Navigating Trans Identity Advocacy and Fighting Misinformation | More Human More Kind

Today we're going to talk about why misinformation about trans and non-binary people is endangering lives and what allies must know right now.

Welcome to More Human, More Kind, the podcast helping parents of LGBTQ+ kids move from fear to fierce allyship and feel less alone and more informed so you can protect what matters, raise brave kids, and spark collective change. I'm Heather Hester. Let's get started. Welcome back. I am delighted that you are here. Since the beginning of the podcast, I have received questions almost 2 to 1 about gender over any other topic that I discuss. The mis and disinformation from the current administration has not only created more confusion and chaos, they have made it difficult and in some places just completely dangerous for transgender, non-binary, and gender expressive people to even exist. The timing is perfect for today's guest, my guest today, Rex Wilde. I am so delighted that you are here. Rex is a non-binary LGBTQ+ speaker, educator, and business consultant.

So welcome to the show.

I'm really looking forward to this conversation.

Thank you so much, Heather. I'm so happy to be here with you today.

So Rex and I were just discussing the wide range of topics that we could, could start with, talk about all of the things. I think we could probably make this a several-hour conversation, but I think let's just start with the basics. Who are you and how did you start doing this work that you're doing?

My name is Rex Wilde. I use they/them pronouns. And so I came out as non-binary over 10 years ago at this point. So I think it's been 11 years as of this past spring. And I have been doing LGBTQ educational work for really the greater part of 15 years at this point. Now I got my start in my undergrad. I studied sociology at Chapman University with an emphasis in critical race and gender studies. Um, and from that, my very first job was actually working, uh, in organizing specifically around the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. And so for over a year, I went door to door and had thousands of conversations with individuals across the US about employment protections for the LGBTQ community. And being able to have conversations with folks at that level and in so many different places in the US was really eye-opening of an experience and understanding the different thoughts and levels of acceptance and levels of misunderstanding that folks, one, have the greater— for the greater LGBT community, um, but specifically for trans, non-binary, and gender-expansive folks because Even at that time, I would have folks that would say, yes, I'm totally for employment protections for gay and lesbian folks, but not for transgender folks, right? And so through that work, you know, it led me to getting into nonprofit work, and I worked for a nonprofit called Trans Can Work in Los Angeles, and I was one of their first directors that helped to create their employment division where we worked directly with trans and gender-expansive job seekers, helping them to find employment opportunities., with inclusive employers. And then I also worked in our educational operation, working directly with organizations, corporations, and companies on helping them to cultivate and create trans-inclusive environments through education and policy. And so that really was the impetus of the work that I do now. I've now had a consultancy for the past 6 years working directly with organizations around their trans and gender expansive inclusion initiatives using what I call the 4 pillars of workplace inclusion. And so that just like gives a little bit of background on the work that I do and like how I got to be doing this work. And I think the other thing that I'll share is I'm originally from Orange County, which for those who may or may not be familiar with Orange County in Southern California, it's a pretty conservative place. I grew up in Huntington Beach, which I know especially through COVID and the pandemic, uh, became really popular, uh, in the news. And so growing up there as a queer person and, and as a trans and non-binary person, um, in a family where my mom is a pastor in the United Methodist Church and my dad and his family are actually from Laramie, Wyoming. And so grew up just in a very traditional and conservative environment where I didn't have exposure to LGBTQ community, really, and where that was definitely something that, even if it was accepted, was never talked about.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yes, I think that's a very common step, right? People say, well, I accept, but it's never discussed, right? So is that acceptance? I don't know. I knew some of those things about you, but I don't remember us discussing the fact that your mom was a United Methodist minister, which is so— I too grew up in the United Methodist Church, although my grandfather was a Church of God minister, but certainly understand that, that upbringing and the type of information that you are aware of and not aware of, right? And, you know, exposed to and not exposed to. So. You touched on something a little bit ago that I thought was really, really interesting, and, um, and that was that people said that they would be accepting or supportive of lesbian and gay people getting protections, whether it's in the workplace or where— wherever it might be, but not transgender people. And I've heard people talk about that and compare it to 20, 30 years ago the lesbian and gay community really was where the transgender community is today. What do you think of that comparison, and what can we do as people who are either parents of or allies of to help with that?

