Wild Feminine with Tami Kent

Welcome to Mama Goddess. I'm your host, Alexandra J. Johnson. This podcast is all about rocking your goddess life, creating vibrant health and celebrating motherhood and family life. It's about living an authentically awesome life. Let's have some fun. Today we have a delightful guest, Tammy Lynn Kent. Tammy is a holistic women's healthcare visionary. She's also a writer and a mother and the author of Wild Feminine and Mothering from youm center and the founder of Pelvic Care. No, holistic pelvic care. And she just has so much, so much amazing wisdom for all of us women. And I'd love to welcome you. Let's start off with Wild Feminine. So what. Why did you write wild Feminine? And what does wild feminine even mean?

Yeah, well, I started as a women's health physical therapist, which is. Most people don't know what that is, so I'll explain a little bit. It's a body work practice that focuses on the pelvic bowl, and it works with definitely pelvic symptoms, pain imbalance. So I started out a little bit more fixing things, I think, in the female body. And this is about 15 years ago when I started doing this. But as I sat with women, I'm very sensitive to energy, and I was amazed at the beauty in that space. And, you know, it's the doorway. It's where life comes in. It's where we all come in. And so I was sitting in this immensely beautiful and sacred space and in awe of it in every single woman that came to see me. And so it didn't really match with what I learned about the female body, which was almost nothing, really. And, you know, there's maybe the anatomical awareness, maybe if that. And so I started using playing with words in different language, because what I had been taught about my body or understanding my body didn't match with this mystery that I was sitting in with women. So I started using words, playing with words, and the word that came back again and again was wild feminine. And so that's twofold. I would say feminine being this energy, this essence that's uniquely female. Men have it too, but there's a way in which it's especially embodied in the female pelvis that is exquisite and gorgeous and hardly accessed, I think more now. You know, when I first started working in 15 years ago, it was less talked about. We were more in feminism and not as much in the feminine. But I wanted to understand, what is this? What is the feminine? And so I started writing and spending time with it. And Wild to me is like Wild places, nature. You know, when you go to a wild place, when you go to a wild river or you go to a forest, or you go to particularly a place that hasn't been disturbed, that hasn't been touched or less touched, how it has that exquisite wholeness to it. It has an energy field, even that's palpable. And it's why people are drawn to the wild that's in all of us. And that was the closest thing that I could use that word with feminine to understand what I was seeing.

I love that too. And it may not resonate with every woman, but I know for me, and I think for a lot of women, just hearing the wild feminine, you're like, I'm not sure what that is, but I want it.

Right? Yeah, I want to own it. Either that or there's a reaction to it, too. I think the one way that wild has maybe been used into the body is like, in a sexual way, like overtly sexual. And so, you know, one thing I didn't think about when I wrote this book and have my email address as tammyildfeminine is being at the hardware store and I'm getting a hammer and maybe somehow I'm having to give my email address or something, and I have to say, at Wild Feminine, there's a lot of interesting things I run into with that, especially when I'm interfacing in different segments of the world. So, you know, I was working in the female body, and I was seeing this beauty, and I started taking notes. And the wild feminine took me about seven years to write because I started seeing and I was getting this gift of sitting with women. Over time, it's been over 2,000 women, so I've sat with many women. I think of it like a meditation of going into this deep, sacred space. And I've learned now to speak the language really well and understand the field of the body and help women access their own creative energy. And with that, it certainly pertains to pleasure, you know, being in that space. But to do that, it started out with me taking notes and kind of taking notes on each person that came in so I could understand the left ovary, for example, or the right ovary, which is really the left energy field and the right energy field and the womb, which is the doorway. And so taking notes and learning to really read and then speak the language fluently of the body. But as what I've noticed is as I've started sort of tapping into the space with women, really, a lot of ancient cultures have understood how to access this energy too. And so there's different pockets of ancient medicine, like Chinese medicine might be one of those, or Ayurvedic medicine or Maya medicine, where people are interfacing with this deeper level of energy that's in the body and particularly in the public bowl. And when I have talked to different people, one of the lineages of medicine, of this person I was talking to, studying this particular lineage of acupuncture, was saying that the medicine is often in the field of the healer. So the healer brings this medicine with them and into the field of the person they're working with. And that's how they begin to realign that. And so that is sort of my understanding as I've accessed more and more of this wild feminine landscape. It doesn't always interface with technology. And so, yeah, it's an interesting note of how to bridge. How to bridge the ancient energy fields and then bring them into this modern life that we're obviously living.

Yeah, and I think that's amazing too, because I know for me personally, there's the. As I dive more into my wild feminine, there is, and this isn't for every woman, I don't think, but there is, like a strong desire to go more inward and to not be so tech savvy. Do you find that that's common for women?

