Ep 13: The Evolution of Authenticity with Idalia Salsamendi: Building a Personal Brand in the Digital Age (Part 1)

The following podcast is a Dear media production.

Today we're so excited to welcome a very special guest and longtime friend, Adalia Salsamendi. Adalia has been a trusted collaborator of ours for almost a decade and she brings over 20 years of experience in helping entrepreneurs and creators thrive in the digital space. As the CEO of her own consulting agency, she is a true expert in crafting impactful strategies that drive long term success. This is part one of our conversation where we reflect on how our journey together began and how the digital world has transformed along the way. Be sure to tune in next Thursday for part two of this incredible discussion. Dalia, we are so happy to have you on today. We have worked together for seven to 10 years.

Yeah.

Somewhere in there, almost a decade.

Isn't that crazy?

Crazy.

It doesn't seem like that long.

Right?

It like went by really quick.

I feel like in the digital space, time moves so much quicker because even last year looks so much different depending on what was trending or.

I was pre Poppy and pre Elias. I was like, Jaden wasn't even on social media. That's crazy.

Yeah.

And we, we brought her into social media through the YouTube.

Yeah.

That was like the whole thing that we strategized about, like how to actually.

Introduce the family and telling more of the personal side.

Absolutely. And that's I think, where like the shift of Thrifts and Threads versus Brittany.

Xavier, for those of you who may be confused. I originally started my blog and it was named Thrifts and threads back in 2013. So when we started working with Adalia, we started working with Adalia for strategy. And that was the main. The shift of just focusing on posting my outfits, keeping it very. No one knew anything beyond that.

Nothing.

And I think that was really helpful at the time is sharing more of a personal side of what we value.

And well, especially as social media evolves, it became more personable because then you have more fashion influencers or foodies. But the audience wanted more. They wanted to know, okay, what do you particularly like? What is your family life like? Like that whole insight.

But you guys were pioneers in that. And I think that, you know, now it seems normal for an influencer to show their daily lives and to show their family. But if we really look back at like OG influencers, like y' all were just showing your outfits and like there's no video. There was no video.

There's no Instagram stories.

So I had you at the same time. I still, I'm still with Chriselle, them as well. But you know, both of you really, like, you know, something that was really important for me and knowing where the industry was going was, hey, let's show a little bit more. Like, how comfortable are you showing? Right? And everybody has a different comfort level. But what feels authentic to you, and obviously Jaden, like, is such a huge part, if not the biggest part of your life at that moment. It only felt natural to say, see, like, okay, how do we introduce this beautiful little child into your storyline?

And with keeping it very. We're very balanced with it. Like, we're not respecting the boundaries. We're not pulling her out of. I think that was always the big thing with me, is I didn't want it to be that we're filming and she doesn't want to be filmed. Like, I felt like it was very much, like, coming together and doing it in a very respectable way.

It still is. I get people always asking me, doesn't Jaden want to be an influencer? This and that. Jaden is such a normal teenager. We try leave her to cheerleading. She cool. It's awesome. But it's really refreshing, and it really speaks to your kind of parenting of, let the child be the child. Let the teenager be the teenager. That is such a. A delicate, delicate balance that you guys do beautifully. I'm not only saying this because, you know, it's on the podcast, but, like, I even say it, like, with clients and just behind the scenes, it's, you know, you really do let your children be children, and that is really, just really, really, like, exciting and beautiful to see. So kudos to you guys.

Thank you. Well, question. If someone was trying to start this now. Yeah, I mean, we started in 2013. Do you think it's too saturated? I mean, the same thing can be said for the podcast, right? Like, we're starting the podcast, and podcasting has been really popular for a while. But is this something that. I'm sure you get that question, too.

Yeah, I mean, you probably. Yeah, that's probably the number one.

Number one question.

Is it saturated?

But that's been, like, that question for years. I mean, you go back five years, someone's asking, wait, is it too late for me to get in? Is it too late? And so, I mean, if they started five years ago, who knows where they would have been by now?

Well, we were talking about this weekend. Like, you started about, like, three years after, like, the OG OGs, but now you're OG cause you were an early pioneer. And even back then it was like, is there space for more to answer your question? Is it Over. Is it too oversaturated? No, there's always opportunity. I think something that has really evolved in this industry is the educational aspect of the business. And I think that's really, really exciting. That's something like my agency, Dalia Inc. Focuses on is educating strategy. You know, because before an influencer, I mean, you know this, you would jump in and you would kind of like it was the wild, wild west, right? What works, what doesn't? And you would have to kind of.

We had our rate cards and we.

Were just throwing it out there. And in today's society, like, there's a lot more structure, you know, there's a lot more solid agencies out there that can represent talent. So in a world of oversaturation, yeah, you could say it's oversaturated. That, like I always say it's. It's very oversaturated. But how many of those people within, like that oversaturation are really educating themselves about what this business is? How many are really being consistent in the type of content and the type of like, just overall, like product that they're. They're putting out there? Like, even if themselves is, you know, they themselves is a product, it's just like anything else in life. Are there too many doctors? I don't know. But how many have. You know, you need a PhD, you need to go to college, you need to like, understand the body. You need to have a professional, you need to find a niche so you can relate the influencer world to just any sort of career degree and say, are you going to be dedicated? Are you willing to put the time, Are you willing to sacrifice? And are you willing to get educated? Like, that's literally all it comes down to. If you are really to do that.

