.9% the same in the brain, the way that our brain cells function, the way the hormones interact in our brains, are so different. The difference between the way that information travels between the left and the right hemisphere, completely different in a more masculine brain than in a more feminine brain. Women's corpus callosum is wider, it's thicker, it's like a superhighway of information going back and forth between both of our spheres, the more creative kind of non measurable sphere and the more literal linear sphere for the masculine. It's not that he's more trapped in his brain, it's that he's. The linear left side of the brain is very, very. It likes to measure things, it likes to prove things, it likes to make things finite. And the right side which is the creative side is the side that is more about infinity and immeasurable experience and emotion and color and art. And it's not that men aren't. They are back and forth, but they're back and forth. More specific, more clearly. Not more clearly, but maybe more clearly. They do one thing incredibly, incredibly well. They're focused on that one thing and then they change the focus. It's going to take me a minute, it's going to take me a minute. I change my focus. Whereas you and I are like this. It's a different experience. But I believe the masculine should be in his body as much as I believe the feminine should be in her body. And I believe the masculine should be as much in the life of the body as life of the mind. I think they should be equaled out. I don't say life of the mind is a bad thing. I just think it shouldn't be like that. It needs to be like that. So then we live in like harmony, just like the masculine feminine paradigm has to change. We can't survive overly yang and overly life of the mind. I don't think we will.

No, I mean, I mean we will because we have people like, you.

Know what I'm saying is if we don't have people like me and you, if we don't continue to. I can't shut up about it because I feel like I'm just so. I just want to help. I just want to help so much because I see, I can see, I can see women's greatness. Every friggin woman I meet, I go, do you have any idea how great you are? Let me just, let me just help you a little bit. Just because I've been there and I've been down and I've been way down and I found my way up to this space of truth and kind of a state of an ecstatic state of living within the moment in my body.

So I'm curious, with the everyday bliss, everyday ecstasy, could you kind of maybe walk us through a day, either your day or just an S factor Goddess day, of how she could have touchstones throughout her day to stay connected to that?

Oh yeah, absolutely. Well, at the Sheila Kelly Live event last weekend, I was giving women tools that you can constantly. You have to retrain yourself. That's the number one thing you have to retrain yourself from. Not depending 100% here, let this be 50% and then the other 50% thinking down. I call it brain immersion. And it's a tool that helps you think down into Your body. So just when you were asking that question, you caught me in a stretch. I'll give you the example of three different tools in brain immersion. There's eight total. So the first tool is breath. There you go. Now you're thinking about your breath, right? And so when you're thinking about your breath and you're breathing and you're feeling your body breathing, you're like actually moving into the breath, right? I'm moving into my breath and arching. I don't have time to think about my to do list because I'm thinking down into my body. So I'm not thinking about all this other crap. I don't have the demons to deal with because I'm down in my body enjoying being alive in my body. I mean, what a thought. What a novel thought. Oh, my God, let's enjoy being alive in our body. That's number one. Number two is what I call stretch and flex. And you just saw me doing that, which is like I just literally all day long, if I find myself thinking, I will go into a stretch and a flex. So I'll stretch my arm and I'll stretch my back or I'll stretch my neck and I'll flex my toes or I'll flex my finger. Now you're doing it, right. So every. I could be waiting in line in the grocery store and flexing my toes or flexing my hips or rocking my hips from side to side. And then I'm thinking down there. I'm thinking into my body. No time for all this crap, this intellectual torture. The next thing I would. The next tool. Let's see, which next tool shall I give you? I'm going to give you a simple tool because they get more complicated and you need to train on the simpler tools before you can get to the more complex tools. So, for example, sensuality is the third tool I'll give you. So sensuality. At any given moment, I like to put tea tree oil on my hand right here every morning. So when I cultivate and I go, I need a sensual cue. And I will put my hand here and I will breathe in the tea tree oil and then I'll do maybe a head massage with my hands so that I just let sensuality kind of take my body for a moment. Or I'll just let my hands stroke down my thighs. I might be sitting in a car pool waiting for Ruby to get out of school. And I'll just massage down my thighs and let sensuality. So I'm down in my body, I'm thinking About the touch and how lightly or how strongly do I like to squeeze my thighs or do I like to tickle them really lightly? How does it feel on my fingers? So I'm down here in my body enjoying being alive in my body. So those are three tools that you can take away. And all kinds of sensuality, by the way, sound, taste, smell. And focusing down on the central experience is part of brain immersion.

It's so beautiful too, because as I was moving and doing, you know, just what you were saying, I could feel my sensual energy. I could feel like that turning on and watching you do it. It's like hot. I mean even just like massaging your head like that feels good for you, but I'm like, that's really hot.

Yeah, right. Well, because you are cultivating one of the five feminine geniuses. And the feminine is a genius in sensuality. All of our senses are incredibly heightened. We have hundreds of thousands of nerve endings all over the skin, all over our body that they're dormant unless you wiggle around and stretch them and rub them into things like kitty cats. And if you could watch a cat, you can be inspired by any animal. But just watch a cat walking and that cat is completely embodied. That cat is living through its body and moving so beautifully, deliberately, slowly, sensually. It's crazy what you can learn from animals because animals live the life of the body almost completely.