Yes, I do. And I think it's that pull too, where really the feminine aspect of ourselves, the wild aspects of ourselves would go. It's kind of like when you go deep in nature and you unplug, there's a whole other field of being and awareness that I think is. It's like you almost have to bridge to the other side, to come to the place where there's technology and the fast pace of life. And not that it has to be either or, but there is definitely a different way of being. And so one of my desires is to help women go down and take this ancient and access it, but bring it into the modern life in whatever they're doing. So. So that they can build a career from that, so they can mother and create from that, so they can bring it into their partnerships or create in whatever way they want. So, you know, this comes back to pleasure. I think ultimately what I see women hungry for is to feel alive, to feel the senses and feel the pleasure of living. And one secret for accessing that is coming back into this. This deep internal place and bringing it to the life that you're living.

That's beautiful. I love that too. That was one of my questions. What are women hungry for? And I love that you said that of like coming to this place and feeling it, feeling the pleasure in their body. Do you find that it's different for men and women or what is the difference?

Yeah, you know, I pondered that a lot because I have three sons. I would say I'm not as well versed on the language of the male body because I haven't sat with, you know, I haven't had the same experience where I'm sitting with woman after woman after woman and really delving into this and understanding the language. But I'm curious about it because many of those women have partners, fathers, sons. I have a partner and three sons. And so in the process of pondering the female body so deeply, it's made me curious about the male body. I do feel like it's. There is a masculine and a feminine to the male body, just like there is to the female body. And there are aspects we can draw from those. We can talk about those a little bit. But one thing that's quite different is women do have this deep internal space, which is the womb and the spirit door, where they bring in life energy. And they don't have to have a child to access that, but it is that innate gift of being able to bring life through. So there's this deep internal, almost like altar space where a woman can go and gestate and ponder and see and plant seeds. And it's why the community often takes cues from women, because I think they have this deep internal space. Males definitely tend to be a little bit more externally wired, I guess I would say, in their energy systems. Not that they can't go deep and go internal, they can, but there is this more outer space sense. Like when I hold my sons and I feel their energy, there's. There's more of an outer and almost like the drive to take that feminine energy out into the world. So I noticed that distinction, you know. So, like, for example, in my family, in my home, I am definitely the visionary of, like, our family structure of. I would say I. Pleasure is really important to me and it's important in family life. So I think a lot about what pleasure are we going to have on a daily basis, on a weekly basis, you know, what trips are we going to take, where are we going to go to really enjoy and savor each other in life. And so I am the one that kind of sees that and puts that into play because I have that kind of core. And then my sons and my partner really follow my lead on that. But they are really game to take it and move with it. Like, yeah, let's go to the desert and go mountain bike riding. Yeah, let's go to the coast and let's go out paddleboarding. There is this beautiful willingness to just take that energy and go with it. That is in their male form.

That's awesome. I also love that this is your work and you have three boys and a partner that you're surrounded by men.

No accident there. Yeah, I know. So you'll see when you get the mothering book, too, that I talk about this more deeply. But I kind of thought originally, when I was really exploring feminine and I had my first son, I tell a story about being worried about having a daughter and being puzzled by that because here I love women and I love women's work. But there was a way in which I thought that having sons would protect me from this. Wasn't conscious, but, you know, it's sort of what I figured out, that it would protect me from having to delve into my own feminine wounding. I would sort of skirt around it. And as I went deeper with women and really studied the feminine and took those notes and really listened and then listened in my own body, very quickly I realized that the feminine was a part of my field that I had to reclaim regardless if I wanted to have more whole boys. And I think it's almost missed too, that. So people will say sometimes to me, like, how interesting that you have, you know, too bad you don't have girls who could benefit from this work. And what I feel like is I feel like they're almost benefiting more because they don't have that deep internal space that might help them re pattern. In some ways, I almost think that females have this inherently regenerative space that helps them, whereas males don't as much. And so when they don't get acknowledged in their feminine space, it's a very deep wound that may even be hard for them to identify. So I feel with having boys, I feel that it's very almost purposeful. And the more I understand the feminine, the more I understand how essential it is that young males have a female in their life that can nurture their feminine.

That's beautiful. And then to give them like a role model, a demonstration of what it is to be feminine.