Like, you're educated in what ways?

Understanding that this business isn't. I always say, like, let's go with the rules, not the exceptions, right? Yes. There are people that blew up overnight and they got a 5 million followers and now they're making $5 million. That's not typical. Right? And I feel like if your eyesight is only on that, you're severely confused about how this business works 1000%. So when we're talking about education, we're really understanding, okay, what is a media kit? What are you just used to yourself? What's a rate card? How much should you be charging? Do you need an agent or do you not? Should you be working for a brand for free or should you be charging? And at what point do you do that? You know, what is the Sustainable outcome and growth process to a career. How long does it take? I mean, I have spoken to influencers that quit their day job because, you know, they made 10,000 that month. And it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, let's backtrack. You guys were smart. You guys understood, like that savings. You guys, you know, you said it in past episodes. Majority of people don't know that you.

Quit with a dream. You have to be realistic.

Totally. And think about actors. We're in la. An actor. You need acting classes. Are you a method actor?

You really have to admit, if you want to go on for sure.

And you need to understand the business of it. And I think that's really exciting with what's going on right now in the industry, is that you actually have the opportunity to educate yourself. Never before have you had that.

This is more of a roadmap.

Holy. Holy.

I also think you can bring in your own profession if you're really good at something. It can be something as boring as doing drywall. But there's a lot of creative people that they have a drywall company or just themselves, but they're posting videos and I mean, I catch myself watching them because it's like, oh, that's how the process is. But it's that visibility and you don't have to.

It's also marketing for yourself.

Exactly. And you don't know what that could potentially turn into. I mean, more sales for your company or it just. It's interesting because you don't have to do fashion. You can just do something that you're currently doing. You really sit out there. Yeah, exactly. And you just happen to be an expert in it.

You know, I have a friend who does insurance and his, like, his company's Instagram is just insane. Like, sales have gone up now there's like, people wanting to work for the agency.

Yeah.

So even something as like, I mean, sorry, boring as, you know, insurance policy and insurance company, like, they've done such a wonderful job using social media. And it goes to your point, Anthony. Like, if you do social media the right way, like right education, and one of it's huge.

Someone I love following is Jefferson Fisher. He's a personal injury attorney. But one of his most viral videos was how to Argue like an Attorney. And it's. He just films in his car talking about just ways to communicate with people. I think I've seen him and they're so engaging, they're so simple. And for him, he does it every day. He doesn't think that that's such good knowledge that me, if we're watching it, we're like, wow, this is so valuable. But something like that, just taking it very down to the basics. What is one misconception you see from people that are just starting this, where they work, where they, the workload work. It's like, this is not fun.

This is the amount of work that.

You have to put into it for one video. I mean, even we know that too.

Yeah. I think, you know, Brittany, it ain't all glitz and glamour. I mean, I think for every reel that you see or every like glamorous thing that you see, there's probably years that goes behind. And especially like when it comes to fashion week. And you know this more than anybody, like just a 10 minute sitting down at a fashion show could have taken three years of posting for free, taking meetings, going to events, you know, feeling like you're not good enough. So there's this misconception that there's like this overnight, like princess story and it just the like the extreme opposite. It's what's true. Like to get to where, you know, I think like the household influencers like to get to that point just it takes years. It takes years. And that's the most common mis. And I always say, like, Instagram is like your highlight reel. It's your resume, it's your cv. And not all of us show like the struggles it takes to get to where it is. And I don't think that social media was necessarily made to show the struggles. So that's like a separate conversation I can get into.

Like, I for one, I do not film myself crying. You won't see me crying on my page. Doesn't mean that I'm not crying.

Right.

But I think that there is like a delicate balance with sharing a little bit. But what I think about my page is like, I want people to come and have a positive experience and sometimes I don't want to see a bunch of people like crying or like really depressed about something. If the space of social media I'm going to is supposed to be positive for me, I go to other things. If I'm trying to read news articles or I'm in a different mindset for what I read, I'm very intentional with that. So. And I think social media can be very much overwhelming. Like you can see a really positive video and then something's really negative and you're just, you're trying to balance it all quickly as you're scrolling through.

I think it goes down to like personality And I think it goes down to authenticity. I think the people that do tend to be a little bit more, more emotional on social media will, will treat social media like a friend. Whereas people were a little bit more reserved or people on social media or people like you maybe are a little bit more reserved in person when it comes to trying. And I think that there's obviously space for everything. And I've, you know, I have managed and, and helped a lot of influencers that have done both. And it just comes down to authenticity. Does this feel authentic? And what I always say, like, don't present a problem unless you can present a solution.

I love that.

