Shirzad Chamine identifies ten internal saboteurs like the Judge, Avoider, and Controller that run your thoughts without you noticing. Recognizing which ones are active in you and people close to you helps you take things less personally and talk through hard conversations without getting stuck.
Chapters
In Shirzad's research, he came up with.
A number of saboteurs.
And so I'm going to talk about.
These and see if any of these resonate with you.
See if you recognize any of these in your own day to day living. The first one is the judge. And the judge is not nice. Constantly judging our own behavior or others constantly criticizing ourselves.
And this can often lead to low self esteem.
The avoider is always avoiding difficult situations and procrastinating. Then there's the controller, who has the.
Need to control everything and everyone.
The hyperachiever has this excessive need to.
Achieve and to perform. And I'll say that's one of my saboteurs is the hyperachiever.
Another one of my saboteurs is the restless.
And so the restless likes to jump from one thing to the next, gets.
Bored easily and has trouble getting focused.
Another saboteur is the hyperrational, which is overly analytical and doesn't rely on emotion or intuition to move forward. The hypervigilant is constantly worried and thinking about possible threats.
The pleaser is putting everybody else's needs.
In front of them.
The stickler is clinging to past experiences.
And struggling to let go.
And then the victim is constantly seeing.
Yourself as being wronged by others. The victim is always blaming others as well. So those are the saboteurs.
Think about them and think about which ones are most active in your mind. And then think about which ones are most active in your partner's mind or your spouse's mind, or in your children's minds, so that the next time you come together and you are in an.
Argument or you're having a conversation that feels like it's getting really, really heavy.
Pull back and ask yourself which are the saboteurs that are overly active within.
You and which ones are overly active.
In the other person. And again, by doing that, that will help you take things less personally and.
