Tal Ben-Shahar distinguishes between unhealthy perfectionism, which ignores real constraints and breeds anxiety and depression, and healthy "optimalism," which sets high standards within achievable limits. The optimal life isn't flawless; it's the best you can do given who you are and what you have.
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Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another Optimize plus one. So speaking of perfectionism, from our last plus one, let's look at the essence of Tal Ben Chohar's great book, the Pursuit of Perfect. Tal is one of the world's leading positive psychologists. He taught the largest class in Harvard's history, positive psychology 101. He tells us there are two distinct forms of perfectionism. One of them is actually adaptive and the other is not. He tells us they are so different that they need different names. There's the unhealthy perfectionist who suffers from all the things you'd expect from perfectionism, anxiety, depression, etc. He calls them a perfectionist. Then there's the healthy, high functioning perfectionist who uses those high standards to fuel their growth. He calls them an optimalist. Perfectionist versus Optimalist. Now here's the primary difference between the two. The unhealthy perfectionist fails to embrace reality. They actually think they can work for 16 hours a day in pursuit of their great work while staying super healthy and being a great spouse and parent and being super active in the community and a great friend to dozens. And I get stressed just thinking about that. Now the source of their misery is the fact that they fail to embrace the constraints of reality. They simply can't do all of those things. So when they inevitably fall short of their expectations, they beat themselves up mercilessly and experience all the negative effects of unhealthy perfectionism. The healthy optimalist. They have really high standards and want to be a great creator, spouse, parent, friend and vital human. But they rub their vision up against reality. They see only so many hours in a day and construct their optimal life within the boundaries of those healthy constraints. Note, the word optimal is derived from the Latin optimus, which means the best, not the perfect, the best, the best within the constraints of our individual realities. So do you tend to be a perfectionist or an optimalist? How can you hold your high standards and embrace the constraints of reality? Just a little more today? Plus one. Isn't it a bit odd that we went from math to science to history, but somehow missed the class on how to live? For some wacky reason, optimal living 101 never made the schedule. Of course it's too late to go back and change that and you're too busy to read full time to catch up. But if you're like us. You're all about optimizing your life so you can actualize your potential. So imagine this. Imagine having someone read the best books on how to optimize your life and pull out the big ideas that can really change your life. You know those sections? You underline an asterisk and mark all up. Then imagine that guy me connecting those awesome ideas to other great books and helping you actually apply the wisdom to your life today. Well, that's what I do with something we call Philosopher's Notes where I've distilled hundreds of great books into 20 minute super practical summaries. Then imagine me taking the absolute best big ideas from those great books and sharing them with you in hour long Optimal Living 101 classes on everything from productivity, purpose and confidence to nutrition, goal setting and conquering procrastination. Helping you optimize every facet of your life so you can actualize your potential. You've got a personal trainer. I'm kind of like your personal philosopher. Ancient wisdom, modern science and practical tools. That's what our optimized membership program is all about. If you're feeling it, we'd love to have you join us.