That is like number one. So if you're crying about something, if you're going through the throws, and trust me, I have, I have seen people go through the worst of throws. How are we going to get out of that? Like, what's the light at the end of the tunnel? What's that process? Because if you're not showing the light at the end of the tunnel, then then that's where social media gets into a really dark space versus like, and you know, someone like you. Like I was a single mom, you were a single mom, you were doing. And your story is, how did I learn to rise up from that? You know, what was the lesson that I learned? And how can I show single moms like, hey, you can do it. Like there is hope. Like keep fighting, you know, like keep doing it. Keep loving your kid. Like, this is worth the fight. That's the light at the end of the tunnel.

I love that. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much.

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3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com I do want to give a disclaimer that our strategy sessions are both Brittany and Anthony's. So when I say that I've worked with you guys, Anthony, you are.

I am on the call as well.

You are very active.

This is like a what say Anthony is because people always ask me what.

Do I even do.

People think that Anthony does his own thing completely because he's not as front facing as much but that's completely. Could not be further from the truth. He's so in the overall strategy with me and the big picture, and I do think of that as it takes a lot of work.

I think you guys are co. Like, the way that I've seen it, and I'm from the inside in, like, you guys are co. CEOs. You just happen to be the face. Like, that's just literally all it is. So you guys are running a government, you know, and it's true. Like, you're like, the crown, and you just happen to be Queen Elizabeth. Like, you're the face, but you are. You are. You are the system. Like, you're very much behind everything and anything. And I think something that's really cool about you guys is that you really are a team. You know, I've worked with other influencers where the husband kind of takes the manager role, and I have, you know, like, has to. Or, you know, maybe the influencer takes that, and the husband's like, you know, like, secondary. You guys are very, very equal. You just happen to be in front of the camera more. So anytime anybody asks a question like, what is Anthony? It's Brittany Xavier. And what's Britney Xavier Anthony, like, you guys really.

It's the opposite person, but behind the camera.

Yeah, totally.

Exactly.

You guys run a business.

Gone through moments of my life where I'm like, what am I actually? You know, what is my thing? We are in strategic coach, and they do these assessments and a big thing. And we also had you take the Colby assessment, and that was really eye opening for me because my score was very unique. As in less than 10% of people get that score.

What was it?

It was like a 6, 4, 4, 6. But basically, I'm a facilitator, so I help people figure out problems. I'm kind of that middle person where Brittany, I believe she was a quick starter. Very big, in fact, finding.

Yeah.

Which I. Which I know I'm the person that. Okay, I know you want to start this. How can I make it happen? How can I help you make it happen? You know, we get to the common goal. And I never really understood what my role is because I do a variety of different things.

You're the jack of all trades. I feel like no matter what, you can figure it out.

And I always felt that I needed something like, what is my one big thing that I'm really exactly calling? Or like, oh, Anthony's really good at this particular thing. And I thought that that's what I always needed. But after Knowing my Colby score and understanding. No, I'm just someone that kind of helps everyone work together. Like, I'm the guy you want to bring into a team to kind of mend things and figure things out and help facilitate.

So that's why I love being married to you.

Yeah. I just. You tell me what to do, and I'll do it. Yeah, right.

You'll figure.

But you, like, your goals are. Your goals are the same.

Exactly.

From the start, from working with you guys, it was never like, Brittany's going to do this, and Brittany, like, it was never like a Brittany Xavier. It was, where are we taking this company?

And I like that we always work together in the sense of, what's the purpose, what's the intention? Because I do think that being in this industry, it can be very unfulfilling, especially if you're going into it for. We talked about the book Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Halda. I would love to have him on one day. But just keeping it back to your why of why you're doing this, and what is something that you have helped us with that by keeping it back to your purpose for all this.

When we're breaking down crying, calling you, what do you help us through?

I think when it goes down, like, obviously, we've had a lot of different shifts in your business, and you are very. I mean, you're very factual, Anthony. Like how you said you kind of take a step back from the box and you assess the situation. Where I come in is really saying, what do you want the end game to be? Like, what's the end game? And is. Is that endgame calling coming from ego, or is it coming from, like, a higher point? And listen, don't get me wrong, sometimes the end game may be ego. And you're like, I still want it, though, right? Like Fashion Week. Like, my dream has always been to sit front row at X. And that could be a little kid's dream, which you can interpret as ego or whatever. And like, yolo, like, I'm here to guide you towards that. But something that you guys, you know, that we've always brought it back to, what. What is it? Like, what do you want to do? And even bigger, particularly for you guys, is what's outside the influencer space. Because if you are just dependent on what's going on, little boxes on your phone, like, you are in trouble. That is not sustainable. Right. So how do you build a business like how you did off of social media, and how do you expand that into other avenues? How can you really create a lifestyle for yourself to. That's not dependent on those little boxes. That's not dependent on brands calling you up for a deal. And that's something within the past seven plus years of working together, we've been able to sort through that's been like, my personal, like, what I love about you guys, it's like the growth factor and that you guys aren't. You guys aren't obsessed with social media. You very much have your lives and social media is very much your business, and you treat it as such, Right? Yeah.

