Getting Over Self Doubt

Welcome, welcome, welcome to the second last day of launch. We are on launch day seven. We close our doors to her empire builder tomorrow. And today. What I wanted to talk to you about is getting over self doubt. Because it is something that I hear from people all the time in going, you know what, I don't know if I can do this because I am I good enough? Am I smart enough? I'm really afraid. Maybe I should just wait until next time because this thing that I want to do that feels so big is too scary. So I will wait to do that. And so what I want to talk to you about is how you can get over the fear, how you can feel the self doubt and how you can just do it anyway because we really have to be able to do that. Oh, hi, Rowan, my high school friend. Hi, Svet. Hi, Stace. How are you going? Hi, Michelle. All right, so what I want to talk about getting over self doubt. Now, a lot of people, what I find is that they delay themselves doing things or they don't do the thing that they've always wanted to do because that feeling of fear and that feeling of self doubt is so strong. And they can take it as an indication to go, you know what, maybe I shouldn't do this thing that I really wanted to do because this feeling is, is like debilitating. Right? Has anyone felt like that? Like, you can talk to me in the comments, please talk to me. I find it so hard to talk to the screen without people talking back. But everybody has let. Hi, Jaz. Hey, Going. Hi, Amelia. Oh, Winter bloom. Hello. Everybody has been debilitated by fear at some point. And the thing that I know absolutely for sure is out of all of the successful people I know, they don't let fear stop them from doing the thing that they want to do. They feel the fear and they do it anyway. Sometimes we can think that when we feel the fear, we should pull back or we should wait, we're not quite ready yet, or we should do those different things. But it is just an indication that we're doing something that we've never done before. And the reason that we feel that fear is because we are humans, we are total human beings. And it's completely normal to be. To feel fearful of something that we've never done before or to doubt whether something is actually possible for us. I do think that the big thing that sets people apart, that actually get their dreams to normal is whether they believe it's possible for them. Regardless of feeling that fear and feeling that kind of hold Back of whether or not you believe it's possible for you. So you will look at a dream that you have right now. So say you're there going, you know what? I want to be able to do this thing. Hi. Hi, Elisa. Hi, Jackie. Hi, Marguerite. So say you want to do this thing and go, you know what? I want to build my online business. Elise has just sent me a request to be in my live video. I'll probably scare the pants out of you if I accept that for you right now. Sometimes when people hit the button by mistake, I'm so tempted to go, yes. And just see them pop up and go, I won't. What was I saying? It's like when you get this far down lush there, you're just like, oh, my gosh, all the words, all the words. Thanks, Jarrah. I forgot to remind you, every day of launch, we are doing a giveaway. So if you want to go into that, go Tina Tower.com forward slash win. Every day we are giving. Oh, no mistake. She wanted to come on live. Not live right now. Every day we're giving away a copy of my book, Million Dollar Micro Business. And then at the end of the launch week. So tomorrow afternoon, we will be drawing the grand prize, which will be a row podcaster mic and a Hermpire Builder swag pack. So that'll be pretty cool. So if you want to go into that, go to tina tower.com forward/win. And if you want to apply for her Empire Builder, time is nearly running out. Go to her empire builder.com we close tomorrow. So it's nearly nearly time. Nearly done. And then I'll have some rest. Okay, so back to the feeling of whether or not it's possible for you. So if you've got a massive dream that you have, whether or not that comes true is whether or not you believe that it's actually possible for you. And this I really saw recently, there was a book that I read by Amanda, someone called Rich as F. It actually had the whole word, but I won't say it just in case. Just in case there's children about. So Rich as F. And she was talking about set points and energetic set points. And it really got me thinking because I loved the analogy of going, what do we accept is normal for us? And what do we accept is possible for us? And I was looking at it from the point of view because whenever we're listening to something, we're always thinking of it in, like, how it relates to ourselves, right? So I was looking at it and going okay, what is my set point? What do I think is normal? Whether it's a million dollar business, whether it's a $10 million business, like what is the difference in that other than me believing it is possible for me? Because once you believe that something is possible for you, you then find the, how you then do the thing that you know you need to do in order to get that result. Because you're like, well, these are just what I have to do on the way to getting that result. The only time you won't feel motivated or compelled to do the scary thing and get over the self doubt to get the result is if you actually don't believe it's possible for you. And so that's what I really want you to look at is rather than going, how can I do this without