Heather Aardema explains the freedom shift, a reframing tool that swaps "I should" for "I'm free to" when deciding what to keep. She traces how obligation and identity stories trap us into accepting things we don't want, then shows how reframing restores choice and energy.
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I'm going to tell you about a new tool that I've been using called a freedom shift in just a second. First, I want to tell you a story about a piano. So the other day my husband came home and said, heather, Heather, one of my clients wants to give us her piano. And my immediate reaction was, oh, my gosh, that's great. I want the piano. Oh, that's so awesome. And he looked at me and he said, really? Where are we going to put it? We live in a home that is 1300 square feet. There are four of us and our dog Lulu. There is not a lot of space yet still, I tried to figure out, where could we put this piano. There had to be somewhere. So when my husband told me about the piano, I had that immediate urge, yes, I want it, I want it. And that is just kind of who I am. So I was born thinking that more was more. My sisters were born as minimalists. Less is more. And it took me many decades to kind of get to where they are. Actually, I'm not where they are. I still like stuff. I'm still a maximalist. Although now I'm really intentional about what comes into the house, and I feel so much lighter because of that. But anyway, back to this piano. Why did I want it so bad? And why did I feel like it was the right thing for us? So I got curious about it. So after my husband brought it up, and maybe about a half hour later, I was like, wow, why was I so immediately emotionally attached to this idea of us having a piano? And I realized it was all about the story that I wanted to tell. So you see, I was raised with a piano. My sisters and I had to take piano lessons. I took nine years of piano lessons, and I'm a horrible piano player. But still I had the story that, well, that's the right thing to do. That's what parents do. They bring their kids up or they have music available for their kids. And somehow I am falling short because I don't have that piano or those instruments for my two teenagers. So I realized that there get to be lots of layers to this, right? And there's no judgment. This just. This gets to be fun. We get to be curious and. And we get to learn about ourselves. So I realized, wow, it's the story that I want. I want the story more than I want the actual piano. And so I went to bed that night. I still had that urge. I still, you know, if we had could have found a place for it, or if my husband would have Said yes. I would have said, where there's a will, there's a way, and we would have figured it out and said yes to the. The piano. The next morning, though, I got up and that urge was completely gone. And I could look at the circumstance neutrally. Somebody. Somebody offered us a gift, and that gift was a piano. And if it's not a heck yes, it's a no. So that piano was a no for us. And that. I'll just say that it's been a journey for me to get to where I am today. So coming from that, more is more, you know, I have that natural, natural inclination to just want stuff. And I know I'm not alone. I know that a lot of you are like me as well. Yet I've managed to find my way or to make my way over to the lighter path and be really intentional about what I bring into the home now. So do you have a piano in your life, or is there something that somebody has offered you and you immediately wanted it, so you said yes, you brought it in, and then you never used it. And then it's there, but it just feels heavy and it's negatively impacting your energy. Because our stuff has energetic vibrations, right? It can impact how we feel. So if you have a piano, this is permission, a piano, or whatever the piano is for you, this is permission to get curious about what the story is behind the object that makes it feel so special, because all these objects really are just neutral and they are meaningless until we create meaning for them. So at the beginning of this video, I talked about a freedom shift being one of my favorite new tools that I have been using. And what I really like about a freedom shift is that it takes a thought that many of us have. I should do something. I should say yes to the piano. It takes a thought that can feel heavy. I should do this. I should do that out of obligation or out of whatever it is. And it shifts the energy to a feeling of freedom. And so you swap a sentence that says should do, fill in the blank. So maybe it should be, I should have started decluttering sooner. And you. You. You swap it to, I'm free to declutter when I want to. I'm free to declutter at a pace that's right for me. So I should have. I should have accepted or I should have said no to the piano. Let's say we brought the piano into our house. I should have said no to the piano. I'm free to change my mind and give the piano to somebody Else, I'm free too. And so this is powerful because when we say I should, I should have done this, I should have done that. There's a lot of heaviness in that sentence. And the energetic vibration is really low. And we're also powerless. We're arguing with the past. And so when we embrace the freedom shift, all of a sudden we are opening up the door to possibility, and we are also opening up the door to our own agency. And so I love the word agency because we all have it. We can all decide intentionally how we want to show up and how to show up on our behalf. So when we use a freedom shift, we go from this unintentional thought, arguing with the past, that feels heavy and makes us feel bad and. And definitely doesn't. Doesn't give us energy to. To declutter. And we shift over to the freedom shift, I'm free too. And then fill in that blank. And all of a sudden, there's a higher energetic vibration in the sentence. It's energizing, it's optimistic, it's motivating, it's inspiring. And we feel lighter with this statement, meaning that we. We are more focused on our decluttering journey and what. Whatever it is that we're decluttering, things feel lighter. So what's a freedom shift that you could embrace? Think about a should that you have had. So is there a should, a. A mental pattern that you've been saying over and over for so many months that you know is not doing you any good? And can you flip it to a freedom shift? I'm free to do things differently from this point forward? How much better does that sound? Right, compared to criticizing yourself for how you showed up in the past or didn't show up? I'm free to be intentional moving forward. I'm free too. So if you want for fun, just say out loud right now. I'm free to. I'm free to say it out loud and see how that feels. I'm free to say no thank you to any gifts that don't really serve me. I'm free to say no thank you to anything that doesn't feel light and right for the stage of life. I'm in now. Okay, play with that and let me know. Do you play the piano? I love the piano. I'm just not a good player. See you later. Thanks for watching. If this resonated with you, give us a like and share with friends who could use some light. Don't forget to follow our page for daily doses of living lighter and remember, if it feels light, it's right.