And that's something that's like, really helped me, kept a balanced mindset about it. It's not my full identity, even though it's what I do. In the same way that I think someone, if they were a nurse or if they were a lawyer, they would think the same thing. Like, that's not what I am 24 7.

Yeah. And something like that earlier on. And you'll know what I'm talking about. There was one particular brand that would not invite you to Fashion Week. Everybody was inviting you guys know who it is. And I remember you came, you're like, idalia, like, what do I do? I said, move on. You're like, like, move on.

Accept it.

And.

And that was a good. That was such great advice. I'm like, I'm good.

Yeah. I'm like, britney, you have this, this, this. And you were just like, yeah, but this one. I'm like, but if you treat life that way, you're always gonna be a failure.

Right.

Like, what if we focus our energies on people that actually want you?

Like, and for me, I'm very much, I'm very much. When I have my mind set on something, I'm going to do everything I can. Best practices to get to that point.

Yeah. And I told you, move on.

Yeah, get over it.

Move on.

And that was such good advice.

Yeah. Yeah.

Living in the gap. And that's something that we've had to learn to the gap and the gain where it's. You have, you set a goal, and if you don't reach that goal, you're so focused on, well, I didn't, you know, I didn't get invited to that show. But you're not realizing, okay, from 0 to 100, you actually did 75. So you're kind of, you're living in the gap that 30 that you didn't achieve whatever goal you wanted instead of recognizing the 70 that got you there. And I think that had been imperative.

I have a little, like, analogy that I always Do I always say that we're like, little, like flies or mosquitoes, and we're inside someone's house. Right. And then like, God leaves the door open, but we're so, like, in the window tapping, like, have you ever tried to move like a fly from the.

Window to the door?

And you're like, come on. But they're so intent on going through the window. Like, anytime I talk with a private client, I'm like, girl, stop looking at the window. Look at the door.

Right?

You know, like, we're so focused on, like, why can I get this? Why can't I get that? Right? The gap that you don't realize that there's all these other gains, other gains. Like, you have another world outside of that. So I always love that little analogy because, you know, I talk to people, I'm like, stop being a bug on the window. Like, you're being annoying.

Especially if you're an entrepreneur or you own your own business, there's always these. Your ideas of success can constantly be shifting because you don't have.

Well, I think it's that you can always shift.

It can shift.

Well, if you set a goal, you reach it, but then by the time you reach that, you have a new goal that's even further. So you're constantly.

You just want this idea of progress.

Exactly. But even the amount of goals that you're setting, you're getting it. You're not taking the time to realize that, wow, I actually achieved this. I can celebrate. But our mind is already going to the next goal and the following goal. Instead of taking a step back and reflecting, like, look at the stuff that I've achieved over the last year instead of this one little, well, I need to meet this goal. And this goal, like, celebrate your wins.

Yeah. And also, like, realize that. And we spoke about this as well, that more doesn't necessarily mean more. Yeah. Like, you know, once you. I think, and especially in the world of, you know, influencing and content creation, you always want to make more money. You want more brand deals. And if you get sucked into the cycle of more, more, more, more, more, and not realizing, well, how am I investing my money? How is this really amplifying the lifestyle that I want to live? You know, how am I living authentically? You're going to get sucked into this huge black hole where there's never enough money, there's never enough jobs, because you're just taking, taking, taking, taking, taking, and you're not pausing to say, okay, whoa, what's going on in my life right now? And we spoke about this. You'd be surprised how many content creators, you know, burn through their money and they're not smart about it. And that's something I was really excited with this podcast coming on, is that you shared your journey, and it's like, you gotta be smart about this. You gotta educate yourself on what to do when that money comes. Cause if not, your lifestyle goes up. And guess what? You're back to plan one. You're back to the start. Because if you're making $50,000 a year and you're spending 50, that's the same lifestyle as if you're making 500 million and spending 500 million.

Right.

You're back to zero.

No, that's so true. And I think it's tempting in this industry because it's not like every two weeks you get paid, right? You have a bigger chunk payment. And it's not always the same exact payment. But I know for us, the very. I remember when we were at one of the fashion weeks, when we first remember, we were, like, really low on money at that point and stressfully low. And you. And we were with an agency who I won't name at the time, but he's like, you have to go to the agency and get our check. Cause they were holding out our payments. Right. So we hadn't been paid for, like, three or four months at that point. We're like, we really.

There's some funny business going on. Yeah.

Like, this is crazy. We budgeted. Thank God. We budgeted for, like. Like, emergencies. But it was at the point where he's, like, called me, right? I'm in New York, my very first fashion week. And he's like, you have to go in there and get the check. I'm like, this is so awkward. But I remember seeing that time because that was the most check I had ever seen in my life. Like, and I was going to the bank. I'm like, someone's gonna rob me. I was so. I was so, like, thrown off that I'm like, obviously, it was all. It was also, like, four months. But I remember thinking at that point, like, wow, that's like a big chunk of money. And so if you don't, like, you don't plan accordingly. You can get sucked into. These are these bigger chunk payments that are coming in, and you're just getting lost in. What's this happening right here instead of, like, future planning.

