⚠️ Sensitive topic: eating disorders. Please be mindful before watching..

I would wake up in the morning feeling so guilty for the night before, and I'd have the best of intentions. I'd always be like, okay, I can't do that again. I just have to restrict. Like, I'm gonna totally stop today. Like, every day I thought I was stopping and like, noon or 2 o' clock would hit, and I'd be like, this isn't healthy. I just need, like, half of a turkey sandwich. And then I'd have, like, one more thing. It could have been an M and M or a carrot. It did not matter what the extra thing was in my mind. That extra thing that I put in my mouth was like, I just blew it all. Now that's gonna go straight here. And so then it was like, well, scre. Yeah, I'm just saying, yes, I'm gonna eat more and then get rid of it again a couple hours later. I'd be like, I'm not gonna do that. I'm done. I'm done. And it's just every single time I was eating, I was triggered as if the coke addict was abstaining from coke. And they're like, okay, but I have to do one because it nourishes me. You can't just do one. And a food addiction truly was all consuming. It lasted until I was 25.