Right, Absolutely. I think that in my initial search for the feminine, I definitely realized I had somehow externalized definitions of feminine. You know, I. This is long story short, but, you know, maybe it's lipstick or maybe it's high heels, or, you Know, there was that whole election going on kind of right as I was bringing wild feminine out, where Obama was coming onto the stage, and we had Sarah Palin. And I don't know if I can be political on here, but I just remember thinking, this is so interesting because a lot of the feminists of the time were confused, because here are some women stepping in, you know, Hillary, and yet they weren't really feminine women. They, like Sarah Palin, had the trappings of feminine, but not the energy of feminine. And by that point, I understood it pretty clearly. But when I first was investigating this, you know, around 2000, 2001, it was more confusing to me. Like, what is feminine? Well, feminine can be lipstick and jewelry and beauty, but it has a different quality. It's like when someone puts it on for themselves because they are savoring that color, that texture, that experience. You know, that's what all good art has infused in it is an understanding and a relationship with the feminine. But when you see it externalized and put on because someone's trying to get value or trying to reinforce their own value, it has sort of a hollow quality in the center. That's not the feminine. That's the sort of externalized definition of it. So as I came into it, what happened for me, I started forming the feminine is I started to come alive in my desire for, like, color and texture on my own body. So I had been dressing in more monotone colors, and all of a sudden I was just like, I want red. I want turquoise. I want it on the wall. I want it on my earrings. You know, I want to feel it. I want to feel that color. And so that, you know, as I came to embody that more, what's really fun is watching my boys play with that and watching how much they also love to be beautiful in their own, you know, I mean, intern feeling of that.

Right.

Sorry.

No, go ahead.

Just giving expression to it. Like, I think it's a natural experience of every being to want to play with beauty and whatever that means.

Yeah, I love the internal and the external, like, how it can show up and not, like, painting on the external feminine. And I know, as you were just talking about it, just feeling into, like, the vibration of me when I'm in my feminine and when my husband's, like, strong in his masculine. They're very different feelings.

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And both genders can, you know, play with that. Like, I watch my boys go into their feminine and put on, you know, they're like, mom, look at me. See me Watch Me, then they're playing with that. But then when you shift into that masculine, it has a very different quality to it.

Fascinating. Okay, so I'm curious in your work, you know, you've worked with 2,000 women. Over 2,000 women. And what is. What are some stories of women that have really inspired you? Like, they've come in to do work with you, and, like, what does the wild feminine look like expressed in their stories?

Yeah. Oh, gosh, there's so many, I would say. I think there is no age so fan on it. You know, that's also kind of fascinating to me too. It's really a woman coming alive to her own exquisite energy and beauty. So I see it in my office all the time where, like, for example, you know, maybe a woman comes in who hasn't found that vibrant partner and is really searching for that. That outer partner to reflect their value. And we start getting into the bowl and into the exquisite beauty of the bowl and. And seeing them start to feel it, feel the quality of it, feel the vibration of it, feel the energy of it rise. You know, that is gonna be the key anyway to find a partner is because when that is radiant, it's very attractive. So watching that someone come into that and feel it and give themselves permission to feel it and give themselves permission to own it without a partner, that they can just own it for themselves. So, like, that would be an example. Or, you know, I have a lot of women who are juggling lots of things. So a lot of business women who are also mothers who are maybe juggling a lot of balls. And I would say they are very proficient. You know, this. Maybe collectively, I'll speak because I think this is a common theme in today's women. Like, we can do it all. Like, we're, you know, really professional, can do our own businesses or. And have kids and whatnot. But so seeing like, for example, a woman coming in who is really accomplishing a lot and is successful by outer standards, but inside she's not feeling fulfilled or completed, and there is no one answer. It's not an answer I can give, but when we tap into her field, there will be more answers for her of what she's really hungry for, what she's wanting. And it might be more time to really nourish her own self and. And bring energy in. It might be savoring what she already has. Like, maybe she has accomplished and has a lot of things that are fulfilling to her, but she isn't allowing herself to come in and actually savor those things. You know, so that would be another example of watching a woman go, yeah, I want more time just savoring the blessings that I already had with my family or with. It often comes down when we're talking wild, feminine, and root. It comes down to some really simple things. You know, good food, good sex, good connections with friends and partner and family.

That's awesome. I love that. Okay, so you said earlier, the pelvic floor, like, once you start getting in the pelvic bowl, like, once you start getting in there. Can you tell us what that actually means? Like, what does it mean to get into our pelvic bowl?