Yeah. There's so much behind it. Like, okay, you got to manage your cash flow. When they pay you, you obviously have to take stuff out for taxes like that lump sum, if you're not wise about it, it's going to go.

And if you're not reinvesting back in your business, you know something like when I do my, I do like once or twice a month, I do one on one, like, like random, like phone calls. And you know, when I say my rates, I'm not cheap, but 100% of the people I've worked with have doubled their income. Right. So there, it's an investment. And you decide whether or not you want to take that investment or not. And you know, one of the exploratory questions that I ask is, okay, well, where is. Like, let's look at your finances. Where is it going? And when you look at, you know, someone starting off in the business that may be spending it on like the new Bottega bag, because like every it girl has it. I'm like, bro, let go of the Bottega bag. Hire me for two months. Like, let me readjust your business. And again, it doesn't have to be me, but what are other resources that you could be doing to really further your business?

Right?

And like that, that all goes down to what are you doing with your paycheck? Are you eating it up or are you reinvesting it? Are you taking photography classes? Are you hiring the right people behind you? There are so many ways that you can grow in this industry. You really have to be smart about your money and sit yourself down, pay yourself last. You want to succeed in this business, put the business first. Really commit to it. Like, understand the paychecks are going to be scarce. Scarce. Suck it up and like, go forward. Like, go forth and conquer.

Right.

And that's universal for any anything, any business, any business category. Like, it's just not social media.

Yeah.

If you want to be an entrepreneur, yeah.

You can't go to university and take like how to be famous one on one. But I mean, not to toot my own horn, but it's. And again, it doesn't have to be me, but educate yourself. Like, it goes back to if you want to be a doctor, you have to go to med school. That just is what it is.

And I thought it was interesting. I went on a brand trip recently and we're at the table at dinner. And one of my rules, when I'm on a brand trip and I'm out to dinner, I do not touch my phone. I'm talking to people around me. Especially if I'm sitting next to maybe someone who started the business or it's Just nice to talk to people. If you're at the dinner, sit down and make the effort to talk to people. Be present. And one of the things I noticed with some of the younger people there was they were on their phone the whole time.

The whole time.

And I told Jayden after I said, I never want you to do that. She wasn't. But I used it as a learning lesson afterwards. And I said, did you notice the people that were on their phones? And that was super unprofessional. We're treating this as a work. This is your business. I don't want you. In general, if you're at a networking event, you're not on your phone, you're talking to the person, you're meeting someone, you're learning something about that other person. And she said she even noticed it because she knows how big I am about not being on her phone at dinner.

Just business etiquette.

Business etiquette in general.

I was at a very fancy dinner in Paris, and I won't name the brand, but it was a very big brand. And it was. I was sitting in front of the VP of the company, and that person was surrounded by content creators and influencers.

I can only imagine.

Not one person because she was a little older, Right? Like, probably my age at this point.

Right. Mid 30s.

She was a dinosaur.

Very early 30s.

She was 29. No, but she obviously looked. I mean, she obviously did not look like an influencer. She looked a little bit more corporate. She looked a little older. Like, she just, like. Yeah, I mean, same as me. And no one spoke to her. No one spoke to her.

I believe it.

She was sitting in front of me, but the table was so large, I couldn't have a conversation.

Yeah.

So what did I do? I got up, turned around, and I. And tapped on the influencer sitting next to him. Like, hey, do you mind if we switch? Like, oh, my God, thank you. You know, went and I literally sat with this VP for the night, and I got business out of that.

Right.

And I'm here thinking to myself, it's.

Just like, nice hearing the conversation. Like, learn a little bit.

Yeah. You never know who's at an event. And, like, the way that I was raised is like, you treat the president, you treat the janitor the same way. Right? Like, my mom has instilled that in me, and that's just who I am. So even just seeing one person in a dinner table not being spoken to, I happen to have known that that was the vp, but if not, I would have still made the Effort to be like, why is no one talking to this person?

Right. Because maybe they don't see, like, the benefit of it, which is just be socially aware. Right. Socially aware.

And that's where social media, like I always say social media is to be social.

Yeah.

It's not to be like, in your own little world. So put the phone down and like, if you really, really want to succeed here and in life, talk.

Because in general, if you're at another event and you can't talk to any, like, regardless if it's this industry or something else and you go to a mixer and you cannot talk to anyone.

Yeah.

It's. It's going to be pointless. I think this goes back to so much about just the relationship side that this business is. Like, most business people want to do business with those they connect with and they're. They trust. Right.

What do you feel is like some of the biggest challenges between within influencers and brands, some of the challenges that they face. Relationship.

