LIVE Optimal Parenting 101 Q&A Call with Brian and Alexandra Johnson

Welcome to Mama Goddess. I'm your host, Alexandra J. Johnson. This podcast is all about rocking your goddess life, creating vibrant health and celebrating motherhood and family life. It's about living an authentically awesome life. Let's have.

Hello everyone and welcome to Optimal Parenting 101. I'm here with Brian Johnson and I am Alexandra J. Johnson, and very excited about this Q and A. Just to see if you guys have any questions about the conference, what any of the experts said, questions about our journey so far. And babe, do you want to say hello?

Hello. I am thrilled to be here. This is been amazing to watch Alexander go through and interview all these extraordinary teachers. And we're happy to see what we can do to wrap it up with some fun Q and A and sharing some other big ideas that we've learned since we actually recorded those interviews.

Very cool. Exciting. So there's a few things that I want to share and then we'll dive into questions and see what you have for questions one. One, we've had a couple questions, so I'm just going to share on a few of the things that I mentioned in my interview with Casey, kind of the introduction for optimal parenting. And one of them was on vaccinations and we chose not to vaccinate our little son, Emerson. And we have an amazing pediatrician, Jay Gordon. His website is Dr. J A Y Gordon, and he has some information on vaccinations and then he also gives great information on if you do choose to do vaccinations, which ones he would recommend. And one of the big things that I've got on vaccinations is that don't do it all at once if you can spread them out over a period of time. So he goes into a lot of information on that and it's really helpful. If you've already had your baby and you had vaccinations, don't worry, babies are resilient and it's going to be perfectly fine. Just if you aren't, this is something I would recommend to look into. Dave, do you have anything that you want to say on that?

No. Perfectly said. I think it's a very obviously personal decision and it's one we felt really comfortable with, Dr. J's perspective. And again, it's just such a highly personal decision. But his website offers some great resources, so I think he said it perfectly.

Perfect. Okay. And then the other question is on my breastfeeding challenges that I shared in the introduction and Emerson having a little bit of tongue tie. So a lot of people were or some people were wondering what that is. And essentially underneath your tongue you have a frenulum. And his frenulum was a little bit tight, so it wasn't causing his tongue to be able to come out and milk, get as much milk as he could. So Kitty France, who we went to see, the lactation consultant who's been doing it for 50 years and it was amazing. She diagnosed it right away as just having a little bit of a slight tongue tie. So she essentially went in with throw away clippers or little scissors on her dining room table. And just underneath it just clicked a little bit. And there was barely any blood. And only reason that he was crying was because we had to hold his arms down. But he was completely fine afterwards. And it was such a low key procedure. So I know a lot of people think that the procedure is a big deal and it isn't a big deal. And if you're having issues with breastfeeding, look at this as an alternative for something that could be going on for your breastfeeding. Do you have any thoughts on that, babe?

No. Again, you said it wonderfully and I think that you had the intuition that that was what was going on. And we had seen so many different people in the ent and it was certain that there wasn't anything going on. And then when we saw Kitty, she was, it was a small one, it wasn't a major one, but when she did the procedure, which as you said was so straightforward, he was nursing almost immediately afterwards and that cleansed it all up and all that good stuff. But then it made a huge difference in his feeding and your experience of the process. And you might want to talk some more too about the challenges that you faced and kind of the. In some ways how. It's funny that that was the hardest part of the whole process for you. So I think that'd be helpful. Just talk about that, some of the tips you learned because I'm sure you're not alone. And in facing the challenges with the breastfeeding.

Yeah, totally. And oh my gosh, I just had a thought and I forgot it. Mommy brain. We will get to sleep in a second. In a few minutes. Oh, this is what I was going.

To say.

On Kitty. One of the big things that I got from her too, because I was saying as we were talking to her that I just felt like intuitively everything that I was finding online and it just felt like that's what was going on. Everybody was telling me, no, no, no, we totally fine, there's nothing wrong. It's just going to get better, but I just felt like it wasn't going to get better. And what she said, which I love and I think it's a great reminder for all of us moms is the moms always trust the mom's intuition. So really connecting. And I know Stephen Cowan talked about this in the first interview about trusting your intuition and trusting yourself. So really trusting yourself in this process. There's going to be experts and pediatricians telling you and if you have a strong intuition about your child and you are the closest person to that child, you are day to day with this child, you carry this child, so you know this child the best and you have the best relationship. So just always trust your intuition. Just wanted to say that. And then also, as Brian was saying, the challenges. So with just we were having some issues at the beginning and I ended up, which I don't think I said in the introduction, so I want to talk about it here, is that I had mastitis probably, I don't know, I think maybe two weeks in. Is that right, babe? Maybe I think maybe two weeks that I was had mastitis and had 103.5 fever and all of these things. And we ended up just doing some herbs and rest and deep massage. What mastitis is is essentially a blocked duct that gets infected. And a lot of times you take antibiotics. And we chose not to take antibiotics to go the natural route and just massage it out and put heat in compresses and do a lot of that. So one thing that I would say for new breastfeeding mothers that I would have done is if I would have known that I was going to have challenging. Even if I didn't think that I was going to have challenges with breastfeeding, I would have massaged my breasts every day with an oil. So almond oil, sesame oil, whatever it is that you want to use and just massage your boobs and just to get things flowing. So you don't have any blocked ducks. I had to learn the hard way with having a very large blocked duck that we had. It was so painful. It was not the best experience ever. And as Brian said, breastfeeding was the most challenging thing for me. And I actually didn't even think it was going to be that big of a deal. I was like preparing for the birth. I'm like, breastfeeding is going to be easy. Not a big deal. But it was definitely by far a three month journey for me. And that's not the case for everyone. A lot of women. And we'll have two to three weeks of pretty intense nipple pain or block ducts or something like that. So if you guys have questions on that, we can talk more about that. But, babe, do you have anything you want to add on that?

Yeah, that's good. I realized I was on mute when you were asking whether it was two weeks or not. And I said, you know What? It was 10 to 15 days, I think, but it was all a blur.

That's really. Yeah, I'm like, I have no. I know it was early, but I have no idea when it was. And we had great support from our amazing midwife, Mary. Mary Jackson, who did an interview with her as well. And she was a saint in supporting me in that. And she would come over and massage it for me, because you can only massage yourself so deep. So, yeah, it was. Wow. I do not wish that on anyone to take care of a newborn and then have 103 fever. Not my idea of the best time ever. So there's some other things I want to talk about, and we have some other questions that we've gotten, but I just want to check in to see if anyone does have any questions before we move on. So if you have any questions for Brian or for I or for any of the experts or just anything that you want to ask, press 1 and we will.

See if you see your hand go up.

I'm not seeing any questions, so press 1 if you have any.

There we go.

So let's hear from. I think, Jill, you put your hand up first. Jill, you're on.

Oh, hi. So nice to go through this Parenting 101 with you online. It's really been. It's been great. So I have a question about cleansing, and mine on heavy metal detoxification. Did you go through any of that before getting pregnant? Do you know anybody who had any high levels of mercury or lead before getting pregnant that went through some kind of cleansing? If so, what kind did they do and how long?

