Overcoming Betrayal, Addiction, and Self-Doubt to Build the Life I Deserve

I didn't trust people, I didn't love people, I didn't love myself and I didn't ever feel like I had anyone to turn to. I was the third of three children. My brothers were about 6 and 8 years, are about 6 and 8 years older than me. And my, my oldest brother, I have so much love and compassion for him today. And he struggled his whole life with severe addiction. Was actually arrested for threatening to kill me when I was 10 and taken to jail. And there was a lot of guilt there. I remember the look in his eyes when he was put in the police car. So there was just a lot of, a lot of pain and I just felt worthless. And he was just struggling. You know, he, he, it wasn't about me. And I, I learned that later in life we were all just doing the best we could. But also that same year my other brother had a friend who was 18. And he was the first person in my life that showed me any like, good attention, positive attention and you know, he was sexually inappropriate with me. And so my perception and relationship with just people, I guess in general was always very complicated. There was a time in my life for many years where I felt completely stuck, broken, miserable, alone and hopeless. And I didn't see a way out. Now today I have thriving businesses. I have been on this journey of transformation and I want to share that journey with you. And I want to help as many people as possible in my lifetime achieve their highest human potential in all areas of life, financially, physically, mentally, spiritually and relationally. So that's what I'm passionate about. Welcome to my channel. I'm the host of the Hannah Hammond show where I'll be sharing my journey to self actualization and interviewing the most amazing people out there. And I'm also the CEO and founder of the firm re, a commercial residential real estate brokerage and HB Capital, which raises capital from investors and lends to real estate investors for short term bridge financing across the country. So thank you for being here today. I hope to hear your story as well. And let's grow together. Welcome to the Hannah Hammond Show. Today I'm going to share something that's deeply personal to me. It's my journey and my story. This is the journey that's brought me here today. It shaped who I am and it fuels the work that I do every single day. For many years of my life, I was broken. I was deeply insecure. I had so much hate for myself. I had no genuine relationships. I struggled from severe mental and physical problems, from chronic back pain to crippling anxiety and depression. And I'm going to share, go into a little bit about what my childhood was like and then my journey to success in business and then still realizing that I had a lack of fulfillment in my life and felt very disconnected and struggled with a lot of addiction issues as well. So my story is a story of transformation and I'm on that journey today. And my mission is to be able to share my journey of transformation with the world and help others with the suffering that they may be going through and show everyone that it is possible to, to really, truly create the life that you want. And it doesn't matter where you came from, it doesn't matter what your history is, what your family life is like, what your, whether you're raised in a wealthy household or a not wealthy household, what your ethnicity is, anything is truly possible, especially in this country that we live in. And it's all a mental game appear. And unfortunately society doesn't teach us the things that really help us be connected and whole and healed and fulfilled and creative and loving individuals. You know, the things that we learn in school don't really teach us much. It's a decent foundation for normal life skills, but other than that, it doesn't teach us much about business or financial wealth and definitely not about mental and emotional health. And the medical system here in the US is very, very flawed. You know, we're poisoned by big food and big pharma. That was a story for me when I was really struggling as a kid. I was put on multiple medications and I struggled with eating disorders my whole life and still do today. Being chubby as a kid due to the really unhealthy food that's provided to American citizens, especially in the lower income families. The earliest memory I have was when I was 6 years old and I loved food. I was already addicted to food. It was my emotional support and I just love it in general. And I really. My dad used to kind of sneak away to McDonald's to get himself like fries or burger or something like that. And I really, really, really wanted an Oreo McFlurry and he wouldn't buy it for me. He said we couldn't afford it, we didn't have any money. And if I wanted an ice cream, he would get me one, but it had to be the 69 cent vanilla cone. And I remember looking at his eyes and I told him I hated him and I told him I was going to be a millionaire so I could buy myself McFlurry someday. And so that was a very pivotal moment for me because from six or seven years old, I dedicated my whole life to building freedom and having freedom. And because my family didn't have a lot of money. And the conversation was always about money. We don't have money. We need more money. We can't have this. You can't have that. Or just tension and arguing about money all the time. I was like, nobody's coming to save me. Nobody's going to take care of me. I need to make money. I need to have an abundance of money. And all I'm going to dedicate my life to is trying to figure that out. So paired with, like, abandonment issues from my dad, who