Yeah, well, you know, so there's a physical process that I'm actually doing, so I actually do an internal massage process. It's a vaginal massage. But I really think of it as broader than that. Like, we tend to think about that part of our body in either childbirth or sex. And so I've come to think of it as a whole beautiful space that holds the most powerful creative energy you can imagine. It is an intimate space where we connect with others, but it's also our root, it's our grounding. So, you know, when I'm working with people, I often am working internally to support. It's like a cranial sacral treatment where I'm working with the fascia and the alignment of the space physically. So there is a physical process where I'm actually touching and working. And I should say with that, that a key part of women's health should be physical medicine or really missing that. You know, we get the pap exam, but that's sort of when things are. Already have problems showing up. There's so much that we could be doing that's preventative about just connecting into this space and nurturing it and doing kind of like this treatment I do, which is like a cranial sacral treatment, and nourishing that space physically to keep it vital and healthy. So I'm literally, when I'm doing that touch, anytime someone touches you on your body, like, if you go for a massage, you instantly come out of your head and into your body. And a lot of what we do these days is we're more in our head. And so it's coming down to the body. And when I say coming down to the bowl, then because it's been either thought of as either a birthing place or so, you know, either we think about it in terms of having children or birth control, or we think about it in terms of sex, we don't think about that part of Ourselves very often. So what I get to do and what I'm blessed to do is work with women every week, where I'm literally inviting them to come down to that root place. It is more connected to the earth. Literally, there's a chi point at the base of the pelvic bowl that connects to the earth Qi. And I think we had more awareness for that when we were walking barefoot or walking on the earth, or bleeding on the earth or birthing on the earth. So one of the things I do is literally invite people to sink their energy from the head down, heart and womb, full space. So that's part of what I mean. And when we do that, there's a whole different energetic quality than is in the head. You tend to slow down. We tend to just come to more the simple pleasures of. I mean, I kid you not, the root wants to eat well. It wants to make love. It wants to enjoy things. Taking baths, taking walks, fresh air. You know, the root, if we would listen to the root, we would be feeling more pleasure on a daily basis.

Yes, I agree, and I love that you said that. It's, like, very simple. And I know for me personally, I have. I mean, my route is very clear about what is optimal for me. I don't always follow it, and I suffer when I don't. You know, it's just I feel irritable and cranky and not vibrant.

Exactly. Yeah. I think that is my goal is with women, not only to get them to come down, but to learn how to listen and at least. At least if they communicate and know when they're going against its advice, you know, so first of all, being able to hear what the root is saying, you know, like, this is what's good for you, this is what's not good for you. But then also, if you make a choice, you know, sometimes you do have a more packed day, or you have things where you can't, you know, be at the pace that your root would like. But at least if you can communicate and acknowledge that, then you can maybe find a way to balance it on the other side. So that communication is so vital and so helpful to women for their health and really for the health of whoever they're holding.

So what are some of the unconscious mental emotional blocks and obstacles that women have around connecting with this energy?

Yeah, well, one of the first ones is that it's a place of shame. So, you know, in Wild Feminine, this is why I ended up writing about a lot of different emotions. So the emotions I write about in Wild Feminine Are shame, grief, rage, fear, sadness, and of course, joy, which is also part of the root. But we have to, usually before we get to the joy, we have to talk about the blocks we might encounter. So one is shame. And that can be early on because of, you know, parents or caregivers not wanting someone to touch themselves or it being dirty or, you know, just the messaging that children get sometimes about their bodies. And then women also, I think, can't help but get some of this messaging because of the information around our menstrual cycles. So rather than, you know, there's more awareness for this now, but rather than it being really a cyclical process that is vital to who we are as a being, you know, it's messy or. And you'll see this with teenage girls still, they still feel really uncomfortable about this whole process. General. Has power in it. So I think people generally do get on some level a sense of shame with that part of the body. So one of the things I antidote for that I say to people is when you start connecting, if you feel a sense of shame, feel that that's a layer, it's not the original layer. So if you kind of ignore it a little bit and keep going for the connection, the shame will dissipate.

So.

So if you keep connecting anyway, the shame is sort of a layer that keeps you out of there. But if you ignore it and keep going for the connection, it will fade away and then your connection gets stronger. So that's one of the things I think it's really important for me to say though, that truly, this part of the body, the pelvic bowl, the womb, the ovaries, the vagina, they are vital for every woman's happiness and creative potential. So. So it's essential to move beyond any blocks that might be there because it's really a woman's best guidance system and she needs it.

And what are some of the. Like, how does somebody know if they are connected? Are they not connected? Like, how do they know?

Right. I think, you know, a lot of times sometimes women just know that they aren't connected. You know, I have that experience. Or people will read Wild Feminine and they'll say, I read the exercises. But I just like, it's. I feel numb or I feel stuck. You know, so many of these early patterns are set in place by even the family we were in or being in our mother's womb. If she was disconnected, children will tend to align with the mother or the family because, you know, that's kind of what we have to do to survive. And so there can be long term patterns of disconnect. And so, you know, even knowing that you're not connected is still a knowing and that's a good place to start. And so what I say with that, so sometimes women have like, oh, I can just connect and I can start working on that. That's probably a gift from the linen too, that maybe there was more of a thread of connection. So if there's a thread of connection, you just strengthen it and you build it. If there isn't a connection, then what I say to women is, well, what can you feel? Can you feel a space? Can you feel a darkness? Can you feel a heaviness? What are the sensations down there? Because there's something. Does it feel numb? Does it feel getting to the sensations of what you feel? And part of this is a body awareness practice where you start to pay attention to where you feel sensation in your body and where you don't as much. And so when you come down to the bowl, when they start teasing that out, it's like, oh, actually I do feel, I feel like I'm cut off at the waist or I feel like I'm wide open. And then they can start to feel something, a sensation. And when you start connecting into the sensation, you're actually building a bridge of connection and that's the place to start. So, you know, if someone is feeling that way, I would encourage them just to come in and connect with whatever's there and get really curious about it. Like, does it feel round? Does it feel, you know, does it have a color to it? Is there a density? And getting curious about it, pretty soon they'll start to feel their way into more sensations.

