PNTV: You Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt (#319)

Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to Philosopher's Notes tv. Today we've got another great book, you Learn by Living by Eleanor Roosevelt. You Learn by Living. Subtitle 11 Keys for a More Fulfilling Life. This is the 50th anniversary edition of this book. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote the book in 1962 years before she passed away at age 78. It's amazing. Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady for 12 years and one of the most influential and powerful and loved women of the 20th century. This book is fantastic, beautifully written, tons of big ideas. Philosopher's Note with a number of my favorites. Let's start with Big Idea number one. She calls it the Great Enemy. Chapter number two, fear the Great Enemy. You may know her husband Franklin D. Roosevelt's quote, the only thing to fear is fear itself. Well, Eleanor Roosevelt tells us every single time we experience fear, we need to stop and look it in its face and then do what needs to get done. She was a super timid and shy little girl and young woman and she systematically conquered her fear one step at a time through a ton of self discipline. As Ralph Waldo Emerson says, always, always, always, always, always. And he uses that many alwayss. Do the thing you're afraid of, stop, look fear in the face and then do what needs to get done. She says when you do that, you're going to discover courage and power and strength that you didn't know was there before. And every challenge you overcome, Joseph Campbell tells us, you get to swallow all of those demons, all of those challenges that you face and overcome, you get, get all that power. You become so much stronger than you were before. But if you don't stop and look fear in the face and just kind of run the other way, you're going to lose your confidence, you're going to lose your power. So stop, look fear in the face and then move through what needs to get done. We talk about this with the tools guys all the time. They say you got to know that all of your potential exists on the other side of your fear. Knowing that, reverse your desire. Rather than want to get away from the fear, start, say bring it on, go right through it every single time and you will develop an extraordinary level of power. That's one of the keys to learning by living. If you're constantly going into your comfort zone and unwilling to experience that discomfort, there's no possible way you're going to reach your potential. So remember, always, always, always, always do the thing you're afraid to do. Second big idea is to be useful. She tells us. Look, anyone who goes after happiness by itself and for themselves exclusively, is never going to find it. Happiness is a byproduct of committing yourself to something bigger than yourself. In the note, I quote Nietzsche and Viktor Frankl. Viktor Frankl has that amazing line in man's search for meaning where he says that happiness cannot be pursued, it must ensue. It's a byproduct of committing yourself to something or someone other than yourself. We need to remember that Nietzsche has a great line. He says, one should not seek to enjoy unless one gives joy. Focus on giving joy. If you focus on giving joy, you will get all the joy that you need to have. But if all you're doing is trying to figure out how you can create your ideal life and it's all about you, you, you, you, you, happiness will elude you. It cannot be pursued, it must ensue. It's a byproduct of you committing yourself to something bigger than yourself and finding a way to be useful. This is one of those opportunities to look outside the world, outside of yourself, at what the world needs. Match that up with what you most enjoy doing. Boom, there you go. That's how we discover and live our noble purpose. Then we've got Eleanor Roosevelt's Time Management 101. She shares four big ideas. She actually shares three, then adds a bonus one on how to manage your time. She has a chapter on time and how important it is for us to step into and master the process of how we show up daily. So the first thing that she says we need to do is we need to know how to calm our minds. We need to be able to work and have a calm mind, regardless of what's going on around us. Whether we have physical distractions in our immediate environment or the world is happening in a very stressful way, we need to be able to turn that off, turn off our own thoughts and be calm. Step number one of time management, she says. And then the second thing is we need to be able to concentrate on one thing. She says, you can do something in 15 minutes. That will take you 30 minutes. If you distract yourself, just focus on one thing, turn off all the distractions and get to work. The third aspect of her time management is to have routines, which is what we talk about all the time systems, right? If you have to figure out what you're going to do every single morning, you're going to be at a disadvantage. To those who say, look, this is when I'm at my best, this is what's most important. So I'm going To match when I'm at my best with what's most important and do that and make it a routine. She says she has routines and plans. She tries not to be too rigid. You got to have some flexibility, but you do need to have some consistency. Those were her three. Then she says, you know what, there's probably a fourth, which is my health, my energy levels. Now she's the niece of Teddy Roosevelt who had world class energy, right? The descendant of other individuals who are super vital, right? But she learned early on that she has to do common sense things energy wise if she wants to be able to use her time most wisely. If you're feeling sick most of the time or tired or drained, you're not going to be able to do much. Even if you can calm your mind and concentrate and you do have routines. This is why energy is one of our core fundamentals. You're not going to reach your potential if you don't have a super strong foundation. Eat, move, sleep, etc. That's Eleanor Roosevelt time management. 