I think it's really interesting because the political movement that we're seeing around the trans and gender expansive community really mirrors also what we did see 20, 30 years ago around the movement for marriage equality in gay and lesbian community especially. And the same tactics actually being used, right? This is going to hurt our children, this is not good for family values, etc., etc. And so it is really interesting to look at those political movements and the similarity in the conversation and tactics that are being used now. So I think it's a fair enough comparison. I do, you know, I, I was so young, 20, 20, 30 years ago, right? And so I wasn't as much a part of it, but I do remember in, I think, 2008 when we were looking at marriage equality and that not being passed at the time and it being such something that felt like a real blow. And, and so it's been interesting because right now what we're seeing is really since 2020, we've seen over 1,500 pieces of anti-trans legislation that has been proposed throughout state legislatures in the United States. And just this year alone, I think we're up to 900 of those bills being proposed in state legislatures. And even last week, we saw that the Supreme Court upheld Tennessee's law to be able to discriminate against trans kids seeking gender-affirming care while cisgender children seeking the same care actually still maintain the right to receive gender-affirming care so long as it's in alignment with the sex that they were assigned at birth, right? And so, for example, when we're talking about things like puberty blockers, puberty blockers historically have been used on cis kids for what's called precocious puberty, right? So kids start puberty at way too early of an age, and so they get puberty blockers. And so even, even care like that right now would still be allowed for a cis child for precocious puberty, but is not going to be allowed for a trans kid, essentially, who has made the decision with their parents and their doctors that that is the right decision so that they can have more time before puberty hits. Right. And so, um, those are just some of the immediate things that, that we're seeing right now. And, and the thing that I think about in relating those two movements is the impact that it has on people's health. Because one of the things that marriage quality helps and allows for is the opportunity to be named a spouse. When someone is in a hospital, right? And being able to have the right then to go visit someone when they are sick or when they've gotten an accident or whatever the case may be. And so not having access to marriage impacts the ability to have your spouse with you when those health circumstances happen. And now when we think about it here, this is talking about access to actually being able to get care. Right, and access to actually being able to make decisions about your body. And so it's interesting because I, I do think that when we take a wide lens at this, that this has more implications around body autonomy and that it can have much more implications around body autonomy, autonomy in the long run, not just for the transgender community, um, but absolutely for cisgender people and probably especially cisgender women. And so it is something that when we think about this, we have to think about this as an issue that impacts all of us, even if you're not transgender, right?

Correct.

And so when we're thinking about, okay, well, what does allyship mean? What does allyship look like? What if I'm the parent to a trans kid? You know, I think allyship starts with that lens of, Hey, this is all of our issue actually, and we all need to come together on this just as we do for the other issues that impact communities that we may or might not think of ourselves as being a part of or that we might not specifically belong to. Right. And so I think that allyship starts with that mindset of this is a human rights issue actually. And like, I'm a human, so. This matters to me and this, this is an issue, my issue as well. There are so many things that we can say in terms of, of parenting that range from what if my child starts saying things that indicate that they might be trans or gender expansive or that they might just be exploring their gender and what does that mean? Um, all of the way to I know my kid is trans, what do I do in the current climate? And though I'm happy to explore both of those and, and maybe we can start with the first, but I think so.

I think that's a really good idea because those are the questions that are being asked. I think it's great to take a wide lens, acknowledge what's going on, but then what is— what's the— what do I do? What do I do? So let's start with the first one.

