Happiness Hacks: FMC Fast Chat with Meaghan B Murphy, Author & Editor in Chief, Woman's Day

FMC Fast Chat takes you inside the news so you can be in the know in 30 minutes. Hosted by Fair Media Council CEO and Executive Director Jaci Clement, Fast Chat features notables in news, media, and business. Today we're lucky enough to be fast chatting with Megan B. Murphy. She's the editor-in-chief of Woman's Day magazine and the author of a brand new book, So today we want to talk to her about both those things, and she also happens to be an expert on life hacks. So if I'm any good at this at all, within the next 30 minutes you'll learn how to be happy all the time, right, Megan?

Absolutely.

So thank you so much for joining us today.

Thank you for having me.

Oh, happy to. So let's get right to it. Now, you, you've spent your career in magazines.

Yes.

Okay, let's walk me through the magazines that you've worked for.

Okay, so I started my magazine career when I was 18 years old. So I am now 45. My math sucks, but I think it's been like 25 years in media. Um, I started at YM Magazine. I started as an intern and that, um, became a contributing editor by the time I think I was like 19. Then my early 20s, I was one of the founding editors of Teen People magazine, rest in peace, as well as YM, rest in peace. Um, and from there, so from I went YM, Teen People, then I launched a couple of websites, did some time on the creative team at Victoria's Secret before jumping back into magazines, launching Lifetime Magazines, then doing a stint at Cosmo for 4 years as a senior editor. Then, then I went to Self Magazine for 9 years, then Good Housekeeping as the executive editor for 6 years, and I've been the editor-in-chief of Woman's Day for 1 year. And some TV in between. I was an on-air personality on MTV in the Late '90s.

Okay, very cool. Now you started then this job?

Yeah.

When the pandemic hit?

Oh yeah, yeah, it's kind of surreal.

Yeah, what was that like?

Well, it's really funny. So yesterday, for the first time in like 1 year, 1 month, and 17 days, I went back to the Hearst Tower, back to my office at Good Housekeeping. So I had never cleared out my desk at Good Housekeeping because I got named editor-in-chief of Woman's Day at the height of lockdown. So I left on a Thursday and never came back because it was like, okay, yeah, no, we're in lockdown mode. So it was basically somebody sent home my monitor, somebody sent home my computer, and I started making a magazine from my kitchen table with a team I had never met in person. Luckily we did a pretty good job. So we reinvented Woman's Day magazine. And I think there was probably so many gifts in doing it from home, 'cause really I didn't ask a lot of, permission and didn't have to ask forgiveness. So that was great. I wound up changing the logo and really reimagining the magazine as Destination Celebration. Because what I felt like in that moment we all needed was a joyful escape. And so we like to say no holiday left behind from Taco Tuesday to Christmas, we are going to help you find joy on every page. It really kind of holds hands with my book, which I was simultaneously finishing last April while homeschooling 3 kids in like the most surreal moment in my career.

That sounds insane. Okay, so what I'm getting out of this though, are you the person responsible for all my neighbors suddenly like decorating outdoors for Easter and these holidays that were never really holidays to decorate for?

Well, so first of all, one of the concepts in my book and in my life is holiday hard. And I think that we should find the yay and find reasons to celebrate in every day. And those little distractions that punctuate any day with, with a little bit of levity and light and fun are really important. They're not frivolous. They're necessary and can be a secret to happiness. So yeah, you can blame me for any decorations you want. I will take full responsibility happily.

All right. True confession. Which is your favorite holiday?

Oh, I think about this deeply. So I love Halloween because my birthday is October 28th. And I grew up believing that that was my day.

I had I'm the 29th, so you have to share with me.

Fellow Scorpio. Okay, so we can share Halloween. Also, my favorite color is orange, so I love the excuse to have more orange in my world.

Okay.

Um, Easter is like the prettiest holiday. I love all the pastels and I love the bunnies. Um, Christmas is super fun and we go over the top, but it's so expected that it's not as exciting. I like, you know, I also am getting excited. May 1st on Saturday, I'm going to decorate for Memorial Day and I'm just gonna vomit patriotism all over the place. Like, I can get I get excited about anything. Taco Tuesday is a standing holiday every Tuesday in my house. I've got all kinds of garlands and lights and matching t-shirts and napkins and themed plates. And it's escalated over the pandemic because it was something that my family really looked forward to. I holiday hard.

