Episode 84: Just Breathe – Navigating the First Stage of Coming Out | More Human More Kind

29 Aug 2023 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

1:02

Heather Hester discusses the early internal stage of coming out for children, using the gender-affirmative model's framework of insistence, persistence, and consistency. She advises parents to wait for their child to come out rather than outing them, and emphasizes the emotional toll and need for education beyond individual therapy.

Chapters

We knew immediately after Connor came out that we needed some guidance and significant education outside of individual therapy. Reading and learning about the stages of coming out blew my mind. I was at once relieved, hopeful, and angry. In fact, these words— insistence, persistence, and consistence— are used in the gender-affirmative model, and I think they work really well for identity and orientation as well. This stage is internal, and you will likely have no idea that it is happening, especially if your child feels any fear or shame mixed into that. It will be hard, but it is vitally important that you wait for them to come out to you. Do not out them. This process is really, really important.