17 Dec 2025 · 3 min
Brian Johnson argues that self-compassion alone isn't enough. Pair Kristin Neff's practices with what he calls heroic self-encouragement: compassionate awareness plus firm, loving pressure to change harmful behaviors now, not someday.
Hey, hero, if you're enjoying these daily plus ones, make sure you head to heroic us to check out all of the other goodness. We have to help you activate your best every day. And now, today's plus one. Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic plus one. Today I want to talk about self compassion. Well, technically, I want to talk about heroic self compassion, which, when you take it to its logical end, becomes heroic self encouragement. So, yeah, that's what we'll talk about today. Heroic self encouragement. Here's the deal. We know that self compassion is important. Critically important, in fact, which is why we've spent so much time making sure you and I practice the 1, 2 Thurs of Kristin Neff's research on the science of self compassion. Check out our notes on her great book. Now, here's the recap of that science of self compassion. First, we need to practice common humanity. We know that we're not alone in our struggles. We all fall short of our ideals and let ourselves down and suffer. Number two, we are kind with ourselves. We talk to ourselves with the same kindness with which we would support a beloved friend rather than with incessant toxic criticism. And number three, we're mindful of when we are spinning out into shame and we bring ourselves back to practicing the first and second principles of self compassion. In other words, we shine a compassionate flashlight of awareness rather than beat ourselves up with a hammer. To which I say, yes, we need to do all of that. And at some point, we need to move beyond acceptance of our suffering and choose to do something different. We need to hold the flashlight of gentle compassion with one hand and we need to wield an equally loving but considerably more fierce hammer with the other. We need to have the serenity and self compassion to accept the things we cannot change and the courage to change the things we can. And of course, the wisdom to know the difference. In short, we could say that we need to move beyond self compassion to heroic self encouragement. Not Someday Today. So with a flashlight of loving compassion, what needs work in your life? Can you see the ways that behavior is creating unnecessary suffering? You're human. You'll never be perfect. And shaming yourself about that fact and your shortcomings won't help. And with a hammer of loving encouragement, we need to move beyond acceptance and do the hard work to craft a better life. Let's do that hero for ourselves, our families, our communities, we, our countries and our world. Not Someday Today. We hope you enjoyed today's heroic plus one. For more ancient wisdom, modern science and practical tools to help you flourish in energy, work and love. Head to Heroic US where you can get started on your heroic journey for free.