It sounds it. Anything for the Kentucky Derby?

Oh yes, we did these amazing mint julep cupcakes. I'm very excited about them. The cool thing too is it's also gonna be May 4th, which is May the 4th Be With You Day. So if you wanna dress up like Star Wars May 4th, please do and report back. I want to know about it.

Okay, fair enough. All right. So let's go back a little bit though, to how this became your life. How did you ever get involved with magazines to begin with?

Sure. It's a long, crazy story. Um, but I, you know, I had some angsty, tumultuous teen years. I had a raging eating disorder. I had big, scary negative feelings. I was sort of the embodiment of negativity, um, and had these raging emotions that I really couldn't couldn't figure out what to do with. And, and so I became anorexic to stifle those emotions, landed myself in the hospital. And, you know, I talk about this in the book. My best friend and I were both suffering from an eating disorder, and she was en route to join me in an eating disorder program. And I mean, tragically, surreally jumped out of the car and died. So, you know, I am—

Wow.

Hospitalized. I have the guilt over my best friend's death. I'm trying to grapple with an eating disorder. And as I moved through those hard times, I wrote about it. I wrote a very powerful essay that earned me a Horatio Alger National Scholarship. By making my mess my message, I was honored and got a lot of national attention. I was— it's funny, I was on a call with the folks from the Horatio Alger National Scholarship Association this morning, 'cause we kind of reconnected through the book.

Yeah.

And I was like, I don't think my career would exist if it weren't for having won that scholarship, because it got me some national attention. I was on an NBC special. And that got the attention of YM Magazine that wanted to tell my story. And I said, sure, you could tell my story, but I'm gonna write it and I'm gonna start Monday as an intern. Will we cool? We cool? I'll be there Monday. And I just showed up. I was so fearless at that time. I'd already been through so much crap. I was so fearless. I'm like, yep, be there on Monday. And that's really how my career got started was from having gone through some adversity, having written about it, right? So writing has always been a very powerful therapeutic tool for me. And it was, you know, sort of validated very early on that when you share, you get the help you need and you help others. And wow, that feels good.

Okay. And do you still find that today?

Oh, absolutely. I mean, writing, writing Your Fully Charged Life, um, was something I felt I had to do, compelled to do. Um, and it's been, it's a 4th child to me and it was, it's been such a rewarding process.

Okay. So take us through the book a little bit. So if I were to pick it up, what should I expect?

So, Your Fully Charged Life— the subtitle is really long. It's a radically simple approach to having endless energy and filling every day with yay. And I like to think of it as a happiness toolkit. It's not a life makeover. It's not a program. It's a toolkit. As a service journalist for 25 years who really kind of went through the wringer and transformed herself, I've road-tested endless trips and tips and tricks and strategies, use myself as a guinea pig, and I know what works. And I think my secret sauce as a service journalist is that I can fun filter science. So I can tell you something like cognitive reappraisal, like I can tell it like, okay, what cognitive reappraisal? But if I say it, let's reframe with what's lame, here's how to do it, right? I can— I think that's what I'm good at as a journalist, which has translated in the book. So I'm going to give you these, these concepts that are based in positive psychology and based in neuroscience, but I'm going to fun filter them and I'm going to give you them in the context of life experience and real talk so that when you're going to walk away, whether you hit the work charge because where you want the boost and the recharge is in your work life, if it's the love charge, your relationships are struggling, the recharge, you need, you need some resilience and you need to be able to have some tools to weather these storms with grit and grace, I got you there. The extra charge is all about those fun, the fun factor, right? Like why having a favorite color can actually be mood magic. Yes, science says. Um, and the positive charge, how to really retrain your brain to prioritize positivity, change your neural pathways, and more automatically see the good.

Over here, guilty. We need all of the above here. True confession. I don't make my bed. I live alone. I don't think the dog cares. Why should I make my bed?