Yeah, Great question. I think the current challenge, and it goes off what it's. There's this lack of communication. Everything's done via email. Sometimes we tend to be a little bit more short and quick on emails. When I email people, I'm always like, hi, your name. Hope you had a great weekend week. If I know you have a kid, like, how was the kid's soccer game? Just make it more personal. Like, no one wants to work with a computer. Like, just point blank. Like, so stop treating people like computers. It's different if, like, I'm texting you, like, hey, I'm here early. Like, I'm not gonna be like, hey, Brittany, how are, you know, like, we're fine, but in a professional setting. Just be professional. And I think that's something that we've missed is that we're treating like, I always say, like, influencers are not commodities. They're CEOs. And in the reverse side, when an influencer or when an agent is speaking to a brand, that person has their life. You don't know what they're going through. Just empathy, guys. Just have empathy. Be firm when you need to be firm. Absolutely. Anybody that knows me knows I'm a shark. But I will always show my human side. I will always pick up the phone and I will always listen to your side of the story. That's my job as a human being to, like, be correct to another human being. And that is something that I see that is lacking all the time. Like the way, like, sometimes the way I'm spoken to, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, you just graduated from university. I've been doing this since you were born. Like, calm down. Get on the phone. And like, I'm a human being.

Right.

And I will always treat you with respect, and I deserve to be treated with respect as well. Right. So I see that that's something that's. That's lacking the empathy and, like, just like that. The person behind the computer is a human. They have their Life stories, and 99.999% of the time, the way they're treating you isn't because of you. It's what's going on with them. Right. So, like, put the ego away, you know, and take a step back, take a breather, and, like, proceed accordingly.

I think I'm pretty good at doing that. There are times I catch myself because you're so in the thralls of everything going on, where I just need a quick answer. But I owe it with my editors or just anyone I'm talking to online, just like, how was your weekend? Or, hope you had a great weekend. Just bringing back to that human level, because I think that makes you stand out a lot more too, especially if you're working with a particular brand and that brand has such a great feeling with you because you know what's going. They know what's going on on the other side compared to another influencer who's just very short. They don't want. They just want it for the job, et cetera.

It's so transparent.

Yeah.

Like, influencers that just are like, hi, I want to work with you. What can I. Or like, hi. Or just throwing out a rate, like, that's not smart. Like, sometimes people creep up in my DMs, and, like, how do we work together?

What, like, no practice?

Or like, do you offer a discount? Oh, and they won't even follow me. And it's. What's interesting is that the people that I have come to work with, 100% of them have always written a formal email. Hi, Dalia. I really have enjoyed watching you. Blah, blah, blah. This is what my company's going through. Blah, blah, blah. Like, these like that for me, I'm like, wow, that's who I want to work with. That person took their time. The pitch was very direct. Caught my attention. Yes. Let's jump on a call, and guess what? Sometimes that call is free.

Right.

You bypass the rate. Because I'm like, huh? You have interesting. Something interesting to say.

Right?

So if they're doing that to me, they're probably doing that to brands.

You don't have to teach the basics of email etiquette.

I mean I have a class for that.

Well, it is interesting because especially if creators don't come from a corporate background where you're in a desk job all day and you are getting that constant experience on the job and you're getting thrown into this.

Yeah.

We've always taught Jaiden, part of your job is you need to check your emails, you need to respond in a timely manner and at least be present in what's going on. And don't have someone follow up with you three times before they need a response. The worst.

And it all goes back to oversaturation. Right. Is this industry to set oversaturated? Yes. But are you answering emails in a timely manner 24 business hours? Are your pitches being personal and are you being human? Right. Are you posting like we can go into like the creative of this industry where it's like, are you posting consistently? What's your why, what's the mission statement? But also look at it from a business point of view and when you really look at all the creators and who really is doing everything, very few. And the ones that they are, guess what are where you are at right now. They're successful because they do 99.9% of those things. They treat that as a business.

What are some other facets you look for when someone does reach out to you to work with you?

Hard work.

Why would someone be coming to you anyway?

People come to me for different reasons. I either get really young entrepreneurs that which I love. Like, I love when someone has like 10,000 followers and they're like, this is a and like they come very business oriented because I feel like that gives us a lot of room to play make. You know, I always say like it's a social experiment, like let's try this, let's do that. And that's where I do. Like my four to six month program versus my retainer, my yearly retainer. Like you and I also look so we have like the smaller. And then I also look overall at somebody that may have a business and they're not satisfied. They drank the Kool Aid and now they're like, this isn't working for me. It's not working for me. And you're making money but you feel lost. And I come in with purpose. I come in with that roadmap. And I think what's really cool is, and especially like you guys have been with me for a long time is you started with me and the reason you're with me is not the reason that you started with me. Right. Like, I get to grow with you. I get to grow with these influencers. And that has been my greatest pleasure and my greatest joy and my greatest honor. Like, you can come to me for one thing and I'll come. Like I'm on this ride, baby. Like I'm ride or die. Like you can. And you know this. Like, I am a vault. Maybe when I'm 90, on my deathbed, I'll have a tell all book.

I know you've got the most crazy question.

But I always say, like, what I see here, what I say here stays here when I leave here. And it's true though. It's true. It's true. Like you really can come to me with anything and like, I will figure it out. Both from an emotional point of view and also from a professional point of view.