being afraid and without feeling fear because everybody feels it because we're human beings, I want you to look at it under the guise of going, okay, if I'm feeling resistance to that, do I actually believe that it's possible for me? And that is what you need to work on to be able to go to that next level. Because you won't do the things that you know you need to do if you don't believe that it's actually possible. And so that's what you have to start to work on is going, okay, if you think that there's a little niggling doubt and going, well, is it possible for me? I'm not really sure. Why? Why do you feel like it's not possible for you? And what I would encourage you to do is look for evidence. So look for evidence from other people. So find people that are doing the thing that you are doing and look at it objectively and going, okay, if they can do it, why can't I do it? And you'll be able to find all of the reasons why you can do it. And then the second thing that I would do is look for the evidence within yourself that gives you the right to be able to do the thing that you're wanting to do. And so this is a John demartini. So I used to, oh, you are so welcome. This is a John DeMartini thing. So way back in the day, like I think 2010 or 11, I went to a John Demartini like conference, four day conference called the Breakthrough Experience. And I have always been a personal development junkie. The amount of time and energy that I've spent on personal development, development and money is huge. But I love John demartini. He's A behavioral scientist and one of the things that he got us to do in relation to this was if we're feeling doubtful, if we're feeling that self doubt, if we're feeling like we're not good enough, if we're feeling like we've got a kind of like a barrier on us that we can't quite push through yet, we want to be able to prove to ourselves how it's actually possible. And so with that I you sat down and you wrote out 200 reasons why you were the right person to be doing what you were doing. That's a lot of reasons and usually the first 10 are really easy. You can do the first 10, but then after you get past the 10, like 10 to 50 is really hard and going well, you know, I care about people, I've got the experience, I did that. But then you get super granular and you're like that one time I had this one conversation, I was able to do that. And then this and this. And then by the time you get to the end of the 200, you're like, oh my gosh, I am amazing. Nothing going to stop me from doing this thing. So I would very much implore you to find the evidence within yourself of why you can do the very thing that you're trying to do. Because it's going to make a really, really big difference into you believing it's possible. Because once you are convinced that the dream that you have is actually possible for you, then you will take the steps in order to make that happen. Because when I look at it and I see people and they kind of have these dreams, but these dreams may be things that are not really their dream, like not really your heart's calling. When you have a dream that's like, you know what, this is the dream for me. This is really what I want to do. This is how I want to contribute to the world. This is how I want to make my life count. This is how I want to make that impact. When you have that identified, you're always going to have self doubt because it is scary as shit. When you go to do something that you haven't done before, like so scary. And that never goes away because like I said before, we're humans. Whenever you do something that you're not comfortable with, it's going to give you that pushback. Whenever you do something that is challenging, it's going to give you that pushback. But challenge is how we grow, struggle is how we go. The process is painful and of course it is we have to be able to do hard things. And there's this whole movement around going like, I love the saying, what if it was easy? And when I say that, I don't mean avoiding the struggle, I don't mean taking the hard out of it. Because really how we get a result is by doing the hard things. And I said this quote the other day and I'm going to say it again now because it's one of my favorites. Entrepreneurship is living a few years of your life like most people won't, so that you can live the rest of your life like most people can't. And the few years that most people won't is the hard because people think that it should be easier than it is. And people get frustrated and they're like, this is really hard. Why is this so hard? I can't do this. I'm not right for this. This is so hard. They're doing it so easily. Not me. Everything's so hard for me. You know you've been there, right? We've all been there at some stage. But the whole progress is in that pain. It has to be hard. Why do you think there's so few people that actually make it? It's because they do. And what I mean by what if it was easy? Is using our minds to transform the way we interpret the hard in going. Of course I am scared of doing the thing that I've never done before because I care so deeply about it. Of course I have self doubt because I'm afraid that people are going to judge me. And that's totally normal when you're going to play a bigger game than what you've played before. Of course it's going to be hard. I want to do exceptional things that many people are not willing to be able to do. But then by taking that, we can really rearrange in our mind what we're interpreting as