Well, this is fascinating. And I want to— it's one of those things like try it and see what happens, right? 84% of people who make their bed report feeling more productive and energized throughout the day. It's this small sense of accomplishment that happens first thing in the morning, then that can set off a chain reaction of good things to come. And I think it's, it's just that small. It's this little accomplishment, right, that triggers more and more and more as the day goes on. So we left for a trip at 3 in the morning and I still made the bed.

Really?

And because it just gives me that sense of I'm controlling a little bit of chaos, I'm achieving one thing, check, first thing in the morning. And it really, for me, and, and according to science, Harvard researchers, it is a, is a catalyst for good things all day.

Now, are we talking hospital corners or is it enough that I just straighten things out?

I mean, you're talking to someone who was the executive editor of Good Housekeeping. I realize here, so I like a hospital corner, but really it's just about getting it done. And I have endless hacks I also am a hack master. So, Beddyz zip-up bedding, which is basically like a sleeping bag for your bed that actually looks nice, can help you get it done in like 20 seconds or less and look pretty fabulous.

There you go. That's what we're looking for. But, but in all seriousness, though, the past year everyone has gone through, I mean, everyone is dealing with emotional issues or just mental health issues from whether it's being alone just the isolation that COVID has brought upon us, to the stress of trying to get their work done or just run errands has become a major to-do. What kind of tips do you have for helping people out on these kinds of issues?

Yeah, I mean, it's, I mean, it's been a year, right? I mean, my whole family, we went through, with all the other hardships aside, we also went through COVID. That was not fun. You know, we were sick, my 3 kids, my husband, my 71-year-old mom, like we were sick for 2 weeks, right? The key is so many different things. It's understanding that there's gonna be tools in your toolkit that are gonna help you every time you feel stuck. And living fully charged looks different for everybody. So what works for me might not be the same thing that works for you, Jaci. But I know that when I feel stuck, wow, if I put fresh flowers in my house, it eases anxiety. And there's science behind that, right? So whether that means I take scissors and go pick daffodils in my yard, or I go to ShopRite and buy, you know, 3 for $12 bunches of bouquets and just start arranging. I know that that's going to transform my mood, and the science agrees. That might be something that works for you. I say it's small, small things like dress the way you want to feel. Dress up to feel up. It's enclosed cognition. The way we get dressed impacts our mood. You know, dress the way you want to feel. Think of your clothes as a costume, right? I say this all the time. I was a theater major. If I were playing a firefighter on stage, I wasn't wearing a doctor's uniform and a stethoscope.

Right.

What is the— you know, they say there's that old cliché, dress for the job you want, not the job you have. Well, what if it's really about dressing for the life you want, right?

Yeah.

Where are you going? Where are you heading? I know that in those early days of pandemic when I was coming from like clean sweats, you know, dirty sweats to clean sweats, pajamas to pajamas, I felt differently than when I wore pants that buttoned. When I took a shower, when I combed my hair, when I dared to put on some lipstick, right? It makes a difference.

Yeah, that's a special occasion now, right?

It makes a difference. So it's— but it's understanding that all of those little things move the happiness needle. And when you move the happiness needle with all those little incremental steps, it can add up to happy, right? It's not like you're going to— you can't fix what's happening to you necessarily, but you can change the way you approach it. You can change the way you think about it. And it doesn't have to be big sweeping change to feel better. It can be making your bed. It can be dressing the way you want to feel. It can be, you know, understanding the power of weak ties and the Cheers effect. On some of my darkest days when I was really feeling lonely, and there's a loneliness epidemic in this country that has just been, you know, been— COVID has made it 1,000 times worse.

Yeah.

I was sitting on my porch in a mask just waiting to interact with the UPS person. Now Anthony and I text message each other. Like, that's how close we became through the pandemic. But understanding that that connection is so powerful, and it has the power to spark you, and it has the power to spark other people. And by making that small little tweak, it can lead to bigger change in your mood, in your disposition, in your day. I'll go to the drugstore just to interact with the cashier, right?

Mm-hmm.

Like, check in at checkout. That's, that's one of my biggest mandates. Smile, register someone else's humanity, engage. We need each other. We need each other. other as a community. We need each other as a nation. We need each other right now. And it's as small as smiling with your eyes, smizing, like Tyra Banks would say.

Yeah.

