3 Ways Perfectionism Derails the Practice of LGBTQ Allyship & How Parents Can Show Up With Courage

12 Jun 2025 · 1 min

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Heather Hester explains how perfectionism stops parents from being good allies to LGBTQ kids. She argues that waiting to get it right before you act means never acting at all, and that stumbling through with courage matters more than getting every word perfect.

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We learn from those with lived experience. We make mistakes. We apologize. We grow. We don't expect ourselves or our kids to be perfect. So why do we expect perfection in our allyship? I used to think that I had to get it all right from the beginning. To learn it all before I spoke up or before I advocated. But there came a moment when I realized silence was no longer an option. I couldn't wait to speak until I learned it all, until I had everything. I was bursting with life experience and a deep, deep desire to help. So I started speaking even when I stumbled, and I stumbled a lot.