Areté +1° #002: Areté - Explain it Like I'm 10 (#1,537)

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another arete one degree. Today we have the second micro chapter of 451 from my new book Arete Activate youe Heroic Potential. Let's get to work. Arete. Explain it like I'm 10. I'm a pretty disciplined guy and have a pretty structured way I approach every day of the year. This morning I cut my normal morning work protocol short to focus on my love protocol. The special occasion. A chess tournament with Emerson at the Austin Grandmaster Chess Academy. So I leave my office early and step into the kitchen all fired up about the day ahead. And Emerson tells me he doesn't want to go. Me? Really? What's up buddy? Emerson's wilted flower posture response. I don't know. I just don't want to go. Me. Huh. Interesting. How about we go on a quick walk and talk about it? Emerson. Okay. We head out to hit the trail on our property and Eleanor and Mommy follow. Now before heading the opposite direction on our little trail. Mommy says he says he doesn't want to go because he doesn't think he will win. You might want to talk about that. Me to myself. Fascinating. We'll definitely want to talk about that. So I reach out to hold Emerson's hand as we start our walk. I squeeze it tight and tell him I love you in our little made up language we call squeeze ease. He tells me he loves me back via a little squeeze. And I say so Mommy says you don't want to go because you're not going to win the tournament. Emerson says yeah, me. With a chuckle. Dude, of course you're not going to win the tournament. You're going to play against guys that are insanely good. Remember what Nick, his coach, said yesterday when he was invited to play at an elite tournament that he knew he wouldn't win? Emerson? Yeah. He said he was super excited because he knew he'd be playing really good players that would challenge him and help him get better. Me. Exactly. Win or learn. And learning is winning. So let's go. Right? Emerson? Yeah. Now that part of our chat was on the first half of our loop. Right after we established the opportunity to win or learn, we ran into Mommy and Eleanor who were headed the other direction. We gave them a high five and then continued our chat. Me. Hey buddy, you know that voice in your head that was telling you all the reasons you didn't want to go to the chess tournament? Emerson? Yeah, me. Well. And I stop walking and get down on a knee and look him straight in the eye as I say we all have that voice in our head. And I want you to listen really closely right now. If you run your life making decisions based on what that voice in your head tells you then. And I paused, you will not create the life you want, period. Your Grandpa Phil calls that part X. We all have that voice, and it's never going to go away. And one of the most important things you will ever do is learn how to deal with that voice. Emerson's eyes are big. He's focused. He's locked in, fully registered. I stand up. We continue our walk. I grab his hand again. Me via squeezies, I love you. Him via squeezies, I love you too. Then I say, now here's how you deal with that voice. First, you need to recognize that part X is talking to you. You'll usually know, because you will be whining or complaining or making up stories about why you don't want to do something you kind of know you actually do want to do. Just notice the voice is there. Then practice targeted thinking by asking yourself, what do I want? We make eye contact. He's fully present and tracking. And I continue by saying, so what do you want in your life? Emerson says, well, I want to be happy. And I say, exactly. Then I pull up the sleeve on my sweatshirt and show him the 1 inch tall, 5 inch wide tattoo on my left forearm. You want to be heroic and show up as your best self and create a great joyful life in which you're giving your gifts to the world? He nods his head and says, yeah. Then I say, and you know how you will do that? And he says, by helping people. I say, great answer. Yes, exactly. And in this situation you need to. Then I pull up the sleeve on my other arm and to show him the 1 inch tall, 4 inch wide tattoo on my right forearm. I say, you need to live with Arete. You remember what that means? He says, sort of. I say, it's an ancient Greek word. We translate it into English as virtue or excellence, but it has a deeper meaning, something closer to expressing the best version of yourself, moment to moment to moment. Then I stop again and hold up my right hand about eye level so it's parallel to the ground. And I say, you see that line? That's you being your absolute best self. Then I hold up my left hand about a foot below that, also parallel to the ground. And I say, you see this line? That's you not being your best self. Now, you see that gap between this line and that line? Emerson nods his head well, you know how you feel when there's that big of a gap. Emerson says, not very good. I say, exactly. Now, what if we close the gap between who we are capable of being and who we are actually being as we show up as the best version of ourselves? How do you think that feels? And Emerson says, it feels good. And I say, no, it feels great. And that is the ultimate game we're all playing all day, every day. When we close the gap and choose to do the things that help us show up as the best version of ourselves, we feel a deep sense of joy. The ancient Greek and Stoic philosophers had a word for that as well. They called it eudaimonia. Emerson nods his head, letting me know he gets it, and we continue walking and I say, and guess what? Remember that voice that was telling you all the reasons why you shouldn't go to the tournament today? Emerson says, yeah. And I say, well, he wasn't helping you make the best decision, was he? Emerson says, no. And I say, and that is why I have this heroic tattoo and this Arete tattoo. And then I give him a little squeezies. I love you. He gives me one back. I love you too. And that, my fellow hero in training, is one way to teach a kid the power of Arete. And helping you operationalize that wisdom so you can activate your heroic potential is what this book is all about. I hope you enjoyed that. Arete One Degree from my new book, Arete Activate youe Heroic Potential. The book will be shipped on November 14, right before Black Friday, in time to make it the perfect holiday gift, perhaps. I wanted to let you know that we have some special giveaways if you think you might like to pre order the book and even more goodies if you think you might want to give the book away this holiday season. Here's the deal. Pre order one copy and get a free Advanced reader copy of the ebook today. Pre order three copies and get a free advanced copy of the ebook and the audiobook and a limited edition Arete coin that we'll send to you. Pre order 10 copies of the book. Bless you and get all of that plus an autographed advanced Hardcover reader copy sent to you immediately inside the fancy Arete VIP box, which is packed with other goodies including this Arete T shirt, a Heroic t shirt, and 10 free annual heroic memberships for your gift recipients. You'd be able to give them a book and a year's worth of Heroic for free. If you pre order 25 copies, you'll get all that plus a free ticket to our launch event party in Austin November 10th through 12th and you'll get a personal voice memo. Thank you and a high five from me if you're feeling inspired to order over 50 copies of the book. We've been blessed to have a lot of CEOs and corporations do that. We'll give you a huge discount. Just let us know all of this you can learn more about at Heroic U.S. book. Heroic U.S. book of course you can order the book on Amazon. Barnes and Noble Independent bookstores will be everywhere you can buy a book, Hudson's Airport stores, et cetera. And let us know of course when you've done that and purchased a copy or three or ten or more if you feel inspired to do so at Heroic Us Book. I appreciate you and I hope you love the book. I'm super excited about it, super proud of it and I hope it helps you and your families transform your lives.