Do You Have A Toxic Narcissist In Your Workplace?

Have you ever come across an employee that is so self absorbed, attention seeking extraordinaire, loves to inflate the truth? There's plenty more that I can describe it, but very much a me first attitude. Well, if so, then you've come across a person that is exhibiting a narcissist behavior. So with me again, we have Peter Nakra. Welcome back.

Thank you.

What do we mean by or define what is a narcissist?

To start off with, the first thing that springs to my mind is that old fairy tale of mirror, mirror on the wall. And you know, the caricature is also that, you know, we're always looking at our own reflection and admiring it as a narcissist. So I guess that's probably the best description I can give.

Yes. Are there different levels of such toxic behavior?

Absolutely. So there's, there's levels of functionality. So that becomes like you can have a functioning narcissist where the narcissism works for them and for everybody else around them. Maybe somebody who's in the public eye, who has to have a public face, will have a certain necessity for a narcissism because it's all about their presence, their presentation at that point in time. But then you can also have the kind of narcissist who is. So they take up all the energy in the room and focus it all upon themselves. And that can be very toxic.

Yeah, it can be. What are sort of the identifiable behaviors? So if, if I was working in some workplace and I could say, okay, what are some of the behaviors that I could potentially identify that would indicate that this person is a narcissist?

So it's all about them. It's all about how good they are, how wonderful they are. They will also take credit for other people's successes and somehow build it or bolt that success into their own sphere of influence and potentially even look what I did, I did all this. And yes, well, you know, so and so only did the legwork, but it's all about me. Yeah, it's that kind of behavior that, that bit of a giveaway.

Yeah. So what is the underlying behavior? I mean, why do they do it? Why do they behave in that way? What's in it for them?

It comes down to ego. There is a huge need to look better than everyone else, and some would say look better than they really are. So there could also be an underlying lack that they perceive inside of themselves. And the more glory that they can vacuum to themselves, the more they bolster up their perception of self.

Yeah. So is it very much all about ego?

Pretty much.

Well, you did mention about, you know, we all have some level of ego driven.

Yeah.

Maybe you want to explain a little bit about that.

Ego is something that we all have and it drives us in various different forms. Even people who are timid, people who are self deprecating, or people who are self sabotaging, there is ego at play and that ego can turn around. Say I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough. That's one very extreme end. The other extreme end is I am the bee's knees. I am the be all and end all. Please look at me.

Yeah.

So it's all spectrum of ego. Of ego.

Yes.

Yeah. We need ego to survive. It's what gets us out of bed. It's what motivates us to do it. It's what allows us to say, I've done a fantastic job.

Yeah. Why is it a massive problem? If left unchecked for an organization.

The people who, on the backs of who the success of the narcissist has been produced, the people that are producing and supporting and creating the environment so that the narcissist can pull glory to themselves will burn out. They will say, I've had enough of this and all sorts of interesting things can start happening from there.

Okay, so let's look at it from a perspective of what is the difference between, let's say an employee that is displaying a narcissist that's got no sort of compared to a manager or an executive that has authority, also displaying a narcissist, what's the difference here with a.

Narcissist within a team that has no authority, it's an annoying burr in the fur with somebody who's in charge. It becomes a real liability for the organization and also for the narcissist themselves. Because if along with great glory also comes great culpability. So if there is something that happens to somebody who's in charge and has been used to taking all of the kudos to themselves when things go wrong, they also take all of the blame onto themselves because they position themselves as the be all and end all. And that can often end badly.

Let's look at it from a perspective of an executive. Why having this narcissist behavior could potentially cause failure or the leader themselves to fail.

Because there is a fairy tale being brought together in their mind that they're always going to be invincible, that they're always right, that the way that they are proceeding is the best way possible and they're not open to creative suggestions, to alternate ways of doing things, to input from team criticism that can be constructive. All those things are not bolted into the outcome, which is a bit of a. It can be an Achilles heel for that personality.

Yeah. Because those people are driven to rise through corporate ladder very quickly. But once they get there.

Yep.

It's very difficult to maintain that sort of behavior.

It is, it is. Especially when they are now put into areas or promoted beyond the level where they're currently capable. Then that behavior will tend to perpetuate. But it can, it can spiral out of control very quickly.

Yeah. Now there's another form of narcissist behavior which is the COVID Yes. So the question I suppose is one is can you tell me a little bit more about the COVID narcissist? But is ego there still being displayed?

Absolutely. The ego is. The ego is what drives the narcissism. It's just the method of delivery is different. So in one instance the COVID is creating a certain amount of deniability. Yes. Whereas in the overt it's like this is it, deal with it.

Okay, so let's suppose that an organization is able to identify a person that is displaying narcissist behavior. If they do find it, how difficult would it be for the narcissist to change that behavior? Sorry, I was going to add another question. And if they don't change their behavior, what options does the organization have? Then.

Again, we're dealing with ego. And if you have an ego that has created a Persona around themselves that they are invincible, to tell them now that they are not invincible and that they have, let's put it bluntly, failed at a particular task or a particular situation. There will be denial, there will be anger, there will be all sorts of different behaviors that come out. Now let's assume that that behavior is toned down and the person says, hand over heart. I've changed my ways, I've seen the light, doing things differently. Now. There's nothing to say that in a period of time, whatever it might be, that that behaviour won't creep back in again and that, that, that full blown narcissism will come back in again.

Yeah. Correct. Yeah. So wrapping it up, what is a key takeaway from a narcissist behavior?

We all need to be able to feel that we've achieved something and that we can look in the mirror and say, well done. I've really done a marvelous job and I'm very proud of myself. And that's human nature. It's when it is either under or in the case of a supreme narcissist, it becomes the dominate, the dominant focus, where they vacuum up the glory from everyone else for their own edification. That's where the problem exists.

It sure does. And it's a challenge that some organizations are facing today. Yes. And as I said, I gave a hypothetical early on, which is basically, you know, if your star employee is generating 80% of your revenue but is highly toxic, what would you do?

Yeah. The question becomes that that star personality, the star revenue maker, may actually be taking the wins from the people around him, around them. And you're not able to see the other team players that have also points of excellence.

Correct.

You may say that this person is keeping the others down. The others may be performing to peak efficiency. You're just not seeing it because it all seems to settle on this one person. How much more effective can you be and where do you put this person in perspective of their results? If you suddenly realize that maybe 40% of their 80% is actually other people's efforts.

Exactly.

That's the downfall.

Good point. So with that, I thank you for watching. The next video is going to be about gossip. Who doesn't love a gossip? Thank you.

Thank you.