Dr. Shefali describes an inner triangle of three selves: your inner child with unmet needs, your ego's protective masks, and your adult self as inner coach. Healing wounds means recognizing how childhood needs created compensatory behaviors, then integrating them through awareness rather than identifying as wounded.
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How do we maintain kind of an adult creator's mindset coaching mindset. I'm thinking of the empowerment dynamic where there's the victim that's been wounded and they need a savior versus the I don't even remember but the one that did the coach. Right. So cool. I've had things that happened to me and yet I'm not broken because. Because these things have happened. How do we maintain that mentality as knowing that again, you teach people to do this and it's a very long, drawn out process. But any.
Yeah, I'll just tell you. In my coaching institute, we teach parents to identify what I call like the sacred or holy, whatever word you want to use, triangle within ourselves. So if this inner triangle, according to me is not quote unquote healed, if we're going to keep repeating, so what is the triangle? So it's the triangle between the inner child and I'll explain what that is. And then the ego and the adult self. So the ego, the inner child, adult self. This is the cycle. This is the constant cycle. So the inner child is the child within us that was left by the wayside. All our feelings that were never validated, all our fears that we were never acknowledged for mommy, do you see me? Daddy, do you hear me? Am I worthy? And that is still staying on. It's still in our inner sidewalk, so to speak. It's just been left there. How did we compensate as children when our feelings were not validated? Well, we created a shell. We created a Persona, we created a mask. All these words for the ego. And the ego has many masks. So you could have become a pleaser, you could have become a rageaholic, you could have become an overeater over a pleaser, overachiever, over comedic, over all these sorts of over ways that we create to protect that inner child. So the inner child was hurt. Mommy, I'm really upset. And the mom negates you or the mom neglects you. And I'm only using mother as one prototype. So then the child feels more hurt. But then the child realizes, oh, I gotta survive this pain. So the child is like, I'll just go eat. And there you got an eater. You know, it's just so quick and we have tons of egoic ways false ways of reacting to life because we had to survive our childhood. Now we've been living with the inner child ego inner child ego and most of us have been stuck there. We've just been compensating in these fake ways and they're not our true self. So now we have to develop the true self. True self is through the healing of the inner child we develop an adult self that has to heal. Now that's your inner coach or your inner guru or your inner teacher and you have to activate that adult self. So through awareness, through, through understanding through understanding your patterns like oh this is my inner child. Oh there's my ego. Here's my inner child, here's my ego. Through this constant understanding of your patterns you now develop this inner coach or your adult self and you do that work.
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