There are a lot of parents who, especially as we're getting more education around trans and gender expansive identities, something that I often refer to by TGX, the acronym trans and gender expansive,, and that includes folks who are transgender, who are non-binary, who are genderqueer, gender expansive, et cetera. And so I have parents that'll come to me and they'll, uh, you know, I'll, I'll do a, a workshop presentation at an organization. And one of the things I think about is that within organizations, actually, while we think about the future of our workforce being incredibly gender diverse, right? When we think about the youth who are coming out, And we have, you know, Williams Institute did a study where they showed that up to 27% of youth in California were identified as transgender or as gender nonconforming, meaning that the gender that they presented with was different than what was expected based on the sex that they were assigned at birth. 27%, almost a third. So thinking about that is really incredible. And to me really does speak to the fact that our younger generations, they enter the workforce, are inherently going to create a much more gender diverse workforce than we've ever had before.

Right.

But thinking about who is in our workforce right now, yes, we have trans and gender expansive folks in our workforce, and we also have a ton of parents whose kids are coming out as trans or gender expansive or who are exploring their genders. And so going to that question of, so what if my kid is starting to seem like they're exploring their gender? What if I have a kid that was assigned male at birth and they've started saying that they want to try on dresses? What do I do? And the first answer is let them. Gender exploration is a very normal part of child development. Yeah. And that doesn't necessarily mean that your kid is trans or gender expansive specifically, but being able to have the opportunity for kids to explore those really appropriate impulses of wanting to try something else on, relating, you know, perhaps to their mom or their dad a certain way, and then wanting to do what mom or dad or their non-binary parent is doing. All of those are incredibly normal things to do as a child. And the more that we allow children the opportunity to explore their interests, what they do or don't want to wear, what they like to eat or don't like to eat, the sport that they want to try, et cetera, the more that we actually help them build a very secure sense of self, right? Because then they have that opportunity. And how many of us had the experience when we were growing up where we wanted to try soccer or try picking flowers or try baking or whatever it was. And someone said, no, you can't do that because you're a boy or you're a girl. And I definitely had that experience in, in so many ways. And in having experiences like that, where we tell children that they can't explore things because of their gender or because it's it's not allowed for some arbitrary reason such as gender, we actually sever parts of them from exploring who they really are, right? And so it's very interesting to me to think about that from the parent lens of allow your child to explore these things.

Right.

Allow, allow them to follow those natural, very appropriate impulses. And then in terms of actual gender identity, right? That will also be something that reveals itself. So just because your child wants to try one thing or another doesn't necessarily implicate their sexuality, their gender, et cetera. What's going to implicate that is when they start saying, hey, I'm actually a boy.

Right.

Can you, can you treat me like a boy? When they start saying things like that, that's more of when you're going to see differentiation around gender identity specifically. And so my, my recommendations, you know, and I am not a child psychologist, I don't have a specialty, right, in, in working with children. So just to name that, but these are the things that I, I've learned from others who are leaders in this field, in that field. And that's the thing is, is finding those leaders that are in the field of specifically working with children around gender exploration, right? If you are a parent and you're seeing things and you're uncertain and you're confused, Finding resources that work for you is really what's important. And I came out as an adult to my mom. I was probably, I don't know, 24 when I came out to her as trans and as non-binary. And while she was immediately accepting and had a very loving initial response, there was so much that she had to learn and unlearn around gender, right? In order for us to really be able to connect, in order for her to understand me, but also to respect me properly. She, I remember her saying something once along the lines of, couldn't you just be a man? Wouldn't it be easier to be a man? And I was like, well, I don't know if it would be easier, but like maybe. And also it's just not who I, like, I'm not a man. I'm, I'm non-binary. Right. And, and so, um, but what she needed is one, she needed someone to help educate her just in general. And so I had my sister who was a very educated person on trans identities and trans issues, who really was able to sit with her on a regular basis and help educate her about what non-binary meant, how to use they and them pronouns, why, what, why do I want top surgery, you know, things like that. Um, and so first having that educator is I think really important or having some source of education. 2, you need a support network. You are also going through your own changes.

