17 Dec 2025 · 2 min
Brian Johnson shares Patricia Ryan Madsen's advice on marriage: stop trying to fix your spouse and instead do three small, secret acts of service each day. The challenge is to find three tiny ways to serve someone you love today.
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic plus one. In our last couple 1s, we've had fun using Emerson's new Oura ring as a catalyst for our exploration of some practical wisdom. We started talking about the data driven connections we're making. Then we chatted about the tiny little micro acts of love we can more deliberately engage in throughout the day. Today I want to connect that idea to a heroic chat with masters I recently had with Patricia Ryan Madsen. Now, Patricia is the author of Improv Wisdom. She taught in Stanford's drama department for decades and is one of the most wonderful humans I've ever met. Now that I think about it, she reminds me of another Stanford sage and mentor, William Damon, who is one of the world's leading scholars on the science of moral development. Check out our notes on noble purpose, the Path to purpose, and a round of golf with my father for more of his wisdom. Now, they both have an extraordinary embodied wisdom and a calm, loving warmth. Soul force activated. And at the end of my chats with these heroic masters, I often invite our community to ask our guest a question. After my chat with Patricia, a member of our community asked a question regarding how he can more powerfully connect with his wife when they face the inevitable struggles in their relationship and parenting journey with raising a bunch of kids. Patricia's response? She told him basically to quit trying to coach, support or fix his wife and simply look for three ways he could secretly serve her during the day. Tiny little micro acts of love that he could do for her without telling her and without expecting to get any credit or thanks. And that's our plus one. Think of a loved one. Perhaps someone with whom you might be facing some challenges or with whom you want to deepen your connection. You got them? Awesome. Now see if you can find three tiny little things you can do to make their lives just a little better today. Plus one. Plus one. Plus one all day, every day, especially today.
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