PNTV: The Heart and the Fist by Eric Greitens (#195)

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to Philosopher's Notes. Tv. Today, another great book, the Heart and the Fist by Eric Greitens. Eric Greitens is an extraordinary human being. Recently did another episode on his most recent book, Resilience, one of the best books I've ever read. We'll put a link to that below. Eric is part humanitarian and part warrior, hence the heart in the Fist. As a humanitarian, he served in Rwanda and Croatia and a number of other places, but Rwanda and Croatia, following the genocides that occurred in each of those places, and he experienced that. Then he went to Oxford on a Rhodes Scholarship, wrote a dissertation on humanitarianism and the importance of finding the strength in individuals as they're going through that trauma, rather than just providing aid and seeing the weakness and the need. See the strength. Pretty cool. And then he also saw that someone needed to help before the suffering occurred. You needed to be willing to use force to stop violence. So he went from Oxford and became a Navy seal. He became a warrior, someone who could protect individuals in need. Unbelievable story. Super inspiring. He's a good guy. I think you'll enjoy this book. End Resilience. I've got the Philosopher's Note with a bunch of big ideas, but enough gushing about him. First, big idea, Strength and compassion. So, our Heart and the Fist. He says, as I just said, sometimes you need to have the ability to bring force to a situation. The most compassionate thing you can do is to be willing to fight, to use a very simple word. And in the note, I talk about how Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun, says the same thing. Buddhist monk says the same exact thing. She says, if you only have the traditional concept of compassion, kind of the warm and fuzzy side of it, the nurturing side of it, you run the risk of having what she calls idiot compassion. Idiot compassion. Your compassion needs to be rounded out. It needs to have strength to it. And she shares a story about a captain. I think his name is Captain Compassionate Heart in this story. And a pirate decides to board the ship that the captain is leading with 500 people on it. And this angry pirate, who's called, I think, Angry Spearman, he's going to kill everyone on the boat. That's what he's going to do. So out of compassion, our captain kills him. It's the most compassionate thing he could do in that moment to protect this pirate from his own suffering he was going to create. And, of course, the suffering of everyone involved in their families. So this idea of not getting trapped in idiot compassion, being willing to have Some strength and be willing to set some boundaries and use force when appropriate is obviously the through line to this book, the Heart and the Fist. And again, Eric embodies it and demonstrates it in an extraordinary way, which is our second big idea. So this is a book in many ways about leadership and his experience as both the humanitarian and a Navy SEAL officer. And he talks about the fact that when he was trained as an officer, he learned that the number one leadership principle that he needed to learn was to set the example. He shares the story of leading from the front, whether that's physically and being the first one to end a run or whatever it was they were doing, or energetically. And just from his sense of character and who he was to lead from the front to be the change that he wanted to see. And we know this, we talk about it in different ways, but it's easy to forget that if we just do this, this and this, then we're leading. But the reality is the most important thing we need to do is to embody these ideals. Wallace Wattles had a great line. He said the world needs demonstration more than it needs instruction. You could say it needs demonstration, embodiment more than it needs leadership. That is leadership. So if we want to teach our kids how to do certain things, it's not what we're saying, obviously, it's who we're being, that's who they're going to be. And that extends to every aspect of our lives. So we want to remember, set the example and do an inventory and see where are you in integrity, where are you not, setting the example that you'd like to set for those around you. And as Robin Sharma said in his book the Leader who Had no Title, we don't need a title to lead. All of us are leaders. It's the whole point of all of these videos is to tap into that within ourselves. Third big idea, why quit? So he shares the great stories of his SEAL training. I'm always blown away by the physical and spiritual endurance. And he says, look, this wasn't physical training. This was spiritual training through physical means. And he shares the fact that they were up for I don't know how many hours during Hell Week. And just truly remarkable the level of stress, physically and mentally, they had put on themselves and how they were able to find energy when they were convinced they just had nothing left. They couldn't even bend down to untie their boots, yet they were commanded to continue on. They'd pick up their 50 pound rucksack and go run across the beach one more time. William James second wind idea that most of us never push ourselves far enough on our first wind to discover that we have this second wind. We have this untapped store of energy that if we simply pushed it, if we were willing to go to our edge and a little beyond our edge, we'd learn we've got a lot more energy than we may think. So he shares that in the context of talking about how the most people in his SEAL training quit while watching a sunset. So they're watching a sunset. They just had a gnarly day, but they're done with that day. They're actually reasonably warm, which they weren't most of the time. They weren't sandy, they were dry, which they weren't most the time. And they were watching the sunset. And of course, their officers were challenging them of, okay, guys, get ready for a long night. Right through their bullhorn and freaking them out. And more people quit while watching the sunset than at any other time during this training. So Eric was wondering, why did they quit? Why would you quit? At that point, it kind of makes sense, maybe if you're in one place, but why would you quit there? And the short answer to that long prelude is they let fear overwhelm their minds. They let it in and then they let it multiply. Then they let it multiply. And they imagined all of the horrific things that were going to come to them