And, and I think what's really neat is for people who are a little bit shy, the mask is a great way to start practicing, practicing being out there, right? You have that little bit of security. Practice, practice interacting and engaging. Put yourself out there with the safety net of the mask.

You know, because it is like being in a costume.

It is. And I think that's a gift to extra— and to introverts, right? You can start to try on the idea of being a little bit more present, a little bit more out there, a little bit more engaged, and see how that feels. See how that sparks you and how that sparks the other person.

Yeah. Now I'm wondering, from the, the way you're talking, how does this filter back into the magazine? You know, this philosophy and outlook.

Oh my goodness. So like that, there's a, there's hidden yay flag on every cover. Um, there's a party on every page. We do a really, um, amazing package called Finding Joy, where we get to celebrate all walks of humanity and tell really fabulous silver lining stories. The whole front of the magazine is called Smile File. And we take those national days like National S'mores Day and celebrate the fact that chocolate and marshmallows and graham crackers found each other. And who cares if Hershey sponsors it? We get to eat chocolate and marshmallows and graham crackers today. Yay! It is really just— it's like punctuating these really hard times with some fun. Why? Why? It's okay to put fun on your calendar. It's okay to prioritize positivity. It's okay to feel moments of joy in hard times.

But through all of this, though, what I'm also hearing as an underlying message, you work hard. There's a lot of discipline involved in what you do. And I also noticed in your background, you're also a personal trainer. So movement seems to be very important to you in general.

Well, and the science behind that is undeniable. So the Health Charge chapter really is all about the importance of moving your body and protecting your sleep. If you don't move your body and you don't protect your sleep, it's almost impossible to feel healthy, happy, thrive, you know, have a zest for life, et cetera. Right? Like our bodies crave movement. That looks different for everybody. So for me, that means I get up at 5 o'clock in the morning and I either go for a run or I take, you know, a Pilates on crack class. Right? Like that's what I do, but it can be, it can be a Zumba class. It can be a walk. It just needs to be movement. We need to move our bodies and we need to sleep. We need to protect our sleep. I think everybody should sleep train the way you sleep train a child because routine is what's key. I like to go to bed at 10:17 and get up at 5:03. I don't even need an alarm. That's how my rhythms are now programmed. What does that look like for you? Maybe that means you go to bed at midnight and you wake up at, you know, 9. What is it? Everybody's rhythm can be different. The key is maintaining a routine and you'll know you get it right when you don't need more sleep on the weekend, when you're not trying to play catch up, because there's no such thing.

You are a healthy person in terms of healthy lifestyle, but you're still, you know, munching on tacos and s'mores here. So you do believe in enjoyment out of Oh yeah.

I mean, I have celiac disease, so I don't enjoy gluten, but other than that, yeah. I mean, I believe in enjoying all life has to offer.

Okay.

Um, and, and chasing what excites you and not being afraid to delight in the littlest things, whether that's a marshmallow or a taco or, uh, you know, a beautiful walk on a sunny day. We have a nice day here in New Jersey. Like I plan to enjoy that hardcore.

For a lot of people, if they've been unhappy for a bulk of time, actually being able to turn in and tune in and find what's making them happy. How do you do that when you haven't been happy for a while?

It's, it's really just about starting small, right? Just do it. Nike made boatloads of money off of that slogan because it really is that simple. Do one thing. And then chances are you're going to feel like doing one more thing and one more thing till ultimately, oh my gosh, I kind of feel better. How'd that happen? Right? Like, I don't believe in like change overnight, change 932 things and you'll be— no. What if you did one thing today to move the happiness needle?

Mm-hmm.

What if you practice gratitude? What if you just asked yourself at dinner or asked your family or asked what made you say yay today and just paused to appreciate one good thing about your day? What if you did that again the next day? And the next day, oh, you might start to see that there actually is good amongst the weeds. It's there, but our negativity bias is so strong that we sometimes ignore it and we don't see it and we don't let ourselves see it, right? I can't tell you how many people say to me like, well, you know, it's a dumpster fire of a year. How can you find any joy? Well, you better find any joy or you're going down with that dumpster fire, right?

Yeah.

I choose to live in the light.