hard so that the hard thing isn't the thing that's actually stopping us from doing it, but it is the way. So I will look at it. Take launch week for example. Right? I'll use myself as an example because you'll get it because you're watching me in launch week. Now. I've shown up a lot the last week. If anyone's followed along, you've seen me show up again and again every day. Now what I find is a lot of people when they're launching, go, I will do live launch, but I'm not going to do all of that because that's hard. We're spending Every day. I'm doing a lot of lives, I'm doing a lot of stories, I'm doing a lot of webinars, I'm doing a lot of emails, I'm doing a lot of phone calls with people. I'm doing a lot of personal touch points. There's a lot that goes on that is hard. Why do you think I have a million dollar a year business? Like, I do the hard thing. I don't go, no, that's too hard. No, I'm going to be too tired. No, I'm going to take pushback. No, I'm going to get rejected. No, I'm going to. I don't say that I don't care because when those nos happen, it leads to yeses. And I am willing to do the hard work to get to that other side. And you have to ask yourself, are you willing to do the hard work? I like to link it back to exercise because for me business is actually easy. I love the challenge of business. I actually love the whole curious experiment that it is. I love seeing how far I can go. I love seeing how I can challenge people. I love seeing other people succeed. Like right now I've got one of my clients who's breaking all her records in her launch and man, it just makes me so incredibly happy. I'm like throwing pom poms and everything. So to me that's really easy. But exercise and health on the other hand, not so easy. And I can see Taryn has joined us from Dietitian Approved, which is her wheelhouse here. So she's going to be going Tina. But I know I want to be stronger. So for me it's not necessarily like I know with my beautiful bone structure that I was gifted, that I'm never going to be a thin gal, but I want to be strong and I want to be healthy. I want to be snowboarding with my grandchildren. And so what I have to do is exercise a lot and I don't like it. It's hard and it hurts and it's painful, but the pain is the progress. And so by doing that, what it enables me to do is have that consistency and that long term health and business is exactly the same. You need to consistently show up and get over the self doubt to be able to push through and get those results that you want to be able to get. And so when you feel that self doubt, when you feel that fear, I don't want you to take that as an indication of runaway, go back. I want you to take it as an indication of going, this is exciting. I'm daring to believe something is greater for me than what I've experienced so far. And that is, of course, because you are a human going to feel shaky, it's going to feel scary, it's going to make you question everything. It's going to bring back so much past trauma that you did not even know was there. It's so a mind game. And the thing is, you're never there, no matter what level you go to. And this is why you have to love the game. I love the game of business. I know it ebbs and flows. I know it's constantly evolving. I know there's not an end point. Because whenever you master one set of problems, the universe will reward you beautifully by giving you the next lot. And so every time you go up, you've got this new set of things to master if you want to continue to grow and evolve. And as humans, we are here to grow and evolve. We are here for this rich, beautiful human experience. We're not here to play small and sit on the sidelines. Sure, lots of people are, but you're watching me, which means you are not. Because if you wanted a small, boring life, you wouldn't be here. You would be just living an ordinary life, paycheck to paycheck and just kind of cruising along, enjoying life. And there's nothing wrong with that. We need those people in the world. But if you're wanting to push the envelope, it means you're going to take risk. It means you're going to also experience reward. It means you're going to experience the high highs. You're also going to experience the low lows. And that is part of the package. It's something that you have to be able to accept and roll with. Love it. Okay. Beautiful. I'm so glad. Ask me any questions that you want as well about self doubt or getting over fear and being able to do that. Also, if you haven't already, go in the competition, Tina Tower.com forward/win. If you want to be able to go into the competition. We're giving away a book every day and tomorrow everyone that's gone in it will go in the competition to win a podcast night, which is super exciting. Have you applied for her empire builder? So her empire builder, that is what I'm talking about this week because we are in launch week. Her empire builder is very specific. So it's not right for everybody. But if you are a female who is a course creator, who has short courses and or memberships and you are operating on Kajabi and you're wanting to build your thought leadership and your expertise, then it is the greatest program in the world for you. It is amazing. So go to herempirebuilder.com or click the link in my bio. We close tomorrow, so we're on the final countdown. I always feel like when we get to this stage that it's like, da da da na da da da da da. Because there's a whole lot of women in there that are doing really awesome