worked at a pawn shop making minimum wage and still works at that pawn shop today in the West Valley in Phoenix, who. I have compassion for him and love him, but he wasn't there to support his family like a family needs to be supported. And him and my mom had a very challenging, difficult relationship. My dad was working all the time and had a long commute, so we didn't really see him much anyway. And when we did see him, it was a lot of fighting. He would turn the air conditioning up really high to try to save money. So I remember being really, really hot in the house. We live in Phoenix. It's 120 degrees in the summer. In the winter, I remember being really, really cold because he wouldn't like to turn the heat up to save money. He wouldn't like to turn the lights on. If you tried to turn a fan on, he would turn the fan off. And then he would tell you that he didn't touch anything, which is a lot of narcissistic and kind of like manipulative and lying behaviors, which was difficult for a child to be raised around. And then my. My sweet mother did the absolute best she could and loved me very much. But she, too, was suffering, and she didn't have money and she didn't have love, and she was abandoned by her father. And she, you know, had a lot of difficult things that she carried into our household unknowingly. But she tried so, so hard to. To give us kids the life that we wanted, although it, you know, she did the best she could. And then another dynamic was I was the third of three children. My brothers were about 6 and 8 years, are about 6 and 8 years older than me. And my. My oldest brother, I have so much love and compassion for him today. And he struggled his whole life with severe addiction issues from a very young age. And I can 100 see why? But when I was very young, he, he was very traumatizing to me and he would throw me to the ground and say, tip a cow and grab, you know, grab my fat all over my body and twist it really hard and leave bruises on my body. And he would call me really bad names. He was actually arrested for threatening to kill me when I was 10 and taken to jail. And there was a lot of guilt there that my mom felt and I felt. I remember, I remember the look in his eyes when he was put in the police car. So there was just a lot of, a lot of pain. And I had severe anxiety for as long as I could remember and chronic back pain from the time I was really young. And I just felt, I just felt really alone. And I felt really unworthy and I just felt worthless. And so. The way I was able to cope was by overachievement. And from, from kindergarten all the way through engineering school and college, I was always the top of my class. I had pr. I have, I still have a stack of principles lists today, which in Arizona that just means you have like straight A's. And so that's where I really was able to find a sense of self worth and value and accomplishment. And it also served as a way for me to escape my reality. And if I wasn't working towards something or studying for my exam or accomplishing in school, then I was, I was in a really painful place. I was miserable and I was dying inside. And so I became obsessed with that. And I, I read Rich Dad, Poor dad when I was 13 years old. And I mean, I back up before that a little bit. So my brother threatened to kill me When I was 10, my mother called the police to protect me and he was taken to jail. And she didn't want them to take him to jail. She just wanted him to not kill me. But they had to take him to jail because it was abuse, right? And so there was a lot of guilt there from, from both my mom and me, and a lot of betrayal. I'm sure my brother felt as well. And he was just struggling, you know, he. It wasn't about me. And I, I learned that later in life. We were all just doing the best we could. But also that same year, my other brother had a friend who was 18. And no, I think it was about a year. I think it was about 11. He's maybe 11 or right around there. And he was the first person in my life that showed me any, like, good attention, positive attention. And you know, he was sexually inappropriate with me. And so my perception and relationship with men in particular and women, just people, I guess, in general, was always very complicated. And it was always just very complicated and challenging. And I didn't trust people, I didn't love people, I didn't love myself. And I didn't ever feel like I had anyone to turn to or anyone to help or ask the questions to. And I struggled a lot with religion because at the time, my mom and dad were very, very religious people. They still are today. And I felt like God never came. I prayed a lot to God and I went to church for a while as a young kid, but I felt like God never came and God never answered and God never presented himself to me. So I began to hate God very much so. And which made me feel even more alone and isolated because it's like, if I don't even have God, then who the fuck do I have, you know? So when I became. When I started high school, I started to learn, you know, social media started to become a thing and caring about how you look was a thing, and boys became a thing and all of that. And so I was so tired of being made fun of for being fat that I went. I started dieting and I went to the doctor to get prescribed Adderall to help suppress my appetite, which had severe neurotic effects on me. Severe anxiety added to my anxiety, added to my depression, made me very, very isolated, destroyed my personality. Like normally, you know. You know me now, I'm a very outgoing, happy, bubbly person. But Adderall took all that away. It made me completely in my head, completely