The #1 Thing About Behaviour That You Must Know!

Hello everyone. Welcome to Naked Insider Channel Video. I'm really excited today. Today we're going to actually talk about the human element, the risk. You've probably seen and read many of my articles, seen many presentations where I discuss about two angles. One angle is about how do we get people expect them to do what we want. And the other thing is how do we shape them so that they act in the best interest. So we often refer it as the carrot and the stick. So why is it important? So we're talking about human behavior. So human behavior from a point of view of understanding what people do and why do they do it. So the question is, when someone rolls up in an organization feeling depressed, what is their impact upon themselves and upon their group of people that they tend to work with? Is it going to be productive? Is it at all risky? So today I have a really good friend of mine, his name is Peter. Thank you, Peter. Natural. Sorry for. And we're going to be discussing on numerous different types of topics about the human element. And it's going to be really important for you as an employee to understand how you can take some of the key elements of it and instill it in yourself so that you can become by far more productive, likable, and understand the human behavior around you. If you're a manager, executive, you're probably wondering, how do I become more effective communicator? So the discussions that we're going to have will really illuminate such a key, what you call tangibles that you can address and take with you. If you're the HR manager, one of the most challenging areas for you is how do I effectively manage people? Not just administrator, but manage people. So when they do have a problem, as I just mentioned, that you can effectively implement some psychology, some caring to help them through that situation. If you're an executive, you, you need to understand what your risk to your business. After all, an organization is a group of people. So you need to understand how people could affect your business outcome, your mission, your vision, your goals and so forth. If you are a chief risk officer or any risk officer, for you it is important to realize that people by and large are the root cause of most of your problems, if not all of the problems within your organization. Now it sounds negative, but if you understand from a technology perspective, from any other productivity perspective, then you will understand that for you to impact business from a performance, from an outcome, from a project, you'll realize that the most important is to impact in a positive manner your people. So this is why we're going to actually be talking about a bunch of different topics. Each one will have different takeaways. And today, specifically today, we're going to talk about what we call the mother of all topics, human behavior. So Peter, before we start talking about human behavior, tell me a little bit about yourself. I mean we've known each other for probably what, 15 years?

15 years?

Yeah, thereabouts. Peter is a really good friend of mine. He's an NLP trainer, which stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming trainer. But give me a little bit more background. Sure.

So I started off in the corporate world quite a long time ago, as you probably have remember. And one of the things that became a question mark for me was how do I communicate better? And I think that the best way of describing that is that I was in IT contracting. I was also in contract recruitment side of things, payroll management. One of the things that struck me was that most of the time I could actually understand or key into people, but not always the case. So it was never one of those things that I could walk into a situation and say I think I can get this person, I mean get as in where they're at, where their headspace is at so that I can actually understand what it is that they need so that I actually provide for them what, what they really want. Now one of those things was how do I understand how people work. So obviously I did a little bit of fossicking about, I like that word fossicking and I came across nlp which basically stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming. Now I also have a programming background so it made a lot of sense to me that we use a programming language called our spoken language that then changes the programming within the mind, which is our CPU if you like. However, from that particular perspective I looked at what is it that we can do or that I could do that I could learn that will give me the consistency of communication so that I can actually walk into and to 90% of the spectrum of people that I work with or that I, that I engage with, I can actually understand or slide into their world to understand where they're coming from and what it is that they're actually looking for. So that's essentially how I got into nlp and I loved it so much

that

I've been an NLP trainer now for the last seven years.

Okay, so what was, what's been the most memorable part of being a trainer?

The most memorable part is actually watching change happen. There's a conception out there when people go into NLP and Possibly there's some fruit to that, but people look at NLP as a way of changing other people. But in actuality, with nlp, it allows you to change your own internals so that you can more potently relate to other people as well too. That's key, and that is key. It's all about what we can change within ourselves. One of the tenets is that it's hard to change other people, but it's easy to change ones in self, which goes into where we're going with.

And so can you relate a sort of a story where it's rather memorable but more frustrating or what would be some of the challenges?

Yes, one of the things that was most frustrating at that time, and it was actually a really good. It was actually a really good training exercise for me, was going to the passport office and walking into the passport office, and there is a sense of bureaucracy. And I'm sure we've all come across that before. Looking at the kinds of things that I wanted to achieve versus the kinds of things that could be achieved across the counter at that time, I needed to telegraph to the person on the other end of the. On the other side of the counter that I actually understood the world that they were in.

Yes.

So suddenly, all by. And this is essentially rapport 101. So suddenly, by understanding the world view from the person on the other side of the counter, the kinds of constraints that they were under and what they could or could not do allowed a communication to start happening, a rapport start happening, which made things a lot more smooth. So all of a sudden, instead of being waiting in the queue, I got the phone call saying, you're next in line, which was really great. I mean, they didn't break any boundaries. You've got to say that right up front. But they did their level best to accommodate what needed to happen so that I could move forward and achieve what I needed to do. The upshot being that I got a passport within 48 hours.