We had done some cleanses. We didn't do a mercury cleanse, but, I mean, we'd done cleanses that would cleanse you of mercury, but it wasn't like a specific focal point for us.

So. So what?

I don't know of anybody that's done that, but what comes to mind are two Doctors. One is Dr. Mark Hyman. Have you heard of him?

Yes.

Okay. So I know he talks a lot about mercury and things like that and has, I believe, some cleanses on that. And then Dr. Younger's clean cleanse, which we had done the clean cleanse a Couple times we had done. I did a juice fast before I got pregnant. And also we had gone to Hippocrates for our honeymoon, which was a three week, kind of major detox for three weeks. That would be a lot of that mercury. But that's not like my area of expertise. You're doing one right now?

Well, I had a situation with lead poisoning in an apartment I was living in. And with the paint they were renovating, I came up with really high levels of. Of lead, which I found out after I got my amalgam fillings taken out. I did a heavy metals test for mercury, but then the lead was really off the chart. And so it's kind of a long process, but I'm kind of like thinking, when is this going to be done? And also whether my eggs have been damaged. I'm not really sure it's a good idea for me to have children. It's something I want to do, but I want to make sure that I'm doing the right thing by going ahead with that eventually. So I guess I need to do more research on that myself.

Yeah, the only other person that I would recommend. Just because you were saying the mercury. I just listened to this interview and I don't know, I don't recommend him. I don't know that much about him, but it just popped in my head. His name is Hal Huggins. H A L H U G G I N S and he has a couple books and he's a dentist or practice. Practicing dentist. And he talks a lot about that with the mercury and he's like the mercury guy. So he might have some information on how to get that out of your body and whatever, because he talks about health as well. So maybe check in with him too.

Okay.

Yeah.

I had my amalgams taken out with the Huggins protocol, so that's cool. Just one little last question is that I love Ojai and I'm wondering if you're having a good experience there, number one. And if you think it's a good long term place for living, for raising children and just being. I've had opportunities to move there and I just love it, but I've never done it. You know, it's always kind of in the back of my mind of a place. Is this a temporary stop for you? You don't have to answer that, really, if it's too personal.

But that's awesome. Okay. So Ojai, for those of you that don't know Ojai, we live in Ojai, which is like an Hour and a half northwest of LA, probably 45 minutes away from Santa Barbara South. What are we? Southeast? Is that right? I don't know. So we love Ojai, and one of the reasons that we came here was because we were going to start our family. So we got pregnant here and just felt like this is a great place to start our family. So we plan to be here until we don't. We love it. I think it's a great place for a family and the weather, just everything about it. It's a very sweet town, and I feel very, very grateful to live here. And, yes, I would recommend it.

Okay, well, thank you so much. Thanks.

Okay, awesome. Thanks for your question.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

Thank you, Jill. Let's go to Teresa. Teresa, you're on.

Hey, can you guys hear me?

Yes.

Hi, Theresa. Hi.

I just wanted to first and foremost say thank you guys so much for all of the classes. I was introduced to you guys through Jacob. Did some life coaching with him, and I've been hooked ever since. So absolutely love all this work that.

You guys are doing.

It's definitely paying off. And I want to first say thank you, but then get to my question. Really curious about not pregnant. Thinking about trying to get pregnant next year, kind of late December, beginning of January time frame.

And I was curious what you guys.

Did together to prepare for this journey, because I know I didn't get to listen to all the interviews, but Alexandra talked a lot about how she prepared her body and her mind and her nutrition and all those different things. But I was really curious about how Brian, like, what he did along the way, because I'm trying to bring my husband into this right now, and I. I think he's supportive, obviously, but he's not as kind of gung ho about.

This type of stuff.

So I was just curious what you guys did together as you planned.

Cool. Babe, do you want to share just on how you prepared first and then we can talk a little bit about togetherness?

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that first thank you for your thank yous. Appreciate it. And it's cool because this is actually the timeline in which we mapped out when we wanted to officially start trying to get pregnant was about this long before the end of the year, and it was a little bit longer, but we kind of been thinking about it for a while, and we kind of gave ourselves six to nine months. And for me, remembering back, it was part of my health and optimal health on that front and kind of the continued cleansing and detox and all that. That goodness. But it Was kind of an energetic, like, just dialing my life up a bit and just getting really clear on what my fundamentals were, what's important to me and kind of the core of my work and really just being as integrity as I can be on that front. And then also, I think just our relationship, just knowing that each of us being really healthy individually and then really being there in our relationship as powerfully as we could be, is kind of the environment that we want to bring our baby into. So those are some of the things on a high level. Alexander, maybe you can help me think about other things that I did that I'm not recalling right now.

I think, Theresa, if, you know, any of you said you followed Brian's work and stuff, that he talked about fundamentals a lot. And what are your basic practices every day that help you stay plugged into source to God, make you feel vibrantly alive, Whatever it is, whether that's meditation, nutrition, whatever, whatever makes you feel happy and connected. So for us, that was our commitment to each other. I think I talked about it, maybe I didn't. In our vows, our wedding vows, we have a commitment to optimal health and to growing and to evolving and growing together and supporting each other. A lot of our work was just making sure that we were each plugged in individually. How could I help Brian support him in staying plugged in, and how can he support me staying plugged in? In my opinion, that's like the biggest, biggest thing for parents is you need to have two really healthy individuals that no matter the parenting advice, how your child comes in, whatever, if you have two healthy individuals that love this child and are committed to each other and have a safe, healthy, nourishing environment, that is the biggest preparation. So for us, a lot of it was just getting clear on how we stay plugged in. We need to be on and really being in integrity with who we wanted to be, because that is, you know, we're going to be demonstrating for our child. So it was just a call for us to really step up our lives in many ways. So we didn't do a lot of togetherness, did we, babe? I mean, like, it's kind of what.

We always do, too.

Yeah, we talk about it. I mean, I guess it's like every day.

We'Re a bit, as you. I'm sure you've noticed, through kind of, this is just what we do. But it was kind of a conscious commitment to, let's go even deeper now we have something bigger than ourselves that we're committing to, and that was really important for me. And it's been one of the most powerful things through this whole process for me is just to have our little Emerson and just who do I want to be for him? And imagining him thinking the thoughts that I'm thinking and doing the things that I'm doing. Is that how I want him to show up in the world? And just reflecting on that, even as we prepared, was amazingly inspiring for me. And then committing to Alexandra, she said, in supporting her however I could, was really, really empowering for me as well. So those are some of the thoughts. And then it's, of course, meeting your husband, where he's at, and I think keeping it fun and inspiring. I think parenting and this whole process can get really, really heavy. And one of our commitments is to keep it as light as we can and as graceful and easeful as we can and really enjoy the process. So that's been another intention that we've had.

Is that helpful, Theresa? Do you have any other questions on that?

It's very helpful. I like that you said separate but together.