in my body, completely anxious and isolated. And then I started starving myself. And therefore I isolated from many friends and going out to dinners or birthdays or parties or things like that, parties that involve food. I would only go to the parties that involve drugs. And I just work, you know, school, school, school, school. And at 13 years old, I read Rich Dad, Poor dad by Robert Kiyosaki, who is always been a hero of mine and is now a dear friend today. Any of those, any of you who follow me know that I. I spent a lot of time with him. But that book changed my life. And that book is what was a pivotal moment for me to decide I was going to be an. A real estate investor and I was going to be a business owner, and I was never going to be a slave to the system and that I. It was important to mind my own business and have control over my business and over my life and over my wealth and be Able to literally create a life that I always wanted. Because it's very hard to build wealth if you're working a W2. It's, the system isn't built for it. And it's very hard to have a beautiful, fulfilled, balanced life if you're working a normal W2 because you're a lot of times overworked and underpaid and you're building somebody else's dream life and there's no tax strategy around it. So half of the money goes away to the government and all of these flawed systems. And so that book and Robert, I will hold close to my heart forever. And if anyone hasn't read Rich Dad, Poor dad or Rich Dad's Guide to Investing, please drop everything right now and read that book. It'll change your life. And he's changed 40 million people's lives on how they view money. And it taught me assets versus liabilities and the importance of acquiring assets that put money in your pocket and not acquiring liabilities that take money out of your pocket. And I decided from that day I was going to be a business owner and real estate investor. So I worked really hard in, in high school because I still wanted to go to college because I was the first in my family to get a college degree and I didn't have a college fund. So I ultimately grew up, graduated with a merit scholarship, applied to ASU because it, I didn't have the money to go out of state and I wanted to just get my real estate license right away in Arizona and so got a full ride scholarship. And I, I, I picked engineering school because the counselor said that that's what would pay the most amount of money in the least amount of time. Because I didn't, I was like, I don't have, you know, enough money to get a doctorate degree, nor do I want to because I knew I was going to be an entrepreneur. So I was like, I'll do a four year degree in three years. Graduated early. I graduated summa cum laude with, I think it was 3.95 or something, summa cum laude, close to a 4.0 GPA. And I wanted to still check corporate America off the box because I had this book that told me not to do corporate America, go build my own businesses. But I still had this fear and I had everything else in the world telling me, go get a job, you know, save money, get a job, go to school, do that. And so I'm really glad I did. I ended up getting offered a job for engineering at cat, which is a big you know, the global mining engineering and construction company and they were doing $1 billion a year in sales. And so I really learned how to build a business, how to run a business, and how a large scale operation is running. And most importantly, I learned that I didn't want to be in corporate America. And I, before I got that job, going back a few years, on my 18th birthday, I signed up for real estate school. I got my real estate license and I just was planning to be a real estate investor. I never planned to be a real estate agent. I don't know, maybe I had too much of an ego or a stigma around. Like agents are just what people do when they don't have anything else to do type thing, which is so not true. There's a bunch of amazing, incredible agents, but there's also 100,000 agents in Arizona that just hang their license and they don't ever do a deal. So I asked a broker at my office if I could hold one of his listings open. And it was just a house that was really close to the patio home that I was living in with my mom at the time. Because my mom and dad split up right when I turned 18. And so my mom and I moved into this little patio home by asu and I held that house open in the middle of summer. It was worth, I think $200,000. And this was over 10 years ago now. One person showed up in the open house and it was the neighbor, which in real estate we call those the nosy neighbors. And I just built a relationship with him and I listened to him and he talked about the chemtrails in the sky and he talked about his traumatic divorce or, you know, baby mama situation. And I just listened to him and look, you know, respected him and saw him. And I don't think he'd ever been seen either. And he ended up listing a 1.1 million dollar commercial property with me like within a week or two. And my brokerage told me, you can't do the listing. We can't do commercial. You, you don't know what you're doing, you have to refer it out to someone else. And I, you know, still did the Hannah way. And so, nope, I got this, I'm going to do it. They also told me that it wasn't worth a penny over $400,000 and he wanted 1.1 million. So I knew I was only going to get a listing if I listed it for 1.1 million. And I saw the value in it, not in its current use. It was land. But I saw the value and its potential if someone built multifamily apartments on it or anything like that. And so I listed the property. I think I had it under contract