It's nice to just have someone in general, whatever you're working on is like you need someone to be on a strategy side to see that bigger picture outside of your bubble. And Anthony and I are in it day in, day out. So sometimes we're not like seen outside of our own lens.

Yeah.

Different perspective and.

And also somebody in the industry, right?

Yeah.

Like I'm a dinosaur. I've been in this for over 20 years. So at this point, like, I know everybody, I know who's getting paid, I know who's not. I can give you, you know, if it's proprietary, obviously it can't. But as much information as I can share to give you a head, like a leg up in this industry, why not? Right? So it is for a strategy point of view, but it also comes. And you're very fact driven. Like, I'm like, Brittany, you know this client, like, should I do this? Well, this client doesn't have budget right now. They are paying these other people, but these other people have been with them for five years. They're only inviting two new people. I say yes because you're in there and once you're in with this brand, you're going to be awesome. Whereas maybe an agent will be like, they're not paying. No.

Right.

And I come in, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's the history? What's the context?

One tax is huge.

What's the bigger picture?

What advice would you give to someone who doesn't know if they are being authentic or not? How do you know if you're being authentic?

If you're happy?

Yeah.

Peace. Just peace.

So for more context, what if someone feels like they have to jump on. I know with all the political things recently, when brands jump on or. And it seems like sometimes like out of the blue, it's like, is that authentic? Or how do you. From a brand or creator standpoint, what do you know to. Okay, do I share something that someone's pressuring me to share?

Yeah, it's a great question. I was actually talking about it with president of an agency yesterday. You have to treat. If you're an influencer, you have to treat this as a business. That's number one. Right. Like, do you want your business getting involved in politics? Right. So that's question number one. And that could be yes or no. I don't care. That's the first question I asked. Want your business to get involved in politics. Are you aware of the platforms and are you willing to back yourself up on that? Are you willing to take the hate for it? Some influencers will say yes. Like, I really strongly believe in this and I need to be. My, my voice has to be heard. Goes back to authenticity. Or am I doing it because I'm drinking the Kool Aid? Whatever side of the equator that you're on. Right. And if you're doing it for the Kool Aid, what I would personally suggest to take a step back and reassess. Is this one of your three niches? Are these your pillars that you want to be talking about? And if it is, go forth and conquer. I am here for you and a lot of my clients are and I support them 110%. And a lot of my clients aren't like you. And I support that 110%. Like, you know what, that's actually not part of my.

I've never was a world news reporter when I started out and I don't intend to be.

Yeah, yeah. So just as long as you can back your shiz up, you know, and understand not every business needs to be in politics. And politics sometimes don't need to be. Doesn't need to be in every business. That's a personal decision you need to make and that's a professional decision you need to make on both accords and.

Have an intentional plan about it before you get to that point. Yeah. Like think about what you want to. What that is before you get there.

And be fearless in that. Like if you're educated, like go, like, use your voice for good.

Right.

And again, like you may have altering opinions and that's the beauty of this country. Like, right. And we need to be a little bit more empathetic towards each other to.

Listen, I think a lot of people don't even want to have the conversation. Like, if they think that they're being disagreed upon or there's a debate happening, there's no healthy communication about, like, this is what I think. This is what you think. Okay, cool. We can agree to disagree. But still having that conversation. But I think there's, like, less and less of that now. It's, like, very hostile.

Yeah. Just listen.

Yeah.

Because this industry is very unique and it takes a lot. And there's been moments where even early in the career where you have negative comments or you're getting burnt out. How do you navigate just the mental health of influencers? Because I'm sure you've seen the ups and the downs, and I'm. We've come with you about certain downs too, as well, where it was just like, what are we doing? How would you approach that?

I love that. I do want to preface it by saying that I have anxiety. Like, clinical.

You're like, I am struggling.

No. And what I love about this journey is that I've been on the journey with my clients, and mental health is now probably the number one thing that I talk about when you know, like, whether you take an online course with me or whether you're a private client. I always say, like, I said it before in this interview, it's like, I'm here for you emotionally. This industry is not supposed to make you feel bad. It's not. It's just not. And if it is, you gotta dig inside and see what are the issues that you haven't dealt with. And it could be that you maybe don't feel like you're accepted in a community. Right. So let's dive into that. And what does that mean to you? Maybe you feel like you're being misunderstood. Okay, well, let's dive into that. Maybe you feel like you're not reaching your potential. Well, let's dive into that. The beauty of social media is that you get to work on your own time. Ish. Right. You're not bound to an office. You can travel. Ish. Right. Like, yes, there are sacrifices on a lot of them. On the other side, there's a lot of freedom in that as well. There's a lot of creative freedom, there's a lot of personal freedom, there's a lot of business freedom that you get to literally navigate as you best see fit. So when it comes to mental health, number one is you cannot compare yourself to people online. Like, and I know that. It's like you hear it all the time. And I sound like a broken record. And like, come on, Idaho, give me something more. No, like, just stop.