Yeah. That's one of the big things we thought a lot about is just the importance, as Alexander said, about the individuals and each of us being as healthy as we can be, and then our relationship being healthy. And then you add the third variable, but it goes in that order. I think a lot of people get confused, and they spend all their time thinking about their baby, which is obviously extraordinarily important. But if the baby is not in an environment where the couple is really healthy and thriving and where each individual is really thriving, then it just becomes a really potentially chaotic and stressful dynamic. So we always come back to, what can I do right now to optimize how I'm showing up and how can I support Alexandra or our partner in showing up optimally? And then with that, we're in a really good place to provide the level of love and support we want to our child and hopefully in the future, our children. Does that make sense?

Yes.

That was awesome.

And there's one other thing that I want to say on this is that, for the most part, Teresa, it is a bigger project for you. You are the one that's going to be pregnant. You are literally the primary caretaker. At the beginning, it. For me, it was a way bigger project than Brian. Like, Brian didn't. I mean, I was doing meditations. I was carrying this child. So it was like my dominant kind of creative project, if you will. And not to say that dads aren't involved, but I think it does make more sense for the mother to just do a lot more work, a lot more research, a lot more like being more into it, I just think is a natural thing as well. Would you agree, babe?

Yes. Well, completely. That obviously hasn't stopped. And I think for me, my role is to support, is to again, be as strong of a man as I can be and as present as I can be, which is going to allow me to be loving and supportive and really provide the space for Alexander to flourish and to enter at the time a year ago, to enter this new phase in our lives. And that's what a lot of my friends who I went to and talked to told me in the first X months and arguably year plus. It's really. The dynamic is between the baby and mom that's just really, really most intimate dynamic. And of course, dads are playing a role, but our primary role at that point is to support mom. And that's been something I've really embraced is again, obviously, I'm present with Emerson, but really doing everything I can to support Alexandra. And that's been a big part of how I've approached things. And then you to your point, Alexander, you've been so engaged.

One thought I had just.

It's a bit of a tangent, but to talk about some of the resources that you found. We have some questions, but we'll come back to that, actually, in a moment. So just to check in, Theresa, is that helpful?

Yes, thank you.

Well, thanks for your great question and good luck.

Yeah.

Let'S take. I'm not sure how to pronounce your first name. Is it Chris Hica.

Yeah, that's right.

How are you? Great.

How are you?

I'm good. I must say, you guys are doing a wonderful job out there.

Thank you.

Can you hear me?

Yeah, we can hear you perfectly.

All right, I've got one question. I'm not too sure if you can answer it, but here goes it.

Can you give me a bit the.

Information on gene sequencing for discovering phenotypes?

I don't. Babe, you got that?

The short answer is no. Unfortunately, we can't.

Basically, characteristics like height, hair, skin color.

For the baby or places I can.

Go to to get more information.

I don't know. It wasn't an area that we spent any time on. And our approach has been those variables that are many ways, if not most ways, from the theory of conception out of our control. We committed to what can we do to create the environment in which those genes can optimally be expressed. So kind of the epigenetic concept of those genes are going to be expressed in either healthier or unhealthy way. And what can we do day in and day out to affect those in the most positive way? But we didn't go into that level of detail. That's just not a passion of ours. So I don't think you have a resource that you can recommend, can you, Alexandra?

No, I do not. Sorry.

Okay. Thank you.

What? Sorry we couldn't be more helpful.

That's fine. What would be a good age to get pregnant? Like, what would be, like, an optimum wage for a woman to get pregnant?

I think. I mean, I think before. Around, like, the latest would be kind of 40, I would think before 35, probably. And then anytime before that. I don't think that there's an idea. I don't think there's an ideal time. I think whenever you feel like you are ready to bring a child, that is the perfect time. Whether you're 20 or you're 35, that is the time that your child will be coming.

Okay. All right.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Sorry we couldn't help.

No worries.

It's really interesting, too, because it's kind of the biological. Then there's the psychological. And perhaps from a biological perspective, younger would be better. And I certainly, from our perspective, I'm 38. Alexandra is almost 34. Happy birthday tomorrow, darling.

Yeah.

Woo.

But there's this interesting relationship between the youth of the body and the youth of the psychology. Then the maturity of the body and hopefully the maturing of the wisdom and kind of finding that ideal spot, as Alexander says, of when we feel most ready and most aligned to bring in that special being or multiple children, if that's the case.

Yeah, I think it's a different experience, whatever age you are. I mean, if I would have, you know, we would have had a baby when I was 20, it would have been a totally different experience than it is now.34. So I just felt like this is. This is perfect for me at having him at 33. Just I felt ready. I didn't feel ready until we decided that, oh, yeah, let's start in January. I'm like, definitely yes. There was a definite yes. So whenever that yes is for you, just trust that.

Well, we should say, too, I was a yes for quite a while. So dad was ready. And the joke was, let's try tonight's night. We try. Mom was really clear that she wasn't quite ready yet. And then we talked about and had some great conversations, and we kind of said, let's give ourselves another six months to really dial things in and optimize. And that was almost exactly this time, not last year, two years ago, that we were having that conversation and we gave ourselves until the end of the year and then we were going to start trying in January and that's basically what we did. But it was pretty fun because we were kind of on very similar but slightly different tempos. I would have been ready whenever Alexandra was and she was clear that she wanted a little bit more time and then it was just ready. It was right for you at that point, right?

Yeah, totally. I mean, because I think there was a feeling of, yeah, we're going to have kids sometime. But to be honest, like, I wasn't really baby aware. I mean, I thought kids were cute, but it just wasn't really in my consciousness. And then all of a sudden it shifted and I started noticing babies and I noticed that they were, you know, oh, there's a baby, they're cute. Like, there was an energy that shifted and I just felt, felt, okay, I'm ready. So we jumped in and here we are.

That's great.

So is there any other questions? Does anybody out there have any questions? If you do, press 1. Were you going to say something, Dave?

Well, I was just going to say we can talk about. One thing that came to my mind was websites that you found because you've spent so much time online learning. What's that one website you go to often that people might find really useful?

Well, I don't have a lot of websites. Oh, yeah, Kelly. Mom. I was online tons for my breastfeeding issue, but before that I wasn't really big into websites. I focused more on books than that. But Kellymom K-E L L Y momm.com was really a great resource for me. And then also the interview with Jack Newman. I don't know if you got a chance to listen to that, but I highly recommend him in the interview. And also he has a website which I don't know what that one is. Jack Newman. I can find that and then share it. But he has a lot of videos and he has some great books as well. I just love Jack Newman. He is a pioneer and he is so opinionated and fantastic and he's got great energy. So his website is Breastfeeding, Inc. I think that's right. Let me just make sure that's right. Yeah. BreastfeedingInc. Ca.

So.

Breastfeedinginc. Ca.

Yeah. Yep. See, I didn't really have any other websites that I really. I Know there's probably some great websites. I just, for whatever reason, wasn't really into the online stuff as much as I was with the books.

