Gregor Ojstersek argues empathy is a non-technical skill that separates good engineers from great ones. It helps you collaborate better, build products people actually need, and write code others can understand. He learned this moving from individual contributor to CTO through freelance work and mentoring.
No matter if you're an engineer or a manager, empathy is and will be one of the key skills in the engineering industry. It has helped me a lot to grow in my career from engineer all the way to CTO. But empathy has nothing to do with tech skills, you may ask. Well, we will break down how important empathy is in this video. So I wasn't the most empathic person when I started my career as engineer. I always had a good feel for people in general, But with empathy, I needed to develop it over the years, and I've developed empathy with practice, and a lot of it was due to freelance projects. I finished a lot of projects where I needed to find the right solution for the client, and also I've developed empathy with advising, consulting, and also coaching and mentoring. And a lot of the empathy also came because I grew from engineer to a manager, making the transition from being an IC to being a manager, focusing on uplifting and also empowering others, it kind of became necessary for me to be successful in the role. Being empathic became the number one thing that I needed to do in order to, to become a successful manager. So why is empathy such a superpower in the engineering industry? Well, there are many reasons for that, and they all boil down to these three points. The first one is that engineering is one of the most collaborative fields out there. You can have technically amazing engineers in the team, but if they don't collaborate effectively, unfortunately, it won't mean much. Engineers with great empathy are able to build good relationships with their colleagues and collaborate effectively with each other. The second one is that we are always building something for someone. Everything that we build is and will be used by someone, by our users, by, by fellow engineers. With empathy, we are putting ourselves in the shoes of our users and make making sure that we are building the right things for them. So without empathy, unfortunately, the focus is too much on technologies and not solving the actual problems, and we are not building the right things for our users. And the third reason is that we write not just for ourselves but also for others. We are writing code, documentation, we are finishing tasks, we are writing tests, we are writing messages, emails. The goal is to write in a way that others can quickly understand it. If you can do that, then your empathy is, is on a good level. So now that we know why empathy is, is very important, let's focus next on how to develop it. So some people may have an advantage due to their background or experience when it comes to empathy. But the good thing is that it can be developed. And my number one recommendation is to just practice, practice, and more practice. Listen closely, try to feel what, what others feel, uh, try to observe their reactions. Anytime you're talking with someone, try to do all of the things I mentioned. Try to really put yourselves in the shoes. The second thing is be someone that you would love to work with. You can't go wrong if you always have this in mind. Every action that you do, every decision that you make, think about how it would feel if you were on other side. Understand people in general, different cultures, different kind of motivators, behaviors, etc. There are many books on this topic that can give you more insights on this. And here are some that I found to be really great to read. So the first one is Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman. The second one is The Art of Empathy by Carla McLaren. The third one is How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. And the last one, but not least, is Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck. And of course, I need to mention 3 things that helped me the most. And the first one is do freelance projects for non-technical clients. You need to really understand the motivation and the problem behind their ask if you wish to create the right solution. Just jumping straight into code after the first requirements will in 99% result in a wrong solution. The second one is coaching and mentoring. A lot of people may think that this only helps the person that you are coaching or mentoring, but in reality it helps you to develop the necessary skills needed to help effectively. Being able to put yourself in their shoes, offer guidance, and also of course active listening. And the last one, consulting and advising. Similar principle to doing freelance projects. You need to really understand the problem and the motivation behind the specific thing. That's how you can actually map the right solution to it. A lot of times the solution is actually hidden inside of a lot of layers. And yeah, those are very, very important to, to do if you want to develop empathy. If you wish to learn more, you can subscribe to my newsletter. It's called Engineering Leadership, where I share similar tips and advice on how to be a great engineering leader. There are more than 100,000 people already reading it, and I publish, uh, 2 new articles every week. I'm curious to hear, uh, what may have worked for you to develop empathy. Make sure to share it in the comments. Thanks a lot for watching, and I'll see you on the next one.
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