Heather Hester reflects on what mothering means beyond biology, drawing on her daughter Isabel's college graduation and her mentor Kali Lubeck's influence. She asks who has mothered you and how you mother others or yourself, centering presence, letting go, and nurturing as practices.
Chapters
Hi friends, and welcome to the Friday edition of More Human, More Kind: Beyond the Breath. As we move through the month of May, a month that holds both Mother's Day and for many of us seasons of transition, I wanted to spend these next few Fridays reflecting on the concept of mothering. Not just in the traditional sense, but in its broader, deeper, more universal form. Today we begin with the heart of mothering, what it means, why it matters, and how it shows up in unexpected, breathtaking, and sometimes bittersweet ways. This past weekend, my daughter Isabel graduated from college, and even as I say those words, my heart catches in my throat. These 4 years have been a time of such incredible growth for her, of expanding her capacity to hold so many truths at once, to learn and to move outside of her comfort zone and all of the beautiful things that happen within those 4 years of college. Graduation is one of those milestones that feels both monumental and surreal. There's pride, of course, so, so much pride and a deep aching love. But there's also this quiet grief, a letting go, a chapter closing. People don't talk about this one as much. It's hard. So let yourself have that. I found myself revisiting memories lately. Her first steps, her tiny little backpack on the first day of kindergarten. The countless late-night conversations, the sound of her laughter and strong opinions echoing throughout our house. There are also the difficult moments tucked in there, the struggles, the tears, the intense anxiety and uncertainty. Remember, living fully, being a human is messy. Mothering in this moment feels like holding 1,000 memories in one hand and a beautiful unknown in the other. It is, as my friend and mentor Kali Lubeck says, holding the tension of opposites, the big and. As I reflect on Isabel's graduation and Mother's Day, I've been thinking about how we define mothering. We often associate mothering with biology or caregiving, but it is so, so much more than that. Mothering is the act of nurturing life and another, the choice to witness, guide, and love without control, a practice of presence, patience, and fierce tenderness. You don't have to have children to mother. You don't even have to identify as a woman to mother. Mothering is a human capacity, a way of being in the world with care. It shows up when a teacher believes in a student no one else sees, when a friend drops off soup on your doorstep during a hard week, When someone holds your truth without flinching. Mothering is expansive. It is bold. And it often goes unseen. I believe mothering is one of the most powerful forms of love. It is active, intentional, and generative. But it can also be invisible. So many acts of mothering happen in the quiet corners of the world. They don't make headlines. They don't go viral. They don't capture the media's attention because they are splashy or outrageous or far-fetched. They look like holding space, being patient, showing up, staying up. They look like choosing love again and again, even when it's messy. Complicated or inconvenient. And they look like letting go when the time comes. That perhaps is the hardest and most sacred act of mothering. The release, the trust, the belief that what you've nurtured is strong enough to grow in the wild. So today, I want to invite you to pause and reflect. Who has mothered you in your life, perhaps unexpectedly? In what ways have you mothered, whether it's people, ideas, communities, even yourself? What parts of your life are asking for a little more nurturing right now? These are questions worth returning to, especially during seasons of transition. And celebration. Mothering is not a title, it's a practice, one that is deeply human and deeply kind. So wherever and however you mother, thank you. You are part of something ancient and sacred. And to Isabel, if you ever listen to this, My love for you is infinite. Watching you become the person you are has been one of the greatest joys of my life. Until next time, friends, take a deep breath, hold yourself gently, and remember, the way you love shapes the world.
