A short YouTube episode (Heroic +1) by Brian Johnson reflecting on learning opportunities in everyday relationships. Using a recent conversation with his son Emerson and references to Confucius and Carol Dweck, Brian encourages a 'win or learn' mindset: admire and imitate virtues in others and inspect and correct negative qualities within oneself.
Chapters
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic plus one. In our last couple ones we hung out with Emerson and used his passion for chess as the context to talk about whooping goals, the science of turning our dreams into reality, and the importance of being willing to be a beginner as we embrace a growth mindset and win or learn en route to becoming a master. After Emerson told me with the enthusiasm of a beautiful 10 year old and that he'd be able to beat almost anyone when he was a chess master, we talked about how cool it will be to learn from those people who could still beat him. And as I mentioned, but it's worth repeating, that made me think of Carol Dweck and her research on the growth mindset. Check out our notes on mindset and self theories. Seriously, check out those notes. As a parent, I think those two books and have been the most impactful parenting books I've ever read. The fact that our kids currently have a very strong sense of the power of a growth mindset and the importance of practice, etc. Is directly attributable to the wisdom in those two notes. So I repeat, check out our notes on mindset and self theories. I rarely make a seriously trust me recommendation, but seriously trust me. Those two notes are pure gold for parents and the rest of us who are trying to bring forth the best in ourselves and those we love, whether that includes our kids or grandkids or nieces or nephews or clients or colleagues. Now, as I chatted with Emerson about the fact that those chess players who could beat him would teach him a ton, I also thought of Confucius. Yes, that's how my brain works. So I looked up at my wall of heroes and Confucius smile smiled at me as I imagined him reminding me of some wisdom we talk about in our notes on the Analects. He tells us the Master said, even when walking in a party of no more than three, I can always be certain of learning from those I am with. There will be good qualities that I could select for imitation and bad ones that will teach me what requires correction in myself. He also tells us the Master said, in the presence of a good man, think all the time and how you may learn to equal him. In the presence of a bad man, turn your gaze within and that's today's plus one. We always have the opportunity to win or learn. When you are in the presence of an exemplary human being, including yourself, take a moment to admire their great qualities. Celebrate them out loud by telling them you admire certain qualities you see in them. If you feel so inspired, think about how you can embody those qualities even more. And when you are in the presence of someone, including yourself, who shows up in a less than awesome way, take a moment to reflect on the negative qualities you too have within yourself and think about how you can get a little better in that regard. And by the way, Confucius was all in. He said things like learn as if you were following someone whom you could not catch up, as though it were someone you were frightened of losing. I like his style. Let's go all in, hero. All day, every day, especially today.