Well, it looks like Karen raised her hand. Karen, you're now on.

Hey, thank you. Hi, Alexandra.

Hi, Brian.

Hi, Karen. Hi. This has been a great series. I've really enjoyed it. Thank you so much, Alexandra. And you're doing a great job.

Aw, thank you.

I have this kind of sweet thing I've been wondering as I've been thinking about Emerson. Is he three months now?

Is that right?

He's six months. Six and a half today actually.

All right. I was just wondering like what your daily life is like with this little guy, beautiful little guy, you know, like how it's changed and just like. So I get an idea. I don't think I'll ever have children. And. And I know Brian was walking him every day and stuff. I was just wondering if you could kind of just paint a picture of what it's like for you guys or whatever you want to share about that.

Yeah, perfect. So, great question. And you just asked how it kind of changed too. So I think I shared this in the introduction that I felt as prepared as I could be with all of these interviews and the books I read and just felt like I'm ready to see step into motherhood. And at the same time, you cannot prepare for the shift that happens overnight. Like all of a sudden you just have this little magical being that you are on call 24 7. And I don't think that you really get that until you're in it. So that was definitely a big change. I mean I at the beginning just said it was kind of a magical whirlwind, that it was so incredible and so amazing and also so intense and just wow. So that, and then our day to day, I mean, it's pretty simple. Right now we're kind of. We wake up between like 7 6:45 and 7:30 ish. Now we're up for a little bit and we play and he plays with.

His dad.

And then he goes down for a nap. And he wasn't a big long napper until like a couple days ago. So this is, this is where we are currently. He will take anywhere from between an hour and two hour nap, which is heaven. He used to take maybe 35 to maybe 45 hours. I was lucky. So that has changed. So he does that and then we kind of wake up and then we play or we run errands or go for a walk. We go hiking a lot and Brian carries him. Then he is down for another nap. He is kind of up every hour and a half to two hours, three hours, the max, and he goes down for a nap again. So it's very. It's kind of like play, nap, eat, walk. Yeah. Poop, pee. Dave, do you have any thoughts on it?

No. I was kind of laughing when I was thinking, well, what didn't change? Then I realized actually something didn't change. But it's certainly a. Just an amazing, radical shift to have him in our lives. Yeah, that's kind of the basic overview. And then I think the energetic big shift is just creating and cultivating more flexibility. When we were without Emerson or before Emerson, we just had all the time in the world to do whatever we wanted. And we can do this and do that, and we can count on the fact that when we started something, it was going to be up to us whether we decided to change our attention or not. And now that's just radically different. So really having a clear sense of priorities and kind of clarifying what's really important to us in our lives and coming back to that again and again and again, and then navigating that challenge of being engaged with Emerson and with our family and with our creative work. And it's been a really cool, dynamic process. It's helped us, I think, get really more clear on what's most important to us, et cetera. So that's been another powerful thing for me.

Yeah, I think that's great. Bain that you were talking about. Oh, my gosh. I'm happy. I totally forgot what I was going to say. What was I going to say something on that?

Well, this leads us to the. That was the daytime. Then there's the nighttime.

Oh, my gosh. But it was something really good. It was something really, really powerful and inspiring.

There it goes.

Okay. Yeah, it will come back to me. What were you just talking about? Try to help me now. I really want to know what it was, what you were talking about.

You were talking about what you change.

Oh, okay. I got it. I got it. Thanks. So for me, there was definitely Brian and I, we run our own company, and we had a lot of flexibility. And I used to kind of joke, like, I get to do whatever I want whenever I want. Just kind of an absolute freedom before I had Emerson. And for me, the biggest change was which Karen May Zen Miller, the Zen priest in the interview series, who I love, was talking about in the interview, was saying that she realized she had constructed her life to only have things that she wanted to do and that she liked. And when she had a baby, she realized, oh, my gosh, the whole foundation of the house just kind of shattered and she had to rebuild it. For me, that was one of the biggest challenges, I think, because I had such freedom. And I think any mother has this experience that you realize, wow, it's not all about me anymore, and my needs are important, but I have to take care of this child's needs, and I can't just do this and just kind of balancing the needs of your baby and the needs for yourself. And that was definitely. I wasn't ready for that one, and I didn't. Really wasn't prepared for it. I didn't think it was going to be that big of a deal, to be honest. But it was definitely one of my more challenging ones to integrate, so I wanted to share that, too. Does that answer your question, Karen?

Yeah, that was great. And I had another question that popped up, and it was like, what's the sweetest moments you guys anticipate or enjoy during the day? What are the things? Like, is it the smile on Emerson's face or when he giggles or is it giving his bath? What is it that you look forward to and enjoy so much each day?

What a great question, babe. Do you want to go first?

I echo that. That's just a beautiful question. What came to my mind immediately is whenever he sees me, if he'll be kind of playing and I'll be kind of cruising around just watching him. And then this morning, he kind of. He was doing his thing and he kind of turned around. I don't know if you can sense that I was there. I was probably 20ft away or 15ft away.

But he turns around and he sees me.

He just has this huge grin. Just like this instant when he sees me smile, I get tears in my eyes right now. That's definitely incredibly sweet and something that I look forward to every time that it's about ready to happen.

Yeah. And that's one of my favorite things, too, seeing how much he. I mean, Brian's been such an amazing. He is such an amazing father and so, so connected to him from birth. And he caught him at the birth and just very connected. And it's so sweet to see how much he loves his dad. He just loves his dad. It's so sweet. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, I love that. And definitely the smiling. He's now, early on in the first couple months, there's not a lot of smiles, and they're just like this little kind of Bundle of love and kind of almost fetus, like, still. And it's been really amazing just to see kind of his personality come out and him smiling and giggling and, like, recognizing us. Like, that was such a great feeling when you would walk in the room and he would, like, look towards you and you're like, oh, he recognizes me. So that's super sweet. And another thing that I love is we sleep with him. So he sleeps in next to me. And I love, like, just staring at him sleeping. Like, it's so. He's so sweet and just precious. It's definitely one of the moments where I kind of joke that I don't know if any of you saw the movie Elizabethtown, but in the movie, she essentially has this pretend camera. So any moment that she wanted to, like, remember that it wanted to remember and kind of log in her memory, she would kind of pretend like she was taking a picture, like a snapshot. So I always have that, like, these moments where I just. They're so amazing and they're so sweet, and I just want to snapshot it forever and just, like, etch it in my memory because it's so precious. And his hands are so tiny, and he's not going to be this little baby forever. So it's just. I have a lot of those moments a day where just really, I appreciate it and just kind of do little snapshots of. I want to hold on to that forever. Those are some of the things. And also, he loves our dog, Zoe. It's both of our favorite things. I think he loves Zoe. I mean, he giggles, he laughs. He loves to touch her. It is the cutest thing. And Zoe loves him. They're building quite a little relationship with each.

Other.

You know, I have one more question. If there aren't any hands.

Yeah, go for it.

If you hand up, we've got time. Go for it.

Okay.