in two weeks for full price, and closed the property. He ended up doing a 1031 exchange, which is where you sell a property. And to defer your capital gains tax, you can buy another investment property. And he wanted. I help. I helped him find a luxury home up in Tru, which is a really nice area in Scottsdale, Arizona. And that was another million dollar sale. And I helped him get that set up as a furnished Airbnb rental. This is right when airbnbs were kind of becoming a thing. And so I had the commercial experience, the luxury experience. I made $72,000 from those two sales. And I was. By the time both of those were closed, I think I was just turning 19 or right around 19. And I remember that first check I picked up from the office. It was the most significant amount of money I had made. I was 18 years old, and I was sitting in my. I had this little Mustang car, and I was sitting in my Mustang, and I looked at the check and I just had this huge rush of dopamine and joy. That feeling, I don't know, of severe joy inside of my chest. I don't know if I felt that any other time before then, other than when I convinced my wonderful mom to cash out my $3,000 college fund that my grandfather left me, or $4,000 and let me buy a slaughterhouse rescue horse. That was that same feeling of joy. But that joy I celebrated alone because I had nobody else around. And I looked at the check, and it was immediately followed by anxiety and fear. And now what do I do? How do I make more? How do I invest it? How do I buy property? How do I build a business? How do I do all of this stuff? And I've. Right around that time, I read the book Relentless by Tim Grover. And that book was the first book where I really felt like someone understood me in my life. And he talks about that feeling of joy that is then followed by anxiety and fear and like, what's next? Now I got to do bigger and better things. And that was me. And so I had that check, but I still had this feeling of panic and not fulfillment and fear inside of me. So I was like, okay, I just got to make more money. That's the answer. So I use that money. I invested in my first property. I renovated that property. I, you know, moved out of living with my mom. And moved into that property and then was selling some real estate here and there while I went to school in college. And also when I became an engineer, I was still selling real estate on the side. And I was making more money selling real estate than I was with a high paying engineering job. And that was like the best job you could get out of school. And I was making, you know, really great money. So that's how I got started in my entrepreneurial endeavors. And my real estate career was right from 18 years old. And a continuous pattern was every time I hit another financial goal I would be really excited and then it would be continuously followed up by I need more, you know. And so the answer, the easy answer for me was always just set a bigger goal, go work harder, go build more. And I became a self made millionaire by 25, which as a kid that was. I remember, I remember a moment when me and my oldest brother were fighting and he told me I would never amount to anything. And he said the rich get richer and the poor get poorer and you're never going to amount to anything. And I told him I'm going to be a millionaire by the time I'm 30. And so I hit that goal at 25 and I was super excited about it. But shocker, I was still anxious, depressed, unfulfilled, unworthy and lost. And what did I do? I set a bigger goal. Right around that time is when I opened up my real estate brokerage called the firm re, which is a commercial and residential real estate brokerage here in Arizona. And I also started lending my own capital to private money lender or to real estate investors. Because when I was younger doing real estate investments, it was hard for me to get loans because I didn't have a traditional job. I was an entrepreneur, I was really young, I didn't have a lot big credit history. And so I learned about private money lending and I would use private money to buy my real estate deals. And then at 25 years old, I started lending my own money after learning kind of the ropes of how it worked from one of my private money lenders. And I love that side of the business. Being the bank is amazing. It was just overachievement in school and then numb out the pain whenever I'm not in school. And my very first boyfriend when I was 15 years old wasn't a great experience. Shocker because my, what I expected from men was pretty minimal because of the men that I had in my life and just a series of, of shameful kind of things. And my body was very much used as an object for a lot of my life. And still today, I mean, I. I struggle with being objectified and being sexualized and, you know, I guess some would say that I ask for it because I try to be beautiful because I'm so insecure. Like, I get my hair done and I do my makeup and I'm put together and all those things. And so it's. It could be perceived as like, oh, I'm. I'm trying to be viewed as a sex object or something like that. But in all reality is like, I just want to be loved. And I've always just wanted to be loved, and I want to love myself, and I struggle to love myself. And so I've realized I'm never going to have a healthy relationship until I love myself and until I heal and until I'm a whole and connected person. And after a series of very narcissistic relationships when I was 21, I ended up moving in with a person that I dated. He was the first real relationship, serious relationship out of high school. And I had. There was severe betrayal, emotional