101. Fourth big idea is another really good one, perfection and reality. She says that we need to have really, really high standards and go for perfection while embracing reality and the fact that we're never actually going to achieve perfection, which is pretty much exactly what Tal Ben Shahar says in the Pursuit of Perfect. I'm actually preparing for Conquering Perfectionism 101. And this is going to be one of the key themes. Talbin Shahar says that psychologists tell us there are actually two different forms of perfectionism. There's an unhealthy form of perfectionism and a healthy form of perfectionism. The difference between the two is that the unhealthy perfectionist actually thinks they can be perfect. The healthy perfectionist strives for perfection. They have really high standards, but they know they're always going to fall short. They embrace reality, but they don't get rid of their desire to strive for perfection. John Wooden says you got to keep that, go for perfection, knowing you're never going to hit it. But then today, see if you can get just a little bit better. And if you get a little bit better today and you get a little bit better tomorrow and a little bit better the next day, he tells us. JOHN WOODEN those little things aren't a big deal, but pretty soon you've got a big deal. It didn't happen overnight, but you're moving toward it. And the way you do that is you try to make today a masterpiece while embracing the reality that, that you're never going to be perfect. It's asymptotic, as Dan Pink tells us in drive. So there you go, perfection plus reality. I can't wait to share my top 10 favorite big ideas on that in Conquering Perfectionism 101. But for now, the fifth big idea. Eleanor tells us that we need to approach all of life as an adventure. She's all about living life to the hilt. She says you got to get rid of your fear so that you can truly explore life and be curious and go for it and quit being so concerned about yourself and how you're coming across and focus on being useful. And when you do that, then you don't want life to be, you know, all mapped out. She says it's like a flat plane that goes forever in the distance with no obstacles, no change in scenery. She's like, if you knew you're gonna. If you knew everything that was going to happen, that'd be boring. You need to look at life and everything that comes into your life, good and bad, as an awesome part of your adventure. She says, this is what I wish most, for the young children to be imbued with a sense of adventure, that everything in life is like being an explorer. Of course you're going to face challenges, right? But you face all of your challenges head on and you get stronger each step of the way. Antifragile style. But you can only do that if you approach life with a deep level of curiosity and passion and a sense of adventure. So let's do that as we go for perfection, knowing we're never going to hit it, remember our time management 101 tips. Be able to have your mind calmed on demand. Concentrate routine eyes. Systematize your life and get your energy dialed in and be useful. Figure out where what the world's needs intersect with what you most want to do. And let happiness be a byproduct of you crushing it. Viktor Frankl says just go for it. Go for serving. And then happiness is going to chase you and catch you without you even thinking about it. Always a good way to approach it. And then remember, every single time you face fear, you stop to face fear in the face. You gain courage and strength and power that you didn't have before. You move through that. Think about a time in your life where you had fear and you moved through it and think about how much stronger you are now as a result of those challenges. It's a powerful thing. You can now do more knowing that you dealt with that challenge. That's awesome. Celebrate that and then look at whatever fears you might have right now that are bubbling up. Realize that you just need to move through them. And then you're going to be able to look back, whether it's in a month or a year or a decade, and see this time in your life where you chose to move through it and how much better of a person you are and how strong you are because you chose to do that. Then make that a habit again and again and again, she says. Every single time. Stop and do it and build your confidence or erode your confidence. That is a quick look at you. Learn by Living I wish I could interview Eleanor. Alas, cannot. But I hope you enjoyed what was your favorite big idea. How are you going to go out and make that a bigger part of your life starting today? Get on that and have another awesome day. See you. Hi, this is Brian. I hope you enjoyed that PNTV episode. A lot of people don't know all the stuff I do beyond these free videos I share on YouTube. So I thought I'd do a quick video to give you an overview of our membership program that you can get access to. Get a ton of other stuff. So here's a quick look. 10 bucks a month Join the Optimal Living Membership program. You get instant access to 250 philosopher's notes on some of the best optimal living books out there. Old school classics, positive psychology, modern stuff, Mindfulness, peak performance, purpose, neuroscience, wealth, etc. And what you may not know is that in addition to the PNTV episodes, I create PDFs on all these great books. So six page PDFs with take a look at one of them. Joseph Campbell. You want to figure out how to live your hero's journey? 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