right at that moment. They were comfortable, but they were thinking about all the things that were in store for them and obviously thinking that they wouldn't be able to handle it. And he shares about how people dealt with that fear who didn't quit. And he has a bunch of stories, but a few of my favorites, he had people who said to themselves, oh, hi, fear, I see your back. Sorry I don't have time to hang out with you right now. I'm focused on crushing it. That's one way to look at it. When you feel your fear coming in, acknowledge it. See it, say, hey, gotcha. And as we just talked about yesterday, simply naming your fear moves you out of your lizard brain into your prefrontal cortex, where the power of the emotion dissipates. So playing a game where you're talking to your fear is a great way to manage your fear. Don't have time for you right now. I'm too busy doing what needs to get done. Then he shares a story about other guys who used humor. Some pretty funny stuff there. And then other people who would just try to go from meal to meal right so they just go from breakfast to lunch. That's just all they needed to do. I'm going to focus, go from here to here. We talked about that with Joe Decento's book, Spartan Up. He says your mind can't handle an iceberg of pain, but you can chip away at it. And if he's an ultra endurance athlete, and he says you can't think about the 26 miles you have left to run or the 126 miles, you've got to think about getting to the next telephone pole, getting to the next telephone pole. That's all you need to do. Get to the next meal. Right. Take the next step, be present. Right now, you can do anything for another 10 seconds. And then the third and final way of among many that he shared to deal with fear is the fifth big idea. We'll come back to some more, but it's to serve. If it's all about you and your pain and your suffering, you're going to struggle. But he said it's actually ironic. As a leader, he thought it was easier to go through the training because he didn't have the time to exclusively think about himself. He had to think about his men. He had to think about how they were doing. Oh, this guy. Seems he's having a hard time. I got to pick him up. Gets me emotional. As I say that, like, thinking about other people is the best way to deal with our fear. Don't make it about us. Don't make it about you. Make it about how you can be there for someone else. You can set the example. You can be strong on their behalf. It's not just about how you feel in any given moment. And he said the hardest time in the whole training was when he allowed himself to focus on himself. When he snapped out of that and got back into the mode of serving and being there for his team, his power came back. Huge idea. Think about that. If you're thinking about quitting, use any and all of those tactics and have your clear outcome and be absolutely committed. I hung out with some rangers a few months ago. The guy who heads the Ranger school with one of my friends, who is a Ranger, military intelligence guy, etc. And one of the guys said, look, I went in and I was absolutely committed. I was either going to finish or die. There was no other option. So when fear came into his mind, didn't matter. It was closed. There was no room for it because he was so absolutely committed to making it happen. Powerful way to approach things. All right, we're going along here. But phronesis, it's a great Greek word which basically means practical wisdom. Phronesis, practical wisdom. It's a combination of knowing what to do and what's worth doing. Practical wisdom. We don't have a direct English translation. There's knowledge and common sense. But this is something deeper. Phronesis, the idea of knowing what to do and what's worth doing. It's the hallmark of good leadership. Right? Practical wisdom, that's what we're trying to cultivate in these talks, is moving from theory to practice. Can we integrate these ideas so we actually have a deep embodied sense of wisdom, not some sot. Hey, we can talk about ideas, but we don't do it. Sense of wisdom. The fifth big idea is to serve. Eric has an organization he runs called the Mission Continues, where he integrates his work as both the humanitarian and the warrior. He works with disabled veterans and helps them recreate their lives. And just as his dissertation was about finding strength in people who have been through challenging times, he finds strength in his disabled veterans, who he serves, whom he serves right. And he says, it's awesome that we thank veterans for their service. And these are guys who have lost limbs or lost their sight, significant challenges that they've faced. And he says it's great that people are thanking them for their service, but what we really need to do is tell them that their service isn't over yet, that we need them at home in the US as much as we needed them on the front lines, that they need to create a new frontline way to serve now. That's how we create and recreate our purpose when we lose it. So if you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed in general, or anytime you do in particular, which we all do at different times, find a way to serve. Find a way to give your gifts to the world in the most small ways to the more significant ways. But don't overwhelm yourself with, I've got to get it all figured out perfectly. And then when I've got that holy grail discovered for my purpose, then I'll serve. Find ways to serve. Right now, it's the most powerful way to align with a bigger purpose and to be the leader that we want to see and to demonstrate practical wisdom and to not quit. If you're thinking about quitting, get out of yourself. Think about how you can serve. And remember that we need to balance strength and compassion in our lives and with ourselves. We're compassionate. We're also willing to draw boundaries and say, that's not okay. I'm going to go to war within myself to win this battle. Socrates said, there's no greater combat than the battle between the highest within ourselves and the lowest within ourselves. The deep spiritual root of jihad is the holy war against our lower self. The lesser holy war is the one that we hear about, but the greater holy war is that within ourselves. That's what the Bhagavad Gita is all about. The battlefield represents the battle going on within ourselves. Let's bring the heart and the fist to our process of making a difference in the world. Hope you enjoyed and I look forward to sharing more with you soon. Have another awesome day. See you.