Lessons for Living: By Phil Stutz (Heroic +1 #1688)

Brian Johnson shares five core truths from Phil Stutz's Lessons for Living: life includes pain, the future is uncertain, accomplishment requires discipline, you are not special, and these won't change. After 451 coaching sessions over seven years, Johnson calls accepting these truths the path to transforming your relationship to suffering.
Questions this video answers
March 5, 2024
Nearly 451 one-on-one coaching sessions over the last seven-plus years (weekly and twice-weekly for two years).
A stack of 1,500+ pages of notes.
"What Only Adversity can teach you."
The Tools and Coming Alive.
Chapters
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another Heroic plus one. As you know, if you've been following along, I love Phil Stutts. No human being has had a more profound impact on my life than Phil. I consider him my spiritual father and feel blessed to have had nearly 451 on one coaching sessions with him over the last seven plus years. Nearly every single week for over seven years and twice a week for two of those years. Now my collection of notes from those discussions is by far my most prized and valuable possession. To put it in perspective, if you told me I could have that stack of 1500 plus pages of notes or the thousands of books in my library, I'd take my notes with Phil in an instant. And as I was reading his newest book, Lessons for Living, I I was struck by the fact that this might be as close as anyone who hasn't worked with Phil directly will get to working one on one with him. His first book, the Tools, remains one of my all time favorite books and I loved his second book, Coming Alive as well. Check out our notes on both. But this book is different. It's pure Phil. The book is packed with big ideas on how to embrace, as per the subtitle of the book, what Only Adversity can teach you. If you're a fan of Phil, I think you will absolutely love the book. Got a link to get a copy, just go look for lessons for living on Amazon or wherever you buy books for. Now, let's take a quick look at the very first words of the book. Phil starts his book by telling us, and I quote, our culture denies the nature of reality. It holds out a promise that you can live in an ideal world and where things come easily. A world in which unpleasant experiences can be avoided, where there is never a lack of immediate gratification. Worse, it suggests that if you do not live in this world, something is wrong with you. This ideal world is a realm of illusion. No matter how promising this world seems, it does not exist. He continues by saying, be honest. Your own life experiences have been far from ideal, but what you have experienced is what is reality, not what you would like to experience. In short, the nature of reality is this. Life includes pain and adversity. The future is uncertain. Accomplishment of any kind requires discipline, and you are not special. No matter what you did, you cannot avoid these aspects of life. And he concludes by saying, this will never change. There is love, joy, surprise, transcendence, and creativity as well. But these never occur separately from the above five points. End quote. So the first truth of Phil's work. It's the first noble truth of Buddhism as well. Here it is. In short, life is hard. Denying this simple fact of existence and telling yourself the story that life shouldn't be hard is arguably the greatest obstacle to your enjoyment of life. When we quit arguing with reality and quit thinking something must be wrong with us because we're experiencing life's inevitable challenges, we can change our relationship to all the pain, uncertainty, and hard work inherent to a good noble life. When we do that, we can fundamentally and permanently change our lives. Now, just to make sure, the five points are tattooed on your consciousness, and let's repeat them. First, life includes pain and adversity. Second, the future is uncertain. Third, accomplishment of any kind requires discipline. Fourth, you are not special. No matter what you did, you cannot avoid these aspects of life. And fifth, this will never change. That's today's plus one. If you feel so inspired, perhaps you can find a piece of paper and a pen and write those down right now just to make sure they're landing. Today's the day to move from theory to practice to mastery as we embrace the lessons only adversity can teach us. Day one all in. Let's go hero. P.S. i have some of my favorite heroes on my office wall. They are staring at me as I type this every morning during my meditation. I invite them to share some wisdom with me for that day. Ralph Waldo Emerson tells me, trust thyself, every heart vibrates to that iron string. Abraham Lincoln tells me, win the Civil War within your own mind. Marcus Aurelius tells me, play your role well. Joseph Campbell tells me, we train heroes. John Mackey tells me, love life and get heroic EBITDA Positive. And Phil tells me, your infinite potential exists outside your comfort zone. We love pain, uncertainty and hard work. Bring it on, PPS as you may also know if you've been following along, Phil wrote the foreword to my book, Activate youe Heroic Potential. You can read or listen to it as part of the ebook and audiobook samples. We've got a link to it. Check it out at Heroic Us Book.
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