Grief expert David Kessler says parents should tell children three things: tell the truth, name the disease specifically, and explain what happens next. An 8-year-old who overheard his father was dying asked who would tell his mom, showing children already know something is wrong.
Here are 3 things to tell a child when their parent is dying. Tell them the truth. Name the disease. Tell them what will happen to you and what will happen to them. We always want to tell the kids the truth. If we don't tell them the truth, they may hear it from someone else, and that just erodes trust with you. The first thing is naming the disease. You might say, I'm Dad. I have cancer and I have a type of cancer that I'm going to die from. Not everyone dies from cancer, but I'm going to die from the one I have. Tell them what will happen to them. You and your mom are going to continue to be a family or you're going to live with Aunt Betsy. Kids need to know there's a plan for them. I worked with one family where the mom told me, Do not talk to the kids. We're not telling them anything. At a certain moment, I said, could I just have some time with your kids, maybe with your aunt present to see if they have any questions? She said, sure. We went in the room. I said to the kids, do you have any questions? The 8-year-old said, Daddy's dying. Someone's got to tell Mom. She's the only one that doesn't know. Kids are smarter than we think. Let me know your thoughts and follow for more information and support.