My other question is, like, you know, I have a lot of kitties. I love my kitties. They're my little guys, you know, I love them so much. And it just amazes me to see love being expressed through them. You know, when they come looking for me or jump in my lap or curl up in my lap and purr and look for me. And I was just wondering about watching the expressions of love as they develop and come through Emerson. He talked about when he recognizes you and that smile of happiness comes through him. So I was wondering if there were any other noticings of love emerging through this beautiful little being. Does that make sense? My question?

Yeah, totally. I mean, it's like when he just. Little sweet things, like when we're sleeping, he just kind of like snuggles up next to me very. It's like super sweet. I mean, there are moments where he wants to eat and he's pulling my hair and pulling my shirt and clawing my face, but most of the time it's a very sweet. Like just cuddling up next to me. I just. I think that is so sweet. Babe, do you have any?

Yeah, well, just the connection, the physical connection. Like what comes to my mind is one of my favorite things, is just to see Emerson with Alexandra and that connection and that bond and that love. One of the sweetest things that is in my mind right now and often is when he's breastfeeding and they're just kind of hanging out and he's. He's either eating or he's just kind of tired. He'll have his hand on Alexander's chest, just kind of sitting there, almost like an anchor point to his mom. There's something about his tiny little hand, so deliberately yet unconsciously there. Connected to Alexandra is something that I think is just so sweet. And just to see that connection is a beautiful thing. Yeah. Totally precious. In one of those beautiful snapshot moments, every time I see it.

Yeah. And that's one for me, too. The breastfeeding is. Any breastfeeding mother knows. And even if you're bottle feeding, it's the same. You still look down at your child's eyes and then for them, it's just so amazing to see from when he was born to where he is now, just his awareness and his ability to hold his head up and, like, look and turn and just like, sometimes he just has, like, this intense, amazing gaze. When I'm breastfeeding, he just, like, stares into my eyes. It's so. He's like this little, tiny old being, but it's so powerful and it's just. It's so incredible. Like, there's probably nothing, nothing like it in the world. When you just lock eyes with your little baby and you're nursing him, it's truly remarkable. So I think those are a few.

Thanks for your awesome questions, Karen. Thanks.

Thanks, Karen.

You're welcome.

Thank you.

Super sweet.

Deidra, you are now on.

Hello.

Hi.

We hear crying in the background. Hi.

Hi.

I miss you.

I know. And you have a little son, right? What's his name?

Jason Lauren Caldwell. Ooh.

Welcome, Jason.

He is two months old now.

Oh, my gosh. So exciting. Congrats.

Thank you. I actually have, like, two questions. But the first one is I am in the education program in college. And what were they talking about? They were talking about getting your baby to sleep during the night. And it turned into like this big conversation against attachment parenting and different things that I really tried to do with my son. And when it happened, I didn't say anything at all. I think I lost brain cells when I had Jason. So at the time I couldn't think of anything to say. And I was so mad when I drove away. I was like, I should have said.

This, I should have said that, I.

Should have defended know what I think. And yeah, I'm not like bashing what other people think at all. But I was just wondering like how you guys handle any criticism. And this was based on thinking that babies wouldn't be able to self regulate if they're, you know, always getting taken care of and not getting let cry and all that. But Jason just last night slept till six in the morning. So I don't know.

Wow, Jason is ahead of us. Not that it's not that there's a header behind but Jason, Jason is sleeping more than us over here.

I woke up this morning and I was like, oh my God, how did that happen?

That's awesome. There's a few things on that will answer the criticism and then we can talk about the sleep too, just on our thoughts. One of the questions actually that I wanted to talk about more today because I was okay, first we'll talk about the criticism and then we'll go to sleep. So the criticism for me, I think the biggest thing is if I've learned anything from parenting is before I had Emerson, I was very opinionated. I thought I knew everything about parenting and that way that person parents is not right and this is what they should be doing. It wasn't that drastic, but I will say I was definitely opinionated. And then after having a child, I realized that there is no one right way to parent. And there are so many, so many ways that one can choose to raise their child. So for me it's been the practice of really seeing what resonates with me. There's so much information and whatever just feels like that is the path for me. It's changed for me in different ways in different areas, but just staying true to that and knowing that I am following my own path. And I'm going to be a demonstration for the way that I feel like I want to parent. And if people are interested in it, they can ask me about it. If they're not, then that's Fine. If they choose to do something different, that's fine. Fine. And if anybody criticizes, for me, it's like, that's their issue, not mine. I feel totally in integrity with how I'm raising our son, and I feel like I am doing the right thing. I think whenever I don't. Whenever I really take on some of the criticism that might be there, it's that I might be questioning what I'm actually doing. Like, am I doing it right? And there's so many things for parenting and, you know, for mothers to question, like, am I doing it right? Is this right? I feel like this is the right thing to do and just to kind of let go of all of that doubt and really just step into your powerful mama goddess and just say, I'm doing it. I'm doing it perfectly. So that's kind of how I would address that. Do you have any thoughts on that or does that resonate?

Yeah, that resonates completely. I think part of it, too, is what bothered me. These are people that are going to be taking care of children that are raised in all different kind of ways and that really have to be accepting of everything. Maybe I was overly emotional that night, too.

I don't know.

I totally get it. I definitely have more. I call them frustration, anger flare ups that can come up when I'm like, oh, these little babies. When you have a child and you're like, you just have such an affinity and such a desire for all babies to be healthy and happy. And again, on the sleep, I think that there's so many different ways to do it. And whatever you choose to do around sleep, I think you just need to have a loving intention. And even if people choose to put them in the other room and have them cry all night, whatever it is, I think. I think that babies are really resilient and as long as they have loving parents, that they're going to be okay. Although I don't think that's probably ideal. But we can't. Yeah, I don't know. Babe, what are your thoughts?

I think the idea of allowing other people to have their approach is extraordinarily important, and it's softened both Alexandra and I a lot. Not just with parenting, but with all of our views. We kind of got it intellectually that everyone needs to figure out their own path. But as we became parents, it became that much more real for us. So I think that process of allowing other people to have their approach and letting that be okay, and then also allowing you to experiment where you don't need to have one approach that is the approach that you are always going to do at all times, period. But to look at it through more of a growth mindset where you're constantly experimenting and learning and trusting yourself and getting a little bit more wise every moment and every day. And I think when we do that, when we start with that, where we truly have compassion for ourselves and the fact that we're learning and we're not perfect, we're never going to be perfect, but yet we can be fearless about it and we can really trust ourselves, then I think we're more open to other people's perspectives and we're also less attached to any criticism because we know that they don't know because we don't know. We're just experimenting. We're doing the best that we can. And it's all just an iterative process that hopefully we can bring as much consciousness and love and enthusiasm and all that good stuff to it.

Hello?

Yep. Does that make sense?

Yeah, that does. I thought that my phone cut out. Yeah, that's perfect. It makes me feel better or less angry or whatever. I don't know really how to explain it.

But yeah, this is too.