That's so amazing. Yeah, yeah. And just the beauty of it. And I think it's so great too that you gave us an example. Because I know for myself and even for other women that I've talked to and worked with, there's this idea of what sensuality is and you're trying to like put it on. It's something that you put on and it's external rather than, you know, just massage your head and your man's going to be turned on.

That's it, baby, that's it. You just said it. Just take a whiff of broccoli on the stove. I'm cooking dinner, I'm cooking broccoli. Just smell it, but fully smell it. Don't just smell through your nose, you want to smell through your whole body like a Kit Kat. Just watch a cat smell. Just watch a friggin cat smell. A cat smells and its whole body moves and then responds. Oh my God, they're so delicious. Even dogs, even some dogs, their whole body lives their life. And for us as we get older, from the time we're babies, as babies we live our full body and then slowly we take Everybody out of our body into school, into life of the mind. You have phys ed maybe half an hour a day, maybe one hour a day. That's it. Everything is life of the mind. Look how uneven that is. Yeah, let's look at that. Let's say you have, I don't know, 18 waking hours in the day and you're a kid, Ruby's age, my daughter, 13. And you're going to school and you have like three hours of homework.

Right.

She's in school eight hours a day. She has one hour of physical education. So that's 8, 9, 10, 11. Then she sits and watches TV. If I let her 12, 13. Right. She moves one hour out of those 18 hours. So that's how unbalanced the life of the mind to the life of the body is. That's how, that's what we cultivate in this culture. We got. Yes. Wow. Yeah, it's awakening. It's an eye opening statistic.

Well, it's amazing too. As you're saying, I'm feeling into it. It's like if you get 30 minutes or 60 minutes to move your body, you're like one of the lucky ones. Versus like you said, 50, 50. Be in your mind, be in your body. Like we used to walk and move all the time.

Yes, we did. Yes, we did. We lived through our bodies. Now nobody lives through their body. I mean, no one but Eslin. I mean, that's what S is about. S is teaching women to awaken and live through the body. Oh, speaking of, Give my little inspiration. Can see you.

The cat. Oh, yeah. Meow. Wait, is it dog?

It's a dog. I'm like, wait, it's a dog. He's like, let me out, I want to eat. Yeah. It's about embracing the genius of the feminine body and living through the feminine body.

So tell me about the feminine body, body image, natural beauty. Like that's, that's such a hot topic for us women, you know, really feeling beautiful and really loving our bodies. What are your thoughts on that? What do we do about really loving ourselves?

You come take class. Really, the only answer I have for you because I've been doing this for 15 years and even when I am out of class for a week or two, even I start getting that thing that you get out in the world which is don't move like that. Don't move like that. Don't move like that. Lock your body down. Even I have to fight that constantly so that the fact that I go to class and do S five times Like, I'll do my S five times a week. Keeps me so completely connected to, first of all, just being completely in awe of the body in which I live. And then on top of that is the pleasure of movement and self touch and sensuality. And it all kind of wraps together for this package of really. I don't even know the words for it other than it's like, you ever see a baby who's laying down and speaking utterly fascinated with her hands and her feet and her toes and just everything is new. That's what I feel like every day with S. It just brings everything new because it turns my. My senses get turned on, really heightened, my emotion gets turned on, really heightened my movement, my nerve endings, everything gets turned. Just turned on. And so for those that can't get to class, find a way to get a DVD or come visit me somehow.

Or.

Kind of think of a way to combat out there without the tools. But do the brain immersion tools. Do them. Write down the three Cs, put it in lipstick on your bathroom mirror, put it in your car, put it everywhere, so everywhere you look it says three Cs. And that will cue you to do one of those three things I gave you. Because this external presentational, sexy life thing, this second layer we get stuck in, is so superficial the. That it doesn't last. It doesn't last. What truly lasts is soulful sexuality, presentational. We're all ages, we're all going to not be 23. And if that's how you're going to define your beauty, then you are destined down a road of no return. You're destined down a sad road. But if you can leave that behind and cultivate your soulful sexuality by falling deeply in love with this experience of being in the feminine body, you will be beautiful forever and deeply. So.

Letting go of all the culture ideas of what that is and like just your. Who you are just radiating, yeah, there's.

A lot to combat because the culture is so powerful. The culture is so powerful. And God bless them, the feminine creature, by nature is a receiver. We receive, we take in, we nurture, we birth out, but we also receive in. It's a beautiful cycle, right? But the masculine is just out, man, he out. And so he builds this culture. And no matter how hard I've been doing this 15 years, it's tough because I get it, I get it. I get farther and farther, farther and farther. And then the boulder rolls back down a little bit and I gotta push it back up. And it's not just me it's all of us who are doing this kind of work. We have to keep coalescing and we have to keep our voices very clear and. And be the example of what we're speaking of.

