Learning-Wins: How to Operationalize Winning or Learning (Heroic +1 #1,493)

Hey hero, if you're enjoying these daily plus ones, make sure you head to Heroic us to check out all of the other goodness we have to help you activate your best every day. And now, today's plus one.

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic plus one. Emerson's newfound passion for chess has given us an opportunity to go to the next level in our relationship. It's hard to put into words just how fun it has been to use his passion for chess and as the context to teach him all the stuff you and I talk about all day, every day. From dominating the fundamentals to forging antifragile confidence. And his passion for playing and competing in tournaments has also given us an incredible opportunity to spend some more time together. A couple weekends ago we went on a road trip to the Texas State Chess Championships. It was just the boys while the ladies got some girl time together. Five hour drive on Friday, games on Friday night, Saturday and Sunday, then a five hour drive home on Sunday. We had so much fun on the first day that I fell asleep with tears in my eyes as we played footsie in our shared king size bed. And I got tears in my eyes just typing that as well. Target swipe. Savoring a micro moment of awesome. One of the new protocol recommended target swipes. But check out the Heroic app. That's not quite what I want to talk about today. Today I want to talk about how we are moving from theory to practice with the whole win or learn ideas we talk about so much. First, a little more context. As we've discussed, Emerson got really into chess about seven months ago. He spent hours and hours and hours a day hanging out with Fun master mike@chesskid.com who is incredible as in from my perspective, one of the best teachers in the world. Incredible. Now Emerson entered his first informal tournament and won something like three games and lost two. Then he entered another informal tournament and almost won it. Then he entered his first real tournament, the Texas Regionals and won the Novice division. Then we went to the state championships. So Emerson and I are dominating our new chess tournament protocol. That's like us. Of course we did our best to get great nights of sleep. We packed all our own food so we could eat well. We meditated to mommy's seven minute peak performance chess visualization meditation and we rocked out to her one minute chess declarations before each match. We even invented a new workout called Skippy Ball in which we side skipped across a huge empty parking lot while tossing a little ball to one another as I tried to Find a way to make our 30 minute AM workout fun. It worked. He loved it. So it's Sunday afternoon. Emerson is 60 as he heads into the final match of the tournament. If he wins, he'll be the Texas state champion for his JV division note. I started sweating a bit just typing that seriously feeling into how I felt waiting for him in the car. After sending him off with a hug, after walking into the room whispering into his ear. Breathe in through your nose. Chest up, chin down, Calm, confidence. You've got this, buddy. Let's go. So I got off a FaceTime call with Alexandra and reflected on how I would practice my philosophy and make sure that he felt really supported whether he won or he learned. Then it hit me. Every time he lost before we immediately 1, 2, 3'd it, celebrated what he did well, reflected on what he could have done differently, and then made a commitment to use that wisdom to play differently next time. And each of the times he truly did learn the lessons he learned and it directly led to him winning as a result of the learning opportunity. I wanted him to see the connection and that it truly is win or learn. And then you get to win from what you learn. So I made a little note file thing on my iPhone. Title chess. Top learning wins. Then I typed we win or we learn. And learning is winning. So we love the winning and the learning. Ohms obstacles make me stronger. Let's go. Here are the first top learn to wins so far. Just to give you some context, Learning win number one. We lost. What did we learn? Well, it was the very first informal tournament and after accidentally touching a piece, his opponent said he had to move that piece. He didn't know the rule that you can say if you adjust and he didn't know the rule that you could also call the tournament director over. And he lost that game because he felt like he had to move the piece. And then he cried. Well, the learning win is this. On Saturday and Sunday at the state chess championships, an opponent said that he needed to move a piece that he didn't need to move. Now he knows the rules. So he literally raised his hand and brought the tournament director over. He had zero fear about it and he was right. And he won the game and we celebrated it. Now look, he lost. No, no, no. He learned and then he won. We made the connection. Learning win number two. Well, the loss to learn was this. He felt tired. In the final game of the second tournament he played. Had he won that match, he would have won the tournament. He lost the game and he cried. Now the learning win here is. We decided that we do our best to make sure that that was the last time he'd be tired. In his final match, we started dominating his fitbit and he went beast mode with our energy protocol before, between and during matches. And then he felt super energized throughout the tournament. Now learning win number three as we wrap this up. The loss equaled a learn like this in his first official tournament, the regionals. He an opponent badgered him to accept a draw, asking him over and over and over. And he finally did. When he was up a couple of points, he accepted this guy's offer for a draw. And then he cried. It was the only game he didn't win as he won the championship of that particular tournament. Now here's the learning win we already applied. An opponent offered a draw in the state championships. Again and again and again he refused and he won that game. And now he knows that an opponent offering a draw is showing weakness and a fear of losing. With rare exceptions, that's a trigger to be aggressive and win. So as I experienced the wonderful eudaimonic joy of waiting to see how my beloved 10 year old son did in his big match. I'm prepared to win or learn. And Emerson comes out beaming. He'd won the match. Awesome. We celebrated. Then we made the connection between each of his losses and how they directly led to his learning wins. And that is how we move from theory to practice to aspirational mastery on one sacred weekend in which the game of chess gave us an opportunity to play the ultimate game of life. And that's today's plus one. You got kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews. How can you practice your philosophy a little more in your life and help them practice it a little more in theirs? We win or we learn. And learning is winning. So we win or we win. Day 1 All in with love. Let's go heroes. Here's some pictures of me and the big guy.

We hope you enjoyed today's heroic one. For more ancient wisdom, modern science and practical tools to help you flourish in energy, work and love, head to heroic US where you can get started on your heroic journey for free.