How do you not by using social.

Media as a tool, not as a depressant, right? If you want to go on social media, go like, fix the algorithm so that you are inspired, so that you're getting content creation ideas. You have to flip the mind switch. And I'm going to tell you a really great story, right? My mom's an immigrant from Cuba. My dad's an immigrant from Spain. They came to the United States. My mom literally with the clothes on her back. My dad was poor, right? And they were able to build a nice life for themselves. Middle class family, right? And my parents always said, like, when we would drive through like mansions, he's like, and I remember they always say, let these mansions inspire you. Don't let them break you down. Because you can get to that if you work hard and if you believe in yourself. So instead of look at these mansions saying, oh man, like victim mentality. Victim mentality. No, no, Fighter mentality.

I love that.

And if you treat that with social media, if you look at it, you're like, damn, I could do that. And if you say that with a smile, I can do that. I got this. Okay, what do I need? Versus oh God, that's not me. Like, what? And every, everybody's story is different. So like, enjoy your story. Let it unfold, let it unfold. And that all goes back and again, Taylor's oldest time, stop comparing yourself. But the peripherals on, go on your vision. And like when you see the mansions online, like, smile and say, I got this, I got this.

I like that a lot. We would face those similar challenges, I mean we've been doing for 10 years and like, oh, wait, why did that girl go on this trip? Or why are they working with that brand? And you can get caught in that mindset and it really does bring you down. It provides.

No, because then you're second guessing what you're doing is even the right path. There is no right path here. You're just trying to figure it out. But are you. You also want to be keeping yourself top of mind with brands too. So you want to make sure that you're doing the content you love while also making sure you're doing the content the brands love too.

And like a lot of people like, and something like to consider and this is, you know, I'll share some insider info, is when you go on a brand trip, most of the times you're not getting paid, right? So I Know influencers that don't go because they rather be at home working on a X dollar project versus on the brand trip. But somebody that doesn't know this industry can be like, oh man, I wish I was there. I'm like, do you or do you wish you were making $100,000? Because guess what? Then with that money you could pay for the trip that you want. Right. And you're not the mercy of brands.

So true.

So you really never know.

You don't know the behind the scenes.

Of what's actually happening such in your own narrative and the narrative you place on things that you see and it can really tear at you for sure.

And one thing I always remind myself is don't assume. So you see, whatever you see online is like, you don't assume your narrative is correct because you don't even know the behind the scenes. Only assume whatever they're putting out is like that correct information for that time.

Yeah, that's right.

I always do videos on TikTok where they're like, this is like so terrible. Or like complaining so much about this industry. And granted it's like, has its ups and downs for sure, but from being in a corporate job, like, like you said, we have so many freedoms that I am very thankful for and don't want to let go away because I've seen seen the other side too.

Yeah, I think it's a tricky situation because especially if you're growing up right, like because we're a little older now, but if you're definitely growing up with social media, there was a pressure that you need to have it and as well as businesses. Right. Like you kind of have to have social media. So it's no longer the do I have it or do I don't? It's more of like, how am I going in, like what mindset am I going into it with and how is it going to serve me? Like, you should not be serving social media. Social media should be serving you point blank.

What advice do you have for someone who is at home and not a creator, but a consumer of social media? They're just flipping through. They're not getting ideas to create content, they're just simply using it from the entertainment standpoint.

I mean, it is entertainment standpoint. Right. So are they also like context? Right? Like are they on Netflix seven hours a day or are they on social media for 15 minutes a day? Right. So.

Right.

What does entertainment mean for them? How is it serving them is an escape then okay, how long are you escaping for? But most Importantly, put the phone down and just like, focus on your life, right? And I will say that even, like, with people that watch a lot of tv, just turn off the phone and like, play a board game. Like, I go out to walks with my husband. I, you know, I read every night for an hour and a half. Like, that's just my jam. The less that we can be on social media or on anything and just going back to, like, who we are as human beings, I think society will be a lot better off. So for that person that that's a consumer, like, definitely, like, what's the ratio of that versus what you're doing for the rest in the rest of your day context? I think number one is very important. Number two is, you know, do a little research of what you're buying. I am the queen of reviews. I'm the queen of, like, youtubing everything. Like, I, I don't drink the social media Kool Aid. I don't go shopping online that much. I actually just bought mouth tape. But that's like a very rare exception. But I'm also old school in that, in that sense that, like, I like to go to stores and I like to try things on. I also live in a big city, so I have the opportunity to do that. If you don't, I think that's where social media comes in. Like, amazing. You have the resources, like, you have to use that. But again, how is social media serving? You don't serve social media.

I love that.

Thank you so much for joining us for part one of this conversation. We love reflecting on our journey together and diving into the evolution of the digital space. Be sure to come back next Thursday for part two, where we'll continue this incredible discussion and explore even more insights into building sustainable and authentic presence online. Until then, thanks for listening to the Long game. Don't forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this episode with someone who'd enjoy it. Episodes drop every Thursday on Apple and Spotify.

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