17 Dec 2025 · 3 min
Brian Johnson on Marsha Linehan's insight that real compassion means being effective at helping, not just feeling bad alongside someone. Practice your philosophy so you can actually give people courage when they need it.
"When someone is in distress, the best compassion you can give is to be effective in helping them."
Page 299
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another heroic one. In the last few ones we've been chatting about the fact that there are no perfect human beings nor any always motivated human beings. Tragically, you and I won't be the first perfect human beings and or always motivated human beings. Darn it. Now that we've accepted that reality, we can recommit to doing our best. Now as you may recall, we had fun with the wet dish rag theory of motivation, connected it to act, then brought Marsha Linehan back to the party to share some of her favorite Rilke wisdom. Today I want to go back to a little line I mentioned in a PS to one of the plus ones we did on her memoir Building a Life Worth Living. In the context of sharing her heroic journey from mental health institution patient to world renowned creator of the therapy that now helps countless people struggling with the same challenges she faced as a young woman, Marsha shared some really powerful wisdom. She tells us, and I quote her, when someone is in distress, the best compassion you can give is to be effective in helping them. Now that's one of my all time favorite pieces of wisdom. I repeat, when someone is in distress, the best compassion you can give is to be effective in helping them. It makes me think of our distinction between compassion and encouragement. We get a plus one you can check out. And check out page number 299 in Arete, our book for the same basic idea. Both are incredibly important virtues, compassion and encouragement. But I think encouragement doesn't get enough attention. Here's the quick recap. The word compassion literally means to suffer with. The word encouragement literally means to inject with courage. Now to frame it up with Marsha's wisdom, we could say that the best way to have compassion is to be very good at giving effective encouragement. From my vantage point, one of the most powerful things we can do and one of the key ways we will change the world together is is to get really, really really good at practicing our philosophies. Such that we are more consistently living with more wisdom, discipline, love and courage. Such that we can get really really really good at helping others do the same. Remember, when someone is in distress, the best compassion you can give is to be effective in helping them. Here's to moving from theory to practice to mastery so we can change the world one person at a time. Starting with you and me. And the next person who needs our encouragement today.
