Do You Have A Toxic Complainer In Your Workplace?

Ever wonder why some complaints breed a feeling of negativity while some can actually look at it from a positive angle? Join us where we discuss the toxic behaviour of complaining, where some solutions dwindle, some complaints thrive and indecisions become pervasive within the organisation. With me to discuss that all is Peter. Welcome back. Hi Boaz, thanks for having me back. What is toxic behavior? Complainer.

Ah, the toxic.

And then don't complain to me.

Well, I think the best summation of a toxic complainer is essentially they're an energy vampire. They drain the energy out of any system or organization that they're with. The personality type is. We've all heard of the glass half empty type. Well, these guys are glass half empty and it's still draining fast, so that's kind of what we're dealing with here at the moment.

So why would a person behave in that way? What is the root cause, what's, what's the underlying that's driving that?

A lot of times it's because they see themselves in a position of playing what we might call the devil's advocate and that they see that as a respectable position to take.

The.

The practicality of what that happens is that everything is a. Everything has a negative. It is always something that they will say, yes, but, yes, but. And it becomes less a cautionary kind of interaction, it becomes more of a challenge to see what they can do to shoot the next one down.

Yes, yes. And what are the sort of personal, emotional, if you think of the psychological emotions that as a result of this behaviour, affects them personally.

Look, a lot of times it's a victim mentality. They have this incredible victim mentality, I suppose I can't put it any better than that. So a lot of times this is a protection mechanism where they are able to quarantine themselves from past losses, past experiences where things didn't go right for them, that sort of thing, but they then also expand that out to everybody else.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. And is there an area where that becomes more accessible, certain specific events or triggers or situations that sort of flourishes?

Absolutely. And one of the things that's interesting is that the influence of the toxic complain, it doesn't just have to be in a, in a like, say a meeting scenario. It can be the pencil sharpener.

Correct.

But everybody then starts living up to that standard by saying, well, you know, wait till we run this one past.

Yeah, correct, correct.

Let's take the scenario where you have a toxic complainer inside of a way forward meeting. We're going to create. We need to find a path through this and we're going to come up with some ideas. So in a brainstorming situation, the Toxic Complainer is absolutely. You're not going to get a result out of that because for every positive that you come up with, the Toxic Complainer will go yes, but. So you find a solution to that and then again you get a yes, but this is just a cascade.

Ever cycle of yes, but yes, but. So what are the sort of the short term ramifications but long term repercussions for an organization with a person with that type of toxic behavior?

Short term ramifications is that it can take a very long time to come up with solutions to problems.

Actually that was one of my next questions. Yeah, problem solving. Yes.

And you can ask that one again.

Yeah, I can, I will.

But long term it becomes the limiter, becomes the limiting factor in the, the way that this organization springboards forward. It becomes very hard to motivate a group when they're constantly thinking, like I said before, what's Charlie going to think about?

Yes, correct. Yeah, yeah, correct. So just to extend what we're just talking. So how does a toxic complainer affect problem solving in sort of more detail?

Toxic Complainer will never arrive at a solution. It will always be a fight to get to the solution. And at some point in time if, if you're faced with that situation, you're either going to have to go against the Toxic Complainers suggestions and just do it or constantly cycle through more and more. A toxic complainer won't ever resolve a situation.

And I suppose one of the things I was going to ask you on the side, which is basically some people might say, well maybe this person doesn't have the skills or the capability to solve the problem. But really that is not the issue here, is it?

And in a certain way they're right. Because if you deny yourself the ability to access those tools, then you don't have those tools. So the Toxic Complainer shuts themselves off whether they know they have the ability or not, but they shut themselves off from the tools that complain. Create the solutions.

Yeah. So moving on, in terms of how it affects the sort of the dynamics of the team, but specifically leadership and management, what would say you?

So one of the jobs of the leadership and management is to actually inspire and to rally the troops, to create a team spirit, to create a vision for the way forward, to create an energy. And it gets back to if you have a team that is there with you, whatever the Spectrum might be from disinterested to totally on board. There is an ability to create an energy inside of those team. If you have an energy vampire in that system, you are going to find that your ability to inspire a team to go out there and exceed what they believe is their limits and do things above and beyond. That just won't happen.

Yeah. Because.

The toxicity is infectious.

Yes. So talking about that in terms of infectious, what's the ability of an organization to attract people given their environment?

Yeah. So there. And look, if you're out in the job market, you've probably seen that, you know, people will say, don't go work there because of so and so on, so and so. There's a reputational issue with place. If such an organization were to attract a person who has the ability to make moves and do things that they're supposed to do, chances are that they won't put up with that environment for very long. And you might find you have a very high cycle rate of very talented people.

Yes, very much so. So morale would be most likely down. People probably not appreciate working in that sort of sphere of influence. Here's a side question from such a behavior, is it also seen as the benefit of the person who's behaving that way? Are they. Could people point to saying, well, he's just attention seeker?

Absolutely. And to a certain extent there is a payoff because the toxic complainer, taking the role of the devil's advocates, positions themselves to always say, should things go wrong, I was right. You should have listened to me.

Correct.

Which is a payoff.

Correct.

So it's all. It's always easier to take the negative because if something does succeed, then you can say, well, you were lucky.

Exactly. Yes. And we've heard that quite a few times.

We have. But if it falls apart, then you, well, I told you so.

Told you so. Here's a side question also. A positive person that gets employed. How does that team cohesion work?

Yeah.

Because they don't like that, do they? No, they don't.

Look, the positive person will either succumb to the infection, shall we call it?

Yes.

Or remove themselves from it. And in the middle of it, there will probably be people who are quietly thinking, he's not going to last very long, or gee, I wish I had the ability to say what this person is saying to like, well, he's not part of the team.

Yes.

So there's so many. There's such a range in that spectrum. But eventually that person, the positive person, will either succumb or get out.

Yes. Not a good environment if you come across it or you happen to be in it. So reach out to us if you need any help. So, with that, I want to finish up with what are sort of the key takeaways that form from this toxic complainant behavior that we talk about.

It's important to foster a team spirit within the organisation and while everybody looks to management to give direction, to set the beat and the tone, I think it's also with a toxic complainer, it's also down on the grassroots level. And I think one of the key takeaways is to actually not necessarily front this person, but be mindful that there are negative consequences and. And you don't have to line up with that particular energy.

Yes. Yeah. Is there any. Well, obviously there's responsibility, but sort of wonder whether management or executive that know that they have someone internally that behaves that way, whether they've got the capability or the skills to help mitigate the situation.

I was going to joke and say put them in the complaints department. Look, yes, there is a responsibility there. There are some organisations where it's impossible to let people go, which could be one option. I think finding a chair for that person or position for that person that minimizes their sphere of influence but also plays to their strengths is probably a really good situation. Is probably a really good situation.

So with that, thanks for watching. Our next video is called the Toxic Mistrust. So I look forward to seeing you then. Thanks.

Thanks.