abuse, and a lot of issues there, isolation. And, you know, after I moved in with him, I found out that he was addicted to cocaine and an alcoholic and just a drug addict in all areas. He was previously with a stripper for many years, but that was his baby mama or something. He loved strip clubs. He would ask me to go to strip clubs with him. He was, you know, I learned some things about him like, that were really, really bad that he had done to people. I found a kilo of cocaine in our house. I. But he was all I had. I had nobody else. And he was 20 years older than me. And I looked up to him and I was 20 and lost. And he showed me a lot of love in the beginning. It was the only kind of love I'd ever really seen from a man. And so I didn't know any different. And I started doing cocaine. I started doing ecstasy. I started drinking a lot. I did a lot of things that I'm not proud of in. In that space of. Of drugs and alcohol. And I continued to be. Be betrayed by him and found out he was a felon and found out he didn't ever go to school, which is no big deal, but he lied about it. And just a lot of. Lot of really dangerous things for me in my life. And I. He was putting my life in jeopardy. I. I was too. I was making my own decisions, but I didn't realize the kind of risk that I Was in. And I realized that if I stayed with him, I was going to be an addict and I was going to die. And I would probably be, you know, I was either going to die, I was going to go to prison or be a severe addict for the rest of my life. So I made it out of that relationship, went into a. A little bit better of a relationship. I actually bought a one way ticket to Maui, changed my number and everything. Trying to escape the world, thinking that all my problems were just in Arizona. And it turns out wherever you go, you go with you. And so I brought my problems with me to Maui. And I was living in this paradise and I was just as depressed and miserable and alone as I'd ever been. And over the course of a few more years, I continued to attract the same types of men, narcissistic men and manipulative and controlling and never built strong female relationships or friendships and continue to be a workaholic and continue to be disconnected. And then I moved back. I moved back to Arizona during COVID and that's when I started my three construction companies. So I started three construction companies. I had a business partner. I built those up really quickly. That was another issue of betrayal and lying and all that stuff from the business partner. But I learned a lot, and I learned a lot of what not to do in business and a lot of what to do in business. And we had anywhere from, you know, 50 to 100 employees at a time with the roofing company, the glass company, the general construction company. We were doing commercial renovations and renov. Residential renovations. And my stepdad worked for me and that was absolutely miserable. Don't ever work with family. But I, yeah, learned a lot from the construction field. But ultimately I was so, so miserable that I had to get out of it and I had to walk away. And I ended up just walking away from the. The whole situation and. But I'm really grateful for it because it taught me a lot about entrepreneurship and actually how to build a business and what operating agreements were and how to hire attorneys and how to do payroll and, you know, how to build an organizational structure and how to market, how to sell all these things beyond just kind of my solopreneurship and investing journey that I had been on up until that point. And so this was in. Yeah, so I was right around 24, I think, when I was running those companies. And then at 25 is when I stepped out of those companies. And then I started the real estate brokerage, the firm. And I started lending my money, which was A company that I called Cash and it was a private lending company. Now it's HP Capital. By that time I was financially free. I had enough rental properties and income coming in where I wouldn't technically, I don't, don't technically need to work ever again in my life if I don't want to. And you know, not an insane amount of money, but definitely enough to cover my bills and expenses and live a nice American life and not have to work, which is amazing. That's what I was, that was my whole goal after reading Rich Dad, Poor dad was to have freedom in my life. And, but again, the common theme is I was still empty and miserable and broken and disconnected and realized that I was addicted still. And I wasn't doing, I was still smoking weed daily. I wasn't doing any hard drugs like I had in the past, but I was a work addict, work addict, weed pot addict and a relationship addict. I, I was never single for more than a week between relationships. And I'm not talking like just going on a date. I'm talking about committed relationships. Like the next person that scooped me up, I was moving in with them quickly. We were talking about marriage and all of these things. Even though I was always terrified of marriage and terrified of that sort of commitment and never wanted to have kids because I was, my perception of marriage and children was a nightmare. And I never had trusted a man enough to ever trust that we would be together forever or trust that they wouldn't betray me. And I didn't love myself enough to ever want to reproduce, you know, so there was all these very deep rooted challenges that I struggle with. And by the age of 28, I was officially a self made millionaire and was able to continue to grow my, my businesses and my success pretty exponentially in the past, really year has been a huge, huge growth for me