I mean, this is one of those things where if we want to change others, it's kind of. Byron, Katie says you can be in other people's business, God's business or your business. And the only business that anyone should ever be in is their own business. You can't control God's work and earthquakes and natural this and that, but when you do, you are going to try to. When you try to, you are going to get stressed and you can't control other people's lives and business. You just don't have that control, nor can they control yours. We only have the authority over our own lives. And then we have the opportunity to kind of integrate whatever feedback or thoughts we get and say, well, what can I do here to really be even more in integrity and just let it all kind of unfold without all the drama that often goes with. This is the way to do it. No, this is the way to do it. There are so many approaches and you can find very, very smart, intelligent, awesome people who do the exact opposite approach. We've seen that with our friends who we really respect and admire, who do certain things. We are like, really? And then the best part was months later we're like, I actually see the partial truth in that. We wouldn't quite do it that way. But yeah, this aspect to it does make sense. And it's been a really, really empowering perspective for us to adopt, wouldn't you say, babe?

Yeah, definitely. And I think a lot of it is like, not. It's not either or it's not attachment parenting or this parenting. It's like, yes. And so for me, what I've done is I've looked at so many different ways of parenting and I lean towards more of the attachment parenting, but not all of it. And for me, I just take little pieces that I like. And like I said in the introduction for everyone just to create your own parenting philosophy, whatever that is for you, it doesn't mean that you need to say, okay, I'm following attachment parenting, and that is the Bible. You need to just be willing to keep your mind open and willing to say, okay, you know what? Actually, I don't agree with most of that idea, but I do like that, okay, I'm going to take that piece. I'm going to take that piece. I'm going to take that piece. And I think it's really important, even if when people do criticize what you are doing, to not come back in a triggered way, to really see, okay, where are they coming from? What's their intention? And then calmly coming from a place of, this is what I choose to do. Because the only way that we are going to actually change and inspire and influence people is if we demonstrate it. To come back with anger is not demonstrating attachment parenting. For us to be loving and connected and attuned and things like that, we need to be supportive and open for other people and let everyone else have their journey and their experience. Is that helpful?

Yep.

Yeah.

I don't want to have any labels either, or actually think or label myself anyway with him. But it will be easier when I go to class now just to be more humble about everything and calm down and listen and hopefully just try to learn something.

Yeah, they need to learn. Sorry, go ahead, go ahead.

Maybe at the end of the semester, I'll kind of tell my teacher because I get along with her really good and just see what she has to say about everything.

And you can also just bring it up in class too, like next class if you wanted. Like, you know what, I listened to last class lecture or whatever, and I kind of have different beliefs and thoughts and I would love to hear what your thoughts are on this and being willing to challenge in a cool way and just saying I'm actually doing it differently and being willing to stand up and say, okay, all of you guys are going to do it like this, but this is how I'm doing it and it might inspire them in a different way. So be willing to stand up and see what happens.

Yeah, I have class tonight, so I think I will do that. Sweet.

Let us know how it goes.

I had one more question.

Yeah, perfect. Yep. Well, let's see.

I had Nevaeh when I was 20. I had her pretty young and that was. I'm 30 now. And when, you know, when I got pregnant with Jason, you know, I thought.

This is going to be easy.

You know, it's so easy. I already did it before. I don't know if I like forgot everything with a newborn, but oh my gosh, it's been like such a journey with him and you know, we sleep wise and like, or just life has completely changed in a good way. But I was just wondering, do you have any tips on trying self care and just trying to adjust again to everyday living, I guess, with a newborn?

Yeah. Well, I love that too, that you shared that, because I think that nature is very crafty in the way that we're meant to procreate. I even had moments during the birth, I'm like, why do people do this? And then you have the baby and you're like, oh, my gosh, what? What is going on? What? And then all of a sudden you get to a point where you're like, I want to have another one. I want to have another one. Maybe we'll have three. And you're like, what? It's crazy how the hormones can work on that front. And I do think that there is probably part of it too. Forget it. And then you do it all over again. It's magical and amazing and also intense. So I think my biggest tip, you know, you've gone through this twice, I've gone through it once, so I can't say from the second time around, but is to simplify your life as much as possible. And do not think that you need. I mean, your baby is two months old. Do not think that you have another one as well, another child that you need to like jump into life. So if you can simplify, like let go of all the things that you think you need to do and get really clear, like, what are my priorities? Okay, I got my baby, my other child, whatever it is that are your top priorities and just focus on that. That's been my biggest practice and also biggest challenge because, you know, you want to get engaged and you want to do this and you want to do that. And then there's the reality of you only have 24 hours in a day, and especially with fragmented sleep, you should be napping some of those times, and you should be resting. And I go to bed pretty much when Emerson goes to bed. If I'm up a little bit later, it's like a half an hour, maybe an hour after he goes to bed, and then I'm in bed until he wakes up. So sometimes we're in bed, like, 11 to 12 hours. We're granted up a lot during the night, but I've made it a practice. Like, there's nothing more important than me getting as much sleep as I can. So I think just really taking care of yourself and letting go of expectations. Expectations and letting go of comparing yourself to this mother or to that mother and what she's doing and, wow, that looks like she's doing tons and I'm not doing anything. Let go of all of that BS and say, okay, great. That person is awesome. What they're doing. What am I doing? What do I need to do to stay connected and thrive and then focus on that. As we've talked about in Rocky Goddess Life and all of that is your nutrition. Make sure you're getting as much great food as you can. Meditating, resting, exercising, going for a walk with your baby. Whatever it is that keeps you healthy and sane are most important. Does that help?

Yeah, I just think that I just had a lot of expectations that I shouldn't have. Like, with baby wearing. I was like, oh, that's going to be so easy. You know, I can run around the house and get everything done and start working out. But, you know, baby has his own way of how he wants things, and that didn't work out too good for us, but we're adjusting pretty good.

Yeah. Well, let me just say for all of you that do have this experience as well, I was like, very baby wearing. You know, we have, like, five different wraps. And initially, Brian walked with him every day in the Moby Wrap when he was born, and he loved it. And it was just his little. He just was just cozied up, and he could walk and he would sleep, and it was amazing. And then we got to the point where he was not a big fan. Fan of the wraps. We had a period where he did not want to be in a wrap pretty much at all. And if it was maybe like 10 or 15 minutes, and then he only wanted to do, like, facing out wraps. And I know there's a lot of people who say you should never face your baby out in a wrap, but that was the only wrap that he would Wear. So that is the wrap that we use. So, yes, you can have lots of expectations of how you think it's going to go. And then you just got to roll with it because I definitely had that. And I'm like, oh, my gosh, what am I doing wrong? I thought all babies love to be wrapped up. But yeah, so I'm in that club as well. So, yeah, I think that's the biggest thing too, for me. I think for all of us new mothers and parents is to let go of the expectations. It's great to have these ideals and how we want to parent and how we want it to go. And then being. Which I feel like Karen Mazan Miller is really great with this. Just observing your child and being with your child and saying, okay, I have this expectation with my child. This isn't how it's going. This is not for me. It would be fantastic. I was sleeping all night. I'm not. So how do I embrace it while still having, as Brian was saying, a growth mindset and trying different things and seeing how I can best support us to get the best sleep. But letting go of the expectations and the negative thoughts and I'm doing something wrong and all of that, because I know I have it and all new mothers have it as well. So letting go of the expectations and just roll with it. You know what? Whatever you get done in the day, that's what you get done. So be it. That's it. Go to bed. That's so true.