things, that are cheering each other on, where it's normal to be ambitious and to feel this fear and try and break through it. Because the thing is, like, we've got. Well, hopefully by the end of tomorrow, we'll have about 100 women in there. And it's not the absence of fear, like you say, as soon as you're in our group, how hard it is for people when they do their first launch, when they do their first webinar, when they put something out there and you don't know what the result is. Because we know the only thing certain is uncertainty. And as humans, we crave certainty. We want certainty, we want comfort. You cannot get that as you're growing a business. The only thing for certain is the uncertainty. And so you have to kind of embrace that and roll with it. And again, like I said, make it easy in your mind, accept it to be able to do that. And there's a huge comfort in seeing the other women and going, you know what? They're doing the hard thing. And we can do hard things because we can do it all together. And it is definitely not the absence of fear. There is nobody that does something that they haven't done before and goes, oh, no problems here. I mean, for me, even, like, I've done so many webinars, so so many. I still get nervous beforehand every single time because I care so deeply about it. I want to make sure that my intention is felt that people can make a positive result, that people can get something tangible and implement it and be able to grow from that. So everything takes practice. And I want you to be able to take that and implement it and grow and do the hard, scary thing, because you deserve it. You really do. And life is meant to be lived. And I believe that you can make a really massive impact. And we can't help anyone or impact people in a positive way if we're too scared to shine. And one of the things that I did at my retreat this year, so I don't know if people have followed along or not. But I have a retreat every June. So this year was in Noosa. Next year we're doing it in Uluru. So every member gets to be a part of that, included in their Mastermind membership. And this year I wanted to give something that was very symbolic. And so our whole theme of the retreat was, it's your time to shine. Because I wanted people to step into their light and I wanted them to feel that they were worthy and feel that they could be that person and they could do that hard thing and that everything that they wanted was possible for them. And so I'm big into symbolism. And so I got these sparkly Keds shoes that were covered in glitter and sparkles. Thanks, Michelle. Michelle was there at our retreat and I gave them to everybody. And you know, we had all of the shoe shoes there for everyone to unwrap at one point so that they could put them on and have something after the retreat to take with them to remind themselves to take a step in that direction and to feel the same energy that they felt there and step into their spotlight and shine. Because the only way that we can help other people and the only way we can share the gifts that we have is to be able to do that. And that is one of the hardest things about this online course game is if you are looking at building online courses, how you do that is through personal branding. How you do that is thought leadership is solidifying your expertise in your industry. And that is not an easy thing for everyone to be able to do. It comes more naturally for other people than it does for some. And it takes practice to be able to do that, to be able to have the courage to do that. But if you always look at it from the point of view of the customer and not yourself, it gets so, so much easier. But that doesn't make it easy. You've got to be able to do those hard things and accept the final thing is accept the lack of perfection. Because perfection is, look, it's a luxury that we just can't afford, really. If you want to continually grow and evolve, then you have to be able to let go the need to be perfect. Because perfect people don't get things done and you're here to get things done. And so you've got to be able to let go of that perfectionism and get it out. Now that doesn't mean shitty content, by no means. It means, though, not holding back and not letting that self doubt win by trying to make it perfect, by sitting on something for too long to try and get that elusive perfection that is just never going to come around. So done. Always get you done. That's what we're going to do. All right, any questions anybody has, if you want to ask me anything about her Empire Builder you can ask me in the comments or I know some people like to talk privately so feel free to DM me. After we can jump on the phone because tomorrow is when the doors close to her Empire Builder. So if you're wanting to join a mastermind for course creators to learn how to grow the business behind the online courses to solidify your thought leadership to help you get over the self doubt and the fear and have a whole group of women that are cheering you on behind you, I would love to have a chat to you. Go to her empire builder.com or go to the link in my bio. Alright everyone, thank you so so much. This afternoon I'll be having member chats with one of our gorgeous members, Kelly Bell. And tomorrow at the same time I will show you behind the scenes so that you can see what our member portal looks like as well and what you get access to as a member of Her Empire Builder. So I will see you then. Thanks so much everybody. Bye.