financially. Not only financially, but spiritually, mentally, physically and relationally, which is what my mission is for my life and for the show is I'm on a journey to self actualization and self realization and realizing my highest human potential in all areas of life. Business and money is a piece of that, but it is, it is a means to freedom and it is a way to help other people. But by no means does just because you have money financially mean that you're a successful person. And I want to be, I want to achieve my highest human potential in not only business, but, but in my relationships, in my spirituality, in my wellness and health, and truly experience life to the fullest and know that I lived an Incredible life filled with happiness and creation and purpose and joy and fulfillment. And I want to help other people do the same because so many people are suffering, and maybe they don't even know that they are because they're so disconnected. And that's how I lived. For a long time. I didn't really know I had trauma. I didn't know I had immense suffering or pain inside of me until I continued to realize that nothing was fulfilling me. No goal I hit was filling that hole inside of me or the many holes inside of me. And at 20 years old, about eight, yeah, 19 to 20 years old, I was suicidal. And I lived alone, was very isolated. I was in college, but I didn't go to class. I was in college, but I didn't go to class. I would just show up for exams and then leave. So I had no friends and I had my. In high school, I was anorexic. It has severe, you know, eating disorder. And then eventually my body was shutting down. And so I developed a disorder where I would sleep, eat and binge eat in my sleep, literally and eat thousands of calories. And so then I started gaining a ton of weight and my metabolism is destroyed. And I'm still trying to heal the metabolism, but the binge eating disorder caused so much further isolation because then it was all the negative self talk again. Like, you're fat, you're ugly, you're a piece of shit. Why can't you control your behaviors? You're disgusting. Like, all this negative self talk that I had in my head and caused me to isolate and I didn't see a way out. And I would try to make myself throw up, but I could never make myself throw up. And so then I would just be. I would just be this, you know, horrible. I would be in this environment that was just horrible and isolated, and I'm just binge eating food and then trying to fast to overcompensate for it, and then trying to make myself sick and just destroying my body. And I hated myself so much, I didn't see a way out. And I just wanted to die. And I didn't have a. I didn't, I didn't. I didn't have an easy way to do it. And if. If suicide wasn't such a mess, I probably would have. But I was such a people pleaser. I didn't want to leave a mess for other people, you know. And so anyway, I was able to get out of that situation. But by the time I was 25, I'm like, I can't live like this anymore. And I. That's. That's the point where I sought help and I got on antidepressants. And that absolutely changed my life. And it could cut the anxiety just enough for me to start exercising and help a little bit, reduce the binge eating, at least binge on a little bit healthier foods that made my body feel better, start really flourishing in my businesses and not just staying behind the scenes, but going out and building relationships and connecting with people and starting to build trust in people and love people and be around good people and realize that not everybody was a horrible human being that was going to betray me and use me. And so the. The Wellbutrin was a huge catalyst for me to be able to get out of that suicidal, very depressive state and start to become healthier inside. But I still was me, you know, I. It was a mask. It helped the symptoms, but I didn't. I wasn't treating the cause. And I didn't want to be on antidepressants. I had a stigma around them just like everyone else. I remember my friend had told me she was the most beautiful person ever, and she had told that she was on antidepressants. And I judged her for it internally. I was like, you know, and I didn't want to be somebody that was on antidepressants. I had that stigma around it. And then I got on them and I realized, oh, my gosh, now I kind of feel like the me that I am, I just have this. This shell taken on me, you know, this weight lifted off of me so I can actually be the person I am. It didn't really change my identity or my personality at all. It just kind of took that anxiety weight off of me, but I still wanted to get off of them, you know, So I wanted to start the healing work in that journey. And so I became a multimillionaire by 28. I'm almost 29 now, and this past year has been one of extraordinary transformation, which is why I'm here today on the show. And I started therapy. I started lots of physical activity, hired a personal trainer, cold plunge, sauna. I started doing breathwork. I started doing meditation. I started reading personal development books instead of just business books on how to make more money, because I realized making more money isn't bringing me any more fulfillment. I love it. It's great. I love business, but this is my priority now. And I joined Genius Network, owned by Joe Polish, and he teaches about the opposite of addiction is recovery. And he teaches a lot on Fulfillment and personal development and trauma. He introduced me to Dr. Gabor Mate, who now I study extensively, who is the one that really showed me how disconnected I was and how much trauma I have and start to kind of understand that trauma and not