Exactly.

Around the fantasies that you had for your child that might have been related to gender, around— and I think that's something that happened for my mom is she had never seen examples of a happy, well-adjusted trans person. And I think it scared her. She didn't think I would be able to have a happy life because she'd never seen examples of that before. And so she needed a support network. And so she was able to connect with other parents of trans kids. Um, so that first one is educator. That second one is support network. And then I think that third one is also to work directly with a therapist or a professional. There are so many, I think a growing amount of professionals out there whether they are therapists or they're other types of practitioners in this realm who specifically work with parents of trans youth or parents and families and trans youth, right? And maybe there's a fourth one actually, which is to be able to help seek out some of the representation of like, there are so many, I mean, I love the trans community so much. It is so bright and vibrant and there are so many incredibly just talented, passionate, and compassionate people doing amazing things in this world. And so being able to just like not only have those examples for yourself, but also for your kids, right? To see what the possibilities are because we all need those possibility models.

Oh my goodness. A thousand percent. And I think right now especially, that's really, really important to highlight that. And to just let people see, right? Because that's not what's shown in a lot of places. So I think that representation is so, so huge.

Well, and if I can just name really quickly, Heather—

Absolutely, yes.

I think one of the things that's happening right now is that there are so many incredibly well-meaning people who might even think of them as LGBTQ inclusive in general, who are starting to hear the misinformation that's out there about the trans and gender expansive community. And that is also ringing this alarm for them of, hang on, I'm hearing these things about kids that are getting their body parts chopped off or whatever the, the really horrible rhetoric is that's just absolutely untrue and unfounded. And it's interesting because just a couple weeks ago, the, the US Trans Survey came out. And so that is a major study that's done This is their second round of doing this. They did one back in 2015, and the results from their 2022 study just came out. And this is a study that's by the US Center for Trans Equality alongside the Williams Institute of UCLA, which is the largest research body that does research around trans and gender expansive communities.

Okay.

And one of the things that they showed in the survey is I often talk to communities about the misinformation and what are some of the myths and misinformation that tends to be out there around the community. And I think one of the big ones right now is that trans people, once they transition, there are really high levels of regret rate, right? Um, when they transition genders, if they get surgery, if they have any form of gender-affirming medical care, et cetera. And my first thought around that is there's much more to the experience of gender affirmation and of gender than just medical care. Some trans and gender expansive people, that's actually not an important thing to them in terms of being able to be affirmed in their gender. And then for others, it's an integral part of being affirmed in our genders. Right.

Right.

So just to name that there's first off a really broad range of like what it means to be affirmed in your gender and what that actually looks like. Right. The other part of that though, is part of the misinformation and these, this idea around regret rates is that what this study showed was that for trans folks who transitioned their gender, transitioned medically, whether with surgery or home or hormones, the regret rate is less than 1%. Less than 1%, which is unheard of.

Yeah.

In general medical surgeries, right? Yeah. In knee replacement surgeries, there's different studies that have regret rates anywhere from 10 to about 35%, depending on the study that you that. We think about tattoo regret rates. I think there's like a 50% tattoo regret rate or something like that. Right.

Yeah.

And you know, it's very interesting because when we think about surgeries that are medically necessary and we have seen trans-affirming surgeries and gender-affirming surgeries are deemed medically necessary by the different bodies that actually give these designations. And so, um, in thinking of that though, less than 1% regret rate, it is a miracle, like incredible. And it's so interesting because if we had anything else where there was a less than 1% regret rate, you know, that it would be everywhere for everyone, right?

Oh my goodness.

