17 Dec 2025 · 3 min
Brian Johnson explores the "vulnerability hangover," that uneasy feeling after sharing something real about yourself. Brené Brown's TEDx talk initially felt like a mistake to her, then reached millions. Johnson says the hangover itself is a sign you did something that mattered.
Hi, this is Brian. Welcome back to another Arete one degree. One of my favorite ideas from my new book Arete activate your heroic potential 451 of my all time favorite ideas. Here's one vulnerability hangovers ever had. 1. Brene Brown tells us that what we all really want from other people is for them to be authentic. And that means we need them to be vulnerable. And guess what the last thing is that any of us actually want to be. Yep, you guessed it. Vulnerable. Which presents a little issue in our quest to create authentic relationships. The very thing we want and need from one another is the thing we have the hardest time giving. Which leads us to our plus one degree. Have you ever really put yourself out there and boldly expressed the best version of yourself and then woke up the next day wondering what in the world you were thinking? Me too. Too many times to count. Brene calls that a vulnerability hangover. And she tells us about one of her biggest hangovers. With beautiful irony, she tells us about the day she gave a little TEDx talk on her research on shame and vulnerability. She really put herself out there sharing her own challenges and struggles. She felt pretty good as she was giving the talk, but woke up the next day freaked out that she told the audience about her nervous breakdown and other personal details of her life. The talk was of course filmed and she immediately started imagining calling the organizers and having them delete the talk. If that didn't work, maybe she could somehow get it off the servers. There's no way she thought that she could endure having a couple hundred more people see her in such a vulnerable state. Fast forward a decade and nearly 100 million people have benefited from Brene's willingness to dare greatly and share her authentic, vulnerable self. Which leads us back to you and this plos ONE degree. How can you be even more authentically alive today? Let's stay grounded, of course, and see if we can wisely be a little more vulnerable today. And if you wake up tomorrow with a little vulnerability hangover, remind yourself that the feeling is a reverse indicator. It's a sign that something's right, not wrong. Here's to you being you, all of you today.