from a place to be a victim and not from a place to blame, but from a place to reconnect to all of that suppressed pain and be able to heal and to be able to process it and to be able to let it go and forgive and heal your relationship to self and heal your relationship to others. And so that's the journey that I've been on over the past year. And I never would have been on camera I growing up, if you took a picture of me, I would cry. I never thought I would be speaking on stages or having a podcast or anything like that. But the transformation has been so profound that I feel called to share it with the world. And I want to help others because it's a lot of work and there's a lot of pain and suffering out there and there's a lot of incredible resources out there, but you really have to seek them out and you really have to commit to your transformation and to your healing. Because I felt very lost growing up. I felt like I didn't have someone to reach out to, I didn't have someone to listen to, I didn't have a guide. And if I could help be that guide for other people as I share my own journey that I'm still on today, then that's what makes me feel fulfilled and that's what makes me feel whole and complete. And of course I'll still be running my businesses and doing my thing and building companies and investing in real estate and lending capital and investing, raising capital from investors and making them a bunch of money. And all those, those fun things that I'm super passionate about. And alongside that is helping people continue to be the best versions that they can be. Heal from any pain that they have and reach their highest human potential and help others do the same. And so that's truly what my mission is and my calling here on earth. And I mean from Joe Polish in the Genius Network to learning about addiction and learning about the pain that I had inside, to beginning a very dedicated meditation practice, very dedicated physical activity practice therapy. I think everybody needs a therapist. I have, I have three for different things. I have an addiction therapist, I have a relationship coach and I have a like trauma healing, heal. He's a healer, he's very well renowned Sam Karashi and he helps process it through the body, like, process trauma, stuck energy in your body and process and get that out so you don't get triggered like I got triggered telling you about that scene in the cop car. I need to process that one. So, ultimately, through my podcast and through the work that I'm doing, I just want to share my journey, hear all of your journeys out there, and help people unlock their highest potential and create a life that they truly love and they're truly fulfilled and coming from a place of creation and love and purpose. And if there's one thing I want anyone to take away from my story, it's that you are capable of so much and you can have it all. Maybe not all at once, because things are hard and there's always a price to pay for freedom. But you can and you should have a life where you are happy 90% of the time. 10% of the time. There's loss, there's sickness, there's death, there's problems, like, there's pain. But an A, 90 is an A. And if you can live your life knowing that you got an A and you were happy 90 of the time, that's a pretty damn good accomplishment. And I've met so many people that tell me that that's not realistic. And it is realistic. And I think that's the judge is like, my goals now are around happiness, and spreading happiness is, AM I happy 90% of the time. And part of that, you know, building businesses is part of that. And that makes. If that makes me happy, great. But if I start going down a hole where I'm very, very stressed or unfulfilled or whatever, in my business, I pivot immediately. And same with my relationships. If I. If we have a relationship and it's a relationship that's toxic and doesn't make me feel good and I don't make you feel good consistently most of the time, then I'm not going to stay in that relationship. And I don't think you should do that either. And there's, you know, it's a journey, and it's healing and it's work and it's compassion and it's empathy, and it takes a lot of time and energy and intention to have an incredible life and to have incredible relationships and incredible businesses and incredible health, but it is worth every single ounce of sacrifice and pain. And I wouldn't have my story any other way. I wouldn't change anything. I am so grateful for every little ounce of pain that I felt. I am grateful for the inner child that protected me, even though I hated her for so long. And I love my family so, so much. They're not perfect. I'm not perfect, and nobody is. But being able to finally forgive and see, like, we're all just doing the best we can out here, you know, and it's very, very free, freeing. So one of my favorite quotes that I want to share is by Steve Jobs. Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs and the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world are the ones who do. So, yeah, if my story resonates with you, then please reach out. Please follow. We'll have incredible people on the show. I'm on a mission to help as much humans as I, as many humans as I can on this planet to reach their highest potential. And please share your story with me because that makes me so happy. And I want to be a part of your journey as well. So thank you for listening to my story and please like and subscribe the Hannah Hammond show on YouTube and I'm Annab Hammond on all social accounts as well. So I appreciate you all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. And let's grow together.