Yeah, that answers that completely, I feel.

Okay, good. Babe, do you have anything to add on that from the gentleman's perspective?

Thank you. That was fantastic.

Alrighty then. Well, cool. Well, thank you so much. I'm sending you lots of. Oh, one other thing I wanted to say. Two months. Your baby's two months. I know a lot of people say that everything settles down after three months of having a newborn. And it's kind of the. You have three trimesters and there's the fourth trimester, and after three months, everything settles and magic appears. I literally had it in my calendar like that. Three months. And there was a lot of things that changed, but I can't say that I saw the light and there was a major difference. For me, it's been more like five months. And now we're like six months. I'm like, oh, okay. If somebody would have told me, don't plan to have any expectations for six months after having a newborn, after having a baby, that would have been better advice for me than three months because I feel like six months, I'm now finding. I mean, I've had a great groove, but now it's a whole different groove. So just giving yourself time. Giving yourself time. Time, time. So that's all. That's it. I'm going to end that one. Thank you guys so much. Thank you. And congrats again. Yay. Congrats to you guys, too. Thank you.

Thank you.

So do we have any other questions? There's two, maybe three other things that I want to talk about. If not, then we.

Well, go ahead. Why don't you go ahead and chat about those things?

Okay.

We'll just do it quickly and then we'll wrap up. So one of the things that we were just talking about, I think as new mothers, I just wanted to say this. Take care of your needs. Your baby needs a happy mama. So whatever you can do to be happy, do those ask. Ask for support. Ask support from your partner if you have the finances to have somebody help you clean or help you cook or something to make sure that you are getting time for yourself. I know Dan Siegel talked about this in our interview, which I love, Dan Siegel. And he was just saying that a lot of kind of attachment parenting style, types of parenting can tend to think that you need to be with your baby 24 7, and they don't honor the parents don't honor their own needs. So he just was saying that kind of a pitfall for that, that parents need time. They need like an hour to go and do their own thing, whether it's walking or meditating or an exercise class or go meet with a friend. Like, create that space as much as you can so that your needs are met, so that you can feel connected and happy. So I just wanted to kind of share a little bit on that and how important that is. Do you have any thoughts on that, babe?

Nope. I think it's perfect.

Okay. Perfect. And then we were going to talk about the sleeping. So I find it hilarious. And I will apologize that I have not done one interview on sleep. We've talked about sleep in a different other interview, but I didn't do one interview on an author from a sleep book. And the reason I didn't was because it just wasn't even in my awareness. I know people had said that you sleep could be challenging, but I was planning to co sleep and breastfeed, and I just thought you just breastfeed and you go back to sleep and it's not going to be that big of a deal. It's definitely a little bit more of A challenge for me. And I know some people have babies right away and they're sleeping through the night right away. That really hasn't been our experience. Dr. Sears, who is another great author and he has a whole bunch of books and he focuses mostly on attachment parenting he was talking about, which is kind of what was helping me along, that babies that feed at night, I think it's prolactin is really high at night, so it's really good for the baby's brain so that babies will be really intelligent. So I always like that when I'm waking up at night, I'm like, okay, great. It's really good for his brain. But one thing I will say that we have chosen to co sleep with the little guy. And I do think it's so beneficial to be so close to him. I couldn't imagine him sleeping in the other room. And I know parents have different thoughts, but I love being close to him and it does make it so much easier for me just to breastfeed him right there. And I do feel like I'm getting more sleep than I would if he was in another room in a crib. So I am a big fan of co sleeping and there's so many different things on sleep. And I will just say one book that I read, the no Cry Sleep Solution, was somewhat helpful. It helps you kind of help with naps and how to get them on a cycle and get their biorhythm or their circadian rhythms in sync. And that was really helpful for me. But I don't sleep. That's going to have to be a whole other conference. Babe, do you have any thoughts on the sleep recommendations?

I think that is a whole other conference. And I think we should also say that I haven't been sleeping in our bed for the last several months. That's been a big decision that we made. And again, a friend of mine was over. When did he come over three weeks in or something like that, when we just started doing it.

Oh, right.

So we shared the same bed for the first couple of weeks and then I took a night off in the other room and got a full night of sleep. And we wound up talking about it and realized it just didn't make sense for both of us to be walking through the day totally sleep deprived. And that I think was a huge kind of shift for us and a really important one that has allowed us to kind of navigate it with more grace. I can't imagine both of us getting up all the time with the choices that we've Made to breastfeed and we're not doing any pumping, so there's no bottles that we can share. There's not a whole lot that I can do beyond changing the occasional diaper during the night. So that decision and kind of having support from our friends as well, where what they did was he slept in the other room during the breastfeeding phase. And then the deal was he was on night duty for the rest of the child's life. And that for me was very empowering because I felt bad about it. I think we had a little bit of ambivalence and we still do a little bit. But I think that was really empowering and something that's not talked about a lot as well, that I think is important to discuss a little bit as well.

Yeah, I think that's great because that was, as we were talking about earlier, kind of expectations. We just thought it was going to be like, happy time, family, bed, like, everything's grand and, you know, Brian's running our business and he kind of needs to be on. And I've taken time off of. Off of doing a lot of work. So we've just made the decision that it would be best for him to be getting as much sleep as he could. And I will say, like, I gotta just say there are moments, especially early on, I was like, oh, my gosh, when I was getting up all the time, I'm like, I am so jealous he is sleeping. But in the whole big scheme of it, it is the right thing to do for our family. And I think that's the biggest thing for everyone to figure out what is ideal for their family and what Brian's doing with our business and just everything he wouldn't be doing if he wasn't getting the sleep. So it's. So it is definitely awesome for us. And it continues to be an evolution for me to navigate the whole sleeping thing. There will be. What helps me, I think, also is that as I was saying, kind of the snapshot of him sleeping, I realize that he is not going to be a baby forever and that he, you know, probably there is going to be a time where he doesn't want to sleep with me. And he is going to be big and he is going to be an adult. And this phase is. Although sometimes it can feel super intense when you are up, like, you know, four to eight times at night, they go like, oh, my gosh, I need sleep. But for me, I just keep coming back to kind of the gratitude and appreciating and knowing that it will pass, but then also, like savoring it as much as I can because I know there's going to be a time when he's 10 and I look back and I'm like, oh, we used to sleep together and you used to get up and suckle from my breast. So I try to have that mindset as much as I can. And I won't say that I'm a rock star at that all the time and I have my challenges with it, but I think that's a really great thing. And I talked about in the interview at the beginning, just get your mindset right. You need to have a warrior mindset. No negative thoughts. Don't let negative thoughts get in the way. Negative stories. You need to stay empowered and choose the most empowering response. And it. I will not say it's easy when you're sleep deprived, but do your best to see the light and to stay positive through the whole process. Anything else, Ben?