Okay.

Which was necessary.

Good stuff. Okay. So why is psychology. Because, after all, why psychology is important for organization, why do I need to take note of it? Because most organizations, well, they won't have an onboard psychologist. But why do you think that, you know.

Well, it's a matter of. So there are two worlds inside of an organization. Whether it's now public service organization, whether it's now for profit or not for profit organization. There are two worlds. One world is how we project to the outside world.

Correct.

And we have certain expectations of the people that we work with that our behavior outside is impeccable.

Yes.

Unfortunately that doesn't always translate to the behaviour we have inside of the organisation.

Correct.

So that you can have somebody really lovely outside and inside it's like oh my gosh, who are you? And that kind of dissonance, that kind of one way in one way and another way in another way, I think leads to a very large cause of friction in many organisations.

So in the coming videos you'll learn heaps more about peer. What we're going to do is we're going to actually dive in, into what is behavior. But let's look at the underlying of what is an organization. When I look at it, I look at from a collection of or group of people that share a common goal or vision to produce an outcome. How do you see it?

Absolutely. An organization is the sum of its component parts, obviously the main part of which is human beings.

Okay.

Human beings don't come in brand names models with predictable. With predictable operating parameters. So you need to be able to create an environment inside of an organization that engenders that creates a commonality that also allows people to use their individuality to perform.

That is such a key, such as so the individuality. Struggling to say that Anyway. So the key is when I read a lot about articles and books, they usually look at as organizations as a collection of people. But the challenge is that what I see is that organizations don't take the dynamic behavior of people as a singularity. So basically what I mean is each person is different, they all bring something of value. We tend to put them in a box.

Correct.

Why is that?

It's convenience. There is an air of set and forget. It's almost like in certain instances people are looked at as pieces of equipment. You know their parameters, you know their capabilities, you know what, how they could possibly what their upgrade path is. And once that is categorized, then for a large extent that person is actually locked into that channel. And that lock in goes both ways. So if there is an expectation on a person to be locked into that channel, that person expects to be locked in another channel and the net result is they're locked into the channel.

Yes. Okay, so what's the underlying sort of framework of an organization? I mean obviously it's behavior, but how do you see it?

Yes. So behavior is.

Could be culture as well. But we'll leave the sort of the culture to the side. But really more understand what's behaviour.

So behavior is literally there are studies out there, depending on which ones you look at. But most of our Behaviors that we exhibit are 80% rote, are 80% automatic unconscious. And you'll find that happens in the workplace as well too. So in nlp, we use a concept called anchors. And everything around a person, whether it's now the environment that they're sitting in, the chair that they're sitting in, the walk into the office, the walk, the drive into the car park, all of these become anchors that generate a feeling that will then ramp up how that person has behaved in the past and then creates an expectation of behavior of that in the future as well, too. So. So environment is absolutely big in that scenario. The second is the kind of people that you have around you, so you have the societal influences, whether you're matesy with the boys or whether you're now very, very prim and proper with people. This is a second layer. And the third layer is literally the social side of things. How are people with each other? You know, are they. Are they toxic with each other? Are they supportive with each other? Is that somebody that you can trust? Is that somebody that you can. That you avoid at all costs?

Correct. Is that somebody you can work with?

Yeah.

Funny, you mentioned just something before in terms of anchoring. How often have you driven in a car five minutes later saying, where am I going?

I'm not going to work today, why am I going this road?

Yes, exactly, exactly. So what is the guidance of behaviour?

The guidance of behaviour is an established pattern. So nobody goes into a new situation with an expectation of behaviour, but that behaviour becomes entrenched over a very short actual period of time. So within a week, if you're imagining a new starter, for instance, walks into an organisation, their expectation is they're on high alert for everything that they need to be do and say in order to fit in with that organisation. Within about a week they're starting to feel comfortable. That feeling comfortable is already an automation process. Now, look, automation is good. It actually allows us to focus on individual jobs at hand because we're not taking care of the bigger picture. But it can also entrench people inside of channels of behavior.

Very much so. Very much so. That's why you get groups and very different social behaviors using different groups. So that leads me to the next question, which is the environment and the context around it. So you can have different behaviours in different groups and so forth. So why is the environment so important?

The environment is important because of expectations and also projected behaviours inside of those organizations. So for instance, if you're looking at a larger ish corporation or organization, your Behaviour in the boardroom as an outsider is different as your behaviour in the boardroom as an insider. So your environment is perceived as different. So the environment is also very much a trigger for perception. And perception creates responses. Essentially. If I perceive something to be relaxed and calm, I'll be relaxed and calm. If I perceive something to be, oh my gosh, I really need to pay attention to this. My awareness level will ramp up quite significantly.