And I'm curious because this, as you're talking about, this literally is the key to more pleasure in our life, right? To actually have this healthy relationship with our pelvic bowl.

Yes, absolutely. Because it is, it's the place where desire springs from. It's like even from our earliest desire as a being coming in. Like, I want to connect, I want to have food, I want to give expression to who I am. You know, those things are really located in that root place and sometimes they've been shut down, certainly, but I think, you know, coming back into them and waking them back up, especially when you begin to take ownership of your own creative energy as, you know, as a grown up, you get to start to play with that and really say, okay, well, this may have been what I got, but now what do I want to do with that? What Do I want to, how do I want to experience pleasure? How do, what do I desire? What do, what do I want in this relationship? What do I want in my life? I think that's the other thing. I spend time with women as I'm working on the alignment of the bowl is I'm really helping them get clear on, you know, what shape did they want in their life, what did they want their partnership to look like, what do they want their family life to look like? What do they want their work to look like? What kind of creative outlets are they engaging in? Or do they want more? You know, it's like those are the questions of the bowl. And I think they're really connected to pleasure.

Yeah. That's amazing. I love that the desire, desire springs from our root. That's awesome.

It does. And in sexual desire too. I think many, many times when I'm working with someone and I'm working with pretty aware women, I'm in Portland, Oregon. It's very open minded. People are connected, they're very aware of bodies. And I'm working with women who are going even further into this space in the root. And still what I'm finding, like even sexually women aren't actually, they're connecting almost more from the head than the root. And again, this can come into different things of disconnect, but it's really satisfying. A lot of women will say to me, you know, after seeing you, my sex feels better or I feel more connected. And I think part of that is they're getting more present in that part of their body and they're allowing themselves to feel their partner rather than just the perceived notion of what it might look like, that they're getting kind of just actually a deeper relationship with that part of their body and thus able to share themselves or connect even differently.

And what's your. Is just the body awareness practices and kind of meditations and explorations. The best way to drop into that center, you know. Cause I know like for me and I know for a lot of women there, you know, you just, you kind of get in your head then you start doing it and then you're like, wait, where's my body?

Right? Yeah, I think a couple ways, you know, when I talk about doing your own self massage and again I think, you know, this is non sexual massage. So this is just connecting with your body. And part of that, part of the need for that is that we are fairly disconnected because we aren't on the earth, walking on the earth, leading on the earth. We're at A faster pace. And so particularly our roots, I think are challenged by that. And so doing a self massage practice. So like for me, I would do this in the shower usually about twice a week. And it kind of varies depending on what's going on. But it's the time I can most get kind of my own quiet time. And with that, what you're doing is just connecting to your own root. It's so satisfying. It's kind of like when you go to the woods and you're actually camping on the earth. And that way that your body taps back into that rhythm is so satisfying. And it's a little bit of that. So where you, you're actually touching your root and connecting to it in both touch and breath awareness, you are waking up that connection to that lower body and you're saying, wow, I'm listening to you, I'm paying attention to you. Which I think has, especially with all the academics in school, we've gotten woefully out of balance from that. I was watching this video and I think I can remember the name. Maybe Credo Mutwa. I think somebody might have even sent me the video. But he's a Zulu shaman. He was talking about, this clip is out there somewhere. I think it's Crito Mutwah M U T W A He talks about how there are two aspects of the mind and he calls it the mind. I would call it maybe the energy field. But he says you have the warrior mind and you have the mother mind. And he says the mother mind goes like this. And he kind of makes like a zigzag with his hands. And then he said in the warrior mind goes like this. And he kind of shows more of a straight line. And he says, you know, the mother mind, we need to waken up the mother mind, all of us, men and women, and that this mind. And he says this mind lives in the female pelvis. But I think again, he's talking about this essence, this quality that is uniquely part of us and part of our deeper self, that when we do go into a lot of schooling and academics or achievement orientation, we lose that and we maybe even devalue it. When it has so much information that can help us in how we make our schedules, how we create the life partnerships and what we're doing. I think it has the best career advice actually for the modern time so that you can make a life that actually feels good to the body and nourishes you.

Yeah, like in your book, you had part of it. I remember root Medicine?

Yes.

Like, it gives us the medicine for our. For our lives. Right?