No, just the fundamentals. Just going back to. That's one of our big commitments is just taking care of ourselves. And one idea that was a big one for us was having greens cut up for us and having them in the refrigerator before we need them. So we decided that we needed to dial in our nutrition before we got pregnant and during the pregnancy. Then obviously as we had the birth and had our baby and we're just under more stress than we'd ever been under and we got help to like, when our family would come over, they'd obviously bring in groceries like in the first X weeks and we'd actually had help getting our greens like washed and cut up. So whether that's. That's something that your husband does or if you can afford to have some help come over and do that, or some loving relatives, that's been one of the biggest little things that we've done and we've eaten better over the last six months than I think we ever have in our lives because we always have huge amount of greens, kale and collard greens and chards and all different things. We can just take a handful out of the plastic bag and put it into walk and surf right in five minutes and have a really, really healthy part of a meal. And that's something that I've never heard anyone say anything about in this context. And it certainly has been one of the biggest ways we've really taken care of ourselves and navigated it eating as well as we have, wouldn't you say?

Yeah, for sure. And I think it's such an important thing too, because as you, you know, it's one of the most beautiful times of your life and also intense and stressful at times that you want to be as nourished and on with your nutrition as possible, and a lot of times you aren't, and it's challenging for you to do that. And I totally get that. So if you can have anybody be willing to ask for support, hire somebody for support to help you with your nutrition. Cutting out vegetables, doing whatever it is that helps you with your nutrition so that your body is feeling happy and good as you navigate the. The new parenthood experience. So I think that's really great. I would love Babe. And then we'll wrap up for you just to share some of your thoughts for some of the partners for dads on how to support new mothers. Because Brian has been amazing. He is. I mean, from the get go, he's been so, so supportive of me and just incredible. He's an amazing dad and always making sure, like, what do you need? What do you need?

And he's.

He's done tons of dishes. I've barely done any laundry. He does pretty much all of the laundry I probably have done. Not that much. I've done some, but not that much at all. So he's done all of that, and he's just very on it for me, just taking care of me and really honoring my needs and taking care of my needs. And he's been a rock star. So, babe, what are your thoughts? What are your thoughts?

I appreciate that, and I'm humbled by what you do. So for me, I always feel like I'm playing catch up in terms of what I'm contributing to the whole process with the family and with Emerson. And you do so much, and you're so on. So I think that's my starting point is just a really, really deep appreciation for the amount of profound commitment you have being an extraordinary mom. And we talked about it a little bit, but just for me, the appreciation of the fact that Alexandra is on 24 hours a day, seven days a week with, again, we're doing the breastfeeding, we're not doing any pumping. So there's max, two and a half, three hour, kind of quote break potential. And that's something that has humbled me to see Alexandra step up in that way. And frankly, it's been an opportunity. And then with the sleeping thing and getting the opportunity to sleep well, what can I do to help during the day to create the environment where you can most fully support Emerson is kind of what's going through my mind all the time. So whenever you're breastfeeding or doing your thing, I'm basically. It's not my time to zone out in front of something, although I need that time as well and just kind of check out. But just finding little things I can do so that you don't have to do things that aren't things that only you can do. You already have so many things to do that only you can do that. I really feel it's my opportunity to take care of as many of the other little things as I possibly can. So that's kind of my compass. We joke about how I walk around the house and I'm just like, it was funny to me in the beginning of just how my days could go away or at least my mornings and evenings or afternoons in like two to three minute tasks. If I'm taking this diaper over here, I'm cleaning up this, I'm putting the laundry over here, I'm doing these dishes or I'm cooking this meal, I'm doing this. It's just appreciating just how much lives do change and how much our lives did change and how much better our lives are because it isn't just about us anymore. That's been what's been going through my mind anyway. I'm rambling now, so I'm not sure if that was helpful. Was that helpful?

No, that was great. And I also think, yeah, it's awesome. And I think one thing for mothers, well, I'll speak to the dads too, for any dads that might listen to this. Because I don't think we have any dads on other than Brian. Is that your partner, your wife, whatever is going through a lot. I mean this is to step into motherhood. I mean it is a rebirth. The life that she knew is no longer. She is recreating herself as a mother. And it's a day to day, moment to moment process. And fathers are doing it the same, but it's I think bigger for a mother. And you may see her and be like, it just looks like she's not doing anything. And there's a great book that I recommend, what mothers do when it's. Especially when it seems like nothing. That is a great book. And then there's also the same author, wrote another book, How Mothers Love. So Naomi is her name and I don't know her last name name, but those are great books. So the idea that a mother, she just looks like she's just naturally doing it. She's Breastfeeding, she's giving the baby a bath, she's caring for them, she's holding them. What are all the things that she's doing? And it looks like it's just easy for her, but it is intense for a mother to give her attention and her focus to that child all the time. You are on guard all the time. With a newborn, is the baby okay? Is the baby breathing? What does the baby need? It's challenging when we have to make decisions for ourself on a day to day, moment to moment basis. But then when we need to make them and check in with a newborn, it can be challenging. So just saying that for the fathers, that even if your wife doesn't ask you for help, she needs help. So give her. See what you can do to help her. And a lot of women have challenging times asking for support. And be willing mothers to ask for support. You are not weak. You are awesome. Awesome. To ask for support. Ask for as much support as you can. People may choose to say no, they can't support you. Your husband may not do what you ask, but you have to get in the habit of asking for what you need because this is a crucial time for you and for your baby and you want to be as happy as you can. So most of the time, most people are really happy to help. So I just want to share that as well. All righty. So I think we are going to wrap up unless anybody else has any other questions. Press 1 if you have a question. We got no more questions. Anything else, babe?

I think that's it. I just want to applaud you again and thank you to everyone who participated in the event in making it possible to do what we do. We appreciate you and send lots of love to you and your families and also we're just so excited to continue to explore all of these. So this was just year one. Alexander will be working on more of the interviews and all that good stuff this year and we're hoping to make this an annual event. So if you have any ideas of people you'd love for her to look into and to feature and profile, send us an email@supportntheos.com and we'll dig into it. But I just want to thank you and we appreciate you. Thanks. Made it possible.

Beautiful.

Awesome.

I think you said that. Perfect. I echo what Brian said, but thank you. Thank you for being a part of it. I hope that it's inspiring you and helping you and supporting you in your maybe soon to be parenthood journey or your parenthood journey now. It was definitely a pleasure and an honor to create and I'm so happy to have it out in the world and I hope that it really helps create healthier and happier families. So sending you all lots of love and have a wonderful day and we'll look forward to Optimal Parenting 101 next year. Take care.

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Mama Goddess. Sending you lots of love and blessings. If you'd like to connect more, go to mamagoddess.com until next time. Keep rocking it and have an awesome, awesome day.