A short Heroic+1 podcast episode by Brian Johnson (Sept 10, 2024) reflecting on Marsha Linehan's dialectical behavior therapy and David Reynolds' Constructive Living. Johnson highlights the idea that action shapes feelings and thoughts—"behavior wags the tail of feelings"—and summarizes Reynolds' five principles of constructive living, urging listeners to act as they would at their best even when they don't feel like it.
Chapters
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic plus one and our last plus one. We wrapped up our quick tour through Marsha Linehan's wonderful memoir and equally powerful dialectical Behavior Therapy. Today I want to talk a little bit more about one specific line from her wisdom on Opposite Action. As you may recall, she told us, you can't think yourself in new ways of acting. You can only act yourself into new ways of thinking. Now, when I read that, I immediately thought of David Reynolds. Reynolds is also a therapist who integrates Zen philosophy into his work. He basically wrote an entire book on the same line. It's called Constructive Living. Check out the notes. As I've said many times, I highly recommend that little book. Dan Millman highly recommended it to me like 20 years ago as the book philosophy that deeply influenced him and his work. So Reynolds tells us, and I quote, the mature human being goes about doing what needs to be done, regardless of whether that person feels great or terrible. Knowing that you are the kind of person with that kind of self control brings all the satisfaction and confidence you will ever need. Even on days when the satisfaction and confidence just aren't there, you can get the job done anyway. Now he tells us that there are five principles of constructive living. Here they are. Number one, feelings are uncontrollable directly by the will. Feelings, he says number two, must be recognized and accepted as they are. Then number three, every feeling, however unpleasant, has its uses. Four, feelings fade in time unless they are restimulated. Five, feelings can be directly influenced by behavior. And most importantly, he tells us, behavior wags the tail of feelings. We do. Then we feel. Or as Marcia would put it, you can't think yourself into new ways of acting. You can only act yourself into new ways of thinking. That's a big idea. And that's today's plus one. Let's go do the things we do when we're at our best, especially when we don't feel like it. I repeat, behavior wags the tail of feelings. We do. Then we feel. And you can't think yourself into new ways of acting. You can only act yourself into new ways of thinking. It's day one. We're all in. Let's go.