Absolutely. And that's what I find, you know, when I work with women, that they'll ask me questions, you know, they'll have read Wild Feminine or that, you know, how would you tell me that I should? You know, what can I. And they've come in with lots of questions about their creative energy or the answers, and always say, well, let's go to your root, because that's where the best answers lie. And it's about tapping into that wisdom that has this ancient quality to it that also is deeply relevant to today because it informs us about what we do, desire, how to have those desires met, how to formulate the lives that we are creating in a way that will sustain us. And when we come into that space, it is a physical space, but it's also an energetic space. I do think of it really as a doorway where not only do we bring in children, but we bring in the energy for our lives. And you can go and almost meditate in that space and ask. You often have women the questions you have, put them right here in your bowl. Imagine it like an altar or like a garden space. Set the intentions of what you want and ask for information. Because when you do that, it does. The energy starts to flow and meet you and give you the medicine, the answers, the guidance that you're looking for. Not always in a linear way, but in a more like a river flowing kind of way.

Yeah, it's beautiful. So having like a practice where we go in and be with our womb and just really find our own unique root voice.

Yeah, yeah.

And just keep listening.

I mean, the piece, I think, is having a daily practice because it's sort of like any kind of meditation practice. Sometimes it just feels like you're sitting there and it maybe seems very simple what you're getting. And sometimes you get a flood, and neither one is better, but it's literally, it's. Having the practice allows the information to flow to you. So, like, for me, one simple thing that I've done, because I have a lot happening with three children, and the work I do is I have a tea practice every. Every morning and every afternoon I have a cup of tea. And during that time, I try to be mindful. So not doing things, not picking things up, not thinking about what I need to do, not being on the computer, you know, just being so in the morning, what that might look like is one of my kiddos might come up. They know even. And they will often kind of come up and be with me in that time. And I think they get nourished sometimes, too. They know that I'm not really going to get up and do something during that time, but they're welcome to join me if they want. So sometimes it's snuggling while I'm drinking the tea. Sometimes I'm literally sending a blessing for someone in need. Sometimes I'm blessing my office before I'm going there, or a class that I'm teaching. Sometimes I'm just sitting and receiving information. But it's like that practice is in place. So if there's something that I need to receive, it's right there and it's going to come in. And then the other time I do that consciously is in the afternoon. And the cup of tea has been helpful for me because I promise to drink it before it's cold. So it gives me, you know, especially the morning time I'm sitting there. Usually the afternoon, it's too easy, or I found, especially when I had little ones, it was too easy to do and do and do and do and do and never stop. So it sort of forced me to stop and be mindful before that tea got cold.

That's fantastic. I love that you shared your little daily practices that we can do to really tune into that and just slow down.

And I think keeping it simple means that it will actually happen.

Yeah, totally. My husband is. I'm always like, yeah, I just want to keep it simple. And then I go off on an elaborate thing. He's like, what happened to your simplicity? And I'm like, but I want to do this. And he's like, bring it back, bring it back.

Beautiful. Yeah. And I mean, being fancy is fun, too, but it just. That way, it's actually going to happen. Yes. And especially, like, another example of this. You know, I try to do these things. I try to live this as much as I can. But when I had my third child, I love to write, and that's the way that I really tap into my creative essence. I made a promise to myself, I'll just write one line each day at some point in the day, and usually it ended up being at the end of the day. So I would write one line, and sometimes it would morph into more than one line because I would get going and I would write. But I always. And for every day that year, I wrote one line. And so it doesn't have. You know, if I had. If I had set myself up for doing more, it probably wouldn't have gotten done.

I Mean, that is like super simple. One line a day. That's fantastic.

One line a day. And it was so satisfying. I think that's the interesting thing. If you set up little spaces where you can meet your own creative muse and just feel that aliveness for a little bit, whatever that is, whether it's a walk or a cup of tea or time with your partner or friend, or for me, that year it was writing one line a day. It's like you just feel this aliveness that feels so good. It's very nourishing.

Hmm, beautiful. So I'm curious on the sensuality and the sexuality and the intimacy component. How does that play into. I mean, obviously that's where a lot of that is happening.

Yeah.

Can you just talk a little bit about that?