That's key. So here's a question, and you mentioned it slightly before, toxic. So you could get a person that joins an organization, that single person could be toxic and then the whole organization becomes toxic.

Correct.

How does it manifest?

It's the old simile, one bad apple can spoil the batch. So there is friction. Where in this instance, if you introduce a new element which is a toxic element that generates friction which radiates out from that person. It's almost a crowd effect, if you like. If you have one person who starts becoming snarly or whatever adjective or you want to put in there, that will then create a response back from the, from, from people around them. Oh, we didn't expect that from you. That's not how we behave around here. But that also then trickles out and becomes part of the greater culture. Now there is a resilience involved. So some cultures that spread tends to slow down a bit more because there's also positive reinforcement coming back in again. But the root cause is always going to be that one antagonistic point I'm not talking about.

Excellent. Okay, so let's look at behavior expectations. So for example, management or executive want to have better results, better outcome, better sales. And so what they do is when they, for example, they do an interview or they do a performance assessment with individual people, so they tend to basically focus on what they did wrong. This is what you did wrong. And this is my expectation. Moving on, what is the end result of that person? That leaves that discussion when basically they said, oh, you know, here all the different wrong things that, you know, performed.

It's an old adage, but it's a true one. What you get is what you focus on.

On.

So if your focus is on a particular, on a particular direction and you hammer that direction, positive or negative, you're actually bringing it into prominence inside of the consciousness.

Yes.

You know, if I were to. It's the old classic, if I say to you, don't think of a white elephant. Ah, my gosh.

Exactly. So the question is then how likely is that person after being discussed, paraded about what the things that they're not doing well, how likely are they to change?

It comes down to the buy in. So if you have one person who wants to have effect a change and the other person doesn't buy into that, I want to affect a change. You're going to have at best 0 response, at worst a snapback effect from there.

Okay.

And that leads into all sorts of. Interesting.

Yeah. Because it's sort of a very simple metaphor. If you've got kids at home and they're, let's say young, two year old, three year old, you would constantly be monitoring them to see whether they're doing the right thing or the wrong thing. The challenge is if you bring that same approach to an organization, you're either micromanaging. And why doesn't that work? Micromanaging? No one wants to be stood on top and being packed all the time, do they? But let me ask you a question. Why change? When management or executive want to change, whether it's changing culture or changing a group of people or even an individual, why is it so difficult?

I think because people are so focused on an outcome that they don't actually understand that there is a human being that needs to affect that outcome.

Yes.

So in, in order to achieve that outcome as a manager, they need to effect a change in the human being that they're talking to and with, and I'm saying to. Because a lot of times management on the receiving end, it feels like management is talking at a person. And we never ever like to be talked at. We like to be engaged with.

Correct.

And I mean this. There's some very, very simple tools out there. One of the, one of the things, you know, if you, if you are looking to effect a change is tell people what they're doing. Right. It gets back to what you get is what you focus on.

Correct. Correct.

You are so good at signing people up. You're so good at making that, making that transition between I don't know whether I want to put the pen to paper and getting the pen to paper. Brilliant.

Keep it up. Yes.

That then raises the level of engagement and it creates the mood of it buying. So then you can then say it now if you can also get the check, that would be really wonderful. Yes.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, so we want to wrap it up. So what are some of the key takeaways that you see about behavior? Organizations?

So one of the quick and easy ways that you can change is to change the environment. People are habituated into their anchors. So if you have a person that's been sitting in a particular situation. One of the quickest, simplest things you can do is actually move people's locations. And if somebody's. Everything around them is anchoring for them the behavior that they have developed and entrained during their stay, or they're sitting in that environment.

Correct.

It's what they visually see, it's what they auditorily hear. It's the level of the temperature. I mean, you know, we can go into all sorts of depths here, but if you are able to change that person's environment, it almost puts them back into the position where they were when they first walked in. Maybe half a day.

Yes. Where they're excited, keen.

Yeah, I'm soaking in what's my expected how do I do this? And that is a really powerful way of effecting change with people. And that can also be done elegantly.

Yes. So that's very well said there, Peter. So, look, our next topic is going to be about rapport, which is going to be excellent because that's a real key human engagement. I know we were going to be touching about employee engagement as well, but not so much in bits and drabs. That's what we're going to be doing. But next video is going to be all about rapport, if you like this. Look, we're going to be putting some more information below with links to our sites so you can download some more information. I can't wait to do the next video. Sounds great. So stay tuned and look, if you've got any feedback, let us know.

Thanks, guys.

Thanks, Peter. It's a pleasure. Cheers.