Absolutely. The response, you know, right now politically that we're seeing. Is actually to be in attack of folks who, again, are really taking steps in order to have autonomy over who we are, who we say we are, what we need, what we want in ourselves, and what brings us joy and gender euphoria, really. And I'll say for myself, I've got top surgery I don't know, 8 years ago or so. Best decision of my entire life. I like— absolute best decision of my entire life. I am so happy with the way my chest is and looks. I love how I move and walk in the world after having surgery. And I'm not someone who necessarily had gender dysphoria as I was growing up. I didn't look at myself in the mirror and go, huh, like, my boobs don't belong here, right?

Right.

But when I did come out as non-binary and was binding for a while, and so was able to experience for over a year, like, what it felt like to walk in the world with a flat chest and to not have visible breasts. There was such a level of euphoria that I'd never experienced before, and it just felt right. And so it's, it's very interesting, the nuances that we can talk around with all of this. But anyway, but I, I think I really just did want to also hone in on that point that when we're talking about misinformation, there is so much of it that's out there. And I think there's a growing amount that's out there, to be honest with you. And so it's also really, really important for us to understand and to question what are we being shown? What are we seeing? And who is driving that narrative? Who is the one telling us information?

Right.

Because when you look in the trans community for this information, and there are a couple of trans folks out there who also talk about high regret rates, but they're, they're also misinformed. And so being able to make sure your information is actually coming from reputable sources. And anyway, that's a whole different rabbit hole we can go down on. But, but as we move into more of an era with AI and things like that, where there the lines become much more blurred around what we're seeing and whether it's real or not, it's very, very important for folks to make sure that they're getting their information from places that can be really relied upon.

Yes, I could not agree more. I think that is probably one of the bigger pieces that weave in between all of these topics we've talked about so far today, right? Is just knowing where your information comes from and knowing that it is accurate and factual. And because not just AI, but even backing up into social media and this current administration, those who support it do have a very big community on social media, YouTube, podcasts, like they have covered it all., and they have no problem spreading mis- and disinformation. And so it becomes that much more important every single time we have these conversations like this to really talk about the details, the nitty-gritty, and encouraging people to— and I love that you continually say the, the Williams Institute and these places where you're getting the information so that people can look it up. And I think that is such an important thing to just, if you don't do it already, start doing it. Every time you hear something that you think, I don't know, is that, can that be true? Is that possibly true? Look it up. And the more you look things up, the better at it you're gonna get. And the more, you know, the faster you're gonna be able to get to the bottom of it and figure out, you know, where these sources come from. So just, I encourage that to be something that everyone starts doing. That's how we're gonna combat this. Or one way, what we're seeing in this moment and the fact that so many within the TGX community, the LGBTQ community more broadly, so many different communities are so frightened and uncertain and the future seems very uncertain and you named it. Earlier before we started recording, which is we are watching the dismantling of our democracy, which I could not agree with you more. And it's a terrifying thing to watch. I think there's two parts to this question, actually. The first is what can people do? I know that you have some groups that you work with parents specifically of transgender kids and have answered a lot of questions about what to do in this time. So that's part one. And then Part 2, as a greater community, what do you see as some actionable steps? Because I think that anytime that we're able to say, okay, I can do something, there's hope.

I think in relation to your first question, the first thing that comes to mind, and we talked about this, is that the reality is all of our nervous systems are being activated to the nth degree right now by everything that's going on. And that is part of the tactic of this administration is to overwhelm us to the point of inaction, really.

Yeah.