Yeah, I would say, you know, so I have a lot about that. But let's. So first thing that comes up for me, you know, in Wilds, Feminine sexuality is actually a really small part of that book. And that was intentional because this part of the body has been so over sexualized so that it's the first thing people think of. Like when people hear that I work on the vagina and do vaginal massage and they have various nicknames for me like vagina whisper. And you know, they always come giggling with these things. And you know, it's because this part of the body is so overloaded already with sexuality. It's like, wow. And then so I always try to step back from that and say, first, this is a part of your body and it's powerful. Absolutely. But first, it's powerful for you in your connection to earth. And I think of it as the place where you bring spirit into form. So you have your spirit essence that comes down through the crown chakra and all the way down, by the time it gets to the root, you're walking on the earth. So you are translating your spirit into a body, into embodied forms, into being here, into what you're doing, you know, so that's what the root means to me. So the first thing, when people are having, when they come in and they're talking about sexuality and intimacy issues, the first thing I say is we need to get you fully in your body first. So we've got to get you down in that route on a routine basis. You need to be connected with it. We need to work with the blocks about why you're not there. And those can be layered and they can go beyond shame to actual trauma and other woundings and permission. And, you know, there's lots of layers in there, all beautiful and rich. But it's like, what is keeping you from being embodied. Let's pull that away first and get more and more connected to your body. And then once you're richly connected to your body and you're feeling and moving that energy, then you step into sexuality, intimacy. You know, it's like a next step. And so that's why in Wild Feminine, too, it's a fairly small section, because I want people to get a really strong, vibrant, rooted connection just with their own self before they start trying to bring that to a partner. So that's the first piece. And then the other thing is. And this is a part that I think is missing from women's health, really. Pleasure in sexuality and intimacy does. It is energetic and emotional. And that's one aspect. But there is also a physical fascial aspect. Like, when I say fascia, I mean the layer. There's like a sheath layer that runs through the body. In fact, Chris Northrup talked about this as Dr. Chris Northrup as being like the crystal layer. Like crystals. Like, it's very crystalline. So I think it's very sensitive to energy. Even though it's a physical layer, I almost think of it as the interface between the body and the energy. You know, it's like that layer that can get off balance from falls, from stress, from childbirth. When the baby comes down, there can be some stretching on that fascial layer, which then those things can add in and make it so a woman feels like kind of like her muscles don't engage quite right. She doesn't have as much libido, not as much flow, doesn't feel as sexual, doesn't feel orgasm as easily. And so there's a whole aspect of the myofascial work that can help align that back into a more optimal form that then women feel better, they have better sex, they have better orgasms, they feel more flow. And so, you know, that's another aspect that's really missing from women's health is the understanding of the physical medicine and then the physical energetic interface. And that's something I do a lot with women. So I've helped many, many women also have better sexual pleasure or who've lost it for some reason. Maybe they've gone through a cancer treatment, or maybe they've had a surgery or a fall or an accident, or they've had given birth. And in Mothering from youm Center, I have a whole chapter on how we can do more bodywork to help women feel better after birthing babies. Because I think that that's so essential. And I tell a story of a friend that I asked permission where she came in. She said, I feel like my vagina is broken. She had her second baby, and she said, I cannot have any orgasms. What's going. And so. And people will say, oh, well, you had babies. Maybe that's just how it is. Or your hormones or whatnot. Whenever someone says that it shouldn't fall off the wagon after you have a baby, it should. You do have Mother Nature's birth control, which keeps pleasure a little bit dampened because you're nursing and it's, you know, trying to keep you from getting pregnant. But these are all the good secrets of the pelvic bowl. But it shouldn't stop. It shouldn't go flat. And when it goes flat, that's a sign that there's a fascial imbalance going on, too. So what's really fun is in just one or two sessions, I can help women with this, where I'm actually doing. It's like a craniosacral treatment where I'm working with the fascia and it just kind of realigns everything. And then all of a sudden, they feel like, wow, I can squeeze those muscles again. I'm feeling a little bit more invitation for pleasure. I'm actually looking at my partner and kind of interested. I'm feeling less pain. I'm actually feeling pleasure now. And so my friend who I write about this in Mother and From youm center, she texted me. I said, well, you have to take it out for a test spin. You know, let me know how things are. And she texted me, but she didn't put her name. And I didn't. She. She said, I took it out. I took that car out for a test spin, and I had four orgasms. And I was like, wow, what kind of car is that? I want one of those. And not her room. But took me a minute to put the pieces together. So, yeah, that's hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. So. So there's a lot of pieces in that. But I want physical. I'm training providers now. That's another part of the practice that I do. So I have my own practice that I love. I've written books so that women can have more information about how to really take advantage of this beautiful space that they have in their body. And then I actually developed holistic pelvic care, which is my own practice of care. So it started with women's health physical therapy, which was more like trigger point release. And then I have studied a Lot of different bodywork techniques. And so what I really have created is like a myofascial for those bodyworkers out there. It's a myofascial practice that works on the whole balance of the pelvic bowl, and that's what's called holistic pelvic care. So it's what I do. But I very quickly have realized too, that there's not enough of me for all the women who would want this potentially. And so I've started trainings and I'm teaching providers now. Just two weeks ago, I had a training with people from four directions all around. For this person came from Australia, and it is so satisfying. So they're chiropractors, naturopaths, nurses, doctors, physical therapists, Chinese medicine practitioners. And I'm giving them. So they're already women's health people, but I'm giving them these tools where they can then help women with so many things. And then I'm getting the feedback back. So not only do I get to gather with these amazing providers and teach them about this. This practice that can really align and help women for so many things, then they're going out and they're helping women. And it just is so. Makes me really happy to think about all these happy roots. I love that. Happy roots.