Give me some of your inside secrets. What are, what are the little things that you find the most happiness in personally?

Oh my gosh, I find, I find all the happiness decorating and celebrating for sure. Um, decoration days in my house are some of the most fun days. I have an entire attic with organized storage bins of each different holiday. Um, I just find so much joy in that, but then But also, one of my favorite things to do in life is sea glass hunting with my children. I have a connection to sea glass from my late father, who used to fill his pockets with sea glass from Michaels and pretend it was real sea glass and would take his 11 grandchildren for walks along the beach and be scattering it out of his pockets. And they would be thinking they found all these treasures, but really it was from Michaels. And when he was dying, that was what he wanted his legacy to be, was to continue that that, that hunt and sea glass hunting. That was part of his legacy. So every time I'm on a beach looking for sea glass with my kids, it is, it is one of my most joyful, exciting, emotional moments. And I love the possibility in the hunt, the possibility that we'll find sea glass. I love the hope in that activity. Um, so I would probably have to say, arguably, I love exercise too, but searching for sea glass would probably be my favorite thing in life.

That's a great story attached to it too. Yeah, a great way to keep your father with you.

It's, it's so much. We have a big jar of sea glass in the kitchen window with a little cardinal sitting there.

Oh wow.

And it's, uh, it's just a— we've been collecting it for years and it's really special.

So tell me a little bit about how, from the time you started in the magazine industry to now, how has it changed?

I mean, it's changed so dramatically. I mean, I was, I was like laughing about this the other day, like back in my early magazine career, we made phone books, right? We made like We made like 250-page, like these big giant magazines with 960 million ads. I mean, it was different. We had big giant staffs and we traveled all over the place and, and we had unlimited expense accounts. I mean, I was at Condé Nast back in the day, so it was like you had a black car waiting for you to take you to lunch and, you know, at, at, uh, what was the name? It was Michaels or whatever the heck the place was.

Yeah.

Um, and then you had the black car waiting to take you home or to whatever event. I mean, it was like completely surreal. I don't even have an assistant these days, right? Like, you know, I make a magazine with a few people and, you know, sometimes I'm doing market and writing half the magazine. It's just, it's, we're scrappier. Um, I love that because for me it's a new challenge, right? I've been doing this for a very long time. I love the scrappiness about it. Um, it's more satisfying to me when I pull off a lot with a little.

Um, yeah, I understand that.

Yeah, it's, it's, it's been, you know, after 20, I mean, 25 years, it's, I can't believe I've been doing it that long. Um, this— it's a, it's a fun new challenge.

Yeah. So what kinds of things give you inspiration for the magazine itself?

Other people.

Yeah.

Um, I spark with other people. I love to hear other people's stories. I love to hear other people's passions. Um, I, I love to explore other people's talents, other people's likes and dislikes. I'm just fascinated by other people. Anytime I step outside of myself, I feel inspired.

All right. Tell me a little bit about that, stepping outside of yourself versus— I see a lot of people who, for lack of a better way to describe it, get in their own way.

That's what I was going to say. I think too many people get in their own way. It's exactly that. I had to say to one of my team members today, like, comparison is the thief of joy. You're looking at what other teams are doing or other magazines You know what, you'll never be happy with what we're doing until you just focus inward and get out of your own way by looking at and comparing to other people. Like, let's just do what we're doing. Let's do it well and let's enjoy it.

Yeah, I, I've heard some entrepreneurs say that if you wait until your product is perfect to launch, then not only have you waited too long, but the people that launched early, that went ahead and embarrassed themselves, now that they look back and see what they did, they're so far ahead of the curve now.

Yeah.

So, you know, it's almost as if by trying to be perfect, it's unhealthy on so many levels for us.

Well, perfect is super boring too. I mean, I love messy. I, I love mistakes. I think mistakes in life are gifts. I was a theater major, and I can remember an acting coach saying this to me once. He's like, listen, if a light falls, if the scenery drops, if you flub a line, it's a gift. It's just a chance to act react more truthfully in the moment. And I'm like, you know what? That's what life is, right? Those little surprises that they're gifts, right? Wow. That's absolutely not how I thought that would go. But isn't it kind of fun that it kept me on my toes and I had to react more truthfully and be more present by virtue of the fact that it was completely unexpected? Yeah.