Yeah, And I love, too, with the anyone that goes to an S factor class. And I know I was taken aback and just, like, breathless by the beauty of every single woman in the class, no matter what size she was. You know, you can leave all the culture BS out there and it's like, this is what you should look like. And you're like, that woman is hot. She's maybe not going to be on a cover of a magazine, but damn, she's got it going on.

Damn. I say that S vetric class levels the playing field like nothing else. I had. And I'm not going to say names. I had a supermodel in class, supermodel that everybody on the planet knows. And then I had a librarian who was shy and mousy and all cuddle like this. But I got them both into the upper body circles, and one was just as beautiful as the other. Just as beautiful as the other. They were like mirror beauty. And it just left. I mean, come on, a supermodel. I mean, these women walked in and looked at her and went, oh, fudge. I mean, they were like, damn, why am I in this class? Because they started to compare themselves to someone they'd seen on magazine covers for years and when, in fact, it was one of the most empowering things ever. Because eight weeks later, after level one, they were all feeling and knowing that they were just as beautiful as she was and just as sensual and just as delicious. So it's a journey. And for me, I often speak of the campfires. You know, that we live in the masculine culture. If you thought of the masculine culture as a big roiling campfire, and we. It was a culture created by the masculine. Do you need to go out? I'm going to let this dog out. Right, the male dog. Okay. So if you think about this culture as being the flame of this culture is. Is everything that is valued by the masculine. And surrounding this culture, concentric circle by concentric circle, are all the men, all the masculine energy, all the men who have used their brawn, their strength, their wit, whatever it is, to get into the center of that flaming circle and they're feeding off of the big pieces of meat and they're laughing. And there's some women who have found their way in there by mini manning up. And there's some women who found their way in there by being with the strong men who got in in there, right? And then on the outskirts of this roiling campfire are the women who subsist on the scraps of cultural meat that are thrown backwards. And they're desperate to be seen by the masculine because maybe they'll get closer to the center of the fire. And we live like scavengers. We make ourselves these victims of presentational beauty because we think it's going to give us, get us closer to the fire, closer to the center. More men will look at us, more men. And the more men look at us, they'll bring us closer to the fire because we don't have the many. I can masculine, I can get masculine, but I'll never be as masculine as the least masculine man I know. I'll never be able to get myself in there. I don't have the same sex skills and tools. And the truth of the matter is, about half an hour away, through the dark and scary woods, there's another campfire burning. And it's the light and the passion and the campfire that values all that is feminine. And there's very few people around that campfire. I'm over there. You come over there. Oprah goes back and forth. So you really mini manned up and found her way in, man. She's in there. She's way up towards the front of the flame in the masculine campfire. She has found value there. But women are terrified. They don't know, like what you said. You got all nervous. You felt all the tension in your throat and your chest. They're scared to take that walk through the scary woods to the feminine campfire. But once you do, and once we get that flame burning really, really brightly, and we get women to believe in themselves, that campfire will burn as brightly as the masculine. They will burn next to each other, and we'll dance all back and forth together easily. But right now, it's so far away. It's so small, and it's so scary. But once we can really believe in it and we can get them both burning together, the reason why the feminine values are not valued, that the feminine qualities are not valued in this culture is because we have let them. We have let them go because we have let the feminine campfire disappear. We women, we have let ourselves be divided. We have let ourselves not remain connected. That's huge. Because once we bring all of us together and we are all surrounding the feminine campfire, girl, that baby will burn so bright, it'll be a great day. I hope to live to see that.

And I love the visual too, because you at the campfire and somebody might look at you as, you know, a mother, a business owner, a wife and successful, running a successful business that you aren't. That you have more masculine or that you're over here in this masculine campfire, but really you're over here like, you know, and making a difference. So I think it's such a beautiful, a beautiful demonstration of you really being in tune with your feminine and also making ridiculous amount of change and transformation on the planet.

I hope so. I hope so.

Beautiful. Awesome. Well, thank you. Please share where people can find out about you and come to your workshops.

I would love you to. You can follow me on Twitter heshielakelly. I guess it's heshielekelli. And go online and check out the retreats. Check out Sheila Kelly live. We're gonna probably go to the east coast in March and come to class or come to one of my events and you will have a life changing, world rocking experience.

Beautiful. Any other last comments on pleasure? Anything to leave us with? You've already said so many amazing things.

So many things. Here's one last thing. Whenever in doubt, whenever in doubt, you're gonna laugh now. I'm gonna make your laugh. Whenever in doubt, throw a kegel. That's a kegel. Let it take you. There's your flex and stretch right there. Flex that muscle.

That is awesome. Beautiful.

Right now. I can tell.

Yeah, I'm doing it. I'm doing all your little practices. I totally. And I notice the difference, like just in this interview, just doing little things, you know. I totally notice the difference.

You're dancing in your body, babe.

Yeah.

You're dancing from one muscle to another. Talent dance.

Yeah. Down to the kegels, up to the scalp.

There you go. Oh, my God.

Yay.

I hope to see you, sweetie.

Thank you so much. We hope you enjoyed this episode of Mama Goddess. Sending you lots of love and blessings. If you'd like to connect more, go to mamagoddess.com until next time. Keep rocking it and have an awesome day.