Because the more your nervous system is activated for a prolonged time, the more that at the end of that, there end up being various consequences, whether that's burnout all the way to like really significant health issues. Right. And so in thinking about that, I think one of the things that we have to do in general is every, every single one of us has to get really good at understanding and recognizing like when our nervous system is activated so that we can have better agency of like making decisions, not from a place of full activation, but from a place of agency and understanding not only the current climate, but also how we're reacting to the current climate. And then what is and is not in our control on the individual level, right? And one of the things I talk to folks about is, as someone who's been doing advocacy and activism work for over 15 years at this point, is I have had several cycles of burnout that I have personally experienced because when I was first enlightened to kind of social justice and movement work, my response was, first of all, anger. That like there were so many greater issues that I hadn't really been exposed to in a proper way before. And that I had essentially grown up, I think, especially in a climate that, again, just didn't talk about these things. And so then they didn't exist to us because they weren't discussed, which is not an appropriate way to respond. And I think a lot of people are responding that way right now. Is if we don't talk about it, it's not here, right? I told my dad last year after the election that I wasn't able to come to Thanksgiving because I, it was too hard for me to be around folks who had voted for Trump and I just needed a little space and I wasn't shaming, shameful about it. I try to keep an open line of conversation and communication with that side of the family, even knowing that we have very misaligned politics, his response to me was, "Well, we don't talk about politics at the dinner table." And it just showed me, one, part of that disassociation from the truth, right? And also his inability to see that this doesn't affect me just in conversations. This affects my everyday life, actually, right? And so if we're able to, first off, just like recognize that impact, I think that that's really important. But then going back to that idea of like burnout, we also don't wanna burn ourselves out to the best of our ability, right? And so in thinking of that, if we can get to know our nervous system to understand what our different activations look like. And so what that might mean is I think about like days where I become really irritable and then I'm like, why am I really mad that, I don't know, there's lint on the floor? Here, like, but it's like sending me into a spiral, right? And that's like an indicator for me of, oh, hang on, what else is happening here? What is it that I need control so badly right now that like seeing one tiny piece of lint on the floor is like really upsetting to me right now? And so getting to know those signals in ourselves, and they're going to look different for everyone, but that's like one of my signals is like those tiny things setting me off. And then I know, oh, okay, hang on. I think I'm feeling really stressed. I'm feeling really activated. What is it today? Where does that live in my body? And what is that trying to tell me? Right?

Right.

Uh, and so anyway, so just to like level set there of we all need to get to know our nervous systems. But then two is going back to this idea of burnout. When I first got involved in this work, I involved myself in everything. I was in my undergrad, I joined every single club, right? I would go to protests, I would write letters, I would show up at city council meetings. I was doing every single thing. And I think at one point I was getting like 4 hours of sleep, 6 hours of sleep, right? And thinking that was enough because I was trying to save the world all by myself is like essentially what the mindset was. And that's not sustainable. And actually, because I wasn't taking care of myself well at that time, it actually was in disservice to the things I was doing and to the relationships that I had with other people. Because if we think about, and, and I think we have to imagine, what is it that we want our society to look like? And what is it that we want our connections with each other to look like? For me, I want my connections to be kind and grounded and for me to really get to know others and for them to really get to know me and for us to resource share and to be there for each other. When things are challenging, right? Or just when we need support or whatever those things are, right? And so if we think about like that for ourselves, like, what do I want my connections with others to look like? And then on a grander scale, what do I want my community to look like? What do I want this world to look like? I think then we can move from a, a greater space of understanding of then what are the steps then that we wanna take in order to get there. Being able to build community is incredibly important right now. Another resource that I'll offer folks is the book Mutual Aid by Dean Spade. In this book, he talks about the concepts of mutual aid and being able to be each other's resource in community with each other and how that has looked throughout social movements. Because if there's anything we're seeing right now, It's that unfortunately, like, our government is not going to save us, but our communities, we can save us and we can save each other and we can be there for each other. And, and we can see how that's looked throughout history. And that means not always being directly in alignment with every single thing. Like, we're not gonna agree on every single thing with one another, but if at the core we allow human connection to drive our ability to show up and care for one another, that matters so much more. And that's actually more sustainable as a model. And get to know your nervous system, help yourself understand when you're activated and when you're not, and like get a, a conscious relationship going with that, right? Um, so you can make different decisions. And then Imagine what do you want this world to look like? What do you want your connections to look like? And then from there, I think being able to show, show up in a sustainable way for yourself. And so in getting to the second question that you had of what does that actually look like? What are those actions, et cetera? Uh, often in workshops that I do with folks, I ask them to choose to commit to one action that they're going to do. For the next year. And when you do that, so that might be, I'm going to join my local organization, right? And I'm going to show up for their events. I'm going to do what this organization tells me to do. Because there, I mean, there's so many wonderful organizations and organizers that have been here for a very, very, very long time that know this work well. And what they need is they need supporters and champions to show up and to Be the person greeting people at meetings, or be the one that can help graphic design XYZ thing, or be the one to distribute flyers to XYZ neighborhood, right? There's so many different actual actions that we can all take. What's gonna actually work for your life and your lifestyle? But what is the one consistent action that you can take for the next year? And then committing to that. And like making a true commitment to that. And the thing is that I think part of the overwhelm that we've been seeing over this past 5 months— can't believe it's only been 5 months— I know, is, is that we're being bombarded with so much information. We're being bombarded with so many things about like this movement and that movement. And at the end of the day, all of these movements are interconnected with each other. Right? Trans rights is absolutely integrated with immigrants' rights, is absolutely integrated with women's rights, is absolutely integrated with disability rights, et cetera, et cetera. And so being able to choose that one thing you're going to do and then know that it is absolutely interconnected to every single other thing, to all of these other movements, and that we all need each other, um, and that we wanna push all of these movements forward for human rights for everyone, right? So that's my recommendation to folks is make one commitment that you can show up for for the next year and then just follow through on that commitment.

