This YouTube clip features Heather Aardema discussing how to handle fear of regret when decluttering. She distinguishes future (anticipated) regret from present regret, frames regret as a transient bodily sensation, and offers cognitive reframes (e.g., likelihood of actual regret is low; if regret occurs it will pass). She uses an anecdote about someone worried about decluttering screwdrivers to illustrate imagined regret and cites the "Top Five Regrets of the Dying" (from a palliative care nurse/author) to encourage living true to oneself and creating a home that reflects personal values. The clip closes with an outro inviting viewers to use the "Soul Compass" and visit schooloflivinglighter.com for resources.
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What if I feel regret? Well, what we're talking about here is future regret versus current regret. Look around. You have some things, probably a lot of things. Do you feel a sense of regret? And if so, you know that regret is simply a feeling, a sensation in your body, a sensation that comes and goes. Regret isn't permanent. And so what if you feel some future regret? You get to decide to make that mean that you'll be okay. That is not a problem. That the sun will still come up and the sun will still go down, that the planet will still spin and spin and spin. What if I regret something? Don't let that be a stalling technique. I was speaking to somebody the other day and he said, heather, I use a lot of screwdrivers, and there's lots of different kinds of screwdrivers. And what if I regret decluttering some of the screwdrivers? And I'm afraid I might feel regret. And that's happened in the past. And so I said, well, when did that happen in the past? And he took a moment, thought about it. He's like, well, actually, it hasn't happened. I just. I was just thinking it could have happened. So the likelihood, the great likelihood, is that you're not going to feel regret. And if you do, you get to remind yourself that regret, it will come and go. So you get to remind yourself that regret is simply a feeling and that if it comes, it will also go. Here's where I don't want you to feel regret. I don't want you to get to the end of your days and I don't want you thinking, oh, my gosh, I wish I would have decluttered. I wish I weren't leaving this to my offspring. I wish I had dealt with this. Have you heard of Brawny Warehouse? She was a palliative care nurse in Australia for over 20 years. For all those years, she sat by people's sides in their last weeks, and she listened and listened and listened, and they told her their regrets. She wrote an essay called the Top five Regrets of the Dying. It turned into a book, a course, very popular, the very first regret. I didn't live a life true to myself. And so I want you to look around, look at your home. Does it represent a life that's true to you? Does it represent who you want to be? And if not, take this as a nudge to allow yourself to start letting go of things, to give yourself that permission that, yes, you might feel regret, and that's okay. Curious about what some of the other top regrets are are. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life to my true to myself, which was the top one that I mentioned. I wish I hadn't worked so hard. I wish I had the courage to express my feelings. I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends and I wish I let myself be happier. Let yourself be happier. Know that decluttering, it can be a journey that leads you to lightness. Know that decluttering does not have to be heavy, does not have to be full of potential regret. All of that is optional. Have some fun while you intentionally choose to let go and build the home and life of your dreams.
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