And I really love how you and appreciate how you bring or you, like, take the sexuality, like, back a little bit, you know, because I know even for me, there's like, that area has just been. It's just like sex. And now that I've given birth, you know, it's now that. But to really. I love that, you know, you can see a massage therapist or a chiropractor and they can help you with your root in these beautiful myofascial ways. And then also just the emotional releases, too. It's amazing.

Yeah, it is amazing. And I think the practitioners, when we sit together and they watch me work, or when you get a group of women together, it amplifies everything. So even things have gone beyond where I could have imagined the changes that are happening when we do this work with this kind of intention ascension. We're really harnessing this potential in the female body, which, of course, it creates life. So I think maybe we should really recognize what a miracle it is and what a miraculous energy center we have in our own bodies. And then it can do so much. There's so much healing potential that can come through there. There's so much raw, creative energy that can just, you know, create so much beauty for a woman. And Help her in so many ways. Help her heal, help her create, help align with the life that she wants. I'm blown away. I've yet to not be amazed by when I'm witnessing and seeing, and so I only expect that it will continue.

Fantastic. Okay, so I have one more question, then we'll wrap up.

What?

Hearing all of this, right? I'm like, oh, my gosh. Every woman does. Why wouldn't every woman want this? You know? What do you think stops women from jumping from diving into the wild, feminine pelvic bowl?

Oh, yeah. Okay. That's a good one. Well, this goes back to pleasure. I think one of the biggest challenges and yet potent places I think, to do work is really allowing ourselves to fully immerse and receive our pleasure. I think that there's almost a fear of, wow, what would it look like if I. You know, it's easier sometimes to get on the work and just feel like I'm just gonna work really hard and I'm gonna be productive, and I'm gonna feel my value in that. I'm gonna know I'm valuable because I can work hard. But if we switch gears and we come to this place where it's like, yes, you can have your pleasure. Yes, you can access this potential and begin to really move and shift and shake things up, I think that can be kind of terrifying on some level. You know, the permission to get that big, get that wild, get that expansive, get that. That creative, that. That engaged, that connected, you know, unless you were given that, it can feel like a lot of energy to handle, you know, unless that was your birthright. It is your birthright, but if you learned to tamp it down and box it up, live with it in a smaller framework, then that can feel really, really wild, letting that out. And so I think I always encourage women that when you do feel that some of the women will see me over time who I've helped with through various things, and one woman said it perfectly. She said, I feel really, like, this great flow in my center, and I'm feeling really vibrant. And I also feel really like I'm at my edge of comfort with that too. Like, I can feel this restriction in my own self. And I said, oh, exactly. You're at another creative edge. You're at a new edge where, you know, it's uncomfortable to start expanding beyond what felt comfortable. But that's when you know you're really getting into good territory. So I encourage women to kind of know that so that it doesn't stop them, so they can go, oh, right. That was a set point that had limitations. That was there. But I don't need to hold myself back. I can recognize it and I can feel it, and then I can keep going and see what that feels like. And it does feel vulnerable. But, you know, I think ultimately it also feels really good to start inhabiting that more full range.

Awesome. Yes. I mean, I personally have those edges. I just look at my life as well. You know, there's. I'm like, oh, that was a creative edge. That was an edge for me to do this. And now I'm at my own edge in a whole different way.

Exactly. And I think if we can even name it, then it's like, oh, right, there's that signpost again that I'm going further. And. Okay. I've done it before, and I know that when I expand into this territory, it does feel uncomfortable. It's like birth. Right. You're expanding and it feels uncomfortable. But you know that you're going for what you're wanting. You're ultimately going for that new creative capacity, whatever that is, and then recognizing that signpost and going, oh, right, That's a sign that I'm actually doing good work. Yeah, I'm gonna keep going. Yeah.

That is fantastic. It's just like you said earlier, too, just being alive, which is what I want. I think that's what all women want, is we want that aliveness, that juiciness.

Yeah. And it's in every single woman to an infinite potential.

Delicious. Okay, so share where we can find more about you and your work and your books and all of that goodness.

Great. So wildfeminine.com is where you can find me. And I have a newsletter sign up there. My books are at any bookstore. You can order them online. Wild Feminine Mothering from youm Center. And there'll be one more coming out next fall that'll be all about creative energy that I'm really excited about.

Oh, nice. Exciting. Well, I'll look forward to buying that one as well.

Thank you.

Cool. Well, thank you so much for sharing your incredible wisdom, your book, and your powerful, powerful work.

Thank you so much, Alexandra. Thank you for setting up this stage and having this conversation and giving more people permission to step into that pleasure and that beauty that they are.

Thank you. We hope you enjoyed this episode of Mama Goddess. Sending you lots of love and blessings. If you'd like to connect more, go to mamagoddess.com until next time, keep rocking it and have an awesome day.