PNTV: The Gifted Adult by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen (#91)

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome to Philosopher's Notes tv. Today we've got a great book, the Gifted Adult by Mary Elaine Jacobson. Fantastic book that I read several years ago, totally transformed my life. The basic idea here is the subtitle to the Gifted Adult is a revolutionary guide for liberating everyday genius. And it's specifically written to those of us who were raised as gifted kids. What happens as gifted adults. She says there's about 20 million in the US alone. And this book is all about and speaks to those individuals who have a passionate drive to make a difference in the world and might feel thwarted in the process. So the idea is, again, liberating everyday genius. Packed with big ideas. Highly recommended. And it's got amazing exercises in it that really helped me clarify who I am, why I kind of operate the way that I do, and how I can most powerfully expand and give myself to the world. Really, really good stuff. So we'll look at a few of my favorite big ideas, starting with the word genius. So she ties it back to Roman mythology and the fact that in Roman mythology, everyone was said to have their own guiding spirit, right? We've talked about this before, but everyone was said to have their own guiding spirit or demon, right, which was also known as their genius. Now, individuals, families, even communities had their own genius. So if anyone did anything amazing, it was said, whether it was rhetorical or artistic or athletic or political or whatever. If they did something amazing, it was said that their genius guided them. And I like to think of it as our genius is kind of like a little mini me, you know, that's kind of hanging out there that is helping us, is guiding us, and we all have it. Now, unfortunately, over time, the root of the idea of genius evolved into this concept that was reserved for a very select few. That person is a genius. And even worse, it was presumed to be for people who were born a genius. So we think that a Mozart was born a genius. We think that a. Who else? Bill Gates or Steve Jobs or an Oprah or a Bono or whoever. Leonardo da Vinci was born a genius. This just couldn't be farther from the truth. We're going to talk about this in a separate episode. But Mozart, all these individuals put in countless hours of work, which is a big part of liberating our everyday genius we're going to talk about. But again, the idea of genius is inherent to all of us. The question is, can we align with that essence, that force that's within us, or not? This book is all about helping us do exactly that. So first idea. She says, for an everyday genius, being fully alive entails two things. Number one, we need to be free to express ourselves fully. So number one, we got to be free to express ourselves. Number two, we've got to be dedicated to the betterment the world to the betterment of other people's lives. So two key aspects to the everyday genius. One, freedom to express ourselves. And two, a desire and a dedication to bettering other people's lives. Key components. Can't have one without the other, right? We need both of them to truly express ourselves. I mentioned here how other great teachers say the same thing. Martin Seligman, if you in his great book Authentic Happiness, which we cover in the Hundred notes, and Deepak Chopra in his seven Spiritual Laws of Success, which we cover as well in these episodes and in the notes basically say the same thing. First Seligman. So Seligman is kind of a godfather of the positive psychology movement. He said that if you want to live a happier life, you need to discover what he calls your signature strengths, those gifts that you have that are called signature strengths. You can find out what they are@authentichappiness.com Take the signature strengths test, find those out and use them often in your day to day life. If you do that, it's a very simple recipe for greater levels of happiness. It's Socrates 101, know thyself and live consistent with thyself. Right? You're going to be happier now. He says if you want a truly meaningful life, you need to know your strengths. Use them often for something bigger than yourself. You need to give yourself to the world, dedicate yourself to a goal bigger than yourself. That's the essence of a meaningful life. Which is what Mary Elaine Jacobson is saying here about the everyday genius. Now, Deepak Chopra says something very similar in his seventh Spiritual Law of Success. He says something beautiful. He says, when you combine the ability to express your unique talent with service to humanity, then you make full use of the law of Dharma, which is seven Spiritual law of Success is the law of Dharma, the law of purpose. So we've got to find a way to express our unique gifts in service to the world. Really, really cool stuff. And again, so many teachers talk about this exact same thing. So what are your greatest gifts and how are you going to give them to the world? It's what these philosophers notes are really all about. Hopefully you're getting a lot out of these in pursuit of that aim. So. So she's got some other great ideas. She talks about evolutionary Intelligence and the idea of multiple intelligences we go off on. And then we've got some formulas here. I'm going to leave for the note and I'm going to go into a couple other big ideas. First of all, she talks about the critics. We've got to have the confidence to silence the critics, those critics outside of ourselves and those critics inside our own heads, which tend to be the most virulent at times. So she has a criticism, a bunch of them, and then she's got a new response. These are three of my favorite ones. The criticism of an everyday genius often is, can't you just stick to one thing? The new response is, no, probably not. I love that criticism. Number 10 in her list is, why don't you slow down? The new response is going fast is normal for me. It takes a certain level of self awareness and confidence to have these new responses, which again is part of what this book is all about. And the first criticism number one is who do you think you are? It's often a criticism that I have in my own head that we hear from others at times. Who do you think you are to do this or that or to think you can do this or that? The new response is a humble everyday genius called to serve. Isn't that cool? Who do you think you are? But a humble everyday genius called to serve. Good stuff. Now this leads us to the next big idea. One of my favorite ones in this book and a common theme we talk about all the time, hard work. She says this. The difference between a creative person and a creative producer is hard work. It's really easy to be a creative person, to say, oh, I want to do this and I want to do that and come up with all kinds of creative ideas. That's a very creative person. But there's a big difference between that creative person and a creative producer. And the element that differentiates the two is hard work. I think it was Edison who said genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Once we're inspired, we've got to go perspire. We've got to go do the work to get things done. She also says that there's no point in, in dreaming and having a vision of what's possible. If we're not going to take action, what's the point? So we can talk about creative things? No, we're here to actualize what's there in potential. We're here to bring into our lives in actuality. So all these ideas you're thinking about go out and rock it. And as you do, that next big idea is a good one to remember. She says we need to remember to bounce back everyday. Geniuses have the ability to bounce back when we get going and we make the choice to go for it. Which is an incredibly courageous thing that we just talked about in the last episode. Was it two episodes ago? The courage to create. It takes an incredible amount of courage to go for it. When we do that, we're often going to fall against failure or mistakes. I have about a dozen awesome quotes here that are all about reorienting our relationship to failure. A couple of them. Robert F. Kennedy says, only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. Isn't that awesome? David Viscott said, in the end, the only ones who fail are those who don't try. So true. James Russell Lowell says, not failure, but low aim is crime. And Vince Lombardi says, in great attempts it is glorious even to fail. Then Thomas Watson, one of my favorite ones, says the fastest way to succeed is to double your rate of failure. Try things out. Don't live in your mind. Go for it. Try it out. Now you know it doesn't work. I call that checking the box. A lot of things I thought would be really cool. I tried them out and I'm like, no way. Check the box. Sometimes they lasted five minutes, sometimes they lasted five days or five weeks or five months. Check the box. I don't need to do that again. Been really helpful for me. And the final big idea is we're co creators. We're not doing this alone. Our job is to align with that universal spirit that wants to come through us. That's the genius, right? Let it come through us. Do the work to align with it and go out and rock it. There you go, the gifted adult. Hope you dug it. Look forward to sharing more with you soon. As always, have an awesome day. See you.