How can I be consistent when my life isn't? - with Alexandra Jaye Johnson on Optimize Coach

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I always say, okay, I guess I'm going to have like an algorithm for. For a 7am day when I have to be out of the house. I'll have an algorithm for not leaving the house and then I'll have an algorithm for when I get home at 6:00pm um, but then it's just plugging in all these pieces and trying to take it from theory to practice. Like, I just am not satisfied with my progress. I. Overall, I think it's good, but I want to be doing better from a consistency standpoint. Uh, what do you think?

Awesome. I love this. This is such a great question. Can we give you some love and also see this problem, like, all workable and awesome? Okay. All right, let's close our eyes. Savannah, right?

Yes. Savannah. I love that name.

Okay, let's send Savannah some love, some awesome energy. Imagining her just totally rocking it in her flow. All right. Opening our eyes. Fantastic. Okay, so my first question for you. Do you actually want consistency?

Ooh. You know, that is funny because I always say I. I despise it like a routine. Like, anytime I think of a routine, it really, like, freaks me out. I'm like, oh, gosh. The same thing every day for the rest of my life, like, is very. A very weird concept for me, but I feel like in alignment with this program, it's inherently. It's like a big part of it is. It's like. And I keep repeating, my mantra is like, the sublime is through the mundane. You know, like, I want to have inherent spontaneity, but I've been trying to, like, break myself of that, to go through the mundane, like, small tasks to get to where I want to be. So that's a hard question for me because I don't think at the end most of the time, routine and stag, like, you know, and stagnant. Sounds terrible, but that does kind of give me the heebie duties. Yeah.

Just because as you were sharing it, so. So one. I just want to. And we talk about this all the time. And Yana and I talk about it too, is like, you know, Brian and. And Michael are super routine. Brian probably even more than Michael. I mean, Brian is like, you know, just. That's. Just, that's who he is. He loves that he thrives on that. He is like, super routine. It's amazing for him. And again, you don't. Being in this program, it's idiosyncratic. You have to figure out what works best for you, and if that means that you are. Even Cal has the journalistic deep work. So sometimes we can think of deep work, and it's. I need to be like, super focused for like two hours, three hours, whatever it is, just in it. But there is another form where it's, you know, where you literally are. There are micro moments of deep work. And that may appeal to somebody like you who has a schedule that you have. And I would say, again, I feel like almost all my calls are all this too. This goes back to trusting yourself and knowing yourself, because it sounds like you have a good idea. You have a career that seems like it makes you feel alive and like you maybe like to be a little bit like. You like to have that. I. You were just talking about having your phone, and you need to have it. My midwife, Mary Jackson, you know, she's been doing it for 40. I want to say 45 years. She's always on call, always, all day, all through the night. I am so enamored with her. But for her, she is so aligned with her purpose. This is what she's here to do. She's here to deliver babies. Like, that's what she's here to do. She will. She's had messed up sleeping forever. And she is the most radiant, embodied human being I have ever met. She doesn't follow any sort of routine, and she's joyfully happy. So with that, I just think, what makes you happy, if you want to break the habit of being that, that you could do that. But there's also. Why are you trying to go against yourself instead of really owning who you are and how you want to live? And you want to have that spontaneity and celebrating that and making it work for you.

Yeah, just. My husband says it all the time. He's like, you cannot pat yourself on the back. You can't give yourself credit. You don't, like, you know, appreciate what you are doing. I try to fit into a mold. So maybe I need to give myself permission to. Because I. That's what, like, always I write down in my journal. It's like idiosyncratic, like what works for you. And it's like I haven't been able to define it. So there you go. I mean, that's. I mean, I guess thank you for the permission. It's like Almost feels like I needed that, like, permission to do that, right? Yeah.

Yeah. And I mean, I resonate with you. I'm not, I am like more of like introverted, but I don't have a set thing. I, Brian does the exact same thing every morning. And I used to do that a little bit more when I had, before I had kids. But having kids, like, that's just not how my life goes. Like, if I was going to be like every day, I'm going to do it like this. That doesn't work for the kids. It's just not great. It's not good for our flow and for our dynamics. So I've had to be flexible. So for me, I just have my cornerstones. I, I'm going to meditate, I'm going to move. And then you have your, then you get to use your spontaneity and your creativity for when you're going to fit those in. Oh, okay. I have an hour right now. Maybe, you know, like, for me that, that I just have those kind of cornerstones, those like mile marks that I hit. And it doesn't look the same. If you looked at my day, I mean, there's some rhythm just because. Rhythm of family life. But I could meditate at 5pm I could meditate at 4:30am like today I meditated at 5 in the morning. You know, like, it doesn't have any rhyme or reason. And also this giving ourselves permission, this is part of a feminine flow, which we talk about as well. Masculine is very linear, masculine energy, and that's awesome. But if we have more feminine essence, then to use your masculine to flow in your feminine and give yourself permission to be more fluid, to be more joyful, to be more spontaneous. Like, what would that look like?

I think.

Because we, I think we all have these constraints. And you're not alone in this. I have my own constraints that I have of what it looks like to live an optimized life. And, and I think when we continue to come back to ourselves, come back to ourselves, journal, reflect, when do I feel most alive? What feels like it works for me. All these questions over and over and over that we ask ourselves to get in tune with what is going to work for us, then those answers start bubbling up. And then like you said, we give ourselves permission. Like, give yourself. What would happen if we gave ourselves permission to be ourselves? I don't know. I think we would have a happier world and we would all be happier if we didn't have all these, these things that we think we need to Do. And with the caveat of, yes, meditation is important. Yes, movement, yes, nutrition, yes to all these things. But the how is up to us to create. So what, how do you feel about that? What's resonating? Not resonating? What? Any ideas that you have?

Yeah, no. I work in a male dominated industry and so, you know, and it's a surgical a lot like neurosurgeons. And so maybe that I am just trying to push that onto myself, like more than I need to. So that's makes me feel better because I'm just beating myself up. Like, I want to be doing better, like, and I'm doing great. I'm loving it. The program. I'm definitely have more of a flashlight than a hammer. That's been huge. Like, this has been the most like, graceful, like, program I've gone through, like with the giving grace and that kind of stuff. And so I feel good every day. My mom's doing it with me also. She's not on today, but her and I like are bouncing back and forth and she's. We go back and forth. One of us is beating each other, beating ourselves up. And we've kind of been balancing each other out. But it's the grace element of it and just like kind of the continual process of it. Reminding myself to start again, start again, start again, start again. So this is good. No, I really appreciate it.

Yeah. And I think the start again also comes back to start again. Like, I think we all in many ways know who we are, but the start again is continuing to remember who we are. You know, like, I think there's an innate, like, it's like, start again. Okay, wait, remember who I am. Okay. Okay. And then we go in our life and then like, wait, come back. That's why the meditation and the journaling is so good because it helps us come back to ourselves and remember who we are. Because we can get distracted by the world. I mean, that is just part of living. And then it is like those touchstones of coming back and remembering. Oh, wait, this is when I feel the best.

We hope you enjoyed that. Part of a live coaching session from the Optymyze Coach program. For more info, head to Optimize me coach.