In raising your kids, how does this filter down to them? Is mom a whole lot of fun? Or, or as mom, she's, she's got her fun side, but then she also disciplines us. How's that work out?

I'm pretty fun. So I like to say I'm the boss of fun and aesthetics, and my husband is the boss of logic and reason. Um, I'm, I am definitely a fun mom. I try, like, my husband kind of handles the discipline. He wishes I would step up a tiny bit, but I'm like, I just don't take anything that Seriously, it's hard for me to get mad about stuff.

Okay.

Because I'm like, yeah, okay, it would be nice if we weren't 5 minutes late for school, but I did sort of enjoy our breakfast chat. So—

I see. Okay. Okay. How did you meet your husband?

He's my brother's best friend.

Ah, okay.

Um, I've known him since second grade. I'm 4 years older though, so growing up it was sort of like, ew, I'm a senior, you're a freshman. And then I was like, oh my God, he makes me nervous and he reads and he's really cute. And why am I trying to set him up with everybody else? I should probably marry him. And then I did.

There you go. Good for you. So, and so how is the book going? Because it's only been out now, what, about a month or so?

It's been out, I think today's a Tuesday, so I think 2 months.

Okay.

Um, you know, we got off to a really good start. We launched on Today Show and I appeared on The Doctors and Live with Kelly Kellyanne Ryan, you know, in every magazine, because luckily I'm friends with every editor of every magazine after 25 years in the media.

I know.

Um, it's been a surreal, surreal time to launch just because there's no in-person events, there's no book tour, there's no book signing. So for someone like me who loves people, who loves contact, would love to be like high-fiving and signing stuff, um, you know, it's not how I dreamed that this period of time would be, but it's selling well, um, and there's already talks about what the second book will be and all that kind of fun stuff. Um, I am just— would love to be like at a Barnes Noble with like a lot of people, right? Like that, that's, you know, when you get a book deal or when you've been working on a book for years, like that's what you imagine, right?

Do you think a book tour sometime in the future, even if it's not a brand new book, will be happening?

You know, my— so the paperback then comes out next February, so I'm wondering if they're like, that's an opportunity to then do something like to have another moment, like another launch moment perhaps. Um, you know, it's just tricky. There's really just not a lot of in-person stuff happening, and I don't know when that will open up.

Yeah, okay. But in the meantime, you're connecting with people online?

I'm doing lots of fun stuff like this. I'm joining— I'm doing lots of corporate talks. I'm doing— I'm joining book clubs. I love to surprise like a group of women, you know, who is— who are reading the book, and someone will DM me on Instagram and say, oh, we have a book, you know, we have a book club, we love your book, we're all reading it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I would love to do like a surprise pop-in on a Zoom. So I've done a bunch of those, which are so fun for me, and they're kind of like— Wait, the author's here? So like, that's, that's kind of just magical and cool, you know?

Yeah. So how would people find you to do that?

So you can— I'm very active on social media. So my Instagram is Meghan B Murphy, all the letters. I'm extra in every way. M-E-A-G-H-A-N B Murphy. DM me there. There's a link to email me there. Um, and if you have story ideas you want to pitch me, you want to talk to me about, um, you know, a I've been doing a lot of corporate talks. So if you have a business that, you know, needs a pep talk, I'm doing a lot of that. You can really find me there. I have my own website. It's at meaghanbmurphy.com. And that's got lots of shop links for the book as well. It's available on Amazon and Barnes Noble. I always say shop local if you can. When you shop local, a real person does a happy dance. I am all about community and, and small business owners. So there's that. I guess those are the ways to find me.

Okay, one last question, then we need to wrap up. This is the hard one, though. You ready?

Okay.

What's the best part about being Megan B. Murphy? Uh, my—

well, let's think. The best part about being Megan B. Murphy? Oh, that's such a crazy question. I don't know. I mean, I'm— I feel like probably that I have, um, Outgrown vanity and am supremely confident as a 45-year-old mother of 3.

There you go. All right, sounds good. Thank you so much for joining us today. This was so much fun. I wish you great luck with the book, but I hope we'll stay in touch.

Absolutely.

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