Yeah. I love that. That is amazing. Tell people how they can reach you, how they can find you, And then I will also put all of that in the show notes.

Yeah, if you want to learn more, I would say the best way to look at more about my work and what I do is to go to my website. So that's rexwilde, R-E-X-W-I-L-D-E, .com. The Wilde like Oscar Wilde, our queer icon. And so go ahead and check out my website. And there's two different places that I'll recommend folks go. One is that I run an inclusion roundtable every other month, and that is specifically for leaders, especially organization leaders who are looking for more guidance on how to lead in their organizations from an inclusive lens. So it's a really wonderful group of folks, so feel free to join us in that. You can find that on my site or my contact form and my LinkedIn are there as well.

Amazing.

Amazing. I am so grateful that we finally got to have this conversation. Thank you so, so much for being here.

Yeah, thank you, Heather. This was wonderful.

Wow. What an incredible conversation that was.

I really enjoyed that and I hope you did too.

Here's what I want you to walk away with today. One, Allieship begins with understanding and unlearning. Many well-meaning parents and allies believe they are accepting yet still carry unconscious biases or misinformation, especially about trans and gender-expansive identities. True allyship starts with a willingness to unlearn old narratives, seek accurate information, and view this as a shared human rights issue. Not just someone else's fight. 2. Support, education, and representation are critical for parents. When a child begins to explore their gender identity, the best response is curiosity, openness, and support. Parents benefit profoundly from education, a solid support network, affirming professionals, and exposure to positive representation of trans and non-binary individuals. These tools will empower you to raise secure, joyful kids while healing your own fear and confusion. And 3, sustainable advocacy means regulating your nervous system and committing to one action. Overwhelm is a tactic used to paralyze us. To be effective allies, we must notice our own nervous system activation, slow down, and build habits that foster resilience. Rather than doing everything at once, choose one meaningful action to commit to for a year, something aligned with your capacity and your values. In this moment of fear, misinformation, and political hostility, Allyship is both urgent and deeply personal. Whether you're parenting a TJX child, supporting a loved one, or simply showing up for justice, your voice and presence matter. Educate yourself. Build community. Join community. Commit to one action. And above all, remember, this is not just about trans rights. It's about human rights. The work of creating a more inclusive, loving world starts with each of us right here, right now. Thanks so much for being with me today. Remember that new episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday. And if this episode made you curious about what kind of ally you are, scroll down in your show notes to take a quick quiz to find out what your ally superpower is. Until next time, remember, you are not alone.