17 Dec 2025 · 0 min
Brian Johnson uses his son Emerson shouting "hey Daddy" during chess to explain John Gottman's concept of relationship bids. Responding to these small moments creates what Johnson calls micro moments of awesome, the building blocks of flourishing relationships.
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Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic plus one. This morning, as I was working on some plus ones, I took a little break. And the moment I opened my office door, Emerson shouted at me from the living room where he was practicing some chess with one of my all time favorite phrases, hey Daddy. I smiled when I heard him say that. Then I thought to myself, that's a bid. Respond to it. Then I went out, spent a minute trying to figure out a chess move with him as part of a drill on chesskid.com Great site, by the way. I didn't see the right move, but Emerson did, by the way. And then I went over and gave Eleanor a kiss and told her I loved her. And then I went back to my office to work on this plus one. And the whole thing took me less than two minutes max. Yet those were at least tied for first as the most important two minutes of my day. Why? Because the science is unequivocal. Great relationships and great flourishing lives of which relationships are such a critical component, are formed one tiny little micro moment of awesome at a time. And very importantly, those vitally important tiny little micro moments of awesome are often created in response to what leading relationship researcher John Gottman calls a bid. As we've discussed in plus ones on the subject, including relationship bid math, bid math part 2, and kid bid algorithms. Check those out. Responding to bids, all caps is really important, which is why I have respond to bid from Emerson and respond to bid from Eleanor and respond to bid from Alexandra as targets in my big three heroic love protocol. It's also why I have micro moment of awesome with Emerson and micro moment of awesome with Eleanor and micro moment of awesome with Alexandra as heroic targets in my big three love protocol. The bid drives the micro moment. Let's pay attention to that and hit some heroic targets today. Target swipe. Respond to bid from someone. Target swipe. Micro moment of awesome with someone. Target swipe. Repeat, respond to bid from someone. And target swipe again. Micro moment of awesome with someone all day, every day, especially today.
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