Brian Johnson explains what kids need from parents: to feel safe, seen, and soothed. He draws on his own childhood with an alcoholic father to argue that parents must protect children from physical and psychological harm while also giving them freedom to explore the world.
As a guy who grew up with a father who struggled with alcohol, that was a big issue for me, where a safety figure provided psychological harm and lack of safety for me. Your kids need to feel safe. They need to feel seen. When they need to be soothed, you can soothe them. And all of that leads to them feeling secure. There's a great metaphor Dan uses where we provide our kids with a sense of safety. We're a safe harbor. They can come when they need to be soothed, and they know that we have them. in their best interests in mind, we can take care of them. And they feel this sense of freedom. We're a launching pad for them to go out and explore the world. Now, one of the main things we want to think about with safety is you need to be the one who keeps your kid from harm, both physical and psychological. Of course, they'll face challenges, etc. But you do not want to be the one who is creating an unsafe environment for them, either physically or psychologically.
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